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(The Straight Dope)   Where do all the stupid made-up car names come from?   ( ) divider line 282
    More: Interesting  
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27555 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2003 at 2:22 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-05-08 02:43:13 PM  
I once owned a Chevy Speculum.
Wait, it was Spectrum.
2003-05-08 02:43:23 PM  

IROC - Italian Retard Out Cruisin'


2003-05-08 02:44:03 PM  
05-08-03 02:27:13 PM Dizzledorf
I can still picture Phil Hartman "repairing" (read: molding) his Adobe after an accident!

I like the cup holder on the adobe. Basically, just smash your cup into the clay. Cool!
2003-05-08 02:44:04 PM  
Next time you're in Asia you should test drive the Proton Putra

[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-08 02:44:41 PM  
Kia Syphilis. Pontiac Azzcrack.

/Dakota driver, who cares
2003-05-08 02:45:10 PM  
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five..

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!

Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!

The Federal Highway comission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.


12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!

Canyonero! Canyonero!

Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)

She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)

Drive Canyonero!

Woah Canyonero!

2003-05-08 02:45:43 PM  
Dizzledorf hats off to you, my man.

$179! heh heh
2003-05-08 02:46:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Smart Car"

2003-05-08 02:49:44 PM  
Why is that called "Smart Car?"
They should call it "Crushable-by-a-Semi Car."
2003-05-08 02:49:47 PM  
Damn you, Bottomfeeder. I was totally gonna kill with my joke about how GM should make the "Siva" next time.

OK, maybe not kill, but it would certainly have made me smile for a few seconds.
2003-05-08 02:49:49 PM  
I don't think the GTO was the inspiration for stupid car names. I think it's a linking of horsepower to stupid race horse naming. I mean, why would you name a horse "War Emblem" or any of the other non-sequitir names they have in the derbies.
2003-05-08 02:49:51 PM  
And nooooooowwwwwwwww.......
The Dodge Phlegm!

Get it? Get it? Dodge phlegm?!?!

\got nuthin
2003-05-08 02:50:14 PM  
The Chrysler Vagina
2003-05-08 02:51:30 PM  
IROC - Indian Reserve Official Car
2003-05-08 02:52:07 PM  
Geez, I'd like to go out tonight, but my Probe won't start.
2003-05-08 02:52:09 PM  
Yeah, Bannerrefugee. You buy the car, and you get a free coffin when something hits it
2003-05-08 02:52:29 PM  
Spokesman: These days, everyone's talking about the Hyundai, and the Yugo. Both nice cars, if you've got $3,000 or $4,000 to throw around. But, for those of us whose name doesn't happen to be Rockefeller, finally there's some good news - a car with a sticker price of $179. That's right, $179. The name of the car?

Adobe. The sassy new Mexican import that's made out of clay. German engineering and Mexican know-how helped create the first car to break the $200 barrier. At this price, you might not expect more than reliable transportation - but, brother, you get it! Extra features: like the custom contour seats, or the beverage-gripping dash. And the money you save isn't exactly small change!

"Hey, hey, we're Adobe!
The little car that's made out of clay!
We're gonna save you some money
that you can spend in some other way!
Hey, hey, we're Adobe!
Hey, hey, we're Adobe!

Spokesman: Adobe. You can buy a cheaper car. But I wouldn't recommend it!
2003-05-08 02:53:08 PM  
Let's not forget the Ford Exploder.
2003-05-08 02:53:08 PM  
05-08-03 02:35:20 PM MandM
Also, there is no such thing as corinthian leather.

But what if it was leather made in the Greek city of Corinth?

Wouldn't it, in fact, be fine, rich "Corinthian leather"?

(Do I sound like Ricardo Montalban?)
2003-05-08 02:54:55 PM  
if i see one more cro-magnon asswipe staring at me from the left side of my screen I swear to God I'm going to become more disgruntled than I already am.
2003-05-08 02:55:29 PM  
reminds me of the old paul rodriguez comedy bit...
"grandma, what's a bravada?"
2003-05-08 02:55:39 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-08 02:57:36 PM  
Hotblack: I thought it was the ford Exploiter.
2003-05-08 02:57:44 PM  
Does anybody remember when GM made the Chevy Nova, then couldn't figure out why it sold so poorly in Spanish speaking markets? Because Nova means "NO GO" in Spanish! LOL!
2003-05-08 02:58:17 PM  
The Plymouth Pollyana SUV
2003-05-08 03:01:02 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Praying Mantis?
2003-05-08 03:01:06 PM  
2003-05-08 03:01:06 PM  
This is why cars should stick to numbers like Mercedes and BMW...
2003-05-08 03:01:51 PM  
"Lamborghini" -- tastes great over angel-hair pasta, with parmesan cheese.

"Lanos" -- the Hands of Fate

"Pinto" -- Beans

Personally, I love some of Dodge/Plymouth's names from the 60s and 70s: the Dodge Dart, the Plymouth Duster, the Charger, the Roadrunner, the Fury. Grrr, I tell you! Grrrrr!
2003-05-08 03:02:02 PM  
Went to Germany and rented a Renault Kangoo, which is a cross between a minivan and ass.

Off topic- are the mods going to post that story about Mike Price and the 'Roll Tide' hookers? That's top shelf stuff.
2003-05-08 03:02:09 PM  
Ok, there have been at least two or three Chevy Nova=no go references in this thread. That's all. No more. Everybody on the Interweb Thingy has heard it.

before you no go, go to snopes
2003-05-08 03:02:18 PM  
volkswagon comericals gave us some laughs though-fukengruven.
2003-05-08 03:02:45 PM  
Don't forget lexus and Alfa Romero
2003-05-08 03:02:53 PM  
<img src=" /marge.jpg"

2003-05-08 03:03:30 PM  
Albo- I'm glad I wasn't the only one to feel that way...
2003-05-08 03:03:30 PM  
2003-05-08 03:04:57 PM  
fark it!

Get your own CANYONERO pic.
2003-05-08 03:05:16 PM  
What about 'Le Car'? That is just sooo inspired...
2003-05-08 03:06:12 PM  
The only thing I have to say in this thread is both relevant and timely. I give you:

The Volkswagen Touareg

"With a name like Touareg, it has to be good!" A nice piece of machinery doomed to poor sales because of the idiotic name alone.
2003-05-08 03:06:41 PM  
Corporate naming companies are without a doubt the biggest hacks in marketing. And I work with a LOT of hacks.
2003-05-08 03:06:44 PM  
Don't forget the Challenger, and later the Viper and Prowler. Mopar knows how to pick kickass names!
2003-05-08 03:07:05 PM  
Slow news day?

Yup -- this article is 21 years old. Hell, the POSTSCRIPT at the bottom was written before most Farkers were out of diapers.

Next thing you'll be telling us Jack Kennedy was shot.

Pshaww - nothin' like the classics.
2003-05-08 03:07:08 PM  
They should use more obscure death and evil gods for cars. Imagine...

The Ford Anubis
The Chevy Marduk
The Toyota Loki
2003-05-08 03:07:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

In medieval mythology, an evil spirit that violates women while they sleep. Unfortunately, Reebok used this name for a running shoe in 1997. Later, they recalled them. The name "Incubus" was only on the box, so they were able to re-issue the shoe with another name.
2003-05-08 03:07:44 PM  
Ferrari Testarossa= Redhead--interesting

Lamborghini Countach-- read in Car and Driver in the 80's it is some sort of Italian expression akin to "holy shiat" --at least that is what they said.
2003-05-08 03:08:07 PM  
Arent the Tuareg nomadic salt traders of the sahara desert?
2003-05-08 03:08:33 PM  










...from ghetto maternity wards?
2003-05-08 03:09:21 PM  
Nissan="Infinity" in japanese
2003-05-08 03:09:28 PM  
If one more of you lame-a$$ losers pimps that chevy "NO-VA" mexican angle again I will send a cheap-ass mexican cantina 'ho to ride your pride.
2003-05-08 03:10:13 PM  
I'll give a Farker $5 if he or she can tell me what Corolla means.
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