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(Statesman Journal)   Chewing gum saves day - and $1.825 million   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

21633 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2003 at 12:07 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

73 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-07 03:06:36 PM  
Now he has Hepatitis C from the chewing gum. And he's suing for $1.825 million.
Now you know the rest of the story.
2003-05-07 03:16:55 PM  
My dad once had to take a cheque for a million pounds to the Inland Revenue when he worked for BP back in the sixties. I don't believe chewing gum was involved.
2003-05-07 03:18:01 PM  
05-07-03 11:07:00 AM Thales

The agency is on the second floor of the building. The women were on their way to make the deposit when the check slipped and fell into the crack.

There is no way in hell that I'd let a check for $1,825,000 slip out of my hands.

----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --
05-07-03 11:19:35 AM Crazyeddie

No reward? Punch her in the neck!

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05-07-03 01:23:50 PM AugustWest


Get a clue.

----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --
05-07-03 01:56:59 PM Control

"She without asking spit her gum into my hand.

Ignoring the other womans ewww, McCarthy jammed the gum onto the end of the ruler.

"And that's the story of how I got the SARS."
2003-05-07 03:40:54 PM  
"Now he has Hepatitis C from the chewing gum"

"And that's the story of how I got the SARS."

Jesus you two need to relax. Havent you ever kissed a random woman before? For the love of God dont go to Mardi Gras or you two would end up hiding in the corner somewhere while surrounding yourselves with rubbing alchol and lysol.
2003-05-07 03:52:44 PM  
JamesBong - Do you go around kissing random women? Good luck with that hobby. I see ass-kickings and jail time in your future.
Besides - everybody knows that women have cooties!
2003-05-07 04:12:22 PM  
I need to hire them to get the 20 that slid into my car door. Before you ask I'll tell you. I was sitting in a drive thru and somehow dropped it between the rolled down window and the inside of the door. Yes I ride the short bus.
2003-05-08 12:10:41 AM  






2003-05-08 12:14:33 AM  
"My dad once had to take a cheque for a million pounds to the Inland Revenue when he worked for BP back in the sixties. I don't believe chewing gum was involved."

wow, i once took a check playing hockey from a guy who felt like he weighed a million pounds. is that like a chequie? or is a chequie those french pancakes that you roll up and cover in strawberries? hmmmm, strawberries....
2003-05-08 12:15:02 AM  

You can pop the inner panel off the door with a screwdriver.

I will do it for you for $15.
2003-05-08 12:15:33 AM  
DownSouth pay me ten bucks and I'll get it back for you. I'm not liable for any new cosmetic imperfections on your door however.
2003-05-08 12:15:44 AM  
I just love how this story was written. Its so procedural that I almost want to go grab a few strangers and do a line by line reenactment.
2003-05-08 12:17:29 AM  
I read that chewing gum is supposed to help increase your memory. Something about having to remember to chew.

Men everywhere are crying.
2003-05-08 12:18:48 AM  

Cheap bastard.

2003-05-08 12:20:39 AM  
I used to go around kissing random women. It was college though.
2003-05-08 12:20:42 AM  
TurnerBrown I can do it for cheaper through a time minimization technique I call "smash the hell out of whatever gets in the way." It's a highly sophisticated method perfected through years of putting together computers, performing open-heart surgery, and getting free food out of vending machines.
2003-05-08 12:21:07 AM  
C&H on chewing:
comic strip
2003-05-08 12:21:16 AM  
Was this article written by a Chewlies gum rep?

RE: Fark personals pic
Goodbye quasi-dubious hottie, hello Mulder-Wolverine hybrid. *sigh* I don't think Shatner's albums should put ANYONE "in the mood."
2003-05-08 12:22:19 AM  
/Insert Inanimate Carbon Rod reference here
2003-05-08 12:23:04 AM  
Andonbray Good God man, I had all but forgotten that Calvin and Hobbes strip. Yeah, I think the world is getting closer and closer to "Chewing" magazine. But yeah, thanks for linking to that. I want to have your babies. /hyperbole
2003-05-08 12:23:28 AM  
"hello Mulder-Wolverine hybrid"

Man, you hit the nail on the head. That dude is creepy
2003-05-08 12:27:27 AM  
You're welcome, Squidward. They post a new C&H strip there everyday. It is one of the first sites I go to when I turn my computer on.
2003-05-08 12:27:34 AM  
2003-05-08 12:32:15 AM  
A midget excapes from a Soviet circus raps on your door, in the middle of the night, whispering frantically, "Help! The Secret Police are after me! Can you cache a small Czech?"

/dated political humor
2003-05-08 12:32:47 AM  
Salem? I bet he really used witchcraft to get the check out.
2003-05-08 12:33:54 AM  
For their next trick, they're going to use a stick to pull termites out of a mound.
2003-05-08 12:34:00 AM  
No reward at ALL?? I mean, dag, yo.
2003-05-08 12:34:19 AM  
nobody's asking the big question here--did he get the digits?
2003-05-08 12:36:55 AM  
2003-05-08 12:37:31 AM  
The new Fark Personals Guy looks like Patrick Dempsey trying to do a Robert DeNiro impression while taking a dump.
2003-05-08 12:38:42 AM  
Bubblegum Alley. Ew....
2003-05-08 12:39:35 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-08 12:40:54 AM  
oh, you have to... pay. how unpleasant.
2003-05-08 12:51:46 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

$1.8 million, now with flavor crystals!
2003-05-08 12:55:10 AM  
I found the whole gum transfer scene very sensual. Am I alone here?
2003-05-08 12:59:50 AM  
The gum chewer was probably reminded of her Catholic School teacher demanding her gum. Not an erotic remembrance at all, I wager.
2003-05-08 01:02:10 AM  
I don't want to work. I want to bang on the drum all day.
2003-05-08 01:03:03 AM  
Mmmmm, disciplining catholic schoolgirls...
2003-05-08 01:04:26 AM  

My god thats funny. Best laugh I've had in a while...which explains my sad existence.
2003-05-08 01:06:39 AM  

I agree. The whole silent transition was odd in and of itself. My mind filled in the rest.
2003-05-08 01:07:05 AM  
I do what I can, which is very little.
2003-05-08 01:07:59 AM  
DownSouth - somebody had the same problem on the one Car Talk I listened to this year. Spooky. Anyway, they decided a $20 was pointless to get, unless your car is F'd up.
2003-05-08 01:08:44 AM  
I hope they change the check route, considering its a monthly one and now the whole world knows its a monthly check, so dont be surprised if somebody is waiting for 2 laides going to a building with an envelope.

2003-05-08 01:11:39 AM  
DownSouth... I will do it for 10.
2003-05-08 01:14:28 AM  
"Hey Jerry, it's no problem. I get it from this Asian guy across town - I'll get you some"
2003-05-08 01:16:22 AM  
Um... if this is a monthly check thing, and it's for farking $1.825 million, maybe they should look into some kind of direct deposit, don't ya think?
2003-05-08 01:21:10 AM  
I'm gonna get up right now, and I'm gonna do it.
I got a big wad o' Bazooka, and I'm gonna chew it.
img src=
2003-05-08 01:26:10 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Ok, better now. As if you all couldn't have guessed what that pic was going to be.
2003-05-08 01:29:01 AM  
Salem? I bet he really used witchcraft to get the check out.


Or, maybe you know this and you're joking.
2003-05-08 01:29:52 AM  
Great job, Statesman Journal... For being an already worthless Salem newspaper, now they've managed to get their ineptitude broadcast to the entire place! You can at least capitalize a person's name the first time you mention it.

In any case, that's a lot of money for people so stupid to be handling on their own. How did the lady not think to use her gum?!
2003-05-08 01:29:52 AM  
I found the whole gum transfer scene very sensual. Am I alone here?

No. I thought for a moment that I was reading the Penthouse Forum when I got to this point in the article:

I reached my hand back without a word and put it under her chin. She without asking spit her gum into my hand.
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