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(Yahoo)   Microsoft announces first portable lavatory with Internet access. No word on if ass-gasket protection wil be available for the keyboard and touchscreen   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 86
    More: Stupid  
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4198 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2003 at 7:10 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-05-06 07:13:13 PM
i made that shiat up weeks ago with my portable computer.
 
2003-05-06 07:13:37 PM
the blue screen of death is equivalent to running out of tp...
 
2003-05-06 07:14:00 PM
WTF? How hard is it not to use the word "lavatory". Stupid brits, just say bathroom or crapper, its more of a common word.
 
2003-05-06 07:14:01 PM
Oh the humanity!

/Thats just gross
 
2003-05-06 07:14:05 PM
I'll bet security on that uses some sort of ASCII encryption.
 
2003-05-06 07:14:42 PM
Wouldn't the term "iLoo" be copyright infringment?
 
2003-05-06 07:15:00 PM
"So I was takin' a crap at an airport...and a splash of water shot straight up my ass! My sphincter slammed shut like a time lock at a bank!"

/200 points to farker who can ID the man
 
2003-05-06 07:15:16 PM
Even being a staunch defender of Microsoft, I can't defend this move. I wouldn't even touch a keyboard in a private place that anyone can step into. You never know what the jackass who decided to piss on the keyboard has inside his urine. What's even worse is when some asshat decides to jerk it in there, doesn't feel like cleaning up with the TP, so cleans up on the keyboard. Or the asshole who decides to scribble all over the screen.
 
2003-05-06 07:16:05 PM
/Doesn't hate people...honest
 
2003-05-06 07:16:28 PM
Sounds like something Robert Schimmel would say.

OOOOOH, you the king.
 
2003-05-06 07:16:35 PM
This is the second stupidiest thing I've read today.
 
2003-05-06 07:17:21 PM
AIN'T THAT SOME shiat
 
2003-05-06 07:17:43 PM
Rhin0head
You are serious?

It is "a lavatory". Big whoop.
 
2003-05-06 07:18:16 PM
Now you can blog your log...

/Nuthin
 
2003-05-06 07:18:20 PM
And AOL is there.
 
2003-05-06 07:18:24 PM
OMG THSI WAS AN SLASHDTO LATS WEEK! WHOEVER SUBMITTED THIS IS ASUUCHCHA RETARD OMGOMGLOL!1

</typical response coming up>
 
2003-05-06 07:18:26 PM
Reminds me of this.
 
2003-05-06 07:18:47 PM
HAH!

Apple beat MS to this one fair & square...

Presenting:

i-TOILET!!

 
2003-05-06 07:21:00 PM
When I was in the second grade I started a new school and they told me where the "lavatory" was. I almost peed my pants because I couldn't find the bathroom. I thought they said labratory.

/sad
 
2003-05-06 07:22:20 PM
I think the "wireless keyboard that can be used on lap" is probably the most disturbing part.
 
2003-05-06 07:23:45 PM
It's things like this make me lose even more faith in the future. we all know these stupid things will only catch in China and Japan, those folks are crazy for the retardedly-trendy and dumb.
 
2003-05-06 07:24:17 PM
That is farkin' nasty. I hope people wash their hands before and after exterminating kittens...
 
2003-05-06 07:25:20 PM
Stebain

You have your 200 points. They may be turned in at the front counter. 500 points gets you this cool oversized comb! 500,000 gets you this Casio keyboard from 1988.

"Thanks, *squirt*, happy?"
 
2003-05-06 07:26:35 PM
Anyone notice the "Wireless keyboard can be used on lap" caption in the picture? No thanks! I give it 10 minutes before someone steals the keyboard and wipes crap on the screen.

 
2003-05-06 07:26:51 PM
No shiat Shut......Up. Besides, who the fvck needs to look at porn and drop a duce at the same time?



Wait a minute...
 
2003-05-06 07:28:16 PM
"For the masturbater on the go."
 
2003-05-06 07:29:25 PM
I hope it comes with Firewall protection - just in case it's Chili night...
 
2003-05-06 07:29:29 PM
I don't know I would think that people would want to spend the least amount of time in there.
 
2003-05-06 07:29:59 PM
Perfect. A shiat house with Powered by Microsoft on the side.
 
2003-05-06 07:31:54 PM
We will soon be forced to pay MS to sh!t. How long before we must pay to breathe?
 
2003-05-06 07:32:49 PM
This gives new meaning to the term "Sloppy seconds"


disgusting
 
2003-05-06 07:32:49 PM
if they build it, I'll steal it
 
2003-05-06 07:42:13 PM
Can we PLEASE get away from the 'great mind-sucking box' for a simple bathroom break ?!

Friggin' geeks....
 
2003-05-06 07:42:50 PM
Watch out for the "Poo screen of Death!"
 
2003-05-06 07:43:53 PM
Let me be the first to say that that headline brought the worst possible images to my head and it ruined the chances of me ever......doing ANYTHING.....ever again.
 
2003-05-06 07:45:44 PM
Dumb Idea- I mean, maybe surf the web at a coffee shop or
airport lounge or about a gazillion other places. but are you so desperate as to put up with the heat, the stink, and
the flies just to spend time in the fapcabin? think about it- how many times do you walk into one when it's "fresh as a daisy"? I mean, heck, I'd walk into one at night and tall guy I am, I'd probably whiz directly on the keyboard and screen thinking it was the little bucket thingie...

for some reason they're popular burn-down targets too...
 
2003-05-06 07:47:24 PM
Now Bill Gates really does give you the sh*ts....
 
2003-05-06 07:47:27 PM
What crap I submitted this link on 5/2/3 and it was rejected.

http://news.com.com/2100-1041_3-999509.html

Now it re-emerges 4 days later on yahoo...

BOGATA!

:)

Okay shoot me now.
 
2003-05-06 07:47:39 PM
Aquigley

Sweet! I was right! I tried to find confirmation on the net, but how to you google that?

Now for my acceptance speech:


Should I use the Michael Moore pretentious-have-something-to-say speech?




or
the Sally Field "oh-my-god,you-know-I-exist" speech?


 
2003-05-06 07:56:44 PM
Wow...just...wow.
 
2003-05-06 07:57:03 PM
 
2003-05-06 08:00:43 PM
Summer music festivals are the PERFECT place to debut these contraptions.

Alcohol + Broadband porta-shiatter = unlimited supply of screen cleaner

who wants to spend more than two minutes in one of these hell holes anyway?
 
2003-05-06 08:03:15 PM
Try the Cuba Gooding Jr. or the Jack Palance model.



They're
 
2003-05-06 08:03:48 PM
My life is now complete. Droppin a load and wankin to pron at the same time. Two things I always think of doing at the same time.


not..
 
2003-05-06 08:10:31 PM
no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,nooooooooooo!!!!

This is just a horribly disgusting idea. If anyone has ever been to a Phish festival you know exactly what I'm talking about.

I just hope MS put in an automatic emptying alarm that calls the sh#t suckers to empty it before it becomes the Mount Crapula...
 
2003-05-06 08:11:04 PM
Think of all the new sysadmin jobs for unemployed nerds.
 
2003-05-06 08:13:41 PM
I wish to keep Microsoft as far away from any bathroom I am using as is humanly possible.

The blue screen of death takes on a whole new meaning when it involves Microsoft anywhere near my dick. 8^D
 
2003-05-06 08:14:18 PM
Oh, dear. Microsoft product development team firings to commence in 3, 2, 1...
 
2003-05-06 08:14:43 PM
WIll it have USB ports for my web cam?
 
2003-05-06 08:19:40 PM
Well for one, who the hell sits on the toilet seats in the "lavatory" and secondly, if you're in there long enough to check your e-mail and surf the web at ASDL/LAN, or any high speed access, maybe you should go to the doctor and see what the problem is. Not to mention a plasma screen. Not that many people have high speed lines in their house, much less a swiveling plasma screen -- I've always hated and laughed at MS -- this just furthers that.

Hey, maybe next we can have wireless capabilities in the shower, and just make it waterproof. Anyone for it?
 
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