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(Yahoo)   Vatican concerned about not participating in excessive commercialization that generates hundreds of millions of dollars   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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4106 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2003 at 10:37 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-06 10:39:19 AM  
and what would you like on your popewich?
2003-05-06 10:41:14 AM  
The church is in it for the money? My fragile worldview is shattered and life no longer has meaning.
2003-05-06 10:41:41 AM  
So, wait, the Catholic church cares more about money than people? The hell you say!
2003-05-06 10:42:13 AM  
Didn't the over commercialization of the church lead to the Protestant Reformation?

What's next?
2003-05-06 10:43:04 AM  
I'm gonna get me some of those stigmatas and make me some money. A commissioner? Sounds like a racket to me. Suckers. Damn pilgrims anyway
2003-05-06 10:44:29 AM  
Next on Must See Pope TV.... Alter Boys on Spring Break
2003-05-06 10:44:55 AM  
A guy from Tyson Foods arranges to visit the Pope. After receiving the papal
blessing he whispers, "Your Eminence, we have a deal for you. If you change The
Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....' to 'give us this day our
daily chicken....' then we will donate $500 million dollars to the Church"

The Pope responds saying, "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord
and it must not be changed."

"Well," says the Tyson man, "we are prepared to donate $1 billion to the Church if
you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread....' to 'give
us this day our daily chicken...."

Again the Pope replies "That is impossible. The Prayer is the Word of the Lord and
it must not be changed".

Finally, the Tyson guy says, "This is our last offer. We will donate $5 billion to
the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily
bread....' to 'give us this day our daily chicken....'" and he leaves.

The next day the Pope meets with the College of Cardinals to say that he has good
news and some bad news. "The good news is that the Church has come into $5
billion." "The bad news is that we are losing The Wonder Bread Account!"
2003-05-06 10:45:05 AM  
I got this book in the mail a while ago, I think it was called the "golden book", and in it was a ton of letters "writen" by people who claimed that by giving money to this group all their prayers were answered. The moral was the more money you gave the more this group who distributed the book would pray. It made me laugh so hard. My random story for the day.
2003-05-06 10:46:06 AM  
Remember it's all about doing Gawd's work, and got needs a little extra money to build a new $3 million chapel.
2003-05-06 10:47:28 AM  
A lone blue automobile drives down a deserted road. When it reaches a tiny two-pump gas station, a man steps out. Seeing no one else around, he beeps his horn.

The door to the station pops open; three minimally-clothed young women step out as ZZ Top's "Legs" plays, sans vocals. After a bit of posing and wiggling, they go to work cleaning and gassing up his car, until the man notices a cross hanging around the neck of the blonde. A voice-over says, "The Catholic Church. We've made a few...changes."

Marge, Lisa, and Maggie sit on the couch, watching all of this on TV. "These Super Bowl commercials are weird," Lisa
2003-05-06 10:47:54 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

"I feel a great disturbance in the force"
2003-05-06 10:48:11 AM  
So, wait, the Catholic church cares more about money than people? The hell you say!

Read the article:
"Italian media said the Vatican was concerned about excessive commercialization surrounding the saint and possible financial irregularities in plans for a new, bigger church."

I'm no fan of the papestry, but let's face it, the Vatican at least claims thier concern is the abuse of an icon in order to bilk people out of money.
2003-05-06 10:48:23 AM  
We must welcome our new religious leader, the McPope

2003-05-06 10:49:04 AM  
Are they going to start selling indulgences again? I wonder how much a human soul goes for these days?
2003-05-06 10:49:27 AM  

[image from too old to be available]

Wiksza ilo Jesus zabawki!(1)

1)*More jesus toys!
2003-05-06 10:49:48 AM  
What pack of hypocrites the Vatican is, and I am Catholic (non-practicing due to shiat like this)
2003-05-06 10:50:29 AM  
Crotchrocket Slim $3.50
2003-05-06 10:51:22 AM  
Coming soon - Popeland! With long lines, over priced wine and tasteless crackers. Featuring such rides as The Kneeler and The Baptismal water ride.
2003-05-06 10:51:56 AM  
Hmm, filtering out specialized characters now?
2003-05-06 10:52:08 AM  
The God I know ain't short on cash, mister

2003-05-06 10:52:20 AM  
Bed Bath and Beyond's new "Pope on a Rope"
2003-05-06 10:52:24 AM  
purgatory must not be rakin it in like days of yore
2003-05-06 10:55:05 AM  
2003-05-06 10:56:24 AM  
jesus turns me on
2003-05-06 10:57:01 AM  

Call me a skeptic, but I don't believe that for a second. They saw an opportunity to take over this town and make a bundle of cash in the name of the church.
2003-05-06 10:57:57 AM  
You know that Pope fella, he's got some pretty good job security, although one senses his organization could use a little more cash.
2003-05-06 10:58:32 AM  

Think about it! Catholicism borrows heavily from paganism; They celebrate the pagan versions of the winter soltice and the first day of spring while thinly disguising them as the birth and death of Jesus Christ. They have an entire pantheon to worship: Mary(Hera) God(Zeus) The Saints(lesser deities) and they secretly worship Satan(Pluto).

The Vatican has scrolls that contain the true teachings of Jesus Christ locked away deep withing the Vaults. They then take the infomation and blaspheme it into a version that better enables the Elder Pagans to manipulate and mind rape the unwilling populace.

For the most part, Jack Chick is a full-bloodied Zionist but everything he's said about the Catholic Church is stone cold truth(although I doubt Christ will actually punish those innocents who were tricked into becomming unwilling servants of Satan. Those who are fully aware of the evils of Catholicism and continue to support it anyway are fair game).
2003-05-06 10:58:53 AM  
So what does the position of Pope pay?
2003-05-06 10:59:46 AM  
Are your religions offering you chances of getting into heaven for a price?

Then join TotalCatholicism. The premium line direct to God. Whereas others take the stairs to heaven, you can have an escalator. For a small fee, the chance to find out what God's real name is - hint, begins with D - the ability to turn wine into water, and to carry your TotalCatholicismcard. If you are in an accident, instead of taking you to hospital, people shall pray really really hard for you to get better.

Jesus and his twelve buddies were members of TotalCatholicism, why don't you?

Payment 155 monthly payments of $300, with a one off deposit of $4505 (non refundable) and a single final payment of $666.

Heaven/Hell - the choice is yours.

2003-05-06 11:02:08 AM  
I want a Pope on a Rope.
They do need to cash in.
2003-05-06 11:04:39 AM  
Chancerman: For a small fee, the chance to find out what God's real name is - hint, begins with D.

2003-05-06 11:05:11 AM  

You skeptic!!!

2003-05-06 11:05:46 AM  
So what does the position of Pope pay?

Nothing, but the perks are worth it. After all you speak for god, have your own city, own many of the greatest works of art and have possession of the largest porn collection in history.
2003-05-06 11:07:53 AM  
hahahahaha! I don't know what's better, that some trickster convinced everyone he had magical wounds on his hands and feet and that he was better than them all, or that a cult built around a man who never existed in order to milk cash from the populace and avoid any real work while living a royal lifestyle wants to control the shrine to the trickster.

oh wait... baaaaaaaaa-aaa it's bad to question the baaaah-aaaah church.
2003-05-06 11:08:30 AM  
RSTStop780, on that topic, let's let the naive know the stunning truth. The protestant reformation happened because the catholic authorities were selling foregiveness!! That's right, folks! Want to screw a few maidens? Just save up a few farthings, and go pay of the priest, God will look the other way :-)
2003-05-06 11:08:43 AM  
send an email to: popey­jo­h­n­p­a­u­l2­nd[nospam-﹫-backwards]liamto­h­*c­o­m and your first payments, and you will find out God's first name.

2003-05-06 11:09:30 AM  
When asked to comment, Il Papa said "yo yo yo, iss like dis, y'all - if it don't make dollaz, it don't make sense, knowmsayin', gizzle? West side world wide!!! Holla atcha boy!"
2003-05-06 11:09:50 AM  
voice over One's the Vicar of the Son of God; one's a simian on the brink. And they're cops.

The Pope and the Chimp.

coming soon to the WB
2003-05-06 11:11:18 AM  
Actually, the popes does get a salary, but the Vatican keeps it secret.
2003-05-06 11:12:41 AM  
Come get your original crucifix piece.

You'll be crazy not to shop at Crazy Jesus'

My prices are so low, they slip through my hands.

The money I save on bread and fish, I can give to you big discounts.
2003-05-06 11:13:23 AM  
I bought a Jebus action figure. Mostly because then I would always win in action figure battles.

Other person: "My GI Joe has a super powered laser taser gun than can blast through any bunker!"

Me: "My Jebus is God! I win!"
2003-05-06 11:16:12 AM  
"Padre Pio, who was made a saint last year, is big business."

Yea and a tax free big business at that. Im wondering when the head honchos of the Enrons of the world will start in with de tax free jebus...

If you go to church your a moron HAVE A NICE DAY!
2003-05-06 11:17:45 AM  
Actually, the popes does get a salary, but the Vatican keeps it secret.

I didn't know that. What exactly does he need a salary for though he gets everything he could possibly want for free.
2003-05-06 11:19:04 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-06 11:29:40 AM  
Thales:- For all those little personal items he wouldn't want to appear on the official Vatican books. Choirboy Monthly etc. etc.
2003-05-06 11:35:58 AM  
What they need is to redo litergical music to popular the Vatican Rag
2003-05-06 11:37:51 AM  
Think of the things they could do with that money... choose any charity give to the poor. We've noted their feelings, we've noted their motives. This isn't blood money, it's a fee, it's a fee, it's a fee nothing more.
2003-05-06 11:38:52 AM  
Towering: Excellent JCS reference!
2003-05-06 11:42:11 AM  
Yeah, but I screwed up the last line.

It's a fee nothing, fee nothing, fee nothing more.

Must... brush up... on showtunes!
2003-05-06 11:59:39 AM  
I heard a story about 12 alter boys in NYC... 11 of them were molested. The 12th, who wasn't, was in counseling because he lives with the horrible question of "what, I'm not good enough?!"

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