Dog was unemployment checks?.

dreaming of steak (new window)

/that vid makes me laff and laff everytime

Oh, sure... He gets NO credit for the 11 years he was there without allowing a burglary.

bravo subby. i lol very loudly!

If the manager of the pub is upset about the dog sleeping through the burglary, how about the fact that the manager has a room on premises and he ALSO slept through it?

Seriously, a geriatric dog was the only security system? What a dolt.

He's 11 years old now and he's getting on - getting blind and deaf.

Can dogs play pinball?

Say hello to Skully, my worthless guard dog.



I always thought "Man, that would be great if someone broke into my place some night. I have guns, am well trained, and Skully would wake us up." Then, after the GF and I drank 2 bottles of wine (well, mostly I drank 2 bottles of wine :) and went to bed, someone DID burglarize my apartment. The three of us were asleep in the next room, Skully likes to work her way under the blankets and snuggle, so she didn't do shiat. Hell, she might have woke up and went to get petted by the burglar for all I know. Woke up the next day to my GF's purse gone, my wallet gone, and my desk rifled through. Lost perhaps $1000 in cash and stuff (Coach purses are expensive, apparently)

Worthless guard dog, but she does have a pretty sweet disposition. If I ever get another dog, it will be a small, very alert one.

Speedofdarkness: This sounds like an inside job. I bet that dog get a third of the take a steak.

FTFY

I bet Taz has to wear the Cone of Shame now.

/Squirrel!

he should pay back the owner every shilling

Harry Freakstorm: Yeah. I used to work security. Eleven years I gave them. A day off? Never. One night, I swear, I closed my eyes for just a second and the place gets robbed.

They fired me so quick I didn't have time to piss on the boss' desk one last time. Anyhoo, a few weeks later, I got this job. It's not too bad. When the jerky goes bad, I get to eat it. Hang on. That piece of jerky just went bad.

Let me get this customer real quick. Six packs of smokes? Marlborough, Cool, Camel, Laramie Slims, Newport and Salem. Man, you must like to smoke. I need to check your ID. "West Side Middle School"? You must be a teacher. That's a cool job, man. Yeah. I can accept three dollar bills. If that's what the schools pay you in. Here's your change.

Like I was saying. This is a way better job. ..

NICE!

"Not News: Security guard fired. News: For sleeping on the job. Fark: It was a dog "

Subby, if you think that's news you've obviously got no clue about security guards!

CygnusDarius 2010-04-13 12:41:34 PM
Dog was unemployment checks?.


If you say so ...

My dog woke me up one morning about 3 AM with her insistent barking. I went outside to see what was the matter, and she was barking at the police. Somebody had broken into the house next door, and it didn't bother her at all. She didn't like cops, though.

He's my dog, I'll do it.

Harry Freakstorm: Yeah. I used to work security. Eleven years I gave them. A day off? Never. One night, I swear, I closed my eyes for just a second and the place gets robbed.

They fired me so quick I didn't have time to piss on the boss' desk one last time. Anyhoo, a few weeks later, I got this job. It's not too bad. When the jerky goes bad, I get to eat it. Hang on. That piece of jerky just went bad.

Let me get this customer real quick. Six packs of smokes? Marlborough, Cool, Camel, Laramie Slims, Newport and Salem. Man, you must like to smoke. I need to check your ID. "West Side Middle School"? You must be a teacher. That's a cool job, man. Yeah. I can accept three dollar bills. If that's what the schools pay you in. Here's your change.

Like I was saying. This is a way better job. ..

lol....thats cute

That dog wants roofie steak.
/hangover did it.

Better than my dog. He would have helped carry stuff out.

Heh.
Thats why I have a team of guard dogs.
One is a lab, who is big, with a big bark, and will probably lick them senseless if she can knock them down to her level.
The other is a Jack Russel who is the terminator of bark (She. Simply. Will. Not. Stop. Ever.) once her dander is up.
She wakes the lab, the lab wakes me (and I wake momma).

So, how does this guy know the dog slept through it?

I'm betting the theft was done by regulars who the dog knew well and trusted.

I_Am_Weasel: Blind & deaf!?

He shouldn't be guarding pubs, he should be umpiring MLB games.

Or playing pinball.

snake_beater: I_Am_Weasel: Blind & deaf!?

He shouldn't be guarding pubs, he should be umpiring MLB games.

Or playing pinball.

tricycleracer: pinball

You're late.

That's pretty ruff.

Zotfripper: ON FULL ALERT

Boy, I recognize that attack posture.
When Shasha and Sheiba are poised like that I'm extremely careful, (where I roll my chair, or step)

GCD: He's my dog, I'll do it.

You magnificent SOB. That made me LOL in my cube.

Loves this thread. My lab was a Seeing Eye dog - no guard dog there.

"HI, you got any food?"

animalmagnet: My dog woke me up one morning about 3 AM with her insistent barking. I went outside to see what was the matter, and she was barking at the police. Somebody had broken into the house next door, and it didn't bother her at all. She didn't like cops, though.

Your dog is smarter than you think. What she knew is that the burglar was a police officer. They robbed the place whilst they were actually on duty. Then the officer hid their loot and then, they responded to the call of their own robbery. Thus diverting suspicion from them.

The only one who knew the truth of their evil deed was your dog.

EZ Writer: Oh, sure... He gets NO credit for the 11 years he was there without allowing a burglary.

That's the way it works, man. Screw up once and you're out on your ass.

3 G's: So, how does this guy know the dog slept through it?

I'm betting the theft was done by regulars who the dog knew well and trusted.

I'm betting it was the cleaner. FTFA (emphasis mine): 'They were obviously very tidy because the cleaner had been in and cleaned the pub and hadn't realised anything had happened,' he said.

Plus it still keeps with your line of thinking it was somebody who the dog knew well and trusted.

Awww he's an old pup. He needs snausages and a nice fire to snooze by.

almostsane: EZ Writer: Oh, sure... He gets NO credit for the 11 years he was there without allowing a burglary.

This!

spacechicken170am: //would probably help you carry my stuff out the door
//useless guard dog
//excellent foot warmer

He looks very similar to my foot warmer/door stop: APBT??

Yeah she's APBT. She has some quirks. She will flip out and bark everytime a door bell rings on TV. When the door bell rings in real life...nothing. Everyone keeps telling me she's very small but she's 40 pounds. I think they must be thinking of the Am Staffs. 40 pounds is right in the middle of the min/max weights for her breed. Is your doorstop male or female and how much does it weigh?

My protectors (she's 7 months old now):