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(AP)   Telefarketers get wake up call from Supreme Court. States instructed to serve fraud lawsuits only during dinner hours   ( divider line
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7814 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2003 at 5:28 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

43 Comments     (+0 »)
2003-05-05 01:09:03 PM  
Next they ought to go after some of these so-called "charities"--especially in the entertainment expense category.
2003-05-05 03:11:41 PM  
Before I left for work, I answered all telemarketer calls to my house with "Hola! Bueno Cinqo de Maio!" You'd be surprised how quick they are to give up.

/surrenders to spanish spelling
2003-05-05 05:31:36 PM  
If you get a chick telemarketer, ask what color panties she has on. Phone call over. =)
2003-05-05 05:32:04 PM  
I always enjoy trying to buy their product with things lying around my house; a bag of sugar for instance.
2003-05-05 05:33:45 PM  
wake up call, hahahaha
2003-05-05 05:34:02 PM  
I liked getting telemarketing calls for siding when I lived in an apartment complex. I always asked for a free estimate.
2003-05-05 05:34:15 PM  
Moonman9j9 - works for guys too.

/asks in a deep rumbly voice, "So, what color are your panties?"
2003-05-05 05:34:30 PM  
Awesome headline. *golf clap*....
2003-05-05 05:36:57 PM  
2003-05-05 05:38:01 PM  
this is dumb.
2003-05-05 05:42:36 PM  
I like convincing them that I would LOVE to purchse their product/give to their cause/sign up for their credit card, but that I have limited abilities to communicate and send them money while incarcerated.
2003-05-05 05:43:31 PM  
Henchman: my dad used to live on a houseboat, and he told them to come on down one day...the term he was was actually, "man, I've been waiting for you guys to call..come on down, I need siding on everything"....they were pissed when they got there...stupid telemarketers.
2003-05-05 05:43:55 PM  
This is dumb? You spent time to post in a 'dumb' thread about how dumb it is? That's dumb.

Oh wait....uh oh.....
2003-05-05 05:44:51 PM  
I always ask the guy to hang on a second and hand the phone to my four year old (wispering to him that it is Barney)

Hhhello, Blaney? Blaney?
Uhhh....Could you put your Dad back on?
Hello sir?
Blaney, Blaney wanna see my train?
Your Dad. Can I speak with your Dad?

2003-05-05 05:45:53 PM  
The recording I heard, I think it was on CrankYankers, where the guy pretends to be crapping when the chick calls is hilarious.
2003-05-05 05:46:20 PM  
If you get a lot of telemarketers calling I highly recommend you place a phone near your computer and put shorcuts to a few different soundboards on your desktop.

I love using arnolds soundboard and saying "STOP IT!" over and over until they hang up.
2003-05-05 05:48:33 PM  
If the fund-raiser lies or misleads about where the contributions go, states can take them to court.

Here's some advice: never, ever give money to some scumbag solicitor for an organization you've never heard of who calls you out of the blue for a donation. They almost invariably have 'overhead' costs of 90-95%. if you want to have some fun, pretend to be willing to donate, but insist on sending it to them in the mail. The really shady ones will want to send a messenger or use some means other than the postal service, because they want to avoid charges of mail fraud.

If you feel the need to make a contribution to a cause, you pick the charity yourself. Even then, check to see how much of your money actually gos to the cause and how much gets eaten up in overhead. If it seems too high, use the money for beer instead. At least you'll be helping employ a brewer.
2003-05-05 05:48:51 PM  
Ever since Iput my number on the no-call list here in MA, I haven't gotten one call from these numbskulls. However there is a part of me that misses farking with these guys.....
2003-05-05 05:49:30 PM  
Do you know who I am?

2003-05-05 05:49:54 PM  
"Hello sir, how are you today?"

"Alright I guess, but now the phone's all greasy and I'm losing my erection..."
2003-05-05 05:51:25 PM  
My favorite is right when I get the call, have someone ring the doorbell, then say, excuse me I have to get the door, then put the phone down and check it in a half hour or so.


/X-TelaFarketer for 7 years!
2003-05-05 05:51:54 PM  
A good start.
2003-05-05 05:55:15 PM  
I don't even waste time harrassing these dolts. About a half-second into their pitch I recognize it and hang up.
2003-05-05 05:56:39 PM  
Egad. I wonder how the lawyer who represents this company sleeps at night.

On second thought... no, I don't wonder. I already know, but the knowledge depresses me: he sleeps just the same way that the operators of the fraudulent charity do, or that guy who kept girls locked up in his basement.
2003-05-05 05:59:20 PM  
I had one asshat that kept calling me- "I'm really surprised that you haven't called me back"... "I can save
you this much money on your mortgage, just be sure to have
your financial statements when you call back"... Where they
got my number I have no idea. So I call them back, let them get into their pitch, and I say "stop talking and
listen to me". "yes?" "I want you to remove my phone number from your list, and I do not want my number passed
on to anyone else. Is that clear?"... "now, I want you to repeat to me what I just told you". Very good. *click*
2003-05-05 06:01:54 PM  
Holy cow, I just got a phone call here at work from a telemarketer...Malinois, that line worked beautifully, I don't think "Alison" will ever be the same again.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-05-05 06:07:53 PM  
What Jjorsett said. This decision doesn't kick in until telemarketers make a provably false statement and you rely on that statement to give money. They can still solicit donations and skim 85% off the top -- as long as you don't ask or they don't lie when you ask about their overhead.
2003-05-05 06:12:57 PM  
We used to get telemarketing calls on the main line to the house. But the call screener put a stop to that. On my business line, simply answering "Thank you for calling XXX Security Services, how may I direct your call?" gets rid of most. For the really persistent, I put them on hold for a while I "locate" Mr. XXX. If they survive that, I ask them which credit card they will be using to pay for the call. Of course, we don't take THAT card.
2003-05-05 06:14:24 PM  
So now it's "free speech" to beg for money over the farking phone as long as it's not dinner hours?

I quit getting calls since MN law against telefarkingjeers went into effect I hope NOTHING changes.
2003-05-05 06:45:18 PM  
Did someone say Dimaio?
[image from too old to be available]

05-05-03 06:14:24 PM MinnesotaJack

So now it's "free speech" to beg for money over the farking phone as long as it's not dinner hours?

I'm guessing the court has decided that charitable solicitations are "political speech" and are thus afraid to limit it. The article says the court upheld thsi a couple times but it doesn't say in what cases. Anyone know?
2003-05-05 06:49:28 PM  
I'm not quick or creative enough to come up with clever ways of playing with telemarketers.

I just hang up.
2003-05-05 07:05:21 PM  
You just hang up??? But that doesn't take 10 minutes or infuriate the telemarketer! How inefficient.
2003-05-05 08:38:05 PM  
The best thing you can do is to talk to them and make them think you're really going to buy their shiatty product.

Then after taking up their time, hang up.
2003-05-05 09:04:46 PM  
If I got a telemarketer call I'd normally just click the button and hang up in that little delay from the autodialer until they pick up. However, if I was in the "right" mood, I keep asking them to repeat themselves or talk aimlessly about the weather. I used to let them talk to my dog until he started chewing on the phone.

Now, I only use a cell phone and I haven't gotten a telemarketer in almost a year or so.
2003-05-05 09:11:29 PM  
You know that ear-piercing screechlike tone you get when you get when you dial a nonexistent number?

Step 1. Get .wav of screech.
Step 2. Amplify sound of screech.
Step 3. Telemarketer calls. Conversation as follows:

TM: "Could I interest you in blah blah mortgage blah blah save blah blah"
You: (whisper) "Do you believe in annoyance karma?"
TM: "What?"
You: (even quieter whisper) "Do you believe in annoyance karma?"
TM: "I'm sorry, I can't hear you."

This is where you play the .wav....
2003-05-06 12:33:02 AM  
I need a way to shock people through the phone. I'd put my name on every list out there and never leave my house if I had something that did that.
2003-05-06 12:34:14 AM  
Telemarketers get paid by how long they keep you on the phone, methinks, and that doesn't start until 20 seconds or so in. So if you hang up right when you hear them, that'll really screw 'em over. But then again, that could just be heresay.
2003-05-06 02:58:49 AM  
Got a telemarketing call the other day..."This is so-and-so Construction Co., we understand you own your home...."

To which I said, "We don't OWN our home." Click.

Last time I checked we were renting.... :)
2003-05-06 03:01:09 AM  
Or how about my mom, whose house is paid for? She gets these calls asking if she'd like a lower mortgage rate, to which she asks, "Can you go lower than zero?"

I said to her, I think if they go lower than zero they'd be giving you money...ask for it!
2003-05-06 04:01:10 AM  
i usually just hang up as well. or yell at them do remove me from their lists and never call back again in a very angry, about to go over the edge tone, usually only that if they don't get the hint the frist time or two i just hang up
2003-05-06 09:48:29 AM  
I telemarket them. As soon as they ask "How are you today?"

I launch into.

"Im glad you called, would you be interested in making more money from the comfort of your own home? Of corse you would! So for just $29.99 I can send you a package that outlines how you can take control of your life and earning potential. Now I know what your thinking, this is just a scam. But remember you called me. So you wouldn't have called unless you really wanted to change your life. Now if I could just get your name, address, phone number, and major Credit Card number we can get started with your future."

I've never made it through Wout getting hung up on.
2003-05-06 12:13:47 PM  
One time a guy from my school's alumni association called begging for a donation. I talked to him like he was a real human being, asked him if he was getting paid enough to do this job, were people being rude, how's school, etc., and then finally told him about a different on-campus job he should go try to get that paid as well but was less annoying to others. Last I heard he was going for it. :)
2003-05-06 11:46:00 PM  

That's priceless!

"Thank goodness you finally called me back! I am Mr. Ojawally Kagume from Nigeria and I really need your bank account number so that I can transfer the $30,000,000 into it! And I'll be needing your Social Securtity Number as well!"
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