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(PennLive)   Since everybody lies about how much they drink, a test that can determine that from the proteins in your blood is being developed by scientists who aren't being very helpful at all   (pennlive.com) divider line 69
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1835 clicks; posted to Geek » on 12 Apr 2010 at 12:50 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-04-12 10:44:39 AM
I hope all you atheists who talk about how great and wonderful science is will remember this the next time you go drinking. You truly are creating a monster.
 
2010-04-12 10:45:50 AM
My god, what have we done?
 
2010-04-12 10:58:08 AM
In some ways, universal health care with accessible records that all doctors can see will be a really good thing. No more doctor shopping and they'll have tests like this that you can't hide from.
 
2010-04-12 10:59:39 AM
Screw you, science. Screw you.
 
2010-04-12 11:07:49 AM
Because drinking and driving are such great fun.
 
2010-04-12 11:09:00 AM
I never lie about how much I drink... I just can't remember.
 
2010-04-12 11:11:40 AM
Oh and:
In monkeys, they have detected changes in 17 blood proteins that correlate with levels of alcohol consumption.

They can differentiate between no alcohol, one or two drinks per day, and at least six drinks per day.


They fed six drinks a day to monkeys?
WTF ?

I always have to pay for mine
 
2010-04-12 11:25:01 AM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: I hope all you atheists who talk about how great and wonderful science is will remember this the next time you go drinking. You truly are creating a monster.

I'm an atheist... and this won't bother me at all because I don't consume alcohol. In my whole life I've probably had less than a typical farker has in a single weekend out on the town.
 
2010-04-12 11:33:46 AM
2wolves: Because drinking and driving are such great fun.

This has nothing to do with that. It looks like they're developing a test that can tell them your drinking habits, not just how much alcohol is in your system.
 
2010-04-12 11:48:25 AM
This isn't good. I'm not thinking about myself. I'm worried about the doctor having a cardiac arrest after reading my test results.
 
2010-04-12 11:58:01 AM
IrateShadow: 2wolves: Because drinking and driving are such great fun.

This has nothing to do with that. It looks like they're developing a test that can tell them your drinking habits, not just how much alcohol is in your system.


Hit and killed someone and run, person gets picked up 36 hours later...

It may very well have some bearing.
 
2010-04-12 12:05:53 PM
I RTFA and I didn't see any mention of higher alcohol content affecting these proteins differently. Something like this would be important for *someone* who routinely drinks, say, 22 oz. bottles of Double Bastard Ale or other high-alcohol beer.
 
2010-04-12 12:18:29 PM
2wolves: Hit and killed someone and run, person gets picked up 36 hours later...

It may very well have some bearing.


Article doesn't really make it sound like that, but I guess we'll see what it's like if they get it working. I'd be far more concerned about something like this working its way into corporate drug screen policies.
 
2010-04-12 12:36:00 PM
Talon: Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: I hope all you atheists who talk about how great and wonderful science is will remember this the next time you go drinking. You truly are creating a monster.

I'm an atheist... and this won't bother me at all because I don't consume alcohol. In my whole life I've probably had less than a typical farker has in a single weekend out on the town.


Ditto. Last time I had alcohol was before some of your drunk farkers were born.

For the record. I don't smoke or swear. I'm boring. BORING.

No comment about porn though.
 
2010-04-12 12:43:00 PM
I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?
 
2010-04-12 12:52:33 PM
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2010-04-12 12:52:48 PM
Other tests can detect chemical changes that result from heavy drinking. But those changes have other possible causes

So it may determine the number of drinks you have, except when it doesn't.

I can't wait for businesses to start using it.
 
2010-04-12 12:57:09 PM
Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

The way this country works, there's already some venture capital put into developing equipment to sell to law enforcement agencies. Now you'll see the "prolific drinker" placed right next to the "promiscuous rape victim" as a case of guilt by habit.
 
2010-04-12 12:57:23 PM
If you convert # of drinks/week to # of days/week of drinking I go from sounding like a one man frat party to a normal well adjusted 30 something year old male.



Yeah whatever, you can judge me but I've got a closet with 14 gallons of beer in it. I'll just GO BACK INTO MY CLOSET AND CRY!
 
2010-04-12 12:58:54 PM
Ashelth: If you convert # of drinks/week to # of days/week of drinking I go from sounding like a one man frat party to a normal well adjusted 30 something year old male.



Yeah whatever, you can judge me but I've got a closet with 14 gallons of beer in it. I'll just GO BACK INTO MY CLOSET AND CRY!


It's 2010, it's time to come out of the closet.
 
2010-04-12 12:59:01 PM
This reminds me when I got busted for drinking at college (i was over 21 but we had a dry campus) and I was the only one that told them how much I had drank that night. Everyone else was like, I had one sir and I, being the truthful idiot I am, said that I had 4 in the hour our get together had started. Needless to say I got the most campus service time (aka be slave labor around campus).

I remember the girls reaction when I told her this "WHOA, I have always heard you should have 1 drink an hour". My response was "Thats if your trying to stay sober"
 
2010-04-12 12:59:57 PM
Oh great. Who decided that 6 drinks in a day makes you an alcoholic? If that's the case, why do they sell six beers in a pack?

And if I only drink on the weekend, but still drink the whole sixer, does that count too?

Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

I wonder who will be the first to abuse this little test. Will it be employers, the legal system, or insurance companies looking for more recision criteria?
 
2010-04-12 01:00:25 PM
Ashelth:
Yeah whatever, you can judge me but I've got a closet with 14 gallons of beer in it. I'll just GO BACK INTO MY CLOSET AND CRY!


So. If I have this correct. You'll suck back a few THEN come out of the closet?

/Set up. I merely had to volley.
 
2010-04-12 01:03:06 PM
So, I picked up these blue cheese stuffed olives this weekend.

Sadly, that was about all I ate for dinner on Sat night. note to self: the proper food to drink ratio is NOT "one martini's worth of gin for every three olives".
 
2010-04-12 01:04:08 PM
Oh good, another thing for some biatch ass employer to test for regularly so that they don't have to reward good on the job performance.

My home life = none of your damn business. That means you Mr. Employer and you Mr. Senator, and definitely you Mr. Police Officer.
 
2010-04-12 01:12:20 PM
PirateKing: Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

I wonder who will be the first to abuse this little test. Will it be employers, the legal system, or insurance companies looking for more recision criteria?


If I had to guess, my money would be on law enforcement. the MADD nut balls will gladly form up to tell us about how it'll save us all from ourselves and that the constitution really shouldn't apply to DUI tests.
 
2010-04-12 01:13:25 PM
So do they test your ethanol for blood if you're irish?
 
2010-04-12 01:14:55 PM
IdBeCrazyIf: So do they test your ethanol for blood if you're irish?

hey, not all of us are drunks! some of us prefer coffee instead of beer.
 
2010-04-12 01:16:44 PM
Weaver95: PirateKing: Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

I wonder who will be the first to abuse this little test. Will it be employers, the legal system, or insurance companies looking for more recision criteria?

If I had to guess, my money would be on law enforcement. the MADD nut balls will gladly form up to tell us about how it'll save us all from ourselves and that the constitution really shouldn't apply to DUI tests.


Ah man, you just raised my blood pressure by a good 30%. Coming home from a show this past weekend I drove through not one, but two of those farking checkpoints.

Illegal search and seizure assholes. It means something, despite the fact that you paid off a few judges to get a favorable ruling some decades ago.
 
2010-04-12 01:19:03 PM
Spaced Cowboy:

Illegal search and seizure assholes. It means something, despite the fact that you paid off a few judges to get a favorable ruling some decades ago.


I've worked nights and weekends for years - and every holiday weekend I have to run the gauntlet of DUI checkpoints as I drive home from a 12 hour shift. And it can add up to an hour to my commute if they pick you out of the line up for additional inspections.
 
2010-04-12 01:22:03 PM
Now they will look at blood from recovering alcoholics to find out if the same holds true among humans.

Now, this I find interesting - if they're "recovering alcoholics," does that imply that these proteins can take a really long time (months or more) to recover if you stop drinking? I mean, if I knew I was having a really important blood test, I could go dry for a week or two, but if the change to your blood chemistry is long-term, would that really help?
 
2010-04-12 01:26:58 PM
Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

I hope really soon. Personally, I think that testing people for what they do in their off time is complete and utter bullshiat. However, businesses have been asserting the right to fire folks for smoking weed on the weekends since the tests were invented. Now we have business asserting the right to fire people for smoking, even on their off hours. The fact is as long as it only effects people most of society despises it will continue on unabated. Being that there are far more drinkers then tobacco and weed smokers (sure there is some overlap), this might be the first step to help get businesses out of your personal time.

FWIW I have no problems with on the spot testing after an accident, however the tests should be for intoxication level, not whether you have consumed a substance in the last 30 days.

/Used to smoke weed a lot, not so much now.
//Used to be a drinker, but am now a teetotaler by fark standards.
 
2010-04-12 01:31:44 PM
Talon: Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: I hope all you atheists who talk about how great and wonderful science is will remember this the next time you go drinking. You truly are creating a monster.

I'm an atheist... and this won't bother me at all because I don't consume alcohol. In my whole life I've probably had less than a typical farker has in a single weekend out on the town.


::slow confused applause::
 
2010-04-12 01:32:22 PM
Weaver95: hey, not all of us are drunks! some of us prefer coffee instead of beer.

I thought it was just a dash of coffee over the whiskey? ;)
 
2010-04-12 01:33:44 PM
"if they're "recovering alcoholics," does that imply that these proteins can take a really long time (months or more) to recover if you stop drinking"

in TFA they stated that this is not known at this time without further human based testing

This will be abused the second it becomes available.

/doesn't drink
 
2010-04-12 01:35:55 PM
Am I the only one that thought the headline was written by a drunken subby?
 
2010-04-12 01:37:03 PM
TFA notes that the researchers supposedly do not know how long it would take for these marker proteins to wash out of your system. I wonder what it will look like on this test if someone has say, 7 beers one day of the week and teetotals the rest.

/My guess is on insurance companies picking up the test first-- any excuse to make more money.
 
2010-04-12 01:37:10 PM
IdBeCrazyIf: Weaver95: hey, not all of us are drunks! some of us prefer coffee instead of beer.

I thought it was just a dash of coffee over the whiskey? ;)


I prefer rum.
 
2010-04-12 01:38:34 PM
Weaver95: IdBeCrazyIf: Weaver95: hey, not all of us are drunks! some of us prefer coffee instead of beer.

I thought it was just a dash of coffee over the whiskey? ;)

I prefer rum.


www.derok.net
 
2010-04-12 01:46:13 PM
I don't drink any more.

I don't drink any less either.
 
2010-04-12 01:47:31 PM
www.blogcdn.com
 
2010-04-12 01:54:20 PM
We have a turd in the punch bowl........
 
2010-04-12 02:11:15 PM
IdBeCrazyIf: So do they test your ethanol for blood if you're irish?

The Irish are exempt. Shane MacGowan's stubborn habit of continuing to breathe proves that alcohol does not negatively affect Irish health.
 
2010-04-12 02:18:21 PM
This would actually be insanely awesome for people on certain medications which make it 'hard' to get drunk, but do nothing to make getting alcohol poisoning any harder.

Being able to prick a finger and test blood alcohol levels, like a diabetic does for blood sugar levels, would be excellent, not only for people on above said medications, but for people in general and for law enforcement in particular. Instead of having to take someone arrested for DWI/DUI to a hospital to have blood drawn, a (properly trained {HA HA! OH GOD, THAT'S FUNNY}) officer could draw the blood at the scene, for a more accurate reading on whether or not they were 'legally' drunk.
 
2010-04-12 02:26:17 PM
I took the test, but instead of just giving the results to my doctor it decided to play "Eight Days a Week". Apparently we have AI advanced enough to make the machine a cheeky bastard.
 
2010-04-12 02:32:36 PM
I never drink alcohol, so I don't care.
 
2010-04-12 02:52:37 PM
I_Am_Weasel: Ashelth:
Yeah whatever, you can judge me but I've got a closet with 14 gallons of beer in it. I'll just GO BACK INTO MY CLOSET AND CRY!

So. If I have this correct. You'll suck back a few THEN come out of the closet?

/Set up. I merely had to volley.


Its even worse since I use 22oz brown bottles. I likes em big.
 
2010-04-12 02:53:50 PM
Weaver95: I wonder how long it'll be before someone starts abusing this little test?

Just as soon as MADD gets their grubby little fascist hands on it.

/fark MADD and everybody who supports them.
//I hope you all get ass cancer
 
2010-04-12 02:54:25 PM
I drink so much that the liquor stores call me and ask if I'm okay when I don't come by.
 
2010-04-12 03:03:23 PM
I'm curious about what those proteins do and how.
If any of them ameliorate alcohol damage then maybe we can artificially increase them and reduce the effect of hangovers or other harmful effects.
 
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