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(Independent)   Why Gandhi could never have been a farker: 1) No fapping. "One who conserves his vital fluid acquires unfailing power."   (independent.co.uk) divider line 130
    More: Weird, sexual behaviors, Gandhi, truth, naked women, Manu Ginobili, Southern Africa, guilt, Hindus  
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3825 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2010 at 12:45 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



130 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-04-08 10:38:03 AM
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode?

Also, Gandhi said he was celibate for most of his life, but it turns out he had a ton of mistresses. So take this with a grain of salt.
 
2010-04-08 10:42:22 AM
img404.imageshack.us

Approves.
 
2010-04-08 10:45:09 AM
I can't fap to this?
 
2010-04-08 10:47:16 AM
"Would you get that camera out of here so I can bang these huers? Thank you, cum again."

www.independent.co.uk
 
2010-04-08 10:52:12 AM
Baloney. If you'd hook up a generator to my right hand, you'd see real power.

I'm fapping right now and selling the excess power back to the utility company.
 
2010-04-08 10:58:10 AM
Came in for General Ripper.

/leaving happy
 
2010-04-08 10:59:52 AM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

Came here to mention Precious Bodily Fluids
 
2010-04-08 11:00:55 AM
SnakeLee: Also, Gandhi said he was celibate for most of his life, but it turns out he had a ton of mistresses. So take this with a grain of salt.

I see what you did there.
 
2010-04-08 11:02:47 AM
If I didn't jerk it at least eight times a day, no female, human or animal, would be safe.
 
2010-04-08 11:05:35 AM
Gandhi had a great idea that India should be free, and he had the dedication and brains to make it happen. That's more than enough to make him worthy of rememberance as a great leader. The personality cult that grew up around him hasn't done anyone a lick of good, though. He had a lot of less meritorious ideas than independence, and the implementation of some of these by his followers retarded India's growth significantly and led it to a wasteful association with the USSR.

So, in conclusion, keep jacking off.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2010-04-08 11:18:23 AM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

Came expecting, leaving satisfied. (Not in that way, mind you.)
 
2010-04-08 11:19:23 AM
When I conserve my vital fluids too long, my personality takes a turn for the worst.
 
2010-04-08 11:23:57 AM
"What are you saving it for? What is it like wine, you gotta let it age? Blow it the fark out, it'll grow back".

images.bluebeat.com
 
2010-04-08 11:41:09 AM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

god willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids
 
2010-04-08 11:51:34 AM
Huh.

If that's really the case, you'd think he would have gotten bigger eventually....
 
2010-04-08 11:52:18 AM
Conserving my fluids makes me feel and look blue.
 
2010-04-08 11:54:23 AM
If "unfailing power" means "swollen balls", then yes, yes you will.
 
2010-04-08 12:16:46 PM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

Came for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2010-04-08 12:47:30 PM
Will someone please start an earthquake thread. Hmkaethx
 
2010-04-08 12:48:41 PM
n3t.net
 
2010-04-08 12:48:53 PM
Wasn't Gandhi a notorious womanizer?
 
2010-04-08 12:49:12 PM
I don't avoid women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.
 
2010-04-08 12:49:41 PM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

Over in 2.
 
2010-04-08 12:51:14 PM
Proving even as great a man as Ghandi could be stupid about some things
 
2010-04-08 12:51:39 PM
Dead for Tax Reasons: Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

god willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural... fluids


Came for the Dr. Strangelove reference, leaving satisfied

/a guy could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff
 
2010-04-08 12:51:49 PM
Well... GIS "massive balls" and there's nothing really safe for work that I can post, here
 
2010-04-08 12:51:50 PM
lh6.ggpht.com
 
2010-04-08 12:52:10 PM
This is equivalent to saying "Walking through molten lava gives you the power of flight", Can't be proven, because step one has/will never been done.

I am prety sure step three is still profit though.
 
2010-04-08 12:52:11 PM
Who got bored enough with the universe to think to check into Gandhi's sex life?
 
2010-04-08 12:52:30 PM
farm3.static.flickr.com

Remember your favorite holy man every time you fish out some change.
 
2010-04-08 12:53:23 PM
I like to think of it as a pressure release valve, like on a hot water heater or pressure cooker.
 
2010-04-08 12:55:29 PM
OK. I'll try it what he suggests. For three days and I'll report back.
 
2010-04-08 12:55:51 PM
The Penn and Teller episode was pretty good, he sure loved giving young girls enemas.
 
2010-04-08 12:56:40 PM
"vital fluid" is likely ojas
"unfailing power" is likey virya or tejas (May need to add the word ayurveda to the last one to get info)

Google as you will. The wikipedia articles aren't that great though.

/NOT a celebate
//far from it
///Just putting my degree to use
 
2010-04-08 12:57:31 PM
That's why I only drink distilled water, or rain water, and only pure-grain alcohol.
 
2010-04-08 12:58:26 PM
jehovahs witness protection: Conserving my fluids makes me feel and look blue.

you ejaculate windshield washer fluid?
 
2010-04-08 12:59:44 PM
So no one's mentioned this?

While in Bengal to see what comfort he could offer in times of inter-communal violence in the run-up to independence, Gandhi called for his 18-year-old grandniece Manu to join him - and sleep with him. "We both may be killed by the Muslims," he told her, "and must put our purity to the ultimate test, so that we know that we are offering the purest of sacrifices, and we should now both start sleeping naked."

"The world's about to end, so we'd better sleep together". I guess the only way that play works is if you're a cult leader.
 
2010-04-08 01:00:20 PM
filth: Gandhi had a great idea that India should be free run by Hindus, and he had the dedication and brains to make it happen.

FTFY

Sure, the Brits didn't have any right to be there and run things, but one reason they were reluctant to leave was because of the inter-faith, inter-sect bloodbath they believed would ensue. One million dead Indians later, the elite Hindus who were butthurt about being snubbed socially by the Brits had their oligarchy and a nuclear standoff with the Muslims up the road.

/It's better now
//Can't make an omelette, etc.
 
2010-04-08 01:01:49 PM
You know who else refrained from sex with women?
 
2010-04-08 01:01:50 PM
ghare: Wasn't Gandhi a notorious womanizer?

He is now. I wonder if Obama would have his photo taken with Ghandi? Just wonderin', not jackin' or trollin'.

/n'
 
2010-04-08 01:02:20 PM
A super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

And a stark erection.
 
2010-04-08 01:03:03 PM
I'm rather convinced that Kundalini Yoga was invented by bitter gurus who wanted
to stick it to their younger and more attractive apprentices in revenge on
the world for not making them handsome.
 
2010-04-08 01:03:08 PM
I'm pretty sure it's the conservation of vital fluids that has led to some of the biggest failings ever
 
2010-04-08 01:04:11 PM
Jimmy Devil Rocket Science: Approves.

Came for this (pun not intended). Leaving satisfied (again, not intended).
 
2010-04-08 01:04:22 PM
No sex or masterbation but "involuntary discharges". The guy was a perv and laid on the BS spiritual to get with the ladies.

"Come lie on me and I'll prove I'm chaste in the eyes of God."
(involuntary discharges)
"See, I'm not aroused...anymore. Oh that, that was an involuntary discharge. Totally didn't feel anything."

No harm, no foul, he did some great things and if he wanted his nieces tang, well, it wasn't frowned upon back then.
 
2010-04-08 01:04:29 PM
Every 108 minutes, baby.

l.yimg.com
 
2010-04-08 01:07:46 PM
"One who conserves his vital fluid acquires unfailing power."

And a prostate the size of his head.

No thanks, I like to be able to pee like a normal human male.

\fap
\\fap fap
 
2010-04-08 01:08:55 PM
Relax, don't do it.
 
2010-04-08 01:11:09 PM
While in Bengal to see what comfort he could offer in times of inter-communal violence in the run-up to independence, Gandhi called for his 18-year-old grandniece Manu to join him - and sleep with him. "We both may be killed by the Muslims," he told her, "and must put our purity to the ultimate test, so that we know that we are offering the purest of sacrifices, and we should now both start sleeping naked."

.... He, by now, described his reinvented concept of a brahmachari as: "One who never has any lustful intention, who, by constant attendance upon God, has become proof against conscious or unconscious emissions, who is capable of lying naked with naked women, however beautiful, without being in any manner whatsoever sexually excited ... who is making daily and steady progress towards God and whose every act is done in pursuance of that end and no other."


Interesting.
 
2010-04-08 01:11:20 PM
img37.imageshack.us
 
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