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(KOBTV-4)   Career wanker arrested for masturbating in quilting store   (kobtv.com) divider line 49
    More: Dumbass  
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6761 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2003 at 11:39 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



49 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2003-05-02 06:51:18 PM
Great.... My mom and sister live in New Mexico.
 
2003-05-02 06:54:35 PM
I hear the pay's pretty good, but I don't think I'd want to make it my career.
 
2003-05-02 07:43:30 PM
career wanker, aye? I guess I'm still an amateur wanker. Occassionally a volunteer wanker.
 
2003-05-02 08:32:11 PM
He was looking for a sewing circle jerk.
 
2003-05-02 10:50:12 PM
Looks like they finally arrested fb-
 
2003-05-02 11:42:49 PM
If I had a nickel for everytime I "wanked", let's just say I would wank a lot more often and have a lot of money. You know, from getting the nickels for wanking...

/by the by, opera did not like that link.
 
2003-05-02 11:42:58 PM
Well, it beats for a living.
 
2003-05-02 11:43:14 PM
I wank at work. Does that count for anything?
 
2003-05-02 11:44:04 PM
That oughta put a little pre-ironing starch in the fabric...
 
2003-05-02 11:47:16 PM
He wanted to show them something they could hang a quilt on.
 
2003-05-02 11:49:22 PM
I think this guy used to work at a Subway here,he was fired for putting his special sauce in the subs.
 
2003-05-02 11:49:50 PM
and I thought it was this guy...

 
2003-05-02 11:51:47 PM
Yeah, quilting gets me horny, too.
 
2003-05-02 11:52:40 PM
"Witnesses say the man seemed strange from the moment he walked into the quilting store Wednesday."

Funny, usually people who masturbating in public look normal to me...

//Goes to Target and starts humming: 'I touch myself' (ZIP)
 
2003-05-02 11:53:02 PM
farking sick. Candle stores are where the really hot women are.
 
2003-05-02 11:53:24 PM
a quilting store?
 
2003-05-02 11:53:36 PM
Well, it beats for a living.
hehehe, you're funny.
 
2003-05-02 11:54:54 PM
Maybe his penis attacked him and he was just defending himself.
 
2003-05-02 11:55:27 PM
Knit one, pearl two . .
 
2003-05-02 11:56:44 PM
Who the hell makes this their career?
Seriously?
 
udo
2003-05-02 11:56:58 PM
I see they've found #283 of 800. Only 799 still at large.
 
2003-05-02 11:57:16 PM
Whoever wrote the headline must've only read every other word or so in the article.

Albuquerque police did not arrest the man because the crime was only a misdemeanor.

That said, maybe they SHOULD have...
 
2003-05-02 11:59:02 PM
Hmmmm...interesting errr... needlepoint technique.
 
2003-05-02 11:59:40 PM
He must have been furious.
 
2003-05-03 12:01:27 AM
So, does he do all of his stiching by hand, or does he use a machine?
 
2003-05-03 12:02:10 AM
What's with all the wanking articles lately?
 
2003-05-03 12:05:12 AM
Demannu
look! he's gone!
 
2003-05-03 12:06:13 AM
Wydok,

He's using neither. He might have a needle d#ck, but he has an ass of a sewing machine.
 
2003-05-03 12:09:03 AM
well even needle dicked mosquito farkers need attention too
 
2003-05-03 12:12:00 AM
Just watch where you aim that thing...
 
2003-05-03 12:19:35 AM
what jerk off!!
 
2003-05-03 12:22:34 AM
Well I'll be damned.
 
2003-05-03 12:23:50 AM
05-03-03 12:16:22 AM GGracie

Who knows, maybe he found the puff design erotic...

Or maybe the log cabin quilt?
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2003-05-03 12:31:48 AM
"Too bad you can't do that for a living. You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!"
 
2003-05-03 12:32:12 AM
Sexplz
So you're odd are you then?
 
2003-05-03 12:33:17 AM
Anti_Freak_Machine: Who the hell makes this their career?

Likely some FARKer who was getting impatient waiting for a new boobies link.
 
2003-05-03 12:38:20 AM
MUCH better. :) many smiles to our new watcher.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2003-05-03 12:39:01 AM
I wish you'd all stop with the blanket statements. You're really bringing me down.
 
2003-05-03 12:48:41 AM
Quilts make me hot.
No. Really. I see a quilt and I get visions of sexy young Amish chicks slowly removing their bonnets... unbuttoning the outwrmost garmenT... droppinh it to teh foolr... statring on the 2bd layer... then teh 3rd... thr 4th... the fufth...
 
2003-05-03 12:49:20 AM
Oops. Sorry about the typing up there. I was, er... busy.
I'm done now.
 
2003-05-03 12:50:21 AM
MacG,

I believe you forgot Trashy Lingerie...
 
2003-05-03 01:00:26 AM
Maybe he just misunderstood when they offered to "service his Husqvarna"

:-)


Jeffrey (amature quilter)
 
2003-05-03 01:01:33 AM
Was he.... furiously masturbating?
 
2003-05-03 01:09:04 AM
Nothin worse than havin your buddies move you into your first apt and have them see the 50 or so shotspots on your mattress.....
 
2003-05-03 02:55:49 AM
Putting New mEXCIo back ON the map.
 
2003-05-03 09:26:32 AM
"Mister Slippyfist"
 
2003-05-03 09:36:08 AM
He should have found a library with an internet connection.
 
2003-05-03 04:29:25 PM
May the kitten who died because of him haunt his dreams at night.
 
2003-05-03 11:40:01 PM
"The man also has a history of masturbating in public in another New Mexico city."

Since they never bother to disclose the person's name, and already said that he had a record, why do they add this to the end of the story? Just to say--by the way, this guy is really sick?

Maybe he's homeless. They couldn't say anything about that because it would be lending sympathy wouldn't it. All day to masterbate and no place to do it in.

Put yourself in his shoes, what if you were a mentally disturbed homeless person with a penchant for masterbating in public areas... what would you do?

Teehee
 
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