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(Some Guy)   Dangerous Betty White is destroying our notion of what "grandmothers" are supposed to be, also member of a "celebrity militia group," Christian group claims   (christwire.org) divider line 71
    More: Hero, Betty White, Golden Girls, Golden Globes, Barbara Bush, Archie Bunkers, Christmastime, live TV, middle name  
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4797 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Apr 2010 at 9:13 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-04-07 08:22:49 AM
Nods approvingly.

www.majhost.com
 
2010-04-07 08:42:06 AM
emeraldcityguy.files.wordpress.com

I love that this is the first GIS for Betty White
 
2010-04-07 08:47:32 AM
FTFA Sadly, the problem of Betty's White's homosexual army goes much deeper. These are men who are unnaturally devoted to everything and anything Betty White (see "If Betty White sold Depends, I'd buy 'em"). They snap up her products at a fever pace, watch her programs religiously, write blogs and Facebook about her. They need her in their lives. The reason why the homosexual needs White as much as she needs their gay dollars is rooted in their own failings.

el oh el
 
2010-04-07 09:08:13 AM
Mmmmm . . . celebrity militias.
 
2010-04-07 09:09:45 AM
weblogs.variety.com
Survivor
 
2010-04-07 09:16:06 AM
i729.photobucket.com
 
2010-04-07 09:16:48 AM
Christwire is not serious.
 
2010-04-07 09:18:45 AM
"No longer is Nana nurturing our souls with chicken soup and Clark's bars."


Does anybody have a grandmother like this??

"Grams has given up on Junior's schooling and Bible study."

or one that was ever interested in this?
 
2010-04-07 09:21:55 AM
Dangerous Betty White is destroying our notion of what "grandmothers" are supposed to be, also member of a "celebrity militia group," Christian group claims

If she had a dick, this is where she would tell you to suck it.
 
2010-04-07 09:23:27 AM
Clark's bars?

Like Clark Kent?

It's just Clark Bars.
 
2010-04-07 09:24:57 AM
mofomisfit: Christwire is not serious.

i568.photobucket.com
 
2010-04-07 09:27:26 AM
At first I thought "there's no way in hell that this is real"

Then I looked a couple of the other articles from the site. I figured I'd be able to pick out satirical hallmarks here and there. I saw headlines about athiests trying to take our daughter's virginity, how Kobe Bryant is a bad bad man, anti Obama stuff, and an article praising the recent "Prom-Dupe" that Missisippi school pulled on those poor kids.

And I still don't know if it's fake or not. That's the sad state of our world - there are plenty of people who actually think this way, so it's hard to tell if someone's kidding when they say similar things.

If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.
 
2010-04-07 09:31:27 AM
DoughyGuy: At first I thought "there's no way in hell that this is real"

Then I looked a couple of the other articles from the site. I figured I'd be able to pick out satirical hallmarks here and there. I saw headlines about athiests trying to take our daughter's virginity, how Kobe Bryant is a bad bad man, anti Obama stuff, and an article praising the recent "Prom-Dupe" that Missisippi school pulled on those poor kids.

And I still don't know if it's fake or not. That's the sad state of our world - there are plenty of people who actually think this way, so it's hard to tell if someone's kidding when they say similar things.

If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.


Poe's Law strikes again!

Poe'ned (new window)
 
2010-04-07 09:32:20 AM
I don't know about you, but my grand mothers were two of the most evil biatches to ever walk this earth. One was a pill popping junkie who destroyed three of her four kids and used to beat her grand kids any time she was around them.

The other was a self absorbed business woman who destroyed five of her eight kids, committed thefts, fraud, and out right lied to a grand jury.

Yes my family is an evil bunch of cock suckers whose members include murders, thief's, arsonists, rapists, drug lords, pimps, prostitutes and pedophiles why do you ask?
 
2010-04-07 09:33:55 AM
DoughyGuy:

And I still don't know if it's fake or not. That's the sad state of our world - there are plenty of people who actually think this way, so it's hard to tell if someone's kidding when they say similar things.

If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.


It definitely falls under Poe's Law.
 
2010-04-07 09:36:05 AM
DoughyGuy: At first I thought "there's no way in hell that this is real"

Then I looked a couple of the other articles from the site. I figured I'd be able to pick out satirical hallmarks here and there. I saw headlines about athiests trying to take our daughter's virginity, how Kobe Bryant is a bad bad man, anti Obama stuff, and an article praising the recent "Prom-Dupe" that Missisippi school pulled on those poor kids.

And I still don't know if it's fake or not. That's the sad state of our world - there are plenty of people who actually think this way, so it's hard to tell if someone's kidding when they say similar things.

If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.


Satan Creates New Type of Dragon(new window)

Its satire. But I will agree with you that Poe's Law has been pushed to previously unbelievable heights.
 
2010-04-07 09:37:22 AM
DoughyGuy: If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.

www.soloseo.com
 
zz9
2010-04-07 09:37:57 AM
FTA: "Mrs. White secretly called in death threats to fellow Golden Girls actress Rue McClanahan. At stake were the hundreds of thousands of dollars in residual profits that the last surviving character will reap from the show."

So that's how residuals work!
 
2010-04-07 09:38:52 AM
If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site isn't real, the author deserves a Nobel Prize for Satire.

FTFM...

/"Noooo I don't need to preview, everything should be fiiiiine"
 
2010-04-07 09:42:19 AM
mofomisfit: Christwire is not serious.

But oh if it was!
 
2010-04-07 09:48:24 AM
zz9: FTA: "Mrs. White secretly called in death threats to fellow Golden Girls actress Rue McClanahan. At stake were the hundreds of thousands of dollars in residual profits that the last surviving character will reap from the show."

So that's how residuals work!


Yeah, seriously. Unless the Golden Girls had some sort of death pact. I guess it could work like that if they did.
 
2010-04-07 09:52:32 AM
DoughyGuy: At first I thought "there's no way in hell that this is real"

Then I looked a couple of the other articles from the site. I figured I'd be able to pick out satirical hallmarks here and there. I saw headlines about athiests trying to take our daughter's virginity, how Kobe Bryant is a bad bad man, anti Obama stuff, and an article praising the recent "Prom-Dupe" that Missisippi school pulled on those poor kids.

And I still don't know if it's fake or not. That's the sad state of our world - there are plenty of people who actually think this way, so it's hard to tell if someone's kidding when they say similar things.

If that site isn't fake - it's definitely chock-fulla-fail. But if that site is real, the author deserved a Nobel Prize for Satire.


This.
 
2010-04-07 09:53:12 AM
A Golden Girls tontine?
 
2010-04-07 09:53:17 AM
The hidden recesses of Betty White's world

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap
 
2010-04-07 09:54:42 AM
I am as conservative and right wing-y as they come but if one person says a bad thing about Betty White I WILL F**KING END THEM!!!

/would army-crawl through a mile of filth just to get a sip of her bathwater

//White/Macchio 2012!!!
 
2010-04-07 09:56:04 AM
EMUchef: A Golden Girls tontine?

Rue McClanahan has a nice set of tontines.
 
2010-04-07 09:58:52 AM
So it's Betty White's fault that she has a gay fan base?

Keep f*cking that chicken.
 
2010-04-07 10:00:23 AM
I couldn't tell if this was serious or not, until the end.

FTFA: The reason why the homosexual needs White as much as she needs their gay dollars is rooted in their own failings. Surely she is a surrogate grandmother, one who doesn't reject their sassy ways and 1950s furniture, their outspoken liberalism and their frequent "houseguests" with their thick chest hairs luxuriously bursting from the tops of their ragged tanktops. These are a dangerous people, obsessed with libidinously sampling ethnic diversity and cunningly networking themselves into the highest echelons of American society, bent on dominating their heterosexual masters, whom they scheme to bend over office desks and against factory walls as they push and push for more special rights from those who do everything in their power to resist that painfully sweat-drenched invasion of America's most precious principles.

HA! My boner and I laugh at your satire, Christwire!

+1
 
2010-04-07 10:11:26 AM
The Notorious B-T-W
 
2010-04-07 10:14:28 AM
wpmulligan: The Notorious B-T-W

I guess I should read the entire article before posting.
 
2010-04-07 10:22:18 AM
www.hollywoodyesterday.com

GILF and she would need to talk dirty to me...
 
Ant
2010-04-07 10:24:54 AM
That's a parody site, right?
 
2010-04-07 10:25:18 AM
Saw a clip from her interview on Oprah this morning. What's next on her 'to do list'? "Robert Redford"

You go girl!
 
2010-04-07 10:28:04 AM
Ant: That's a parody site, right?

I honestly can't tell anymore.
 
2010-04-07 10:30:09 AM
Dancin_In_Anson: Saw a clip from her interview on Oprah this morning. What's next on her 'to do list'? "Robert Redford"

You go girl!


You are so street.
 
2010-04-07 10:31:28 AM
Brick-House: GILF and she would need to talk dirty to me...

FTFY.
 
Ant
2010-04-07 10:32:17 AM
mitEj: Ant: That's a parody site, right?

I honestly can't tell anymore.


Nor can I. They probably rope in actual fundie morons all the time.
 
2010-04-07 10:42:47 AM
TFA: But before you know it, you've been drawn through the looking glass into Betty's world of illicit humor and cheesecake choices.

This has to be a joke.
 
2010-04-07 10:43:11 AM
I know that these guys are satirists (read their stuff before) but they still managed to make me love her even more.
 
2010-04-07 10:44:34 AM
William Shatnet? That's gold, Jerry, GOLD!
 
2010-04-07 10:51:48 AM
hahahaha that article blames people becoming gay on Betty White!
 
2010-04-07 10:55:10 AM
Satire.

I caught on when I went to the militia group and the web site is honorary Kentucky Colonels.
 
2010-04-07 10:58:40 AM
I love Betty White. She reminds me of my grandmother. She was quite a character.
 
2010-04-07 10:58:41 AM
Damn you, Saint Poe's Law!
 
2010-04-07 11:43:38 AM
Fark "Christians"
\ DNRTFA
 
2010-04-07 11:47:49 AM
"Celebrity Militia" is a reality show I actually WOULD watch.
 
2010-04-07 11:56:40 AM
44 comments and none of you picked up on the "vajazzling" story?
 
2010-04-07 12:05:57 PM
THIS WEEK

On "Celebrity Militia"

Things get tense between Perez Hilton and Black Team Commander Ted Nugent when Hilton decides to get creative with his uniform.

And special guest instructor Steven Segal teaches Corey Feldman and the rest of the Green Team how to make shaped charges!

Plus! We check on Ron Jeremy's progress after last week's frightening accident with his belt-fed machine gun.

Coming up next on.... Celebrity Militia!!!
 
2010-04-07 12:08:48 PM
If my mom's great aunt were still around she would give Betty White a run for her money. In her last months, when she was dying of cancer, she was in and out of the hospital several times. On one occasion, the doctors insisted she use a walker when leaving her room. She obliged by holding it over her head.
 
2010-04-07 12:15:01 PM
Ant: mitEj: Ant: That's a parody site, right?

I honestly can't tell anymore.

Nor can I. They probably rope in actual fundie morons all the time.


Me either....you know someone out there probably believes this crap...or something very similar. Lot of kooks out there but who is being funny and who is being real? Hard to tell anymore.
 
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