calbert: don't forget the obligatory "April 15th is tax deadline day" with footage of what post offices look like as they stay open til midnight

and accompanying questions and answers such as, "why did you wait so long to file"?

/god I hate that shiat

This year will be file early to avoid all the tax protests clogging up the sidewalks and parking lots.

rickythepenguin: calbert: don't forget the obligatory "April 15th is tax deadline day" with footage of what post offices look like as they stay open til midnight

and accompanying questions and answers such as, "why did you wait so long to file"?


and don't forget the ever-so-witty, fresh, and insightful, "why would i want to get a refund? THAT'S LIKE GIVING THE GUMMINT AN INTEREST-FREE LOAN LOL!!!!!!

Alex, I'll take 'stuff dumb people say' for $500.

Well, it is exactly like giving the government an interest free loan. Why give it to the government when you can make more use of it in your pocket?

A nearly equally important rule is to disconnect the spark plug when cleaning out the mower blade area.

Transcend dental medication! I LOL'd at that one. Subby wins one internet.

Can someone explain the Christan Bale one to me? I assume its related to a role he played, but it just doesn't seem HOTW worth to me.

calbert: don't forget the obligatory "April 15th is tax deadline day" with footage of what post offices look like as they stay open til midnight

and accompanying questions and answers such as, "why did you wait so long to file"?

/god I hate that shiat

Better questions like, why do you still mail your tax returns?

None of the headlines this week were very amusing. Some were downright stupid.

schattenteufel: None of the headlines this week were very amusing. Some were downright stupid.

The headlines last week were better than the headlines this week.

The headlines last year were better than the headlines this year.

The headlines last decade were better than the headlines this decade.

I think if you stick your hand in and out of running lawnmower blades really, really fast, you probably won't get hurt. You'd need to be really calm and focused, so about four beers ought to elevate your chi to the correct level.

Sinto: schattenteufel: None of the headlines this week were very amusing. Some were downright stupid.

This from a guy with one approved headline


Hey, I didn't say I could do better. (though I'm convinced the bulk of headline approval is favortism ;-) I'm just sayin' it was slim pickings this week. Usually I laugh a few times when reading the previous weeks' best headlines. This week...not even a chuckle.

calbert:
wow, where were you last year?

very, very nsfw audio (new window)

many, many wonderful follow-ups posted, from a soundboard to "Family Guy" to "David after dentist"

Thanks calbert. I saw the articles, but just never RoLttFA. It makes much more sense now.

dstanley: "Own Goal" got me to laugh at a soccer headline.

Yep. Nuff said.

Hey Drew, did you get any actual tornadoes down your way last night or just the warnings?

ExtremeHobo: Better questions like, why do you still mail your tax returns?

Because some people don't have internet access, or don't know that you can e-file...?

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Well, it is exactly like giving the government an interest free loan. Why give it to the government when you can make more use of it in your pocket?

In the first place, why the fark does anyone care how I manage my witholdings? It's not like my witholdings affect someone else's taxes; if anything, it'll have a positive effect. The government doesn't need to raise debt ceilings or tax rates as often if they can maintain a balance sheet through the year.

ExtremeHobo: Better questions like, why do you still mail your tax returns?

I don't itemize my deductions, so even the standard 1040 is a whopping two-page worksheet. If that's the sort of workload that makes most people run screaming for a computer, I guess that's why I get paid to do the work I do that needs a computer.

Not to mention, the form the private health insurance company sent to me was much nastier.

dragonchild: The_Six_Fingered_Man: Well, it is exactly like giving the government an interest free loan. Why give it to the government when you can make more use of it in your pocket?

In the first place, why the fark does anyone care how I manage my witholdings? It's not like my witholdings affect someone else's taxes; if anything, it'll have a positive effect. The government doesn't need to raise debt ceilings or tax rates as often if they can maintain a balance sheet through the year.

I don't care, but you would reap many more benefits by just placing that cash in an interest bearing account for the 12 months that you permit the government to hold onto it.

And you mean that if everyone did this, that the government would be forced to spend less money throughout the year? Count me as among the many that think that is a great idea. Plus, the government won't be going without their quarterly cash infusion, as a fair to middling percentage of the population pays estimated taxes.

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Well, it is exactly like giving the government an interest free loan. Why give it to the government when you can make more use of it in your pocket?

Because, you won't. For most people it probably comes out to $30-$40 a paycheck. Are seriously going to stash that $30 away each pay period? No, because the amount accumulated is so little that ay interest earned will be minimal. So many people will file 0 and have that extra taken out and enjoy the lump sum when they file their taxes.

sboyle1020: The_Six_Fingered_Man: Well, it is exactly like giving the government an interest free loan. Why give it to the government when you can make more use of it in your pocket?

Because, you won't. For most people it probably comes out to $30-$40 a paycheck. Are seriously going to stash that $30 away each pay period? No, because the amount accumulated is so little that ay interest earned will be minimal. So many people will file 0 and have that extra taken out and enjoy the lump sum when they file their taxes.

Who says you have to stash it away? That is but ONE of the options that you can do with the money that you DON'T NEED to send to the government.

Buy low-rent hookers and blow for all I care. Just make use of it. Don't permit the government to make money on your money without giving you a percentage of the interest made. That's just stupid talk.

The_Six_Fingered_Man: Who says you have to stash it away? That is but ONE of the options that you can do with the money that you DON'T NEED to send to the government.

Buy low-rent hookers and blow for all I care. Just make use of it. Don't permit the government to make money on your money without giving you a percentage of the interest made. That's just stupid talk.

Let's say it comes to $2,000 for the year. Divide that by say 26 pay periods and you have an extra $77 a paycheck, or $154 a month. Now people living paycheck to paycheck will need that money. Those that don't need that money don't look at it as a "loan". And that $77 will be spent on something frivolous. So those people who don't factor that extra tax into their budget don't really care about it, and therefore just like getting a $2,000 lump sum early in the year.

I see your point, but lot's of people don't have the restraint to do something smart with that money and just like the tax refund.

My dad cut off half his left index finger in a lawn mower when he was 17, so I'm getting a kick out of this. (wasn't drunk, was fixing a chain under a riding mower, and didn't have it out of gear so chopchop. This was early 70's, and God knows how old the mower was.)

But my kids get a kick out of his stub.

We might get some local news channels predicting Armageddon tomorrow when some storms roll through. Don't believe it's anything severe. Very windy today though,almost feels like summer here in central Kentucky. Of course when it storms here my satellite TV and my DSL internet both go out,so I'm stuck with a weather report on my scanner and my cell phone's internet.


/In Bardstown,KY,about an hour from Lexington and Fark HQ

ExtremeHobo: Better questions like, why do you still mail your tax returns?

You have to mail in the federal return for the first time home buyer credit.

/IT'S FREE MONEY!!!

The_Six_Fingered_Man: I don't care, but you would reap many more benefits by just placing that cash in an interest bearing account for the 12 months that you permit the government to hold onto it.

No, I'd reap a single, quantifiable benefit -- the interest on the account. Which is dandy. Unlike the smug assholes who try to withold as much money from "teh government" as possible, I don't begrudge anyone who wants that benefit. As long as you're not outright dodging taxes, more power to you.

However, I prefer not to. And every time I say this I get treated like I'm a retard or something -- and that's if I'm not faced with outrage because I'm not frothing at the mouth over this. Sorry, but life's too short to throw a hissy fit over a few bucks of interest, and anyway, I thought it through and made my choice. Interest-bearing accounts are paying like 1% or less, banks go out of their way to take a week to process transactions (so much for liquidity), with the income I make any interest on witholdings is minimal and frankly, most people who are told this "aggressive witholding is giving the government an interest-free loan" can't manage a farking budget. It's in their best interest to let the government withold the money, because often times they forget to save the money and wind up looking at penalties for late payment.

The minimal witholdings approach is for people who think it's worth the added inconvenience to get the little extra money, and are diligent in managing the money so the IRS doesn't bite them later. And that's fine. Smart, even. But that doesn't make them de facto the smartest people in the world, and they seem to have a very hard time understanding "to each one's own".

My finances are in very good shape. Also, and a few teabaggers' heads may explode upon hearing this, I don't lose sleep at night from the thought that my witholdings are giving the government an interest-free loan. Oh gasp gasp, the horror. I made my choice and found it was easier this way. Anyone who has a problem with it can STFU already, because I've heard it all before (it's an annual pundit tradition) and most people who say it act all blindsided when they oh-so-predictably owe the IRS money anyway.

But it's okay to use a crane and mower to trim your hedge.

dragonchild: The_Six_Fingered_Man: I don't care, but you would reap many more benefits by just placing that cash in an interest bearing account for the 12 months that you permit the government to hold onto it.

No, I'd reap a single, quantifiable benefit -- the interest on the account. Which is dandy. Unlike the smug assholes who try to withold as much money from "teh government" as possible, I don't begrudge anyone who wants that benefit. As long as you're not outright dodging taxes, more power to you.

However, I prefer not to. And every time I say this I get treated like I'm a retard or something -- and that's if I'm not faced with outrage because I'm not frothing at the mouth over this. Sorry, but life's too short to throw a hissy fit over a few bucks of interest, and anyway, I thought it through and made my choice. Interest-bearing accounts are paying like 1% or less, banks go out of their way to take a week to process transactions (so much for liquidity), with the income I make any interest on witholdings is minimal and frankly, most people who are told this "aggressive witholding is giving the government an interest-free loan" can't manage a farking budget. It's in their best interest to let the government withold the money, because often times they forget to save the money and wind up looking at penalties for late payment.

The minimal witholdings approach is for people who think it's worth the added inconvenience to get the little extra money, and are diligent in managing the money so the IRS doesn't bite them later. And that's fine. Smart, even. But that doesn't make them de facto the smartest people in the world, and they seem to have a very hard time understanding "to each one's own".

My finances are in very good shape. Also, and a few teabaggers' heads may explode upon hearing this, I don't lose sleep at night from the thought that my witholdings are giving the government an interest-free loan. Oh gasp gasp, the horror. I made my choice and found it was easier this way. Anyone who has a problem with it can STFU already, because I've heard it all before (it's an annual pundit tradition) and most people who say it act all blindsided when they oh-so-predictably owe the IRS money anyway.

Let me clarify. I'm not talking about reducing your withholdings to zero and paying it all at the end of the year. I'm talking about tweaking your W-4 so that your refund or amount due each year is as minimal as can be expected. This way, you have met your tax obligations, but you aren't giving the government a single penny more than they have said they need.

"Kids wearing duct tape porn dresses" lol wut?

I know everyone's seen this movie. Here you go.

I have to admit that if gas gets to be $100 a gallon I'm going to have to stop driving.

MonkeyAngst: ExtremeHobo: Better questions like, why do you still mail your tax returns?

Because some people don't have internet access, or don't know that you can e-file...?

Or if you purchased a home in 2009, you have to mail in your tax return in order to get the $8000 tax credit...