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(Newsday)   Man mails himself home a souvenir. Turns out to be 600 grams of blow. Ironically, his trip was to Colombia   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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8804 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2003 at 8:54 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2003-05-02 08:57:49 AM  
"Judson Brown, 52, was found guilty of importing 500 grams or more of cocaine into the United States and attempting to possess with intent to distribute 500 grams or more of cocaine. "

So, if he only mailed himself 499 grams it wouldn't be intent to distribute?
2003-05-02 08:57:54 AM  
Wouldn't that be "obvious" and not "ironic"?
2003-05-02 08:58:30 AM  
I wonder how many people get away with this?
2003-05-02 08:58:35 AM  
Maybe it wasn't blow, maybe it was just anthrax.
2003-05-02 08:59:01 AM  
I also like the "attempting to possess" part.

I would think you either possess it or you don't.
2003-05-02 09:03:42 AM  
Customs inspectors found an international mail receipt

I'd like to know how they came across this ...
2003-05-02 09:04:07 AM  
I don't see the big deal, it's not like it was Marijuana, that stuff is worse than we thought so my TV tells me.
2003-05-02 09:04:47 AM  

"Ironically, his trip was to Colombia"

I don't get that. He mailed them to CT ... seems standard

2003-05-02 09:04:48 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Attempted possession?? Now really, what IS that? Do they award a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry?.
2003-05-02 09:07:49 AM  
Do they really have the right to intercept packages because a person going through Customs happens to have a receipt for said package on his person? What kind of reasonable suspicion is that, or is the article just incomplete?
2003-05-02 09:08:27 AM  
RedfordRenegade, and it makes you pregnant, too!
2003-05-02 09:09:03 AM  
Cocaine? is that stuff still around?
2003-05-02 09:15:37 AM  
Ok stop.. stop right now - this is not going to turn into another "That's not Ironic" thread.

Will stab.
2003-05-02 09:18:26 AM  
I'm confused. Why was the package intercepted?
2003-05-02 09:22:44 AM  
The real dumbass is the guy that came up with this headline. Way to butcher the English language. D-
2003-05-02 09:24:51 AM  
They intercepted it because, the war on drugs allows destruction of privacy and freedom. YAY WOD!
2003-05-02 09:30:12 AM  
coincidence is not irony...and this isn't either
2003-05-02 09:31:17 AM  
'10 years to life in prison'
my god what a police state
2003-05-02 09:34:25 AM  
Next time, break it down into several smaller shipments. And hide the receipts better. Or mail the receipts to yourself also.
2003-05-02 09:49:43 AM  
Note to self: Don't use big words unless you know what they mean.
2003-05-02 09:49:57 AM  
are we yous guys still fighting a war on drugs? lol.
2003-05-02 09:51:28 AM  
I'm betting they asked him what he sent and he got nervous about it and couldn't come up with an answer.

And yes, that would be valid suspicion when you're coming from Colombia.

Who keeps a receipt for an ILLEGAL SHIPMENT? What, if it doesn't show you're going to call USPS asking for your blow?
2003-05-02 09:57:12 AM  
The same penalties that are locking him up are the ones that drove the market price of his haul to roughly 50K - tripple that if he's making crack out of it.

Welcome to Economics 101
Step 1) Ban a vice, any vice
Step 2) Set very high penalties and jail terms for any involvement in that particular vice - higher than jail terms for murder & corporate fraud
Step 3) Watch the value of said vice skyrocket to prices higher than that of gold (gram for gram)
Step 4) Collect revanue from enforcement; build burrocracy to surround "cause".

Tune in next week to find out how the ANNUAL WOD budget of 20 BILLION could put every hardcore drug addict in the united states in FULL treatment for a year.

/gets off soapbox
2003-05-02 10:00:08 AM  
"Brown was stopped at Miami International Airport in December 2000 as he returned from Cali, after Customs inspectors found an international mail receipt showing that a package had been sent from Cali"

The lesson here boys and girls "Do NOT keep receipts for your cocaine."
2003-05-02 10:04:14 AM  
The war on personal freedom is a huge joke. However, anyone who has mailed anything 'suspect' knows that you NEVER sign for it or keep a receipt. Leave a note letting the carrier know its ok for UPS or FEDEX to leave the package by the door (almost every driver will). When customs comes a callin' there is no record of anything and you deny that you ever recieved or were expecting a package. Then tell em to suck it.
2003-05-02 10:10:28 AM  
*still looking for irony*
2003-05-02 10:13:43 AM  
Trader_of_shots, I wasn't questioning the irony of the proposed situation, I was questioning the actuality of the situation itself. He wasn't sending them to Colombia, he was sending them to CT.

It's not just another "that's not ironic" thread, moron.

2003-05-02 10:19:13 AM  
Busting a dude with 600 grams of Coke is not a "war on personal freedom" you mongoloids.
2003-05-02 10:24:41 AM  
Not ironic.
2003-05-02 10:29:12 AM  
Dumb arse. Why would you keep a receipt for an illegal shipment? Hope he has fun in the slammer.
2003-05-02 10:29:50 AM  
*just to screw with Mikemir and Trader_of_shots * if the guy sent the package to columbia, connecticut, that would have been slightly more ironic......
2003-05-02 10:30:39 AM  
...actually Icky depending on your perspective, it is a war on personal freedom. See not everyone believes that altering your state of consciousness/sobriety is a crime on humanity. Furthermore, what you do to your own body is your "personal freedom", or "right to pursue happiness".
2003-05-02 10:39:50 AM  
Yeah, because coke is an okay thing to do. But god forbid you light a farking cigarette.
2003-05-02 11:03:12 AM  
...I should clarify a couple things - I don't "do" coke, nor do I hang with anyone who does. I believe its actually a nasty little drug. It farks people up, usually sooner than later. But if someone wants to get farked up in their own home - I believe that should be their own personal freedom.
2003-05-02 11:10:03 AM  
05-02-03 09:57:12 AM Wgb423

Welcome to Economics 101.........

yes....this is what most morons don't realize.

They are all worried that drug related crime will increase if you legalize. If you watch the news during very large busts in say florida, drug related crime will increase because the market value will increase. addicts will pay any price, and will steal your TV to do so.

They are worried that dealers will be on every street corner. They are there now because their product is worth more than gold. Who would spend that money when you can make such a product at home. Their product becomes as marketable as sand in a desert. Crime solved.

then we can keep the jail cells for those who need them.
2003-05-02 11:22:24 AM  
You would think by now an importer would have done proper Research and Development to find an optimal capsule for smugglers to swallow.

hardshell plastic, about the size of a horse pill.

run tests using a rock tumbler (you know, those machines used to polish rocks)

Seems like a no-brainer for your small-time importer.
2003-05-02 11:38:20 AM  
Better yet, get the government involved, regulate it like alcohol, watch the price come down, crime go down, and the feds make quick cash. Everybody's happy.

2003-05-02 11:40:07 AM  
Put some white powder in an envelope and write your name on it. Sit in jail for ten years. Sounds fair to me. Sounds like a good way to spend tax payer money as well.
2003-05-02 11:45:44 AM  
I'm thinking this was a sarcastic use of the word ironically.

Either that, or the poster is a dumbass.
2003-05-02 11:46:25 AM  
I mailed myself some TASTY chunks of hash when I moved back from Germany to the States. Oldest smuggling trick in the book and I was very suprised that it made it back. Cut the innards out of the bottom of a table candle. Shove it full of 'drug-o-choice'. Jam the wax back into the bottom and then melt it shut. Wash the hell out of it and put it into a ziplock bag. Take a lighter and melt the ziplock bag shut. Put this into a box with a lot of other nick nack crap that you don't care if you get back or not. Put a fake name and address for the return. I chose 'Johann Schmidt'. When you mail it, send it "express" delivery which goes through customs with a little less scrutiny (so I am told). Worked for me.
2003-05-02 11:59:53 AM  
no govenment regulation. i don't want things to end up like cigarettes. no corporate marketing....grow it yourself. like carrots in your garden. i would want it to be illegal to sell or distribute, but legal to use or possess.

it shouldn't be easy for anyone to go get drugs. they should have to make it themselves. then people who lose their ambition from addiction end up curing themselves. ha.

maybe this new generation of botanists would then be more active in regulating the nations pollution problem
2003-05-02 12:13:25 PM  
NarcisisticRage - I like it! I'm all for growing it yourself. I'm actually trying to grow my own tobacco plant in the garden this year. (No, that's not slang for anything illicit - I mean a tobacco plant). I don't smoke cigarettes, but I do like a good cigar - or homegrown cigar wrapper ;)
2003-05-02 12:22:25 PM  
continuing previous thought.......we have cartels in central & south america because there is lots of money to be made. LOTS of money. if there is no money to be made, then they will be out of business.

same with big american executives. they would be sure that it is available to every man, woman, and child in every store window, TV, internet banner, and college football stadium.
2003-05-02 12:57:20 PM  
<b>Sunbelly</b> In federal court, they charge you with X amount of drugs because it affects your sentence. "More than 500" grams jacks the sentence to a higher level than if they just charged him with attempted possession without specifying the amount.

/lawyer stuff
2003-05-02 01:20:52 PM  
Would it have helped if he had put "/sarcasm" in huge blinking letters at the end?

Jesus Christ, you people are obtuse sometimes.

2003-05-02 01:24:07 PM  
While in the Army in Japan, one of my duties when I wasn't flying medevac missions, was picking up the mail at the central point on base and taking it up the airfield's mail room and sorting it. Not a bad job, really... The acting First Sergeant for Flight Operations went on leave to California. He mailed himself a box of weed and put his address in Japan as the originating and final addresses. The box was intercepted, he was drug-tested, he failed, he got booted out of the Army and was lucky he didn't get shipped off to a military prison. Now, I have nothing against smoking grass, and now that I'm a civilian, I occasionally indulge, but sending the shiat through the the US Mail, (especially MILITARY mail!) is the height of stupidity. Anyone THAT stupid deserves to get caught.
2003-05-02 04:19:23 PM  
I mailed a piece of afghani from the netherlands to my mom's house (only permanent address i had at the time) in small town Ontario. Flattened it and put it in an envelope with some pictures of mountains (that could have been anywhere) and a fake dutch return address. Asked someone dutch to write "Photos -- do not bend" in both dutch and english on the outside.

When i got home my mom asked to see the pictures. No pics yet, i told her, cuz they're all still just film. No, she says, the ones you mailed yourself from Amsterdam....

GROW UP, MAMMA!, I said. I didn't send PHOTOS to myself from Amsterdam!

She was horrified to think that I'd "used her to smuggle drugs" into Canada but we laugh about it now (10 yrs later)
2003-05-02 04:25:02 PM  
LOL, Bill Wick's Friend Here, Mama; Have a toke of my photos! er... a LOOK, I mean...
2003-05-02 05:15:06 PM  
PACKAGE WEIGHT: About 600 grams

DECLARED VALUE: Whatever 600 grams of cocaine is worth
2003-05-03 08:29:30 AM  
PACKAGE WEIGHT: About 600 grams

DECLARED VALUE: Whatever 600 grams of cocaine is worth

That's a lot of tv's
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