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(   Woman who apparently needed to get some sleep fires shotgun in Walgreens   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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7959 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 May 2003 at 8:02 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

54 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-05-02 12:45:26 AM  
Maybe she played video games?
2003-05-02 12:51:35 AM  
Javier Sambrano, ... says the manager took the weapon away from the weapon.

Looks like the reporter needs to get some sleep...
2003-05-02 01:22:05 AM  
Elderly woman in front of the counter waving a shotgun: "Give me some farkin sleeping pills, or sleep with,... those... water swimmy thingees!"

Clerk: "You mean 'fishes'?"

Elderly woman...: "Shut...the...fark...up! Shut the fark up!
Just shut up!"

Shotgun: "Ka-Boom!"

Elderly woman...: "Holy sh*t! Are you okay, sonny?"

Clerk: "Yeah. You just killed the medicine cabinet."

Manager: "Gramma, what did I tell you about coming in here with the shotgun. You're embarrassing me."
2003-05-02 01:40:41 AM  
Thank Bob the weapon didn't need Prozac.
2003-05-02 01:41:10 AM  
Firing off a few shots usually makes me sleepy too.
2003-05-02 02:36:19 AM  
Hmm.... For a second there I thought, "Maybe she wanted the sleeping pills so that she could commit suicide."

Then I remembered she had a shotgun... I kinda wonder if she remembered that too.

2003-05-02 03:52:46 AM  
Walgreens-the pharmacy America trusts to take the weapon away from the weapon.
2003-05-02 07:03:35 AM  
Man, she had the tired-crankies BIG time.
2003-05-02 08:10:16 AM  
Police ... are still investigating why a ... woman may have fired a shot in a Walgreens store Hmm, they're not sure? I usually know it when someone bounces a few shells in a store.
2003-05-02 08:14:34 AM  

Another case of someone trampling on the constitution! If you read the second amendment it not only states all humans have the right to bear arms but also that an individual weapon has the right to bear itself. Someone call the ACLU, stat!
2003-05-02 08:14:49 AM  
That's life, this is life at Walgreens.

/work for em' I should know.
2003-05-02 08:17:53 AM  
Please ma'm!!!
Place your weapon away from the weapon!

Damnit. it's already an old joke.
2003-05-02 08:18:08 AM  
Perhaps the writer droid meant to type "...the manager took the weapon away from the tool..."

/funny, no?
2003-05-02 08:22:07 AM  
for some reason my 5 yr old calls it "Wal-Grains" and that is what is stuck in my head now. So I cannot verbally discuss this with anyone else. Guess Fark will be my forum!
"smooth Granmama"
2003-05-02 08:22:12 AM  
Have they raised the alert level yet?
2003-05-02 08:22:29 AM  
Headline should add :
"Now sleeping in state penitentiary"
2003-05-02 08:25:11 AM  
Someone needed a nap!
2003-05-02 08:27:55 AM  
bang bang.. i'm tired
2003-05-02 08:28:37 AM  
Left totally unanswered: what size load do you use to shoot a medicine cabinet?

2003-05-02 08:29:36 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-05-02 08:32:37 AM  
What is this world coming to when even weapons have weapons?
2003-05-02 08:33:15 AM  
"I'm gonna get some goddamn sleep,and I'm taking you f*ckers with me!"

/sounded funnier before my morning coffee. ;)
2003-05-02 08:34:12 AM  
I think she was busted because it wasn't "Medicine Cabinet season"
2003-05-02 08:34:50 AM  
Some people just can't say please.
2003-05-02 08:36:51 AM  
PMS is a biatch eh?
2003-05-02 08:37:31 AM  
How does one go about "taking the weapon away from the weapon?" Maybe the reporter should get some sleep.
2003-05-02 08:48:06 AM  
She was trying to drive away the Ettins and Wooses that live in medicine cabinets and poison the pills.
2003-05-02 08:53:24 AM  
Bark_atda_moon, nice. Very subtle. I was about to castigate you for irrelevance until I remembered that the loony bat was in there for sleeping pills. On a related note, what a great show that is. Did anyone see the Miami one where he's in the bar talking to the drunk and he goes "What, just because I have a shaved cootch and my boobs are real? And I won't just bend over for any Jean Claude Van Damme or Steven Segal who happens to come by and wants to cornhole me in the anus??" I laughed until it hurt.
2003-05-02 08:53:42 AM  
fired a shot from a shotgun, huh?

Unless she's got that boomstick loaded with slugs, I'd say she fired a bunch of shot.

/ballistic grammar nazi
2003-05-02 08:54:40 AM  
Sounds like somebody had a case of the Mondays.

I know I get cranky with no sleep, but sheeesh, just don't ever give me a firearm.
2003-05-02 09:07:44 AM  
King of Toast

I used to love that show when it first started. As he has become fairly well known, you can tell they have trouble getting rid of the folks that just want to say "Hi mom" to the camera.

2003-05-02 09:26:00 AM  
from the album "Fine Art of Surfacing" (1979)

I Don't Like Mondays

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home.
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold.
And he can see no reason
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.

The telex machine is kept so clean
As it types to a waiting world.
And mother feels so shocked,
Father's world is rocked,
And their thoughts turn to
Their own little girl.
Sweet 16 ain't so peachy keen,
No, it ain't so neat to admit defeat.
They can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.

All the playing's stopped in the playground now
She wants to play with her toys a while.
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning
And the lesson today is how to die.
And then the bullhorn crackles,
And the captain crackles,
With the problems and the how's and why's.
And he can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to die?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.
2003-05-02 09:28:12 AM  
She will be transferred later back across the Rio Grande to Ciudad Jurez. Once there, she will be killed and her organs harvested for profit.
2003-05-02 09:39:54 AM  
"Javier Sambrano, spokesman for the El Paso Police Department, says the manager took the weapon away from the weapon."

Farking liberals. Not even weapons can have weapons any more.
2003-05-02 09:42:20 AM  
As a matter of principle, I demand all weapons taken from weapons be returned to former-said weapons.

Jesse Jackson is just one speed-dial away. Try me.
2003-05-02 09:42:27 AM  
Just remember, weapons don't kill people, weapons with weapons kill people!
2003-05-02 09:51:00 AM  
If you take weapons away from the grammas, pretty soon only weapons will have ... oh nevermind.
2003-05-02 09:51:52 AM  
There's always some clown that has to post the lyrics of a song in every thread.

oh yeah, by the way...
I'd hit it!
2003-05-02 09:53:12 AM  
Read the third paragraph and then take this quiz: Who did the manager take the weapon away from? :o)
2003-05-02 10:05:40 AM  
You can have my weapon when you pry it away from my cold dead.....weapon....or something.
2003-05-02 10:06:30 AM  
You've heard the saying "Guns don't kill people, people kill people". If the weapon really had a weapon this can no longer be said.
2003-05-02 10:12:11 AM  
What the hell was a weapon doing with a weapon in the first place?? I don't know about you, but I think its pretty damn dangerous to have shotguns walking around with pistols in their pockets....
2003-05-02 10:31:16 AM  
This is one of the most poorly edited articles I've ever seen.
2003-05-02 11:20:54 AM  
>Another case of someone trampling on the constitution! If >you read the second amendment it not only states all >humans have the right to bear arms but also that an >individual weapon has the right to bear itself. Someone >call the ACLU, stat!

Actually, I think the way the Constitution was written, only white, land-owning males have the right to bear arms.
2003-05-02 11:24:09 AM  
Bark_atda_moon Why the picture of Dave.....OHHHHHHHHH, Insomnia! Okay, I see.

Still, I bet the woman at Walgreens didn't get any drunk chicks to flash her or hung out with any taxi drivers or anything.
2003-05-02 11:25:32 AM  
Yeah, great editing. I wonder if the woman's weapon, or the weapon's weapon also got sleeping pills. Do arms also have the right to bear arms?
2003-05-02 11:44:23 AM  
Need sleep? Try CSPAN. It always works for me. Especially now that the Democrats are pulls some unconstitutional crap filibustering a judicial nominee.
2003-05-02 11:51:14 AM  
Clearly the person who wrote this also works for State Attorney Lawson Lamar's office in Florida.
2003-05-02 11:55:54 AM  
Apparently, all of the decent editors have been fired for selling stories to the Enquirer.
2003-05-02 11:56:39 AM  
In america...even our GUNS have guns!

How did Michael Moore miss that one?
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