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(AOL News) Obvious Seaworld trainer died of trauma, drowning, world's laziest coroner reports   (aolnews.com) divider line 76
More: Obvious, Seaworld, swinging, toxicology, fractures, Dawn Brancheau  
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5896 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Mar 2010 at 8:31 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-31 08:33:24 PM
This sounds fishy
 
Al!
2010-03-31 08:35:45 PM
MONSTERTRUCK: This sounds fishy

Cue the "BATS AREN'T BUGS!" Calvin & Hobbes...
 
2010-03-31 08:36:50 PM
Fuku You Rale!!!!!!
 
2010-03-31 08:37:00 PM
I didn't know that lazy reporting by coroners could kill people.
 
2010-03-31 08:37:09 PM
The coroner doesn't want to give nemo information.
 
2010-03-31 08:37:31 PM
as per previous thread...Fillet O' Trainer.

/not funny
//damnit.
 
2010-03-31 08:42:05 PM
www.scienceontv.com

Suck it, subby.
 
2010-03-31 08:42:43 PM
they just wanted to see her titties. is that illegal on fark? in that case, they wanted to see her mammary glands to confirm that she was a mammal.
 
2010-03-31 08:43:33 PM
carmi990: The coroner doesn't want to give nemo information.

Hey, now, that's enough of that.

No need to whale on the guy.
 
2010-03-31 08:49:18 PM
I think this beast should be put down, straight away. We, as a civilized nation, should know better than to trust these savage fish. Rip it's wacky flippers off and remove part of it's scalp.

Next thing you know, these creatures will be forming "flash mobs" in Philly and ruining everything for everyone.

/drunk
 
2010-03-31 08:50:12 PM
How long has Ric Romero been moonlighting as a coroner?
 
2010-03-31 08:52:35 PM
No need to whale on the guy.

Probably just a fluke.
 
2010-03-31 08:53:25 PM
Natural causes. She was underwater too long, and naturally, she died.
 
2010-03-31 08:54:23 PM
Subby, you were expecting something like Shamu used a pistol or knife? The trainer got snatched into the water by the orca, got knocked about and pulled under until she stopped breathing. So, yeah, I'm thinking trauma and drowning and I'm no Quincy.
 
2010-03-31 08:57:41 PM
I for one was really happy, knowing she died drug-free. The whale on her back, is another story.
 
2010-03-31 08:59:58 PM
Lobster_of_Hate: I think this beast should be put down, straight away. We, as a civilized nation, should know better than to trust these savage fish. Rip it's wacky flippers off and remove part of it's scalp.

Next thing you know, these creatures will be forming "flash mobs" in Philly and ruining everything for everyone.

/drunk


Mammal.
 
2010-03-31 09:05:41 PM
Here's the trainer, Dawn Brancheau

img714.imageshack.us
 
2010-03-31 09:05:46 PM
Did they really need an autopsy to find cause of death? I only read about the incident in the news, and I have no medical training, and I would have come to the same conclusion: trauma + drowning.

Did they think there might be a possibility she died from cancer or something?
 
2010-03-31 09:21:05 PM
The killer whale snatched the 40-year-old trainer from a poolside platform in its jaws and thrashed her around underwater, killing her in front of a horrified audience Feb. 24. It marked the third time the animal, named Tilikum, had been involved in a human death.

Okay, well maybe they shouldn't stand too close to him from now on. Like within a mile.
 
2010-03-31 09:22:39 PM
You know, they call the KILLER whales, but you seem suprised when they drag you down to the bottom of the tank.
 
2010-03-31 09:23:16 PM
PowerSlacker: I didn't know that lazy reporting by coroners could kill people.

It's a very fulfilling job.
 
2010-03-31 09:23:21 PM
Medic friends and someone else who works there told me she had her arm and leg ripped off as well as her face to an extent. I guess Dr. G refers to that as dislocated arm and leg as well as 'fractured jaw'. Huh.
 
2010-03-31 09:26:33 PM
From WiKipedia:

...the name Tilikum means "friend" in Chinook jargon.

"Oh, wait...did we say friend? Sorry, it actually means 'Will drag you underwater then eat you alive in front of crying children.' Our bad."
 
2010-03-31 09:28:54 PM
How is this not on YouTube yet?
 
2010-03-31 09:33:08 PM
Klippoklondike: Here's the trainer, Dawn Brancheau


That's the 'before' photo?
 
2010-03-31 09:34:56 PM
♫ ♪ "Give me back that filet-o-fish, give me that fish" ♪ ♫
Tilikum just wanted a sandwich.
 
2010-03-31 09:37:43 PM
the sickness in me wants to see the video.
 
2010-03-31 09:38:00 PM
Efferus X: "...died of drowning and blunt-force trauma to her head, neck and..."



Approves \m/

/Obscure? Any fellow metalheads out there? :(


Wow...good call.
 
2010-03-31 09:44:21 PM
"That's the 'before' photo?"

Seeing that she's conscious and smiling, I believe the answer would indeed be yes.
 
2010-03-31 09:45:22 PM
This thing has killed three people and it's still being used in shows? I am not faulting it for doing what animals do, but is the economic reality really that three dead is still cheaper than training up another whale?
 
2010-03-31 09:51:41 PM
mandingueiro: the sickness in me wants to see the video.

I think it's normal to be curious about the video. I mean, we all feel bad that this happened and it is truly a horrible way to die (that specific Orca is MASSIVE) but, man, that's gotta be one hell of a video to watch.
 
2010-03-31 09:52:45 PM
This from the Corner's office of N. SHait and Sherlock
 
2010-03-31 09:59:14 PM
FTA: Tilikum continues to live in the park's seven-tank orca complex and learns new behaviors now that trainers don't get close to him.

It helps that we now know how to tell when Tilikum is bored.
 
2010-03-31 09:59:27 PM
missiv 2010-03-31 08:57:41 PM

I for one was really happy, knowing she died drug-free. The whale on her back, is another story.


/made me laugh, thanks
 
2010-03-31 10:07:00 PM
Isn't it either one or the other?
 
2010-03-31 10:15:26 PM
well there goes my poisen theroy
 
2010-03-31 10:21:21 PM
vartian: From WiKipedia:

...the name Tilikum means "friend" in Chinook jargon.

"Oh, wait...did we say friend? Sorry, it actually means 'Will drag you underwater then eat you alive in front of crying children.' Our bad."



The name Tilikum means "I kill them"

/post the damn ragdoll killing video already.
//window seat, smoking please.
 
2010-03-31 10:27:00 PM
It marked the third time the animal, named Tilikum, had been involved in a human death.

Ok, so this time we know he killed the trainer. What about the last two, did he just drive the getaway car, or hide evidence, or what?
 
2010-03-31 10:32:38 PM
Maybe taking killer whales and tigers out of the wild and making them perform tricks is not only dangerous but shouldn't be entertaining to any rational being.
 
2010-03-31 10:40:15 PM
SockMonkeyHolocaust: This thing has killed three people and it's still being used in shows? I am not faulting it for doing what animals do, but is the economic reality really that three dead is still cheaper than training up another whale?

The Onion: Police say school shooter had troubled past, history of school shootings. And often described as a "loner".
 
2010-03-31 10:45:24 PM
It's only natural that eventually the whale would want to come up with a trick of its own.
 
2010-03-31 10:49:16 PM
It was murder and I think I can prove it.

img532.imageshack.us
 
2010-03-31 10:53:22 PM
Mugato: Maybe taking killer whales and tigers out of the wild and making them perform tricks is not only dangerous but shouldn't be entertaining to any rational being.


So, I shouldn't be booking tour dates for my travelling show "The Amazing Cupajo and his Swarm of Trained Africanized Killer Bees"?
 
2010-03-31 10:55:10 PM
Cupajo: Mugato: Maybe taking killer whales and tigers out of the wild and making them perform tricks is not only dangerous but shouldn't be entertaining to any rational being.


So, I shouldn't be booking tour dates for my travelling show "The Amazing Cupajo and his Swarm of Trained Africanized Killer Bees"?


I'd pay to see that
 
2010-03-31 10:55:26 PM
justsickshit.com
Hanging Mary the Elephant (new window)

Kinda like that?
 
2010-03-31 10:59:28 PM
Hey, baby, I'm not kidding, I could go for a little something besides this fish day after day. See what you can do. Or else.

z.about.com
 
2010-03-31 11:06:54 PM
WHALE POISON!!!
 
2010-03-31 11:07:33 PM
mikefinch: WHALE POISON!!!

You're just blubbering now.
 
2010-03-31 11:07:58 PM
WienerButt: mandingueiro: the sickness in me wants to see the video.

I think it's normal to be curious about the video. I mean, we all feel bad that this happened and it is truly a horrible way to die (that specific Orca is MASSIVE) but, man, that's gotta be one hell of a video to watch.


I've been to 4chan. I can watch anything now.
 
2010-03-31 11:09:10 PM
SockMonkeyHolocaust: This thing has killed three people and it's still being used in shows? I am not faulting it for doing what animals do, but is the economic reality really that three dead is still cheaper than training up another whale?

He's not generally used in the shows, and he's not trained to be in the same tank with people. The only "performing" he does is the big splash at the beginning of the show.

The first death was that knucklehead who sneaked into his tank; and the second occurred when he was in a very small tank with two other whales during medical procedure in another tank, and all the whales were very agitated. This is the third, and the only one where he seems to have actually intended to kill someone.

Tilikum is considered very valuable because he is a reliable breeder; something like half the whales in Seaworld are either his offspring or their descendents. (You can get all this right off Wiki)

Basically, he's the herd bull...and if you mess with the bull, you get the horns, either literally or figuratively.
 
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