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(The Consumerist)   Amazon's "Track Your Package" feature is great. But when your package goes off the grid and customer service says it was "eaten by an alligator," you may have a problem   ( consumerist.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, grids, English speakers, DSL  
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20493 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2010 at 1:06 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-03-28 11:43:47 AM  
This is what you get when you outsource to India.
 
2010-03-28 12:54:32 PM  
Outside of an alligator, a book is man's best friend. Inside an alligator, it's too dark to read.
 
2010-03-28 01:08:26 PM  
crikeys!
 
2010-03-28 01:10:02 PM  
Piranha would have been a better reason.
 
2010-03-28 01:13:13 PM  
Your order is out for delivery - poop is coming out.
 
2010-03-28 01:17:29 PM  
I love tracking my package.
 
2010-03-28 01:18:41 PM  
My wife got one of these at work. After we got married, she changed her name. She then asked her employer to change her email addredd to match her new name. After weeks of tech support runaround, they decided that they couldn't actualy do it. They would have to delete one account and make her a new one. OK. So she stops getting email at the old name and the new one still doesn't exist. She calls tech support again and, in a very heavy accent, is told told that "Mrs Maiden-name does not exist on this earth." They also faxed her this. It took another week before they managed to get her new address working.

/cool story bro
 
2010-03-28 01:18:53 PM  
Somebody is quitting their customer service job and is just farking around until their shift ends...I know you're here; out yourself.
 
2010-03-28 01:22:28 PM  
Too bad it wasn't stolen by Amazon Warriors.
 
2010-03-28 01:22:38 PM  
Newegg and Amazon.com. Those are the only two places I need for a majority of what I have to buy. I try to go to brick and mortar places, but the last few times (Radio Shack and Best Buy) were a hassle. The only reason my visit to Micro Center was fine is because that store is designed for geeks who know what they need to buy.
 
2010-03-28 01:24:01 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: This is what you get when you outsource to India.


What's your problem with the free market, comrade?
 
2010-03-28 01:31:03 PM  
www.meltingpotproject.com
(hotlinked)
 
2010-03-28 01:31:06 PM  
The irony is that he ordered a case of Purina Alligator Chow.
 
2010-03-28 01:31:08 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: This is what you get when you outsource to India.


Actually, most of the call centers are outsourcing to Cebu. That's the pace where the prisoners did the Jackson dance.
 
2010-03-28 01:31:25 PM  

MobiusStripJoint: I love tracking my package.


My life is so empty that trackthepack.com is my homepage.
 
2010-03-28 01:32:30 PM  

Karma Chameleon: jehovahs witness protection: This is what you get when you outsource to India.

What's your problem with the free market, comrade?


Avoiding places that outsource to India is also part of the free market too ya know. You don't have to shop at Amazon.com.
 
2010-03-28 01:32:58 PM  

I_Am_Weasel


Outside of an alligator, a book is man's best friend. Inside an alligator, it's too dark to read.


You get top marx for that one.
 
2010-03-28 01:33:08 PM  
SOmeone bored at work and having a goof.
 
2010-03-28 01:39:06 PM  
I worked in a lab, and we ordered some essentially priceless genetically engineered mice from Holland into the US. This is a huge pain since the mice were genetically altered and there are all sorts of bureaucratic restrictions involved in exporting such things from the EU. Anyhow, after months of paperwork, they finally shipped them. The week they were supposed to arrive, my boss got a phone call from the shipping company which said, "I apologize for the inconvenience, but there seems to be an issue with your shipment. It appears that your mice were loaded onto the tarmac of the airport, where they were run over by a truck. Although we are not doctors, we do not see any observable motion from their crate, so we believe they are all dead. Do you still want them?" Fortunately my boss saw the humor in it, even though it delayed our work by several months.
 
2010-03-28 01:41:39 PM  
 
jvl [BareFark]
2010-03-28 01:42:29 PM  
Why would anyone call Amazon to ask where the package is and wait on the phone for an extended period? That's what God invented tracking numbers for.

Two weeks ago UPS lost a package of mine. Amazon overnighted the replacement. If an Alligator had eaten a package, Amazon would have sent a new one. So either this story is shenanigans or the Amazon operator was the best troll ever.
 
2010-03-28 01:44:53 PM  

skinink: Newegg and Amazon.com. Those are the only two places I need for a majority of what I have to buy. I try to go to brick and mortar places, but the last few times (Radio Shack and Best Buy) were a hassle. The only reason my visit to Micro Center was fine is because that store is designed for geeks who know what they need to buy.


[happy sigh] Amen to that. They're also one of the few stores I've ever, ever been to in my life that has customer help on the floor down pat - leave me alone until I have a confused look in my eyes/start scanning for an employee, ask if I need help, help me find where [thing I need] is now shelved, then leave. So wonderful.
 
2010-03-28 01:46:31 PM  
/oblig (new window)
 
2010-03-28 01:47:40 PM  
Bullshiat story, bro'.

Who phones customer service to track a package?
 
2010-03-28 01:58:00 PM  
I didn't know that Alligators lived in the Amazon.
 
2010-03-28 01:58:23 PM  

jaytkay: Bullshiat story, bro'.

Who phones customer service to track a package?


The same sort of hold-my-hand, customer-is-always-right douches that frequent the Consumerist, obviously.
 
2010-03-28 01:59:16 PM  

jaytkay: Bullshiat story, bro'.

Who phones customer service to track a package?


Very crafty, very hungry alligators.
 
2010-03-28 02:00:34 PM  
www.junkyardwillie.com

Touch Tone Terrorists shenanigans.

They reserved a bunch of "frequently misdialed" nearly-UPS-customer-service. Willie's "Hell if I know... maybe it fell off the truck... could be floatin' down the river for all I care" (new window)

That was epic... "Three days late? Now who's fault is dat? You should'a sent the damn thing a little sooner. You dreamin' if you think it's gonna be there on time."
 
2010-03-28 02:03:13 PM  

nasaboy007: /oblig (new window)


That would have been better if all it had was the thought balloon and not the romero.
 
2010-03-28 02:04:24 PM  

uberhund72: I didn't know that Alligators lived in the Amazon.


They have mini alligators
 
2010-03-28 02:06:04 PM  
Well, what are you gonna do? There are no people needing jobs here in the US, so it's up to people in other countries to Fark shiat up for us.
 
2010-03-28 02:06:12 PM  
UPS has lost two Amazon shipments over the last 5 years - I called Amazon on both occasions and they overnighted replacements, no questions asked. Both of the original shipments eventually arrived - one was delayed by about two weeks with no explanation from UPS and the other was delivered to my neighbor down the street who brought it back two days later.

I have had 0 problems with Amazon customer service over the years.
 
2010-03-28 02:10:01 PM  
If the dude checks his list of outgoing goings, he'll find he misdialed and called the amazon, not Amazon.
 
2010-03-28 02:13:55 PM  

jaytkay: Bullshiat story, bro'.

Who phones customer service to track a package?


schief2: The same sort of hold-my-hand, customer-is-always-right douches that frequent the Consumerist, obviously.


That's the likely explanation. Jerkoff acts like a jerkoff. Customer service rep rightly farks with his head, is still laughing about it today.)
 
2010-03-28 02:14:04 PM  

flaming99: UPS has lost two Amazon shipments over the last 5 years - I called Amazon on both occasions and they overnighted replacements, no questions asked. Both of the original shipments eventually arrived - one was delayed by about two weeks with no explanation from UPS and the other was delivered to my neighbor down the street who brought it back two days later.

I have had 0 problems with Amazon customer service over the years.


The only two times I had probles with Amazon was buying from sellers listed on Amazon. AntOnline carefully packaged a broken item and shipped it to me--Amazon refunded my money and I quit buying from any Amazon seller besides Amazon or fulfilled by Amazon sellers.

The other time was a local idiot who cobbled together a battery charging unit from stuff they bought a Goodwill then sold it as like new used. They included an AC wall unit (with a Goodwill price sticker on it) which should have been a DC wall unit. They also decided to go on vacation for a week before shipping my order. Nice.

Again I got my money back via Amazon and returned to my ways of not buying anything from sellers listing on Amazon.

/this excludes DVDs
 
2010-03-28 02:16:05 PM  
I'll get me broom stick....
 
2010-03-28 02:16:28 PM  
cdn2.knowyourmeme.com
 
2010-03-28 02:17:31 PM  
Had me worried for a second. Checked, still have my package, no teeth marks.
 
zez
2010-03-28 02:20:20 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: skinink: Newegg and Amazon.com. Those are the only two places I need for a majority of what I have to buy. I try to go to brick and mortar places, but the last few times (Radio Shack and Best Buy) were a hassle. The only reason my visit to Micro Center was fine is because that store is designed for geeks who know what they need to buy.

[happy sigh] Amen to that. They're also one of the few stores I've ever, ever been to in my life that has customer help on the floor down pat - leave me alone until I have a confused look in my eyes/start scanning for an employee, ask if I need help, help me find where [thing I need] is now shelved, then leave. So wonderful.


My last visit there I was buying some cheap stuff I needed to complete a computer out of old parts I had laying around. I grabbed the cheapest power supplies they had and was looking at some other stuff when an employee comes up to me and says that he wouldn't recommend that PS. I told him I know it's cheap but it's just for an extra whitebox I was building. He says , "That's not the problem, we're been getting some returns from them catching on fire."

I thanked him and got the next cheapest, but I'm still wondering why they were still selling them if they were so dangerous.
 
2010-03-28 02:39:49 PM  
If it was eaten by an alligator I don't see how this was Amazon's fault. If that what was written in the account notes that is what the rep is supposed to say.

I had one problem with a production that I bought from Amazon and they took care of it quickly and efficiently.

I bought a Battlestar Galactica box set that gave me an extra disc of one and was missing another. After a bit of digging around the website I found a customer service number. I called it and had to wait for a call back which came within 5 minutes. After explaining the situation which didn't take long Amazon sent me a replacement with a return sticker for the original. I realize that the packaging should of been correct, however, I don't think the problem was Amazon's but the disc manufacturer. Amazon did take care the problem with minimal effort on my end.
 
2010-03-28 02:49:51 PM  

cptjeff: I'll just leave this here:


That makes me wonder if that's one of their preprogrammed macros, and if so, what else do they have? "Air cargo hijack"? "Ebola outbreak"?
 
2010-03-28 02:56:23 PM  

schief2: cptjeff: I'll just leave this here:

That makes me wonder if that's one of their preprogrammed macros, and if so, what else do they have? "Air cargo hijack"? "Ebola outbreak"?


Alien attack? Rapture? Pterodactyl? Twilight Zone marathon?
 
2010-03-28 03:01:19 PM  

edmo: Had me worried for a second. Checked, still have my package, no teeth marks.


I usually get charged extra if I want teeth marks on my package.
 
2010-03-28 03:01:25 PM  

DeaH: jehovahs witness protection: This is what you get when you outsource to India.

Actually, most of the call centers are outsourcing to Cebu. That's the pace where the prisoners did the Jackson dance.


They also did Hare Hare Yukai, among others.
 
2010-03-28 03:03:15 PM  

edmo: Had me worried for a second. Checked, still have my package, no teeth marks.


An Amazon once left teethmarks on my package...
 
2010-03-28 03:05:10 PM  
Shakes fist at PJMurphy
 
rp.
2010-03-28 03:07:35 PM  
Came for Bruno Ponce Jones, leaving disappointed.
 
2010-03-28 03:11:46 PM  

penthesilea: schief2: cptjeff: I'll just leave this here:

That makes me wonder if that's one of their preprogrammed macros, and if so, what else do they have? "Air cargo hijack"? "Ebola outbreak"?

Alien attack? Rapture? Pterodactyl? Twilight Zone marathon?


Crashed on deserted island with Tom Hanks, who is currently using a volleyball he named "Wilson" to keep his sanity?
 
2010-03-28 03:24:03 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: penthesilea: schief2: cptjeff: I'll just leave this here:

That makes me wonder if that's one of their preprogrammed macros, and if so, what else do they have? "Air cargo hijack"? "Ebola outbreak"?

Alien attack? Rapture? Pterodactyl? Twilight Zone marathon?

Crashed on deserted island with Tom Hanks, who is currently using a volleyball he named "Wilson" to keep his sanity?



"Fold, Spindle and Mutilate"
 
2010-03-28 03:24:10 PM  

schief2: cptjeff: I'll just leave this here:

That makes me wonder if that's one of their preprogrammed macros, and if so, what else do they have? "Air cargo hijack"? "Ebola outbreak"?


Well, I know FedEX has one that says "USED BY TOM HANKS TO MAKE FIRE ON ISLAND"
 
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