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(details.com)   How to stay sucessfully married to a porn star: Rule 1 - Never ask her how how her day was at work   (details.com) divider line 216
    More: Interesting, Studio City, San Fernando Valley, executive assistant, porn stars, completions, porn sites, window, sex life  
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42409 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2010 at 11:56 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-03-28 01:33:15 PM
No. Thank you.
 
2010-03-28 01:38:05 PM
FTA: "On the downside, though, there are guys having sex with your wife."

That's a hell of a downside.
 
2010-03-28 01:39:33 PM
Porn-stars are like prostitutes--they arent real people.

/keeding.
 
2010-03-28 01:42:23 PM
cookiefleck: just passing through: cookiefleck:
...At a certain point, it's like "okay, enough" (that's the vagina talking)


That gave me a bad mental image.

A vagina did once say something like, "PLAPT! PLAPT!" to me, but she had an air bubble. Actual English words would have made me lose my fatty and flee to the bathroom.
 
2010-03-28 01:42:31 PM
heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?
 
2010-03-28 01:42:46 PM
"I got a text message from her that said 'I've been ripped,'" he recalls. Skyline had been shooting a scene with Billy Glide, a porn star who's nicknamed the Human Wine Bottle, and his oversize penis tore the inside of her vagina.

How much force do you have to use to 'tear a pussy up'?
 
2010-03-28 01:43:17 PM
The Human Wine Bottle aka Billy Glide
NSFW (new window)
 
2010-03-28 01:43:32 PM
cookiefleck: just passing through: cookiefleck:
Risk of not being warmed up first... sounds like she needed a good fluffer, or whatever they call it for women. I'm sure that if she had been ready, she would've loved it... you know, the size thing and all

No, if its big enough to be ripping your love cave then the pleasure has been tossed out the window...At a certain point, it's like "okay, enough" (that's the vagina talking)


I'm sure there's a line somewhere, and I'm sure it varies by woman... but I've seen some women do some pretty amazing (and scary) things when they're turned on
 
2010-03-28 01:45:47 PM
i dated a stripper for a little while and really had no issue with her 'job'. i could never marry a damn porn star though. that would just suck.

at what point does a chick become a pornstar and not just some woman that bones on film? is there some sort of transition i'm unaware of?
 
2010-03-28 01:46:02 PM
moof: heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?


I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....
 
2010-03-28 01:48:52 PM
cookiefleck:

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....


You have to test your own product. Ya' know, for quality control purposes.

Amirite?

/...guys?
 
2010-03-28 01:49:08 PM
cookiefleck: moof: heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....



I take it you've never met "teh gheyz"
 
2010-03-28 01:51:02 PM
cookiefleck:
I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....


that's why we have gf's
 
2010-03-28 01:52:49 PM
Dreamless: cookiefleck:

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....

You have to test your own product. Ya' know, for quality control purposes.

Amirite?

/...guys?


You're on your own on that one buddy...I had a roomate in college who whacked his bag to just about anything and he used a farking sock....And never washed it for the entire year I was rooming with this guy. The whole room reaked of baby batter, but he was oblivious to the smell, either a) because he's a sick asshole, or b) he really just didn't care...I'm gonna go with option "B"
 
2010-03-28 01:52:51 PM
hicksfa2: cookiefleck: moof: heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....


I take it you've never met "teh gheyz"


I meant straight dudes...Ive playfully made a snowball joke and the guys recoil in terror like nicolas cage did when he watched the snuff film in "8 mm"
 
2010-03-28 01:54:37 PM
cookiefleck: hicksfa2: cookiefleck: moof: heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....


I take it you've never met "teh gheyz"

I meant straight dudes...Ive playfully made a snowball joke and the guys recoil in terror like nicolas cage did when he watched the snuff film in "8 mm"


Well I mean, I've KNOWINGLY played Ookie Cookie before...But that was really just to piss off this asshole who thought it'd be a grand idea to piss me off one too many times in a week.
 
2010-03-28 01:58:31 PM
hicksfa2:
You're on your own on that one buddy...I had a roomate in college who whacked his bag to just about anything and he used a farking sock....And never washed it for the entire year I was rooming with this guy. The whole room reaked of baby batter, but he was oblivious to the smell, either a) because he's a sick asshole, or b) he really just didn't care...I'm gonna go with option "B"


Well that is just unhygienic and rude. My brother used to leave tissues under his bed. I mean, how lazy can you be?

cookiefleck:

I meant straight dudes...Ive playfully made a snowball joke and the guys recoil in terror like nicolas cage did when he watched the snuff film in "8 mm"


Well, all kidding aside, I don't see how ingesting one's own semen is any gayer than masturbating in the first place. It's different when it's your own.

And, at the risk of TMI, my lady gets off when I ejaculate in my own mouth, and I aim to please...
 
2010-03-28 01:59:06 PM
cxl9: Sgt Otter: I'd love to see a dictionary of the porn industry's insider jargon.

Yes. I went looking for it, and found this.

Interestingly, no "jawbreaker". Perhaps that's regional dialect.

"Pnigophilia" is there, though.


"Chili dog" cracked me up.
 
2010-03-28 02:00:21 PM
Dreamless: hicksfa2:

Well, all kidding aside, I don't see how ingesting one's own semen is any gayer than masturbating in the first place. It's different when it's your own.

And, at the risk of TMI, my lady gets off when I ejaculate in my own mouth, and I aim to please...


You can suck your own dick?
 
2010-03-28 02:02:43 PM
cookiefleck:

You can suck your own dick?


Hah! I wish I were so well-endowed. It's more a matter of flexibility and precision. Maybe some day, if I take up yoga...
 
2010-03-28 02:04:28 PM
hicksfa2: cookiefleck: hicksfa2: cookiefleck: moof: heyheyjerky: I've dated a couple of porn chicks.. gia jordan and naudia nyce... and you don't really date porn chicks, you just take your turn with them...

A GIS for Gia Joran turns up a pick of her spitting a mouthful of cum into some porn guy's mouth.. Is she like that in private life too?

I dont know any guy that willfully and knowingly will want their own cum in their mouth....


I take it you've never met "teh gheyz"

I meant straight dudes...Ive playfully made a snowball joke and the guys recoil in terror like nicolas cage did when he watched the snuff film in "8 mm"

Well I mean, I've KNOWINGLY played Ookie Cookie before...But that was really just to piss off this asshole who thought it'd be a grand idea to piss me off one too many times in a week.


not sure if i want to know this but...what's ookie cookie?
 
2010-03-28 02:05:52 PM
This guy has some self esteem issues. I'm guessing he didn't have too much luck with the ladies prior to this. She probably likes him as he is the only guy she knows not trying to get in her pants.
 
2010-03-28 02:05:57 PM
cookiefleck: just passing through: cookiefleck:
Risk of not being warmed up first... sounds like she needed a good fluffer, or whatever they call it for women. I'm sure that if she had been ready, she would've loved it... you know, the size thing and all

No, if its big enough to be ripping your love cave then the pleasure has been tossed out the window...At a certain point, it's like "okay, enough" (that's the vagina talking)


So well said! I totally agree. BTW, love the "love cave" expression. Hope you don't mind if I plagiarize? Never heard that before; it's witty.
 
2010-03-28 02:06:44 PM
SavvyLemur:
not sure if i want to know this but...what's ookie cookie?


I imagine it's some variant of soggy biscuit.
 
2010-03-28 02:08:19 PM
Dreamless:
And, at the risk of TMI, my lady gets off when I ejaculate in my own mouth, and I aim to please...


dude...
 
2010-03-28 02:11:00 PM
She's nothing special. Especially with those fake tits.
/I've done better

"... She never orgasms in porn. That's for us. If it happened on the set, it would be a little weird."

I've got some bad news for ya, Bill...
 
2010-03-28 02:11:15 PM
SavvyLemur:
not sure if i want to know this but...what's ookie cookie?


New Window
 
2010-03-28 02:11:54 PM
what the human wine bottle may look like:

www.racheshop.de
 
2010-03-28 02:12:09 PM
Why do otherwise beautiful women get large back tattoos? Don't they know that it makes them look like...well, pornstars? If I go on a date with a girl that has a tattoo larger than a small butterfly I am assuming I am getting laid and then never talking to her again. Tattoos are for whores and I am going to treat you like one if you have them.
 
2010-03-28 02:15:29 PM
Dude, Rule #1 is "no poofters."
 
2010-03-28 02:15:35 PM
Dreamless: SavvyLemur:
not sure if i want to know this but...what's ookie cookie?

I imagine it's some variant of soggy biscuit.


Basically. You grab a cookie, or a hard biscuit, and deposit your "reproductive juices" upon its surface. And then leave it on a plate with a glass of milk and tell the farker you did it to to "enjoy the snack".

It's more out of disrespect if anything. lol
 
2010-03-28 02:17:05 PM
TCManger: Why do otherwise beautiful women get large back tattoos? Don't they know that it makes them look like...well, pornstars? If I go on a date with a girl that has a tattoo larger than a small butterfly I am assuming I am getting laid and then never talking to her again. Tattoos are for whores and I am going to treat you like one if you have them.

Now that you mention it, it would help a woman sort the A's from the B's when it comes to the attitude of prospective sexual partners...
 
2010-03-28 02:17:20 PM
This article is old as hell. Subby fails at life.
 
2010-03-28 02:31:52 PM
Whoreable: This article is old as hell.

I was thinking the same thing. I haven't read Details in *years* and I know I've seen this exact same article before, because I'd never heard of the "human wine bottle" guy before.
 
2010-03-28 02:34:18 PM
My life is in a serious mess,
My baby is gone, there's heavy mental stress
I never knew love but I know it now,
I wanna give her my heart, but how how

I never knew love but I know it now,
I wanna give her my heart, but how how
How How

/It's a song - Yello
 
2010-03-28 02:36:03 PM
unfarkingbelievable: cookiefleck: just passing through: cookiefleck:
Risk of not being warmed up first... sounds like she needed a good fluffer, or whatever they call it for women. I'm sure that if she had been ready, she would've loved it... you know, the size thing and all

No, if its big enough to be ripping your love cave then the pleasure has been tossed out the window...At a certain point, it's like "okay, enough" (that's the vagina talking)

So well said! I totally agree. BTW, love the "love cave" expression. Hope you don't mind if I plagiarize? Never heard that before; it's witty.



If you marry a porn star, the "love cave" would probably have one hell of an echo...


/just sayin'
 
2010-03-28 02:44:09 PM
Whoreable: This article is old as hell. Subby fails at life.

It was 1 year and 7 months old. It provoked meaningful and hilarious discussion here in the thread, and hasn't been featured on FARK before (to the best of my knowlege).

Would you discount a discussion of Shakespear under "book is old as hell."?

Face it, you're being a total dick.
 
2010-03-28 02:47:24 PM
"She hardly ever wears her wedding ring, even off-set," Bill says. "Why be ashamed of being married?" Sky insists that it's not a matter of shame. "I don't want to get typecast as a MILF," she says.

So he doesn't get to have sex with her often, she doesn't like to publicly acknowledge that she's married and she sounds kinda dumb. What's the attraction?
 
2010-03-28 02:49:01 PM
MadSkillz:
It provoked meaningful and hilarious discussion



well, let's not get carried away...
 
2010-03-28 02:49:02 PM
cxl9: I went looking for it, and found this.

Term: Manuxorate
Definition: Male using his hands to masturbate.

I think masturbatory accessories are a sign you're clearly not getting enough real vaginae.

Also, FTA:

WIN:
Brown sees it as beneficial to their open relationship. He and Skyline recently had a threesome with a boyhood friend of his (he ranks as a hero among his pals), and she occasionally brings home costars. "Girlfriends of mine call and say that they want to come by for a swim," Skyline says. "I say, 'Yeah, it's okay. You can f**k him.'"

FAIL:
"We went with a couple of my girlfriends to hang out in their hotel room," Star says, sitting on the terrace of a Japanese restaurant overlooking the Sunset Strip. "Then this music-producer dude showed up and all of a sudden these girls were running around in their panties." She shrugs. "My friends are porno. That's the way it is."
"I happily left," Austin (the husband) says. "Those girls were trash."
 
2010-03-28 02:52:09 PM
Jesus, each one of those guys looks defeated. What kind of awful experience with women does one have to suffer before saying, "fark it, I'll marry this used snatch."
 
2010-03-28 02:58:01 PM
farm4.static.flickr.comfarm4.static.flickr.com

how how
 
2010-03-28 03:02:21 PM
casdawg87: The Human Wine Bottle aka Billy Glide
NSFW (new window)


That's called forced perspective: his dick is much closer from the camera than the girl's head. It's just a trick angle that makes it look like she's about to put it in her mouth.

Dreamless: And, at the risk of TMI, my lady gets off when I ejaculate in my own mouth, and I aim to please...

does she at least return the favor and squirts in her mouth afterward? The only mouth you should aim at with your junk is not your own.
 
2010-03-28 03:06:41 PM
cookiefleck: Ouch on bein ripped by human wine bottle! That sounds liek it would be horribly painful and very dangerous!

That's really interesting coming from you. Due to another "girth" thread, I have you Farked as:
Size queen! Loves the cucumber cawk!
 
2010-03-28 03:12:38 PM
Light Fuse Get Away: FTA: she has time to attend college (majoring in women's studies).

I lol'd. Isn't that like majoring in feminism? I bet they LOVE that she's a porn star...


Half of her classmates will take it as an opportunity to evangelize the feminist gospel to her, that all sex is violence. The other half will applaud her for taking control of her sexuality and being an empowered and enlightened cum dumpster.
 
2010-03-28 03:16:10 PM
shadowself: How to stay sucessfully married to a porn star: Rule 1 - Never ask her how how her day was at work

Your post was perhaps the funniest thing I've seen all day. Well played. +1.
 
2010-03-28 03:21:05 PM
TwistedIvory: cookiefleck: Ouch on bein ripped by human wine bottle! That sounds liek it would be horribly painful and very dangerous!

That's really interesting coming from you. Due to another "girth" thread, I have you Farked as:
Size queen! Loves the cucumber cawk!


Uh, not a size queen, more of a "know what you're doin" queen. Having a big one is good but if you don't know what the hell to do with it and end up tearing my vagine, get ready to have me stab you in the eye with my heel. If yours is that "wine bottle" big it may be just alittle too much.
 
2010-03-28 03:22:41 PM
hicksfa2:
Well I mean, I've KNOWINGLY played Ookie Cookie before...But that was really just to piss off this asshole who thought it'd be a grand idea to piss me off one too many times in a week.


not to be an ITG here - but i am quite certain i would kill a motherfarker for doing that to me. not bragging in any way- i just dont think i'd be able to control the rage.

that is vile. not to mention extremely dangerous. i hope you're full of crap and didn't actually do that. otherwise you truly are a disgusting human being.

And don't "lighten up francis" me on this one either. that's another man's semen. in your mouth. that's gross enough solicited.
 
2010-03-28 03:26:58 PM
cookiefleck:
Uh, not a size queen, more of a "know what you're doin" queen. Having a big one is good but if you don't know what the hell to do with it and end up tearing my vagine, get ready to have me stab you in the eye with my heel. If yours is that "wine bottle" big it may be just alittle too much.


i love a woman in heels...
 
2010-03-28 03:28:56 PM
so she's a porn star who's trying to get a degree in "womens studied", married to a wuss, she doesn't wear her wedding ring, she has to schedule sex with her tiny dicked hubby. And to top it all off she makes all the money.

That dude needs to start socking away some money because his days are numbered. There are so many degrees of farked up here it's not even funny. I love porn, and Ive experimented in the the swingers lifestyle before with previous g/f's, but knowing that every day she's going to get up and go take a 14" black cock up her ass is a little too much for me.

Everyone in that article sounds dumb as bricks, living in their own little fantasy world. I love porn, but let's face it when you are in 5th grade and the teacher asks you what you want to be when you grow up, has any kid ever actually said "I want to bang big black dicks for money", nope I didn't think so.
 
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