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(Chicago Breaking News)   Some group of asshats thinks Ronald McDonald should retire   (chicagobreakingbusiness.com) divider line 109
    More: Stupid, watchdog groups, McDonald, foie gras, Oak Brook, Animal Farm, Chief Happiness Officer  
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7967 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2010 at 12:45 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-27 10:00:27 AM
I'll just leave this here.
i444.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-27 10:05:45 AM
omg fark you for posting that. i could have gone my whole life without seeing that.lol

i would have to agree that ronald mcdonald should retire. he is creepy.

/dnrtfa
//why is there a kfc bucket on the table? LOL
 
2010-03-27 10:25:56 AM
i220.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-27 10:32:51 AM
Can't decide which pic is more disturbing.

Well done.
 
2010-03-27 10:40:33 AM
He probably should.
 
2010-03-27 10:52:16 AM
Donald_McRonald: He probably should.

Conflict of interest!
 
2010-03-27 11:09:28 AM
Lots of quality nightmare fuel in this thread already. I have high hopes.
 
2010-03-27 11:17:31 AM
img707.imageshack.us
He won't go quietly!
 
2010-03-27 11:31:18 AM
Why is Ronald MacDonald, the grotesquely made-up and attired being, so far from MacDonaldland, the only place where he could fit in? Obviously, he's in exile.

A few years ago in MacDonaldLand, Mayor McCheese, having grown paranoid and megalomaniacal in his years secluded in his mayoral residence, declared a state of emergency. He rationalized this act by pointing out increased felonious activities by the Hamburgler, and obliquely referring to rumors that those French-Fry Weasels (whose names I forget) were carrying some sort of disease. Mayor McCheese's brother, the police officer with a similarly hamburger-shaped head (whose name I also forget), rounded up the Hamburgler, the Hamburgler's family, business associates of the Hamburgler, the French-Fry Weasels, and any life forms in MacDonaldLand who veered too much from basic hamburger-humanoid form. These purges were justified by a new theory of eugenics, which stated that large, round, flat heads with lettuce in them are signs of a higher form of life, a sort of Hamburgerubermensch, who were divinely granted sole political power of MacDonaldLand. Obviously, Ronald MacDonald, not being a Hamburgerubermensch, did not fit it, and yet the people would not accept his execution, since he was beloved by all and besides his great-grandfather, Helmut MacDonald, founded MacDonaldLand, so instead of being killed or forced to work in the salt mines with the other victims of the purges or being ground into a paste and turned into Big Macs for sale abroad, he was exiled to the United States, due to the friendly relations the United States had always had with MacDonaldLand, a result of the tireless efforts of the US Ambassador to MacDonaldLand, Ray A. Kroc.

But then, why would Ronald MacDonald just casually try to talk the young girl out of running away to MacDonaldLand, instead of sternly warning her against the dangers there? Obviously, he harbors a great resentment against Americans. Perhaps he is angry that we did not intervene and stop the human rights abuses perpetrated by Mayor McCheese (after all, the declaration of a state of emergency did happen during the Reagan Presidency), or perhaps he's just a snob. "Stupid Americans!" he mutters to himself at night, as he sits at his formica table while drinking cheap coffee and reading the only MacDonaldLand-language newspaper printed in the U.S., "they dress like fools! Drab colors...no bright yellow smocks or oversized red shoes...and like barbarians, they do not paint their faces! When I show them the sign of the arches, they stare at me as if I'd gone mad! Were they educated with pigs?" Late at night, he hangs around the mini- playgrounds built outside of MacDonald's franchises. "It is, so little," he whispers, before taking a swig of bourbon from a bottle he thinks he's hiding in a paper bag, "but it reminds me of home."


Have these people no compassion for a political exile?
 
2010-03-27 11:32:51 AM
GIS for ronald mcdonald and this is among the first 5 results:

dev.null.org
 
2010-03-27 12:03:49 PM
www.popaganda.com
www.popaganda.com
www.juxtapoz.com

/Ron English
 
2010-03-27 12:48:35 PM
jehovahs witness protection: I'll just leave this here.

Can't sleep, clown will eat me...
 
2010-03-27 12:49:06 PM
i79.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-27 12:49:08 PM
Okay, these people are obnoxious, but Ronald needs to be retired. He's creepy as fark.

Also, while we're on the topic of clowns.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hg8keQh6Ajo
 
2010-03-27 12:50:04 PM
Link (new window)

Okay, that's better.
 
2010-03-27 12:55:54 PM
I'm sure all these morbidly obese children are purchasing their own fast food, and their parents have absolutely no involvement what-so-ever.

/kids are naive, but parents are idiots.
 
2010-03-27 12:56:05 PM
www.uphaa.com

www.uphaa.com

And the classic that I'll just link to because it's Mildly NSFW (new window)
 
2010-03-27 12:56:15 PM
Corporate Accountability International, which has waged campaigns against bottled water companies and tobacco companies, said it plans to present the results of a survey Wednesday showing that most Americans agree.

There's simply no way you asshats surveyed "most Americans". Your sample size could not possibly be big enough to justify such a conclusion.
 
2010-03-27 12:57:02 PM
In this case does "corporate accountability advocates" = busybodies who need a better hobby?

larussophobe.files.wordpress.com

/Hot
 
2010-03-27 12:59:23 PM
TheSilverOne: Link (new window)

Okay, that's better.


I'm done with the internet. I'm going outside...
 
2010-03-27 01:00:30 PM
The Face Of Oblivion: Corporate Accountability International, which has waged campaigns against bottled water companies and tobacco companies, said it plans to present the results of a survey Wednesday showing that most Americans agree.

There's simply no way you asshats surveyed "most Americans". Your sample size could not possibly be big enough to justify such a conclusion.


Came here to say this. It could very well be a poll showing 51% of the sample with a 3% margin of error agree and a group will frantically trot it out as, "LOOK! MOST AMERICANS AGREE!"

This is obviously, a preferred media tactic-- so obvious I think it even made it to that Cracked list from a few days ago.
 
2010-03-27 01:00:34 PM
hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com
There is absolutely no causal link between advertising and behavior...
 
2010-03-27 01:01:31 PM
B1llz0r: TheSilverOne: Link (new window)

Okay, that's better.

I'm done with the internet. I'm going outside...


Seriously, they showed that on AotS the other day, and it was the first time I was ever embarrassed watching a YouTube video. Epic Fail, indeed.
 
2010-03-27 01:02:14 PM
Wow this one scared the hell out of me and had me laughing non stop at the same time!

jaysolomon.files.wordpress.com
 
2010-03-27 01:02:27 PM
I agree ... it's time for him and Mad magazine to die.
 
2010-03-27 01:02:54 PM
The Face Of Oblivion: There's simply no way you asshats surveyed "most Americans". Your sample size could not possibly be big enough to justify such a conclusion.

They could, however, I'm going to say that "having people sign it voluntarily" is not exactly a good means of determining this.

Also, everyone in the linked group should be shot in the face 10,000 times with a mayonnaise gun for using the "word" "sitings". That's way more disgusting than any McDonald's meal and McDonald's sucks, comparatively.
 
2010-03-27 01:03:06 PM
Does McDonald's really even use Ronald or any of the other characters that much anymore? Granted, I don't watch much children's programming, but I haven't seen any of them in a commercial in years.
 
2010-03-27 01:04:00 PM
...and then I remembered the no bad words rule :/
 
2010-03-27 01:06:26 PM
FTA: Corporate Accountability International, which has waged campaigns against bottled water companies and tobacco companies, said it plans to present the results of a survey Wednesday showing that most Americans agree.

Or should that be rephrased to say "results of a survey we pulled out of our ass to prove whatever conclusion we came up with over coffee and a smoke this morning."
 
2010-03-27 01:06:26 PM
FTA: A coalition of health professionals, parents and corporate accountability advocates is calling for Ronald McDonald to retire as a spokesman for the nation's largest restaurant chain, saying he has too much influence on kids.

Hey, farkheads, you know who should have even more influence on kids? Their farking parents, who buy the stuff they shovel into their pieholes. Maybe if more parents could learn to say no to their precious little angels there would be fewer of them inflating to Jabba-esque proportions.
 
2010-03-27 01:06:34 PM
moike: www.uphaa.com

I shouldn't find this hot, but I do.
 
2010-03-27 01:06:34 PM
If you retie him, he'll just come back.
/On a USPS Stamp, idiots.
//Which you will have to buy.
///Paying for ads? It's like an ISP.
 
2010-03-27 01:08:02 PM
silentneep: moike:

I shouldn't find this hot, but I do.


she's a double amputee, so, what are you saying?
 
2010-03-27 01:08:07 PM
TheSilverOne: B1llz0r: TheSilverOne: Link (new window)

Okay, that's better.

I'm done with the internet. I'm going outside...

Seriously, they showed that on AotS the other day, and it was the first time I was ever embarrassed watching a YouTube video. Epic Fail, indeed.


And it was uploaded by the creators, no less. Reading the usual cesspool of Youtube comments it's getting, I give it about three days before they pull it.

/saved a copy to torment future clown threads with
 
2010-03-27 01:09:58 PM
vudukungfu: silentneep: moike:

I shouldn't find this hot, but I do.

she's a double amputee, so, what are you saying?


Mostly that she has a nice ass and appears to be willing to give head to clowns, so I might have a shot.
 
2010-03-27 01:13:39 PM
I am more than a few decades past childhood, but Ronald is an old enough mascot that he was there when I was a child. I don't remember that Ronald McDonald ever influenced where I wanted to go out to eat. Mostly we went to Burger King, because there wasn't a McDonalds very close to our house. If a McDonalds was closer when we decided to stop then we went there. Not that we went to either all that often.

/Location Location Location etc etc etc.
//I hope Creepy King doesn't influence kids today.
///That SpongeBob/Burger King commercial was pedo-scary.
 
2010-03-27 01:13:43 PM
Sounds like a good idea...

3.bp.blogspot.com

www.babble.com
 
2010-03-27 01:14:18 PM
silentneep: willing to give head to clowns

need to add that to my personals profile
 
2010-03-27 01:14:52 PM
Leave Ronald alone!
 
2010-03-27 01:17:00 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2010-03-27 01:19:10 PM
Ball of Confusion: There is absolutely no causal link between advertising and behavior...

That advert let plenty of camel-faced, drop-out, smoking losers feel good about themselves.
 
2010-03-27 01:19:33 PM
thomps: GIS for ronald mcdonald and this is among the first 5 results:

Try "Ronald McDonald porn"*.

/rule 34 delivers
*SafeSearch off as it should be
 
2010-03-27 01:20:47 PM
images.teamsugar.com

lol
 
2010-03-27 01:23:22 PM
inkling79: Does McDonald's really even use Ronald or any of the other characters that much anymore? Granted, I don't watch much children's programming, but I haven't seen any of them in a commercial in years.

Not really but seems all those that were kids 10-15 years ago are still butthurt and traumatized by their experiences. That or their parents didn't beat them enough.
 
2010-03-27 01:24:42 PM
There was an awesome picture they showed on an old episode of the Conan O'Brian show once and I've never been able to find it anywhere.

It was a picture of Ronald McDonald chopping a cow in half.

I wanted a t-shirt of it.
 
2010-03-27 01:24:52 PM
Couldn't we hire the Hamburgler to arrange some kind of "accident"?
 
2010-03-27 01:29:55 PM
Foaming: Couldn't we hire the Hamburgler to arrange some kind of "accident"?

Dial "M" for McMurder ?
 
2010-03-27 01:30:16 PM
My favorite version of Ronald: Link (new window)
 
2010-03-27 01:33:41 PM
Foaming: Couldn't we hire the Hamburgler to arrange some kind of "accident"?

I think this guy would be better suited.

img.photobucket.com

Stabble stabble!
 
2010-03-27 01:38:16 PM
tuffsnake: ...and then I remembered the no bad words rule :/

Fark's been pussified to the point people worry that 'shiat' is a bad word? Damn it.
 
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