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(TwinCities.com)   Man achieves flawless "WTF is wrong with you" victory, beats up quadruple amputee roommate when she blocked his view of the TV   (twincities.com) divider line 112
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13117 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Mar 2010 at 1:12 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-03-26 11:03:45 PM
well, she did ask for it.

/just sayin'
/window seat please
 
2010-03-26 11:21:42 PM
gosh, that sounds too sad to even open up the article
 
2010-03-26 11:38:42 PM
llnw.image.cbslocal.com
 
2010-03-26 11:51:23 PM
To be fair, he asked her to move several times.

/BRB, hellmouth just opened under my desk...
 
2010-03-27 12:07:26 AM
"The victim tried to gain access to her phone and manipulate the keys, which was difficult for her to do because of her handicap, but the defendant swiped her phone away and would not give it back"

/call me an asshole, but the imagery of that just had me cracking up laughing
 
2010-03-27 12:12:22 AM
I wish that I hadn't read that article :(
 
2010-03-27 12:21:04 AM
How drunk and/or high was he?
 
2010-03-27 12:21:34 AM
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs blocking the TV?

Dooris
 
2010-03-27 12:22:47 AM
Where do you find someone with no arms or legs?

Right where you left 'em.
 
2010-03-27 12:23:24 AM
Can you imagine being that person? That person who decides beating a quadriplegic is ok? Of course their crime is messed up, but it's also pretty sad that they ever matured to a position where this behavior seemed like good behavior.
 
2010-03-27 12:27:15 AM
When I was younger, I would punch my brother if he was being an asshole and blocking the TV. Then again, HE WASN'T HANDICAPPED.

Joke of the day:

Joe goes to pick up his blind date at her house and when he gets there he finds out she has no arms and no legs. He's a good sport, so he picks her up, puts her in his car, and takes her to a movie. When the movie's over, he picks her up again and puts her back in the car.

She says, "Do you have any rope in the car?"

He says, "Rope? Why yes, I have some rope."

She says, "Do you know that big old oak with the real low limb down the dark corner of the park?"

Joe says, "Yeah."

She says, "Why don't you take us there?"

When they get there, she has Joe get out the rope, undress her, and then she gives him explicit instructions how to use the rope to suspend her from the limb. And then, they proceed to have the wildest sex that Joe has ever had. When they're done, Joe drives her home, carries her inside, and puts her on the living room couch.

As he's leaving, her father grabs him by the arm and says, "Here, son," and goes to hand Joe a hundred dollars.

Joe says, "I can't take that, sir."

Her father says, "Please, son, take the money."

Joe says, "I can't, sir. You see ... I had sex with your daughter."

Her father says, "Of course you did. But at least you didn't leave her hanging from that f*cking tree."
 
2010-03-27 12:40:12 AM
She could've at least gone out on a limb and tried to move...

/gotta go, Virgil's scheduled an exclusive tour for me
//and a timeshare apparently...
 
2010-03-27 12:54:48 AM
Paris1127: Virgil's scheduled an exclusive tour for me

Niiiice! Though given your Fark handle, shouldn't it be Homer? ;)
 
2010-03-27 01:00:50 AM
I feel like a jerk for wondering if she was being a nagging biatch and the fellow in question just snapped.

/also feel bad for chuckling
//window seat, first round's on me
 
2010-03-27 01:06:36 AM
WhyteRaven74: Paris1127: Virgil's scheduled an exclusive tour for me

Niiiice! Though given your Fark handle, shouldn't it be Homer? ;)


Nah, I gave the apple to Athena, so I got wisdom, and that wisdom taught me that it'd be a bad idea to kidnap Helen. Or maybe I'm just Troying you... or both...

/mustn't keep Virgil waiting, with each pun I make, they move my timeshare down a circle...
//"Abandon hope all ye who enter here" isn't a great tourist slogan
 
2010-03-27 01:15:33 AM
Paris1127: "Abandon hope all ye who enter here" isn't a great tourist slogan

*snort* true, though it might work for the Politics tab ;)
 
2010-03-27 01:15:52 AM
Female quadruple amputee?

Fap.

is she hot?

/A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what's wrong. "I've never been hugged before" she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again. He again asks what's wrong, and she replies, "I've never been kissed before." The man again complies with her wishes and gives her a romantic kiss. She starts crying again, and the man, slightly irritated, asks what's her problem. "I've never been farked before" she says. So he picks her up and throws her in the ocean and says, "There, now you're farked"
 
2010-03-27 01:18:15 AM
FirstNationalBastard: is she hot?

I'm surprised it took this long for this to be asked.

/subby
 
2010-03-27 01:19:19 AM
...and to think we should have the technology to regrow limbs by now. Sigh. And if we did, 90% of people would be against it.
/I'd have a 60ft penis
 
2010-03-27 01:19:29 AM
I don't know why, but farking a quadruple amputee female sounds kinda interesting. Especially if she is hot.
 
2010-03-27 01:19:51 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2010-03-27 01:21:01 AM
WhyteRaven74: FirstNationalBastard: is she hot?

I'm surprised it took this long for this to be asked.

/subby


Indeed.

I mean, arms and legs are kind of superfluous as long as there's still a working mouth, asshole, and coont.

Sure, you'll have to make your own sandwich afterward, but odds are she wouldn't have made you one anyway if she had all her limbs.
 
2010-03-27 01:22:20 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

Not amused.
 
2010-03-27 01:23:19 AM
You'd have a short temper too if your television was small enough to be blocked by a quadruple amputee.
 
2010-03-27 01:25:14 AM
Oh for the power of the deathnote at times like this.
 
2010-03-27 01:27:32 AM
She had to trick him into going to the store to buy ice? They don't have access to ice? He brought a quadruple amputee with a bloodied face to public to buy ice?
 
2010-03-27 01:28:29 AM
Whoops...I forgot the "?"
 
2010-03-27 01:30:07 AM
Is her name Bob?
 
2010-03-27 01:30:12 AM
Now, what the dang doodle is going on?

i40.tinypic.com
 
2010-03-27 01:31:10 AM
FirstNationalBastard: Female quadruple amputee?

Fap.

is she hot?


Only if he left her on the stove.

/cause she wouldn't be able to move off it
//tap-tap, is this thing on?
 
2010-03-27 01:31:13 AM
fearmongert: I'd hit it.

Be funny if she tried to hit you back.
 
2010-03-27 01:35:12 AM
What do you call a quadruple amputee?

It doesn't matter because no matter what you call them they won't come.

What do you call a quadruple amputee on the floor?

Matt

What do you call a quadruple amputee in the hot tub?

Bob.

If you were stuck in the mud would you rather have a truckload of quadruple amputees or a truckload of bowling balls?


Everybody knows you can't get any traction on bowling balls.
 
2010-03-27 01:35:35 AM
Is that mugshot one of those Jigaboo Joe kinda things?
 
2010-03-27 01:37:21 AM
WhyteRaven74: Crudbucket: Not amused.

I was wondering how long until the first Boxing Helena pic/reference.


I was honestly surprised there wasn't one already. I figured a reference as obvious as that would have been spontaneously added by the filter as soon as the thread was submitted.

/gotta do everything around here myself
 
2010-03-27 01:38:04 AM
llnw.image.cbslocal.comimage.orientaltrading.com

/Why yes, I am temporarily ignoring his dickish actions and, instead, commenting on his appearance.
//Because he looks like a motherfarking balloon.
 
2010-03-27 01:38:21 AM
TrixieDelite:

Be funny if she tried to hit you back.


i210.photobucket.com
...it's just a flesh wound...
 
2010-03-27 01:39:23 AM
jacklynker.com

Not. Amused.
 
2010-03-27 01:39:55 AM
Ah, the good old East side. Can't say I miss that sh*t hole.
 
2010-03-27 01:42:39 AM
fearmongert: I'd hit it.

to late, sounds like he did.
 
2010-03-27 01:43:29 AM
FINISH HER!!!

I'm sorry. It just popped into my mind.
 
2010-03-27 01:44:57 AM
String him up. That's all I got to say about it. String the bastard up.
 
2010-03-27 01:45:03 AM
should have just pushed her over.
 
2010-03-27 01:45:21 AM
TrixieDelite: Not. Amused.

Rico! You know what to do!
 
2010-03-27 01:47:27 AM
I came for the nugget porn, but I am leaving saddened and suffering from an acute awareness that the world isn't really the happy place full of hot naked quadruple amputees I had thought it to be.

/You've destroyed a young man's faith in humanity, I hope you're proud of yourselves.
 
2010-03-27 01:47:29 AM
After glossing over some of these comments, all I can say is goddamn, in a Nina Simone voice.

/you get what you ask for
 
2010-03-27 01:48:53 AM
Richard Chin can be reached at 651-228-5560.

....Dick Chin?
 
2010-03-27 01:49:17 AM
yadumey: String him up. That's all I got to say about it. String the bastard up.

Yes, yadumey, because calling for stringing up black people always appropriate.
 
2010-03-27 01:52:46 AM
What do you call a quadruple amputee that plays tennis?

Annette
 
2010-03-27 01:54:10 AM
2 misdemeanors for beating up and kidnapping a quadruple amputee? Awesome.
 
2010-03-27 01:55:26 AM
Can a mute person legally give consent for sex? Or the converse, can a mute person say "no"? Is it possible to rape a mute person, or is any sexual encounter considered rape?
 
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