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(Billings Gazette)   Computer tech consultant in a small Montana town claims to be the Holy Ghost. He's a bit Waco   (billingsgazette.com) divider line 83
    More: Weird, Holy Ghost, computer technicians, exodus, persecution, Billings, convoys, religious groups, towns  
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6167 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Mar 2010 at 12:01 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-26 11:18:58 AM  
Might as well take his word for it until someone proves he's not.

I mean, it's not like people will blindly follow anyone that makes unsubstantiated claims, right?
 
2010-03-26 11:26:18 AM  
ZombieStomper:
I mean, it's not like people will blindly follow anyone that makes unsubstantiated claims, right?


Amen, brother.
 
2010-03-26 11:57:24 AM  
FTFA: Members of the Church of the Firstborn and General Assembly of Heaven had fled to Idaho from Utah last year after their large home in a Salt Lake City suburb was raided by federal officials investigating claims of child sexual abuse and assassination threats against President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

So we know they are a non-partisan group.

Their web site (new window)
 
2010-03-26 12:04:38 PM  
superdolfan1: FTFA: Members of the Church of the Firstborn and General Assembly of Heaven had fled to Idaho from Utah last year after their large home in a Salt Lake City suburb was raided by federal officials investigating claims of child sexual abuse and assassination threats against President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

So we know they are a non-partisan group.

Their web site (new window)


Pfft, for a consultant he has a lot to learn about presentation.
 
2010-03-26 12:11:03 PM  
I'm the Holy Ghost... well, generally right after I've done unto others, for a while anyhow.

/splitsville, like now
 
2010-03-26 12:11:42 PM  
superdolfan1: Their web site (new window)

I particularly like the mushroom cloud background they use.
 
2010-03-26 12:16:46 PM  
John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.
 
2010-03-26 12:16:57 PM  
Who ya gonna call?
img230.imageshack.us
We ain't afraid of no ghost...
 
2010-03-26 12:17:58 PM  
superdolfan1: FTFA: Members of the Church of the Firstborn and General Assembly of Heaven had fled to Idaho from Utah last year after their large home in a Salt Lake City suburb was raided by federal officials investigating claims of child sexual abuse and assassination threats against President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is it with these hyper-religious freaks and their desire to molest children?
 
Pud
2010-03-26 12:23:34 PM  
What's his Fark name?
 
2010-03-26 12:24:13 PM  
Sorry, dude, you can't be just one of 'em - it's a non-breakable 3-pack.
 
2010-03-26 12:24:14 PM  
I wish I was tax exempt and could operate without morals.

/kicks dirt
 
2010-03-26 12:24:23 PM  
Come out, and live with a religious community in a beautiful place out in the country...
 
2010-03-26 12:25:35 PM  
Phew what a loonie.

Who wants to bet he's a Teabagger too?
 
2010-03-26 12:25:37 PM  
Eddy Vedder wiriting headlines for us now?

/I seem to recognize....
 
2010-03-26 12:25:54 PM  
2wolves: ZombieStomper:
I mean, it's not like people will blindly follow anyone that makes unsubstantiated claims, right?

Amen, brother.


Hope and change baby. Hope and change.
 
2010-03-26 12:26:15 PM  
Ed Grubermann: What is it with these hyper-religious freaks and their desire to molest children?

That's probably the result of marriage to younger girls. They may or may not be truly children (i.e., no puberty or the like) and it may or may not line up with acceptable ages for marriage years ago. I'm not defending them because I don't know the exact nature of the charges, but I see this from time to time thrown out because older men end up with multiple wives and some of them are 14+.

If it was truly pedo stuff, well, first off 14 is too old. Like ancient and all. That aside, then prosecute away.
 
2010-03-26 12:27:18 PM  
Ed Grubermann: superdolfan1: FTFA: Members of the Church of the Firstborn and General Assembly of Heaven had fled to Idaho from Utah last year after their large home in a Salt Lake City suburb was raided by federal officials investigating claims of child sexual abuse and assassination threats against President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is it with these hyper-religious freaks and their desire to molest children?


FTFA: Residents in the church’s Fromberg neighborhood have been circulating copies of news accounts published in Utah and Idaho that claim the church has odd sexual practices and that members have practiced doomsday mass suicide rituals.

Dalton acknowledges the church has unconventional views about sex.

"What happens between adults is not my business, as long as it doesn't violate the law," he said.


It seems like he almost contradicts himself.
 
2010-03-26 12:28:49 PM  
i43.tinypic.com">
He's mad that all God and the angels ever gave him was a rock...
 
2010-03-26 12:29:14 PM  
Ed Grubermann: superdolfan1: FTFA: Members of the Church of the Firstborn and General Assembly of Heaven had fled to Idaho from Utah last year after their large home in a Salt Lake City suburb was raided by federal officials investigating claims of child sexual abuse and assassination threats against President Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Thomas S. Monson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

What is it with these hyper-religious freaks and their desire to molest children?


Well, the Bible DID say "suffer the little children to come unto me..."
 
2010-03-26 12:29:22 PM  
If he is the father of Jesus, wouldn't that make him God?

/Didn't know god was fat and bald
 
2010-03-26 12:36:13 PM  
FTFA: Dalton works as a computer tech consultant and installs satellite dishes. Harman is a certified welder who said he's currently "a little between jobs."

Yes... yes, this makes sense.

Because whenever I think of The Holy Ghost, I picture a fat, balding computer tech consultant and his sidekick unemployed welder.
 
2010-03-26 12:37:40 PM  
Maybe he can break Jesus out of prison.
 
2010-03-26 12:39:29 PM  
Hmm, let's look at their translated ancient sacred texts, shall we?

From "The Sealed Book of Daniel"

1 1.Thus saith the Lord God, I am set down in the throne of my name with my son Daniel the seer of Babylon and the cartousche of Montablan

Hmmm, Khaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!

8. 8.That there might be a joining of the house of Manarafeneloepic with the daughter of Jean Moss

Jean Moss? OK, now you're just making stuff up!

/Not even going to mention Rikigakorgicouras Unikagalorious but I think that's a character from Hitchhiker's Guide, amiright?
 
2010-03-26 12:42:09 PM  
Well, I dunno, this IS the way the Holy Ghost talks:

"We all prayed about where to go next, and a lot of people had the same feeling that we ought to go to Montana, somewhere nigh unto Billings, not the city, but nearby," Dalton said.

I always hear him talking like that in the Bible.
 
2010-03-26 12:43:07 PM  
ZombieStomper: Might as well take his word for it until someone proves he's not.

I mean, it's not like people will blindly follow anyone that makes unsubstantiated claims, right?


Hey! Everything I learned about religion I learned from other ignorant atheists! Look how cool and smart I am!

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. John 4:1
 
2010-03-26 12:44:13 PM  
Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong

/Industrial Disease
 
2010-03-26 12:45:19 PM  
I new book of the Bible called "Gaud"? Every knows it's spelled "Gawd". Heathens.
 
2010-03-26 12:48:21 PM  
He's A Holy Ghost. Not THE Holy Ghost.
And he doesn't even have to floss.
 
2010-03-26 12:49:37 PM  
The holy ghost is fat and needs to go on a diet.
 
2010-03-26 12:50:52 PM  
Now as long as he doesn't talk any shiat about the ATF, they won't have to come burn him alive.
 
2010-03-26 12:51:29 PM  
www.badmovies.org

Holy Ghost (left), speaks with Jesus (right), about Jesus' opportunities with his talent agent, Morris, in Vegas.
 
2010-03-26 12:52:41 PM  
ZombieStomper: Might as well take his word for it until someone proves he's not.

I mean, it's not like people will blindly follow anyone that makes unsubstantiated claims, right?


Uno y ... whatever 'done' is in Spanish.
 
2010-03-26 12:53:50 PM  
Waco is in Tennessee, not Montana.

/Yes, I know. It is a joke. Move along.
 
2010-03-26 12:55:13 PM  
Dalton acknowledges the church has unconventional views about sex.

"What happens between adults is not my business," as long as it doesn't violate the law, he said.


Maniac
 
2010-03-26 12:55:55 PM  
BraveNewCheneyWorld: Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. John 4:1

Hey, everything I learned about religion I learned from an ancient Iron Age book that I accepted as true because I was told that it was true.
 
2010-03-26 12:56:04 PM  
BraveNewCheneyWorld: Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. John 4:1

That's the first recorded instance of the use of "Beware of imitators" in marketing.

Here's a tip: Scams that work attract copycats in droves. So, when someone warns you to watch out for other people doing what they're doing, you're probably getting ripped off in the first place.
 
2010-03-26 12:56:56 PM  
Just begging for a 'shop contest...

i178.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-26 12:58:32 PM  
"People there threw rocks at our cars and called us names. They weren't very friendly, so we decided to just get out," Harman said.

Well, at least the good people of Fromberg know how to chase them out if they want to.
 
2010-03-26 12:59:03 PM  
Stupid. Any reasonable person knows that the Holy Ghost was just Jesus in a sheet.


DaddyRat: Sorry, dude, you can't be just one of 'em - it's a non-breakable 3-pack.

Not according to the Mormons.

/dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
 
2010-03-26 12:59:22 PM  
I didn't know "The Holy Ghost" ate 3 crave cases a week.
 
2010-03-26 01:00:44 PM  
Highroller48: That's the first recorded instance of the use of "Beware of imitators" in marketing.

Here's a tip: Scams that work attract copycats in droves. So, when someone warns you to watch out for other people doing what they're doing, you're probably getting ripped off in the first place.


Bad tip, that. Things that work well also attract copycats. Good marketing says to minimize your competition's abilities and promote yours. No different here.
 
2010-03-26 01:03:01 PM  
jdog71: Just begging for a 'shop contest...

LMFAO

(*snert*)

Thanks. (*wipes eyes*) You just made my day!

XD
 
2010-03-26 01:04:18 PM  
austerity101:
Not according to the Mormons.


Good point. It's a biatch trying to come up with a universal consensus.

/or 'catholic', as it were...
 
2010-03-26 01:05:46 PM  
Oh, come on, everyone knows the Holy Ghost is useless, that he's got a sheet over him these days...

"Ooo...Holy ghooooost...holy ghooooost..."

Holy Ghost, this is not an episode of Scooby-Doo.

/"I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky God and Jesus fellas." (new window)
 
2010-03-26 01:06:16 PM  
Terrill Dalton, this is not an episode of Scooby Doo.
 
2010-03-26 01:07:28 PM  
Arxane: Oh, come on, everyone knows the Holy Ghost is useless, that he's got a sheet over him these days...

"Ooo...Holy ghooooost...holy ghooooost..."

Holy Ghost, this is not an episode of Scooby-Doo.

/"I would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky God and Jesus fellas." (new window)


Wish, I'd been a bit faster. Simulpost would have been nice.
 
2010-03-26 01:11:15 PM  
Guy's a tech consultant?

...glad I don't have to call him for tech support.

/not because of teh religion
//because of teh crazy
 
2010-03-26 01:19:33 PM  
q&d

i178.photobucket.com
 
2010-03-26 01:23:49 PM  
0Icky0: Hey, everything I learned about religion I learned from an ancient Iron Age book that I accepted as true because I was told that it was true.

Not even close. The bible and other religious texts are written with symbolism. People like you and the wackjob fundies are both missing the point because you can't do anything but understand the superficial, literal meaning. You think they're without any merit because literal meanings are easily refuted, and fundies think gays should be burned at the stake. The fact you and the fundies got through high school English is amazing, because you're both retarded.
 
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