Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(   Omaha man uses the old "my son had to die, he was satan excuse"   ( divider line
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

12224 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2003 at 9:12 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

103 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2003-04-29 07:20:12 PM  
guy could be a [image from too old to be available]. but seeing as he killed his proof I guess we'll never know.
2003-04-29 07:48:05 PM  
Omaha man uses the old "my son had to die, he was satan excuse"

Paging the headline punctuation nazis... paging the headline punctuation nazis... you have a perp on this thread.
2003-04-29 08:06:26 PM  
That's sad, but not nearly as sad as this announcement in the Classifieds section of the Omaha paper this post links to:

little magic in our lives.
Warm, loving, secure
couple will provide
unconditional love for your
newborn. Expenses paid.
Please call Ethel and Alan

Christ. Nothing--and I mean nothing--more depressing than being childless in Omaha. The bastard in the posted article could have given the kid up rather than kill it.

By the way, to keep it a lttle light, I'll toss in a paraphrased Fletch line:

"Those are three of my favorite words: Omaha, Ethel and Alan."
2003-04-29 09:13:44 PM  
comeon Coleslaw, it is annoying when those slip through like that.
2003-04-29 09:16:38 PM  
seeing as he killed his proof I guess we'll never know

Well, if he succeeded in killing the "proof", would that not instantly prove him wrong? After all, Satan is immortal, right?
2003-04-29 09:17:31 PM  
Well, now that that problem's taken care of, we can move on to the whole anti-christ thing.
2003-04-29 09:18:09 PM  
turns out the kid was just praticing his "numbers" for pre-school, we'll never know how his 777's would have looked.
2003-04-29 09:18:34 PM  
Yay dumbass religious fanatics!

/got nuthin'
2003-04-29 09:18:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Sure he had to kill the kid, but man, his wife is hot.
2003-04-29 09:19:52 PM  
Try again, as in:

Omaha man uses the old "My son had to die, as he was Satan" excuse.
2003-04-29 09:20:34 PM  
Maybe it was meant to be "9-9-9" (if he had already mastered the 777s and 888s, I mean, Icepal). Do you know how hard it is to try to write something on your head while looking in the mirror?
2003-04-29 09:21:16 PM  
He must have been asked by God do destroy all the demons that were disguised as humans...he did it wrong though; you're supposed to enlist your sons not kill them.
2003-04-29 09:21:33 PM  
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.
2003-04-29 09:22:06 PM  
Is this them:

[image from too old to be available]

2003-04-29 09:22:28 PM  
Read over your headlines before you submit, people...
2003-04-29 09:23:09 PM  
For it is a human number, its number is six hundred and sixty six.
2003-04-29 09:24:25 PM  
shouldn't be too hard for an "Anti-Christ." the hard part would be washing the crayon off so you could go on to new numbers.
2003-04-29 09:25:06 PM  
Sheesh... typical Christian.

I can't believe fundie morons want this stuff taught in schools.
2003-04-29 09:25:37 PM  
Some chick had this dude's baby, better get her checked out too.
2003-04-29 09:26:23 PM  
In the late 80s, at what was formerly my favorite restaurant, I had a regular waitress who's daughter I coincidentally went to high school with. She was fairly nice and wore these bizarre 60s-style horned-rim glasses. Anyway, she ended up killing her 21-year-old son to "protect him from the mafia." Hey, nobody said being a parent was easy.
2003-04-29 09:28:01 PM  
Haven't any of you seen 'The Omen'? Damien was a little psychokinetic badass...if we are talking about the anti-christ here, daddy should have been easy to send flying into traffic or into a steam press.
2003-04-29 09:28:10 PM  
2003-04-29 09:28:31 PM  
Heh, Frailty is a bizitch-sweet movie. Nice reference PhUtion!
2003-04-29 09:28:58 PM  
This article sucks, was he Satan or not?!?

I hope not, I coulda swore I killed him that time I killed everyone at that park. Damn evil children!
2003-04-29 09:29:14 PM  
If man was made in God's image, and god let his son die, in fact encouraged it, then isn't what this guy did theosophically correct?
2003-04-29 09:31:30 PM  
Hey if he can kill his kid because he is possessed by the devil can I go around and kill people who are possessed with stupidity.
2003-04-29 09:31:47 PM  
"Who Would Jesus Kill?"
2003-04-29 09:31:55 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 09:32:43 PM  
I tried that excuse with my little sister when I was 8. Man, my ass still hurts when I think of the whoopin' daddy gave me.
2003-04-29 09:33:43 PM  
I want to kill stupid people too. As there are approximately 5 billion or so out there... *hunts for doomsday device*
2003-04-29 09:34:06 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-29 09:39:18 PM  
The power of Christ compels you.
2003-04-29 09:42:51 PM  
I mean, if you're gonna kill your Satanic son, why not wait till he's older and has a sporting chance?
2003-04-29 09:44:38 PM  
And Jesus, Elite-mrp, what the hell IS THAT THING!?
2003-04-29 09:46:12 PM  
Coleslaw: Paging the headline punctuation nazis.

You called?

How's this, then?

[image from too old to be available] Omaha man uses the old "my son had to die, he was satan" excuse
2003-04-29 09:49:15 PM  

"my son had to die, he was satan" excuse.

2003-04-29 09:52:27 PM  
83_Excited given 6 billion people only 4.8 billion should be stupid. That gives you 20% non stupid which, sadly, sounds about right.
2003-04-29 09:54:32 PM  
i know a lot of you people would like to use it as an excuse to make fun of religion, but somehow i'm guessing this guy wasn't a "fundie", just crazy.
2003-04-29 09:54:52 PM  
bah... all children are demons. still, it doesn't mean it's ok to kill them. unless you're stranded on the side of a mountain after a plane crash and there's no more beef jerky left.
2003-04-29 09:57:23 PM  

Sheesh... typical Christian.

I can't believe fundie morons want this stuff taught in schools.

Only if you consider Stalin a typical atheist, and Bin Laden a typical Muslim.

You see? Broad generalizations work both ways. Aren't they FUN?
2003-04-29 09:57:52 PM  
"Children" has eight letters.

"Duct tape" has eight letters.

Coincidence? I think not.
2003-04-29 09:58:15 PM  
"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the sources of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." - P. J. O'Rourke
2003-04-29 09:59:16 PM  
You see, this is exactly why I don't want to have kids. The diapers, the crying, the spinning heads and flaming red eyes...
2003-04-29 10:00:27 PM  
He just killed his physical form, he was supposed to stab him with the other six dagger to extinguish his soul

/omen III
2003-04-29 10:05:22 PM  

Sheesh... typical Christian.

I can't believe fundie morons want this stuff taught in schools.

I could be wrong here, but last time I checked, the typical Christian doesn't kill his/her children.

Stop giving tolerant skeptics a bad name.
2003-04-29 10:08:38 PM  
I think 'Dancing Squirrel Balls' would make a great name for a band.
2003-04-29 10:12:58 PM  
Mmmmmmm.... beef jerky...
2003-04-29 10:13:41 PM  

Lemme see...A Christian thinks his son may be the anti-christ. He knows the bible is the word of God and cant change.
he therefore knows he cannot kill the anti-christ and change the word of God...

so...whats his excuse again?
2003-04-29 10:15:34 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Me, possess people? No. No no no no no......Well, yes...but not that boy. I swear.
2003-04-29 10:16:36 PM  
"Happy shall be, that taketh and dasheth thy babies against the stones." - Psalm 137:9

"And thou shalt eat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy sons and of thy daughters, which the Lord thy God has given thee." - Deuteronomy 28:53

Yeah, I'm real surprised when some poor sap goes nutso and kills his own kids. The Bible is all about context, and everybody seems to have their own.
Displayed 50 of 103 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.