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(News.com.au)   Virgin to celebrate 10-million satisfied customers   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: Ironic  
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18599 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2003 at 5:50 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



68 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2003-04-29 06:01:19 PM  
So how many unsatisfied customers is that? 40 million?
 
2003-04-30 05:52:30 AM  
still trying to figure out how they picked such a stupid, stupid name.

dumb brits. all they ever did was develop the best language , the 3rd largest empire, and help stop the largest military juggernaut in human history.

sheesh.
 
2003-04-30 05:52:58 AM  
ahahah thats teh funnieh headline see coz the virgin has 10,000,000 satisfied customers and virgins don't fark...see? rotflomglol..

Oh sweet jesus an alltime low has been reached.
 
2003-04-30 05:54:46 AM  
Should we expect another wacky stunt from R.Branigan now?
 
2003-04-30 05:55:19 AM  
I hate it when they put a friggin' ad in the middle of the goddamn story. WTF?!

I can't believe I actually read that either.

;/
 
2003-04-30 05:56:10 AM  
Wow... That wasnt anything like what I expected... I was waiting for some kind of ass-farking bonanza.

Maybe thats just me though.
 
2003-04-30 05:56:29 AM  
Virgin sucks or ahh NOT :( Altho one of their adds has a lady giving birth on it, strange eh?
 
2003-04-30 05:56:33 AM  
Nihil8r:- It was originally a record label in the punk days (sex pistols were on Virgin). I guess Branson thought it was witty or something.
 
2003-04-30 05:56:52 AM  
HEY WHY DID THE TEXT GET SO FARKING SMALL????
 
2003-04-30 05:58:34 AM  
Nihil8r - third largest?
 
2003-04-30 06:03:07 AM  
Without having read the article or any of these posts, I'll hazard a guess and say it involves some sort of outlandish publicity stunt by that zany, mad-cap and not at all annoying funster, Dickie Branson.
 
2003-04-30 06:05:19 AM  
Britain had the largest Empire, stretching over one third of the globe by the end of the second world war.

Then they gave it all away, creating independant countries like Israel, Iraq and loads of African countries, ignoring the tribal boundaries. I'd hate to think of all the people killed because of bungling idiots back in London.

Good job then.
 
2003-04-30 06:05:38 AM  
The story i got is that it was virgin records because they'd never done anything like that before.

The Empire, when we were coloured in red, not the commies.
 
2003-04-30 06:06:00 AM  
I've now read the article and have to admit I was completely wrong. How embarrassing.
 
2003-04-30 06:09:05 AM  
Kittens are attempting a round the world helium baloon flight to celebrate.
 
2003-04-30 06:18:19 AM  
Pity Virgin Blue is such a horrible airline. If you take a low cost carrier, drop it down a notch, that is what you have.

btw, The reason it is called Virgin Blue is in Australian slang redheads are called 'blueys'...
 
2003-04-30 06:18:19 AM  
Nobody is going to answer my question about the text here?
 
2003-04-30 06:18:43 AM  
[image from scarleteen.com too old to be available]
 
2003-04-30 06:20:59 AM  
Heh heh. I like that headline.
 
2003-04-30 06:21:40 AM  
Gryn :- Mike has been trying to get his head around cascading style sheets to revamp FARK and make the pages quicker to load, which is why there have been a few funnies over the last few days. I don't know if the small font is permanent.
 
2003-04-30 06:23:30 AM  
Gryn

Your eyesight is obviously deteriorating as the text isn't any smaller.We know what you're up to. Stop it now for the sake of the kittens.
 
2003-04-30 06:25:40 AM  
This story isn't remotely interesting.

There have been soooo many more links lately, and soooo many more that suck.

I admire the ability of people to take any lame story and come up with a nice pun, but come on...
 
2003-04-30 06:31:18 AM  
Jay_vee
Thank you for the reply, I've always counted on you for .. well, just about everything.

Zorba_the_Geek
Thank you for.. just being.
 
2003-04-30 06:40:23 AM  
Gryn

That's very 'Zen' of you.

Jay_vee

Does this css tinkering account for the great 'EOF' debacle of last night?
 
2003-04-30 06:43:37 AM  
Zorba_the_Geek:- I don't know about the "EOF" problem. Must have been asleep. An error with EOF in it is usually a database problem though, rather than an HTML one.
 
2003-04-30 06:45:49 AM  
BTW. I don't have some kind of direct channel to Mike, or any other deities for that matter. I'm just repeating what he said in another thread a few days ago.
 
2003-04-30 06:46:15 AM  
STOP THE PRESSES!! HLY farkING shiat!@!!!

as all modern historians know (ie, me, cuz i adopted this theory myself and haven't bothered to get anything published in a journal yet), empires should be judged based on HEGEMONIC influence, not territorial influence. placed in context, rome's hegemonic empire kicks the living shiat out of england's. englands is mighty, mighty impressive, but rome's is that much more impressive because they had bronze, iron, and philosophy as their only technologies. oh, and marble. but that's not really a technology, it's more of a rock.

and the other one ... well america, obviously. territorial-wise we occupy a lot of prime real estate. but militarily and culturally there have been none more stifling. more influential, hell yes, but not more stifling. american culture sucks anus, but when i went to firenze italia for research and i ran into a startled youth wearing the same smashing pumpkins t-shirt that i was, i knew we were in trouble.

gah ... its 530 am and i am so tired. please, just agree with me. america's hegemonic empire is not to be challenged. consider the un security council of russia, UK, france, china. how many of those countries would still exist without mid 20th century military and financial support of the us? well, none. if you still dont agree with me, realize that japan, france, germany, italy, the phillos, and a few other choice places were conquered by america by 1945. idiot historians say "liberated," but the real deals know "conquering" when they see it. we just didn't have any interest in running a far flung territorial empire so we rebuilt the places for the people who never wanted a war in the first place. but the westernized, economic japan falls under the hegemonic control and protection of america. so does germany. so does south korea. etc.

goddamn i am too tired to write more. just submit to my will.

final worldl rankings - contextual hegemonic empires 1-3

1 roman
2 american
3 english

if in two hundred years america is still on top then rome will have been displaced.


04-30-03 05:56:33 AM Jay_vee

Nihil8r:- It was originally a record label in the punk days (sex pistols were on Virgin). I guess Branson thought it was witty or something.


ah, thx. it's still not cool though. damn punks. :)
 
2003-04-30 06:47:41 AM  
Arkan the actual reason is because Virgin Blue is True Blue about keeping the air fare.

Virgin Blue is a great airline. they gave me a free flight for getting the name of their CEO right.
 
2003-04-30 06:51:47 AM  
totally thought the headline said Viagra through my blurry vision.. and no I'm not drunk, that comes later tonight. it's my 21st birthday! woohoo
 
2003-04-30 06:55:27 AM  
Jay_vee

According to the last paragraph of your profile, you are indeed part of the pantheon of the Gods.
 
2003-04-30 06:55:48 AM  
AussieX: Well, according to their website, it is a bit of both...

Richard Branson was wholehearted in his support: "I've heard how Australians refer to a redhead as a 'Bluey' and since our planes are red, we thought it would be a bit of fun. Additionally, we think the name may be appropriate since some people suspect we are going to have a bit of a 'blue' with the big airlines."

Furthermore, the name "...represents our goal to prove to Australia how true blue we are about delivering low fares."


I am not flying them again after the flight attendants forced me to wake up and do inflight aerobics after I had been flying for 20 hours over 11 timezones earlier that day, and then complained that I wasn't being enthusiastic.
 
2003-04-30 07:11:59 AM  
Zorba_the_Geek:- I always thought that last section of my profile made me sound like a bit of a wanker, but I left it in because (a) that's probably a fairly accurate assessment and (b) I really am sick of having that conversation about that illusion.
 
2003-04-30 07:15:11 AM  
This is not funny.
 
2003-04-30 07:15:16 AM  
"Virgin Blue has gone from strength to strength by focussing on the needs of our guests, whether they are travelling for business or pleasure."

Grammar Nazis: I am but a simple caveman. I do not understand when to double the last letter of a word when addding a suffix to that word. True, the act of suffixxing alone can terrify me, but then, I am but a simple caveman, travelling this modern world, focussing on my fears.
 
2003-04-30 07:23:28 AM  
LOLOLOLOLOL - GREAT HEADLINE!!! ;D
 
2003-04-30 07:26:41 AM  
They can be spelt either way. I don't know that there's a rule about which spelling to use. Generally, Brits double up, and yanks spell them either way.
/Grammar Commie
 
2003-04-30 07:30:53 AM  
Hytes Xian
"Grammar Nazis: I am but a simple caveman. I do not understand when to double the last letter of a word when addding a suffix to that word. True, the act of suffixxing alone can terrify me, but then, I am but a simple caveman, travelling this modern world, focussing on my fears."

Its worth noting that the english language's rules on spelling and grammer were made up by a bunch of 13th (IIRC) century civil servant bureaucrats on the fly. Hence, the english language sucks for spelling and grammer.
 
2003-04-30 07:34:17 AM  
i was quite disappointed tho' when I clicked the link to find an article about an airline - DARN!
 
2003-04-30 07:35:27 AM  
Blumf:- However, it does have the huge advantage that if you speak it slowly and loudly enough, every foreigner in the world can understand you.
 
2003-04-30 07:35:49 AM  
Hey Johnny_wadd- what is that pic all about?!
 
2003-04-30 07:40:39 AM  

Interesting little fact...

The Virgin Group owns two companies which don't take the 'Virgin' name...

The first...
[image from stormmodels.com too old to be available]
It was apparently thought that 'Storm Models' was more appropriate than 'Virgin Models'

The second, and you'll like this...
[image from 14-condoms.co.uk too old to be available]
Again 'Virgin Condoms' didn't seem to quite fit the bill so they came up with 'Mates Condoms'

Not for use with my mates but still i think the name is better.

 
2003-04-30 07:40:39 AM  
Jay_vee
"Blumf:- However, it does have the huge advantage that if you speak it slowly and loudly enough, every foreigner in the world can understand you."

Can't wait for our first contact with Aliens life, "HEL-LO WEEE COME IIINNNN PEA-CE !!!" :)
 
2003-04-30 07:45:45 AM  
Blumf:- I remember a friend of mine from school going into a bakery in France, and saying in a very loud voice "I DON'T SPEAK ANY ENGLISH".
 
2003-04-30 07:45:46 AM  
Nihil8tr

Based one hegemonic influence, the former Soviet regime should also be ranking up there.
 
2003-04-30 07:52:56 AM  
"I am not flying them again after the flight attendants forced me to wake up and do inflight aerobics after I had been flying for 20 hours over 11 timezones earlier that day, and then complained that I wasn't being enthusiastic."

You never know, they probably saved your life. You coulda Deep Vein Thrombosis from all that sitting on your ass. ;)
 
2003-04-30 07:54:09 AM  
I'm assuming that's why they were so insistant that everyone got up and did some exercises anyway.

There's also the possibility that it was just a 30 minute flight and they wanted to annoy everyone.
 
2003-04-30 08:05:32 AM  
Last time I was in a Virgin it was too crowded and all hot and sweaty.
 
2003-04-30 08:12:59 AM  
If you don't like Virgin you can rest assured that they are going to get a right kicking in tomorrows Mayday protests. Check out this link of a group called the Vacuum Cleaners last year in nottingham uk.
 
2003-04-30 08:14:10 AM  
Ilovebeerme
"Last time I was in a Virgin it was too crowded and all hot and sweaty."

I hereby present you the...

[image from powell-pressburger.org too old to be available]
Sid James Award for Smut and Innuendo
 
2003-04-30 08:22:17 AM  
Isn't this the airlines with the tv sets in the seats and lots of parts to the planes just for customer satisfaction?

/10million isn't much...meh
 
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