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(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   Dear citizens of suburban Columbus, we are still missing $90,000 that fell off an armored car yesterday, please return it when you get a chance   (blog.cleveland.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, surveillance videos, armoured vehicles, better things to do, Veterans Day, H&R Block, Whitehall, pockets, good work  
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5981 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Mar 2010 at 4:07 PM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2010-03-25 12:29:14 PM  
I'll have that 10k back right away...
 
2010-03-25 12:37:07 PM  
Whitehall? they're lucky they made it out with their tires/
 
2010-03-25 12:56:51 PM  
They're keeping the money? The nerve!
Poor banks exist only to serve!
The bank shouldn't worry.
I'm sure folks will hurry
To give them just what they deserve.
 
2010-03-25 01:51:20 PM  
A man could have a good weekend in Vegas...
 
2010-03-25 02:02:26 PM  

Shilldog: Whitehall? they're lucky they made it out with their tires/


THIS!

/lives in Clintonville
 
2010-03-25 02:41:56 PM  

Eclectic: Shilldog: Whitehall? they're lucky they made it out with their tires/

THIS!

/lives in Clintonville


Just 2 days ago, I went to Lavash, then Denise's. I live on 6th Ave just south of campus
 
2010-03-25 04:10:57 PM  

2wolves: A man could have a good weekend in Vegas...


This. If you win, great. If you lose, who cares?
 
2010-03-25 04:11:25 PM  
If I was caught on film taking some of this free money I'd make sure that I turned myself in and gave at least 5% of it back.

If I was sure I had been filmed.
 
2010-03-25 04:11:43 PM  
games-mix.com
 
2010-03-25 04:13:48 PM  
www.zuguide.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2010-03-25 04:14:26 PM  
yeah -- if I found 90K in untraceable cash - it's mine.

Paying off my car, my debts, and having 60K left over to put down on a nice house? HAH Fark your morals, I have bills to pay.
 
2010-03-25 04:19:45 PM  

mediablitz: I'll have that 10 8k back right away...

 
2010-03-25 04:21:06 PM  
I'd use it for the untraceable stuff. Got to be somewhat careful here. If you deposit it all or have a huge change in your spending habits, you're fooked. But if you use it to supplement your groceries, the occasional tank of gas, and for non-normal purchases (but keep it discrete), you're probably safe.

Not that I'd know or anything...
 
2010-03-25 04:21:07 PM  
OK, so how do you get away with this?

Wait ten years, or whatever the statute of limitations is? But then couldn't they get you for tax evasion?


Put it into a Swiss bank acount, carrying over $9900 dollars at a time? While that's $1 dollar under the legal amount, you'd still get questioned heavily I'm guessing.
 
2010-03-25 04:21:45 PM  
The money is insured. My lack of money is not.
 
2010-03-25 04:22:22 PM  
yeah, good luck with that one guys.
 
2010-03-25 04:22:27 PM  

LOGICAL_PSYCHO: mediablitz: I'll have that 10 8k 2K back right away...


FTFY
 
2010-03-25 04:25:47 PM  

Honest Bender: The money is insured. My lack of money is not.


Well, that's what you get for being honest. All those dishonest guys are rich. So by all means, KEEP THE MONEY.
 
2010-03-25 04:26:23 PM  
Can you describe this alleged cash?
 
2010-03-25 04:27:17 PM  
Keep the cash very well hidden (in a well hidden safe in your house). Spend a hundred or so of it each week. No more. It will last about 17 years. No one will catch you.
 
2010-03-25 04:27:30 PM  
Yeah, by the way guys, I got drunk and dropped twenty pounds of pot somewhere in San Francisco. If you could get that back to me as soon as possible, It would be greatly appreciated.

...and I won't charge you with grand theft.
 
2010-03-25 04:27:40 PM  
RTFA. A bag of money fell out and spilled all over the highway. Nobody has $90k in their basement. Rather, a bunch of people gathered between $100-150 each and ran.

The greedy schmucks who took thousands will be caught right away. (Being Whitehall, it'll probably be spent on rims.) But everyone else will be nearly undetectable, provided they don't brag too much.

/Drives past that corner every morning
 
2010-03-25 04:29:06 PM  
in Ohio? LOL.
 
2010-03-25 04:29:30 PM  

ronaprhys: I'd use it for the untraceable stuff. Got to be somewhat careful here. If you deposit it all or have a huge change in your spending habits, you're fooked. But if you use it to supplement your groceries, the occasional tank of gas, and for non-normal purchases (but keep it discrete), you're probably safe.

Not that I'd know or anything...


images.themoviedb.org

Approve.
 
2010-03-25 04:33:58 PM  

Gravity Works: LOGICAL_PSYCHO: mediablitz: I'll have that 10 8k 2k 30 cents back right away...


FTFY
 
2010-03-25 04:34:20 PM  

accelerus: yeah -- if I found 90K in untraceable cash - it's mine.

Paying off my car, my debts, and having 60K left over to put down on a nice house? HAH Fark your morals, I have bills to pay.


And how will you explain where all that money came from? You can't use illegitimate sources of income to pay off legitimate debts. Well, you can but it's a Bad Idea.
 
2010-03-25 04:34:30 PM  
I just ate at the Ethiopian restaurant in Whitehall last week.

It was a surprisingly tasty and filling meal.
 
2010-03-25 04:35:32 PM  
I got $4800 and am keeping all of it
/ hahaha
// screw you dolphin and fark you whale
 
2010-03-25 04:37:44 PM  
1.Buy out of state pot with it
2. Sell pot for 75% of its value to someone
3.Profit
 
2010-03-25 04:43:22 PM  

2wolves: A man could have a good weekend in Vegas...


The trip was supposed to be in Dallas, but an incident happened with a bunch of textbooks, so...
 
2010-03-25 04:43:37 PM  

jtown: accelerus: yeah -- if I found 90K in untraceable cash - it's mine.

Paying off my car, my debts, and having 60K left over to put down on a nice house? HAH Fark your morals, I have bills to pay.

And how will you explain where all that money came from? You can't use illegitimate sources of income to pay off legitimate debts. Well, you can but it's a Bad Idea.


90k if spent over time no one will catch it.
/I seen drug dealers last for years making 10k+ a night with no problem till they got busted for moving drugs
 
2010-03-25 04:44:13 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: 1.Buy out of state pot with it
2. Sell pot for 75% of its value to someone
3.Profit



So in your scenario I got $90K which I promptly spent to buy $90K of weed. I then sell it for $67.5K and I profited? Sure - I ended up with $67.5K more than I had, but if I'd kept the $90K I'd be better off.
 
2010-03-25 04:45:08 PM  
Bahahahha. Saw this on one of the local TV news websites yesterday. The people around here are total arseholes (see: yesterday's news story about the "apologetic" teabagger who assaulted a guy with Parkinson's) so there's no way they're getting that money back. Thankfully I have lived here for 4.5 years and have never stepped foot in Whitehall so I can't be considered a suspect.

/Lives right near Easton yet hardly ever steps foot in that godforsaken mall
//Except for Chipotle
 
2010-03-25 04:45:38 PM  
What money may look like:

media.cleveland.com
 
2010-03-25 04:46:17 PM  
Maybe that heckler from the health reform rally has it. He strikes me as a hypocrite who would stuff it in his pockets and run.
 
2010-03-25 04:47:03 PM  
Benq Quote 2010-03-25 04:33:58 PM
Gravity Works: LOGICAL_PSYCHO: mediablitz:

I'll have that 10 8k 2k 30 cents back check to see if I know where someone else put it, right away...

FTFY


Also,
COLUMBUS FARK PARTY- Drinks on me. Let's just say I have a rich uncle (yeah, that's it)who recently passed away. Mud Flatts near Westerville...
 
2010-03-25 04:50:55 PM  

Torrentius: I just ate at the Ethiopian restaurant in Whitehall last week.

It was a surprisingly tasty and filling meal.


I call shenanigans! Ethiopians don't eat food, they sit around with flies on their faces trying to get us to ship them food!

// At least that's all I remember about Ethiopia from my childhood
 
2010-03-25 04:51:09 PM  

TheSelphie: Bahahahha. Saw this on one of the local TV news websites yesterday. The people around here are total arseholes (see: yesterday's news story about the "apologetic" teabagger who assaulted a guy with Parkinson's) so there's no way they're getting that money back. Thankfully I have lived here for 4.5 years and have never stepped foot in Whitehall so I can't be considered a suspect.

/Lives right near Easton yet hardly ever steps foot in that godforsaken mall
//Except for Chipotle


My wife found out there's a Tiffany's there. Now we have to go occasionally.

/Prefers the online shopping for most things.
//Except tools. Then I go check them out locally and source them to see if that price is reasonable.
///capitalist dick
 
2010-03-25 04:54:08 PM  
The smart ones grabbed 300-400 and left (AKA bonus time). The stupid ones stayed around and tried to walk away with 5-30K at a time. They'll recover some, but nowhere near all of it.
 
2010-03-25 04:54:18 PM  
This happened before back in the 1980's in Columbus. The armored car was driving down the highway and dropped money for several miles. The total amount lost was never admitted, but it was estimated to be over a $1 Million. The cops made all sorts of threats to get the money back, which of course didn't work.
 
2010-03-25 04:57:59 PM  
i40.tinypic.com
 
2010-03-25 04:58:12 PM  
I have this recurring dream that, while I'm in a line in the bank, there's this armored truck transferring a lot of money, and when they leave, the leave a single bag full of cash in the parking lot. I want to go there and grab the bag, but I'm right infront of the cashier, and the bag is there for all to see, so I know I'll be seen when I grab the bag, but still, the money is RIGHT THERE.

/My dreams suck
 
2010-03-25 05:00:29 PM  

CygnusDarius: I have this recurring dream that, while I'm in a line in the bank, there's this armored truck transferring a lot of money, and when they leave, the leave a single bag full of cash in the parking lot. I want to go there and grab the bag, but I'm right infront of the cashier, and the bag is there for all to see, so I know I'll be seen when I grab the bag, but still, the money is RIGHT THERE.

/My dreams suck


Why not grab your pocket watch, press the stop button and walk out?

/obscure?
 
2010-03-25 05:04:06 PM  
Somthing like this happened to me on the Baltimore beltway.. Cars all slam on the breaks as armoured car stops to pick up the money.. 8-10 bags of coins laying in the street. I opened my door to "investigate" what had fallen out till the guard ran at me with his weapon drawn.
 
2010-03-25 05:04:35 PM  

Fabric_Man: RTFA. A bag of money fell out and spilled all over the highway. Nobody has $90k in their basement. Rather, a bunch of people gathered between $100-150 each and ran.

The greedy schmucks who took thousands will be caught right away. (Being Whitehall, it'll probably be spent on rims.) But everyone else will be nearly undetectable, provided they don't brag too much.


I remember seeing one of these go to trial.

Not guilty.

The defense attorney explained the law to the jury and salled those who returned the money "suckers".

Of course there is nothing to stop police from demanding the money back lest those who found it be charged with Garrotry and Barratry on the High Seas.
 
2010-03-25 05:06:37 PM  

el wharrrgarblo: OK, so how do you get away with this?

Wait ten years, or whatever the statute of limitations is? But then couldn't they get you for tax evasion?


Put it into a Swiss bank acount, carrying over $9900 dollars at a time? While that's $1 dollar under the legal amount, you'd still get questioned heavily I'm guessing.


photos14.flickr.com
Look up "money laundering" on Wikipedia?

I assume you'd pay cash for everything. You'd need a "real job" to maintain the facade and make house payments and buy a car. You could buy all your undocumented stuff (TVs, gas, going out to eat, etc) with cash for quite awhile.

Of course, you can't deposit it in the bank, so you're gonna have $90K in the freezer, or buried in a coffee can in the backyard. Actually, $90K is certainly "big", but it's not gonna set you for life anyways. Go through it at $1K/mo and you'll run out in 7.5yrs. So, you'd deposit paychecks in the bank and look all frugal while burning through cash any way you can. Then you'll have a lot of legitimate cash savings in your account from your paychecks in 7.5 yrs.

Of course, if the serial numbers get filed as stolen, then they're gonna find them one by one and try to track you. If you paid utility bills, then they'll likely find out who you are. If they're real determined, they could interview the waitress at the restaurant which accepted the bills and they MIGHT be able to connect you. There may be surveillance footage at a gas station. Any one purchase, it seems unlikely, especially with uncertainty as to whether it was you who dropped that specific bill which got mixed in with the others in the register.

But after hundreds of such purchases, I think chances are pretty good they'll figure out who you are. That's why money launderers prefer to swap the cash in one big drop, like send it to Mexico and trade it for untraceable cash, at some sort of discount. That's why the highway patrol is keen to confiscate large amounts of cash being transported in a car, even without evidence of a crime. Well, that and they get to keep the money. It's a risky venture.
 
2010-03-25 05:18:10 PM  
blog.mlive.com
/Also wanted for questioning
 
2010-03-25 05:18:43 PM  
"HAH Fark your morals, I have bills to pay."

I see barred windows in your future.
 
2010-03-25 05:23:31 PM  
i173.photobucket.com

I'm sorry I took the money.
 
2010-03-25 05:24:05 PM  
Used to live in Whitehall in the '60's (old farker is old). Fifth grade teacher's name was Marilyn Monroe. She got married the next year.

/Cool story, bro.
//Get of my lawn.
 
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