If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   How to smoke in airplane lavatories   (totse.com) divider line 155
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

28110 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2003 at 12:43 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2003-04-30 06:19:15 AM
Me, I'm more concerned with how to get my rubber love doll on a plane.
 
2003-04-30 06:23:24 AM
What does everyone expect when this is on the same website as a category called "KA-farking-Boom!"
 
2003-04-30 06:36:21 AM
I'm alllll for smoker's rights. They should be able to smoke in bars, cars, where the hell ever.
However, I draw the friggin line on airplanes.
Just so ya know, the no-smoking rule on aircraft is not just a mean anal retentive arbitrary crackdown in order to spare the sensitive noses of passengers - there are numerous safety implications. Besides the obvious one, fire, there's the fact that people who have been breathing smoke all day (such as flight crew) don't do so well in an unexpected depressurization. Not only that but the crew won't be able to smell smoke coming from the aircraft itself. And probably most importantly, ciggarette smoke has been shown to screw up the pressurization systems of aircraft over time and lead to unexpected decompressions. Yep, they clog up the "lungs" of airplanes, too :P
 
2003-04-30 06:42:38 AM
Kurtu5 - That's not a bad idea. Hwever in this day and age it'd just never fly (sorry). Airlines want to fill as many seats as possible, and a "smoking lounge" would take up precious real estate. Even if you had a section where people could just smoke in their seats, the air filtration, bulkheads, "airlock" doors and whatnot would just be a huge expense. I'm sure if it were 1963, it'd work great - however this is a point in time when airlines will do ANYthing to save money short of making people get out and push :oP
 
2003-04-30 06:52:11 AM
ACIDPINK:
Nobody else mentioned it, but congrats on another day free!
 
2003-04-30 07:41:09 AM
damn this article. I've been out of smokes for 6 hours now. 2 more and I can get some tobacco, wohoo!

and i plan to quit, starting this september :) pack a day to nothin, cold turkey. should be fun!
 
2003-04-30 08:01:27 AM
04-30-03 04:49:34 AM Kurtu5
Of particular interest was the vacum in the sink. Anyone else used it to smoke... er stuff?


Yep! back in the days when I smoked I used to do exactly that - the only thing is you have to have your head right up to the sinkhole and blow your smoke towards it..its an awful lot of trouble to go for for a smoke and I used to feel like such a criminal - nowadays when i'm on a plane and I feel like a smoke I just open one of the doors.
 
2003-04-30 08:07:51 AM
I personally don't have any particular problem not smoking on flights... just a case of a little willpower and mental preparation. I did have problems with my 3 hour stop over at Chicago O'Hare - which is plastered with 'No smoking - except in designated areas' signs - having got nicely psyched up for a smoke, I spent about 20 minutes looking for one of these areas. Eventually found out there are no designated areas - harsh practical joke indeed. Bastards.

I think there would be a good market for a number of all smoking long haul flights - I can easily see people, especially the older/set in their ways (rich) types, paying 2 or 3 times the ticket price for that service. Wouldn't subject any non smokers to second hand smoke either, so everyone's a winner. Some aspiring businessman ought to give it a go.
 
2003-04-30 08:16:53 AM
04-30-03 12:45:32 AM Dentarth
"wtf you guys are ripping off totse? go to hell."


You mean you never noticed Fark is a bunch of links to other sites? Perceptive.
 
2003-04-30 08:32:02 AM
Yes but I prefer the crisp clean satisfying oral fix of crystal meth. Will this method work for that too?
 
2003-04-30 08:43:32 AM
this would never work...
 
2003-04-30 08:45:58 AM

Has anyone else looked at any of the other stuff on that site? Pretty cool stuff. I'm browsing through a fascinating article about the history of chemical warfare right now. Also, they have an article about making crude firearms. YAY!

As far as the smoking in an airplane bathroom goes, I agree with an earlier poster (don't remember the name, sorry) who suggested nicotine gum or a patch. Good idea, mate!

And to all you anti-smoking fanatics, up yours. You sound like my nagging mother - nagged me so much I never come around anymore.

Everything causes cancer - it's a scientific fact. And all those idiot health Nazis seem to think that (high-pitched Pollyanna voice) if you don't smoke or drink, eat nothing but leaves and granola, and exercise for 6 hours a day, you'll get to live FOREVER and EVER!(/Pollyanna)

Bullsh!t. Hate to bring bad news, Sunshine, but no matter how much you're into "clean living", someday YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. And until you know that, you are useless.

 
2003-04-30 08:55:14 AM
Should be big money in an airline approved tobacco smoke rebreather. So you can enjoy it and not let the smoke escape into the cabin, chocking out the rest of us.
 
2003-04-30 09:02:04 AM
Just smoke openly, with a blatant disregard for regulations. If a stewardess complains, stab her to death with a knife. After all, this is America.
 
2003-04-30 09:05:50 AM

Oh yeah, and one more thing. Fvck the airlines. If I wanted some fat, hairy, illiterate immigrant security-drone named Abdul to jam a probe up my ass, I'd go down to the gay bath house.

But since that's not the case, I prefer to drive wherever I'm going. At least when I drive, I can travel armed to the teeth, with all the knives, razors, machetes, and gas canisters I can load into the car. I can smoke all I want, too.

 
2003-04-30 09:13:47 AM
pack of fags?

"Hey, come on you homos, we're goin' to Tahiti!"

I know it was obvious and childish, but worth it.

Can't smoke? Solution: Smokeless tobacco. Mmmmm... Copenhagen.
 
2003-04-30 09:14:09 AM
As far as getting all the stuff you'd need to do this onto an airplane, I just flew out of Asheville, NC, and was picked for a random security check. They took away two of my lighters (apparently you can do WAY more terrorist-y damage with 4 lighters than with 2), and after taking EVERYTHING out of my purse and carry-on went on to ask me if I had any more lighters (ya know, stashed in my underwear, or something, cuz I had no pockets) or flame-making materials. Turned out I had a long-forgotten pack of matches in one of the pockets, that I just didn't know was there, and when the checker found it, got very, very nasty cuz I didn't tell him it was there (they took that away, too). However, the woman I was flying with not only had about 6 lighters in various places, but a can of aerosal gum-remover and an exacto knife.
She's 60, so no danger there. /sarcasm

After going out for a smoke before the flight, (just me and my boarding pass) they checked me again! Made me do the whole take off the shoes, run me over with the security wand, etc. As a white girl in my mid-20's , I must look like the new wave of terrorist or something.

Oh yeah, smoking on planes is stupid.
 
2003-04-30 09:50:26 AM
I was on a late night flight to Seattle about eight years ago. This guy comes out of the lavitory and the flight attendant (flying waitress) comes up and asks him what going on. To her credit she handled it very well. When she realized he had been smoking she just smiled, made some light comment, and let him sit down.

When we landed their were two Seattle police officers waiting on the jetway. The idiot got himself a night in jail.
 
2003-04-30 09:56:57 AM
Yeah.... Nobody would see you hauling all that shiat through the corridior... It would probably look like your making a bomb to the undercover cop on the plane and you would likely not even make it to the lavitory before you were cold-cocked and on the floor in cuffs'.

Dummest.Article.Ever.
 
2003-04-30 10:04:04 AM
As a smoker, I wouldn't try that on a bet. Better to have a nicotine fit than to subject myself to apprehension by the proverbial jack-booted thugs.
 
2003-04-30 10:19:59 AM
I've flown from Tennessee by way of Atlanta, to Tokyo. That's a hell of a long flight. At the time, I was smoking two packs a day. There were a couple of times when I was jonesin' for a smoke pretty bad, but never bad enough to pull some kind of crazy-assed stunt like that. I don't smoke in restaurants, in the house, or any other place where others will have to deal with it. The way I see it, if I'm going to kill myself, that's my choice, but I respect others' rights as well. (That said, I think the law prohibiting smoking in pubs is really damn stupid.)

I quit for a few months last year and started up again. Yes, I am stupid. I am going to quit again very soon. It's uncomfortable, but I'd rather not deal with the discomfort of emphysema or lung cancer. There are no guarantees that I won't still develop lung cancer, but at least I can cut the odds. Congratulations to the bloke who is on Day 5 of his quit. You're almost halfway through the really tough part, and you're nearly to the end of the toughest week. Hang in there.
 
2003-04-30 10:22:05 AM
FarkingUpTheWrongTree
I'm alllll for smoker's rights. They should be able to smoke in bars, cars, where the hell ever. However, I draw the friggin line on airplanes.
Just so ya know, the no-smoking rule on aircraft is not just a mean anal retentive arbitrary crackdown in order to spare the sensitive noses of passengers.


No smoking laws for bars, cars (i assume you mean cabs) and "where the hell ever" are not to "spare the sensitive noses" of others. It's to prevent non-smokers from having to breathe cancer causing substances. Second hand smoke is a killer. That's a fact. Not as dangerous as smoking yourself, but it is a significant risk. I don't care what cigarette smoke smells like - keep it out of my airspace.
 
2003-04-30 10:27:54 AM
I've noticed in a few airplane lavatories that there is a small sign next to the smoke detector saying something like "it is a violation of federal law to tamper with this unit. Doing so may be punishable by fine or imprisonment."

Do any airline employed Farkers know the exact wording?

I'm not a smoker but I certainly understand their position
however
overriding a safety device is a no-no.
 
2003-04-30 10:40:15 AM
Darknerd
Everything causes cancer - it's a scientific fact. And all those idiot health Nazis seem to think that (high-pitched Pollyanna voice) if you don't smoke or drink, eat nothing but leaves and granola, and exercise for 6 hours a day, you'll get to live FOREVER and EVER!(/Pollyanna)
Bullsh!t. Hate to bring bad news, Sunshine, but no matter how much you're into "clean living", someday YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. And until you know that, you are useless.


So, people who don't think just like you are useless? Don't call sweeping generalizations scientific fact. YOU NOW NOTHING. Keep smoking, please. The more you smoke the less we will have to put up with your attitude and FUD.
 
2003-04-30 10:42:07 AM
Public
Smoking
Asinine
 
2003-04-30 10:46:35 AM
Seems like too much trouble, but thanks for playing!
 
GCD
2003-04-30 10:53:56 AM
This article sucks. I wanna know how to fark on a plane. MILEHIGH CLUB! YAHHHOOO!
 
2003-04-30 11:08:07 AM
I think that this shows just how pathetic nicotine addition is, when people would go to such lengths to have a smoke, and can't wait a couple extra hours.

Besides, I thought that duct tape was a banned carry-on item after September 11th? I thought I heard that somewhere...
 
2003-04-30 11:10:22 AM
Sunbelly

Sucks, don't it? Oh, and if i were single, i'd have to spank the bad kitty!
 
2003-04-30 11:14:23 AM
Obligatory Marijuana plug in:

5.....4......3.....2.....
 
2003-04-30 11:27:24 AM
I'm sorry but Marijuanna causes people to think they can fly and jump off buildings... makes girls get all crazy and stuff. I know, I've seen the movie.
/bad joke

Isn't fart spray in an aerosal can? You can't have that on a plane. It's on the list of items that you can't have mainly due to it's pressurized qualities.

anyways...

*Hoblit pushes up glasses further on nose
 
2003-04-30 11:54:43 AM
Fifteen minutes with the fags in an airport's designated smoking aquarium usually leaves me disgustedly satisfied throughout the flight.

Err...
 
2003-04-30 12:00:56 PM
 
2003-04-30 12:47:51 PM
dumbass...taking a portable vac aboard in your carryon?
wtf? everyone knows you use the sink drain- open it
and you notice it has the neatest little vacuum going on.
use a cardboard tube and make sure everything smoke-wise
goes down the tube. the smoke detctor and the plastic
bowl sounds legit though. better yet, just wait it out
with alcohol...
 
2003-04-30 12:52:49 PM
Anyone know what SATIRE means?
 
2003-04-30 01:41:49 PM
Zaphod42 So, people who don't think just like you are useless? Don't call sweeping generalizations scientific fact. YOU NOW NOTHING. Keep smoking, please. The more you smoke the less we will have to put up with your attitude and FUD.

You silly butt, he was quoting Fight Club.
 
2003-04-30 01:43:24 PM
Hoblit: Have you seen the one about LSD with the chicken? Comedy gold.
 
2003-04-30 02:06:19 PM
I thought it was dennis leary... oh well I lose pop culture jepordy today.

As a smoker and a frequent (70-80%) airline passenger I have a nice seething hatred of the airline industry for their smoking policys. I am all for no smoking on flights, even a 4 hour ATL to LAX is not too bad if ya have a couple scotch and sevens before you get on the plane and two more once in your seat. My beef is the fact that many airports have no "Smoking Sections" after security. That means I have to spend 2 hours without smoking compounded by a 4 hour flight and 45 min before I can pick up my bags. Makes for a smoke free day give us a single damn room after security, put a big noisy vent in there and nice double doors so the fragile do not get cancer from a wiff of the toxins ingest. Not that second hand smoke is very dangerous, but I understand some do not like it. I do not get bothered by not smoking at work, eating establishments etc. But what burns me is that here in the golrious state of Communistfornia I can not smoke in a Bar, oh sure I can get shiatfaced and operate a 2000 pound plus car that obviously poses a greater danger to the public then a little smoke, in a friggin bar. Where the hell does the state get off telling me what I can and can not do in my own buisness, I should be able to permit LEGAL (Stress legal I am not saying the gov should not prevent me from say sodomizing hampsters in my place of buisness but smoking is LEGAL) activities to be conducted in my buisness. Ya wanna make it illegal please do, but do not try to slowly ban it in a manner that bypasses the very checks and balences our nation is founded upon.

ok end rant

FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!
 
2003-04-30 02:08:08 PM
"So, I'll just take my portable vacuum cleaner into the lavatory with me..."

WTF?
 
2003-04-30 02:11:34 PM
Zactly, HeroinBob...

I smoke but...shiat. I can hold out. Besides, it's hard enough bringing carry on luggage on board these days without all that stupid crap like duct tape and a vacuum...

WTF is right!
 
2003-04-30 02:15:57 PM
ACIDPINK:
I wish I had your resolve. I want to quit so bad. I gave birth to two babies over 9 lbs. without drugs, and found that a breeze. Smoking sucks.
 
2003-04-30 02:22:38 PM
I just wish the airlines would tell you which airports had easily accesable smoking areas, and which ones don't.

No smoking on airplanes, fine. I'll live with it until I can afford my own airplane.

But this business of having to walk 1/4 mile, go outside, smoke, then waste securities time by going back in is just bull crap.

Example:

Good airports: Sky Harbor, McCarren.
Bad Airports: LAX, Houston (what a crummy place).

Yes, if I had to have a layover, I'd plan my flights around smoke friendly airports.
 
2003-04-30 02:37:52 PM
DFW can smoke outside but security is pretty quick if ya got 30 min till boarding you have more then enough time
Denver one place to smoke in concourse B but ya gotta buy a drink, but what is the fun of being smashed into a building sober!

Oh and second hand smoke causing cancer is not a fact, it is a theory, a guess supported by tomes of... ok not supported by research but it makes me sneeze so it must cause cancer. Provide me one documented case of second hand smoke causing cancer and you will do better then the thousands of PhD's who have spent their lives trying to do the same. fact my ass
 
2003-04-30 03:28:12 PM
Don't know if it's been said or not, but its easier to just put a condom over the detector and breathe the smoke into the sink while the water's running... It'll still stink of smoke in there, though.

That's what a couple of pilot friends of mine tell me anyway.



Japanese airlines will mostly allow you to smoke on their flights still... Some Arabic ones too.

The easy way to find an airline that allows smoking is to walk around when youre at a large international airport looking at the planes out on the tarmac. Look at the tops of them and youll see a yellowy/black/browny mark running right down the top of the fuselage.
 
2003-04-30 04:02:18 PM
FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!

Interesting definition of FREEEEEDOM. The ability to live your life undisturbed by anyone or anything, except the uncontrollable urge to consume 30 or 40 tubes full of burning leaves every day.

/rollseyes
 
2003-04-30 04:34:45 PM
i would't be surprised if this got yanked by the mods, but for those who like tootse, www.textfiles.com
 
2003-04-30 04:40:21 PM
George Carlin noted that if you keep the 'drain' on the tiny sink open, airflow will keep sucking through there: so if you don't mind smoking with your head almost in a sink wiht your finger on the drain knob, you can dispense with the duct tape and cereal bowl.

Unless you have another use for duct tape and a cereal bowl?

Still a stupid thing to do on a flight, though: one of the only ways to get arrested for smoking a legal drug.
 
2003-04-30 05:32:21 PM
"one of the only ways"

never got that, i thought "only" implied there is only 1 way?!?!?!?!
 
2003-04-30 06:30:02 PM
Or you could just be a man, take control of your life and chuck those fags in the garbage.
 
2003-04-30 06:31:45 PM
I remember the grand old days when you could still smoke in the movie theatres. Nothing like being 12 yrs old and catching a smoke while watching Santa Claus and the Martians.

BTW: If you put the bowl AROUND the smoke detector is it considered "tampering" with the smoke detector?
 
Displayed 50 of 155 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report