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(Some Guy)   How to smoke in airplane lavatories   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
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28205 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Apr 2003 at 12:43 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

155 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-30 01:23:48 AM  
Yup, I'm sure no one will get curious as to what the buzzing noise of a vaccum in a bathroom is. I'm also sure if they demand to come in that they'll totally understand why you taped off the smoke detector. All in all, this sounds like an excellent idea!
2003-04-30 01:23:56 AM  
Don't forget the box-cutters to cut the duct tape.
2003-04-30 01:23:59 AM  
These days, if your pulling a bunch of McGyver like tactics just to have a cig be afraid, very afraid. Some former mall cop turned sky marshall might blow you away for trying to "assemble a bomb" aboard the plane....
2003-04-30 01:24:31 AM  
Brand wins the acronym contest!!
2003-04-30 01:27:42 AM  
How the hell am I supposed to smuggle fags on a plane? They won't fit in the overhead unless they're midgets. Stupid instructions.
2003-04-30 01:29:58 AM  
I thought PSA was:
2003-04-30 01:31:44 AM  
2003-04-30 01:31:47 AM  
Being a smoker, I have to say you are sad if you can not handle a flight without one. Even if I was flying to austrailia, I think I would be ok. Drunk and sleeping alot, but ok, and not getting all mcgyver on the bathroom.

I will file this away though, since I can no longer smoke in bars. Its only a matter of time before I am doing this in my own house.

/conspiracy rant
2003-04-30 01:31:48 AM  
You really think you could get a vacuum cleaner onto an airplane?

2003-04-30 01:38:18 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

My favorite pack of fags.
2003-04-30 01:39:37 AM  
I've been a smoker for a few years now, but I still live with my mom and she doesnt know I smoke.. It sucks ass, smoking a cig as if I'm smoking weed or something, all ninja like, secretive etc.

I soo want one right now but I can't, I have to wait until I go to work tomorrow, then I can smoke like 10 packs to make up for tonight. Dammit!

Oh, and I'm not addicted and I can quit any time, it's true!!
2003-04-30 01:39:47 AM  
I just slide the window in the bathroom open and blow the smoke out.
2003-04-30 01:41:32 AM  
2003-04-30 01:41:49 AM  
Aside from intercontinental flights, anyone who would try this to smoke needs rehab. If you're going overseas, there's nicotine patches and gum. Don't like it? Find some other way to go then.

Nonsmokers do not have the option of leaving the area when you smoke on an airplane. Doing so is as rude as pinning a man down and farting in his face. There is no excuse for it.
2003-04-30 01:41:55 AM  
*lights up, and doesn't care*

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-30 01:44:15 AM  
Elite-mrp then quit. it's a lot harder after ten years, i dont even want to know how hard it would be after twenty...

but goddammit it's hard to quit.
2003-04-30 01:44:51 AM  
Another thing to do is to only fly Air Bulgaria.
2003-04-30 01:45:40 AM  

I would've accpeted 'suck', 'screw' and 'slap' in place of 'serve'. Of course, there are quite a few that 'surprise' when I realize I just had sex with a man...
2003-04-30 01:46:05 AM  
You'd think a portable vacuum cleaner might sound a little suspicious coming from the bathroom... Unless you somehow "missed."
2003-04-30 01:46:30 AM  

1) Great name.

2) PSAs don't get any better than that!
2003-04-30 01:47:01 AM  
I dont wanna quit, i wanna die but im too lazy to just kill myself so i eat a lot and smoke.. ill die of cancer or a heart attack real soon now =P
2003-04-30 01:47:07 AM  

This applies to public buses, not planes, as I'll never, ever fark'n fly in a public plane again. No fark'n way am I going through any airport without those jack-booted thugs fark'n me up. No way. Fark'n feds.

So I go by bus. It's easy. Each lavatory is equipped with a little air flap, so one can easily hit it, then blow it right outta the bus, then mint it so that one's breath is covered. Works great. Going slow on the ground sucks, though, but it now beats dealing with anal-retentive federali agents. One just needs to watch out for sniffer dogs, though, and hightail it outta there when they show up.
Feds...they suck shiat.
2003-04-30 01:50:24 AM  
I just love articles that attempt to play a practical joke on the reader.
2003-04-30 01:55:32 AM  
Great, now we need an article on...

how in the hell to get a portable vaccum cleaner past security these days.
2003-04-30 02:01:43 AM  
1. wear thin cotton pants and no underwear.
2. take bottom panel off laptop computer.
3. disable cooling fan.
4. place firmly on lap and turn on. Let sit undisturbed.
5. you will be smoking shortly.
2003-04-30 02:05:03 AM  
Anybody ever get smoked on an airplane?

/Oh stewardess, could we have a blanket?
2003-04-30 02:05:16 AM  
The give-away smell of smoke is why all good Boy Scouts learn to chew-n-spit while at camp.

"Can I just have the empty cup, Ma-am? Thank you, kindly."
2003-04-30 02:05:27 AM  
or how about kick the urge? ya nasty ass smokers...

"Wahhh! Don't tell me how to kill myself!" in 3...2...1...
2003-04-30 02:08:16 AM  
They should relable this how to spend over $2000 dollars on a simple flight.
2003-04-30 02:13:10 AM  
Space Monkey: Kill yourself. You figure out how. Sorry, but smokers don't want you around anymore.
2003-04-30 02:17:24 AM  
I hate smoking and I hate quitting, I haven't had one in 5 days and I'm feeling a little hateful.
2003-04-30 02:23:30 AM  
Seems like an awful lot of effort just for the sake of a fag.

Better to bring a few pieces of the gum, avoid the hassle.
2003-04-30 02:27:19 AM  
Just light up. Like Dice Clay said, what the fark are they gonna do? Kick you off the plane?
2003-04-30 02:33:05 AM  
This guy obviously smoked enough pot in his parents basement to acquire some real world experience..

And P.S.A. == Private Smoking Annex
2003-04-30 02:35:28 AM  
Of course, when you think about it, maybe there's a good reason why they don't want open flames and poisonous fumes on board an aircraft.
2003-04-30 03:06:58 AM  
More like: [image from too old to be available]
2003-04-30 03:11:01 AM  
2003-04-30 03:51:32 AM  
They obviously are just making this up.

#1, you will never get on a plane with an aerosol container of anything

#2, if you are bringing duct tape, you are probably going to be detained.

2003-04-30 03:53:20 AM  
no one else seen this banner ad?

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-30 03:55:17 AM  
Try this shiat on an airplane:

Fribourg & Treyer High Dry Toast

It's snuff, it's just powdered tobacco. You're supposed to snort it. It was very popular back in the day.
2003-04-30 03:57:33 AM  
Did posts get ganked from this thread? Mine did, hope I didn't say something forbidden...?
2003-04-30 04:02:27 AM  
The article says "favorite pack of fags" and no one posts the 'Yatta!' guys? People, people, people! I'd do it myself if I wasn't using a painfully slow Solaris box on campus.
2003-04-30 04:27:11 AM  
As a smoker, I have to say that I have no problems with not lighting up for 10 hours.
2003-04-30 04:29:03 AM  
18 if you count sleep...
2003-04-30 04:49:34 AM  

Ok so a bunch of you retards wrote to say.... blah blah blah if you cant wait blah balh stupid nicotine addicts blah blah blah.

The real interesting discussion is how normal folks can circumvent the normal controls over behavior implemented by the mass of fools out there and their blah blah blah biatching and rules.

Of particular interest was the vacum in the sink. Anyone else used it to smoke... er stuff?

Secondly, why isnt there a smokeing section in airplanes? Since the cabin air is expelled through the cabin air valve, why not let smokers stand next to it? Make a cone of smokage or something. Perhaps the line to use it would be too long; stupid blah blahing addicts.

2003-04-30 04:52:10 AM  
Maybe there should be whole smoking planes, where everyone, including the crew and pilot smokes.

You want to burn things, you can do it in a different high altitude pressurised metal tube to me.
2003-04-30 04:56:30 AM  
PSA: the particulate in cigarette smoke is too fine for airplane smoke detectors to detect. They are designed to pick up the smoke from burning paper and crap when some farkhead throws his butt in the garbage. They make cans of "smoke" to test the detectors, or alternatively you can use a wad of rolled up tp in a metal box and set it on fire. The reason there are still ashtrays are because not all countries outlaw smoking inflight, also if you do smoke illegaly you can at least extinguish the cigarette somewhere safe rather than throwing it in the trash.
Airplane passengers are morons
2003-04-30 05:45:34 AM  
Anyone else notice that the checklist includes everything except a lighter/matches?
2003-04-30 06:02:11 AM  
Wouldn't covering up the smoke detector constitute tampering with it? Heck, if I saw some lame smoker doing that, I would notify the flight attendant.
2003-04-30 06:13:52 AM  
Trans Atlantic flights can be a pain in the ass for smokers. I always travel with nicoteine patches. They are better than going cold turkey.

Either that or charter your own flight.
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