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(Chortler)   Today's news headlines translated into Canadian   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

19937 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2003 at 8:26 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

89 Comments     (+0 »)

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2003-04-29 01:32:35 PM  
omg because teh caniadiaians are different!!

Blame Canada, rofl its still funny!!1
2003-04-29 01:59:07 PM  
Oot & aboot, eh?
2003-04-29 02:03:16 PM  
Main page material? I thought it an unfunny waste of time.
2003-04-29 02:07:42 PM  
Now, if you made Drudge headlines translated into Canadian then you'd have so much comedy that you'd have to store it in the Superdome.
2003-04-29 04:09:27 PM  
I'd like that 30 seconds of my life back, please.
2003-04-29 05:10:39 PM  
Why was this posted and not the article about the Harry Potter broom that I submitted?!?!?!?!?!
2003-04-29 08:29:04 PM  
I've been to Canada and I still don't find that funny.
2003-04-29 08:30:03 PM  
I live in Canada and I don't find that funny.
2003-04-29 08:30:36 PM  
I'm a canadian in the states and I can't decide if it's funny or not
2003-04-29 08:30:58 PM  
What are you talking about? Canada's always funny, no matter how un-funny it is.
2003-04-29 08:31:06 PM  
2003-04-29 08:31:21 PM  
So.. is this funny?
2003-04-29 08:32:19 PM  
That was double plus unfunny.
2003-04-29 08:35:19 PM  
Leave us alone, eh?
2003-04-29 08:35:24 PM  
I'm Canadian and didn't find it funny - not because I'm Canadian, not because I'm Canadian and we don't know what "funny" is, but because it just wasn't funny. Funny how that works.
2003-04-29 08:36:20 PM  
Dzg8y6: Whoa. Canadian is a different language.
2003-04-29 08:37:03 PM  
pretty funny, eh?
2003-04-29 08:38:10 PM  
its pretty funny for something a canadian came up with.
2003-04-29 08:38:52 PM  
That was aboot as funnie as Canada-related jokes.
2003-04-29 08:39:06 PM  
I AM Canada, and I didn't find that funny.
2003-04-29 08:39:48 PM  
Mostly a bunch of lame crap...

I especially don't agree with this one. Should be the other way round:

..Saddam Hussein (a man who is 100 times more evil than Brian Mulroney)..

Mulrooney invented the hated GST (Goddam Stupid Tax)

This one seemed to hit the nail though, as a couple of weeks ago, when we had just switched to Daylight Savings Time (when things should be getting warmer), I looked out the window to a fresh fall of snow:

"...Canada will experience a diverse range of weather today from freezing cold in the Maritimes, to extremely cold in Ontario and Quebec, icy and cold in the Prairies, unseasonably cold in British Columbia, and near absolute zero in the Yukon and Northwest Territories...
2003-04-29 08:40:03 PM  
2003-04-29 08:40:21 PM  
I don't get it.

Was he trying to be funny?
2003-04-29 08:40:55 PM  
that was lame
2003-04-29 08:41:33 PM  
I dont speak Canadian.
2003-04-29 08:42:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available] to count my second currency
2003-04-29 08:42:27 PM  
anne murray is hot
2003-04-29 08:43:46 PM  
I live in Scotland, regularly say 'aboot' and 'ken'....

And didn't find this funny. ken whit ahmm o' aboot ?

2003-04-29 08:44:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Canadian Hotness.
2003-04-29 08:48:30 PM  
Madonna (the American entertainer who enjoys popularity similar to that of Anne Murray)

I'm insulted and offended! Anne Murray is twice as cool as Madonna!
2003-04-29 08:49:47 PM  
Oh, i get it! Its a joke!... I get jokes!
2003-04-29 08:49:55 PM  
wow.. thats not funny
2003-04-29 09:00:41 PM  
I usually laugh at jokes directed at Canadians. But this kinda really sucked. I live in America Junior, and most of it still doesn't make sense to me.
2003-04-29 09:04:16 PM  
04-29-03 08:39:48 PM Day_Old_Dutchie

I especially don't agree with this one. Should be the other
This one seemed to hit the nail though, as a couple of weeks ago, when we had just switched to Daylight Savings Time (when things should be getting warmer), I looked out the window to a fresh fall of snow:

Hell, I live in Edmonton and I woke up to 4 inches of fresh snow last Sunday
2003-04-29 09:04:57 PM  
It's everything with Bush jokes and "eh".

Geez, the Chortler is lame.
2003-04-29 09:06:31 PM  
Ah Canadian Tire, we'll forgive you for screwing us over when you "fix" our cars, so long as you continue to give out Canadian Tire Money. (or CTM)

I once got a free lamp with that canadian tire money.
2003-04-29 09:07:40 PM  
2003-04-29 09:10:38 PM  
not even a little bit funny?
2003-04-29 09:10:45 PM  
I believe its g-eh!
2003-04-29 09:13:21 PM  
Yea 43% Scott Thompson does look good in drag as an old woman.
2003-04-29 09:20:57 PM  
Canada secks arse. Get a real country, will ya, eh?
2003-04-29 09:21:34 PM  
Hey hoser! It's, like, all the news, all the time, eh?

"Let's go kill some Australians!"

"I think we're fighting Canadians"
2003-04-29 09:22:22 PM  
I submitted this which a much funnier headline...and article...
2003-04-29 09:26:58 PM  
I'll put my Canadian money on "not funny".

Chortler is lame as hell. "Oooh look! We made a reference to Anne Murray! Aren't we Canadian! Aren't we funny!"


Now if you want real Canadian wit, please check out and

2003-04-29 09:31:18 PM  
They should prohibiatchortler links in addition to Annanova links, since the Chortler is consistenly lame. I mean, who actually "chortles" anyway, outside of Lewis Carroll novels?

This just goes to show that although Canada cranks out a lot of great comedians, not every wannabe comedian is great. Man, I've heard funnier stuff from 6-year-olds.
2003-04-29 09:33:33 PM  
"prohibiat" is Canadian for "prohibit", I suppose. Like Lewis Carrol, I can invent words too!
2003-04-29 09:33:57 PM  
Almost as funny as the Drudge headlines from yesterday...

Please no more links from
2003-04-29 09:34:18 PM  
Why can't I highlight the text on that web page? I will never go back because of that.
2003-04-29 09:44:36 PM  
Have you ever been to Canada? It's like they've got their own little country up there.
2003-04-29 09:48:43 PM  
Nothing in that article even resembled funny. is simply NOT funny.
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