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(KPTV)   Rabbi warns of pirate matzah. "So, a scurvy dog you are now? Pillaging on the Sabbath? Oh, and the tattoos. You want your mother should roll over in her grave? Oy."   (kptv.com) divider line 70
    More: Silly, rabbis, Israeli citizens, Passover, flour, pirate matzah  
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4103 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2010 at 11:10 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-03-24 04:07:01 PM
"Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Manischewitz."
valetreader.com
 
2010-03-24 08:38:46 PM
seattlest.com

/what a Jewish pirate looks like
 
2010-03-24 09:01:12 PM
If the punshiment fits the crime the perps will spend the rest of their days in Un-Leavenworth Prison.
 
2010-03-24 10:00:33 PM
Show of hand, who else waited until this weekend for complete pesach cleaning?

Sunday is going to suck.
 
2010-03-24 11:16:22 PM
brap: If the punshiment fits the crime the perps will spend the rest of their days in Un-Leavenworth Prison.

What's not to like?
 
2010-03-24 11:17:23 PM
phlegmmo: "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Manischewitz."

Oy oy matey.
 
2010-03-24 11:18:27 PM
I used to eat Matzoh all year round. Slather it with magarine and a slice of swiss cheese.
 
2010-03-24 11:19:42 PM
BenJammin: I used to eat Matzoh all year round. Slather it with magarine and a slice of swiss cheese.

Meh. Needs bacon.
 
2010-03-24 11:19:51 PM
BenJammin: I used to eat Matzoh all year round. Slather it with magarine and a slice of swiss cheese.

That sounds absolutely revolting.
 
2010-03-24 11:21:40 PM
I read that as "pirate mitzvah." Ahoy, matey, you're a man now!
 
2010-03-24 11:21:56 PM
Why do we have this and no threads on the AIPAC convention?
 
2010-03-24 11:22:11 PM
I started reading the headline in a pirate voice and suddenly it morphed into sounding like Jackie Mason. It was disturbing but beautiful at the same time.
 
2010-03-24 11:22:18 PM
Oy vey, now this is a Jewish Pirate:

www.baseball-almanac.com
 
2010-03-24 11:24:43 PM
DavidVincent: Why do we have this and no threads on the AIPAC convention?

Oy, politics! You want I should have an ulcer?
 
2010-03-24 11:25:47 PM
As an honorary Jew with a poser Catholic mother- should I be concerned about my Hefeweizen consumption? Yeah- I think this is all a strange problem. I will purchase a rosary bead set on the morrow, then be overcome by guilt. Hoist!
 
2010-03-24 11:26:11 PM
DavidVincent: Why do we have this and no threads on the AIPAC convention?

We're waiting for the Jewish pirates to storm the building.
 
2010-03-24 11:28:57 PM
Barakku: DavidVincent: Why do we have this and no threads on the AIPAC convention?

Oy, politics! You want I should have an ulcer?


You schmuck! I got have gotten it for you wholesale.
 
2010-03-24 11:32:06 PM
Tatsuma: Show of hand, who else waited until this weekend for complete pesach cleaning?

Does my job count? There's a bar mitzvah this weekend. Still got lots of chametz around.

/have a happy & kosher Pesach dude
 
2010-03-24 11:33:16 PM
FTFA: "A week before the start of the holiday of Passover, Israeli police raided a warehouse containing a 7-ton stockpile of matzah with fake kosher certificates."

7 tons of fake matzah?

This is no petty criminal.

Clearly organized crime.

Could be the work of the Kosher Nostra.
 
2010-03-24 11:35:20 PM
Farker T: FTFA: "A week before the start of the holiday of Passover, Israeli police raided a warehouse containing a 7-ton stockpile of matzah with fake kosher certificates."

7 tons of fake matzah?

This is no petty criminal.

Clearly organized crime.

Could be the work of the Kosher Nostra.


Leave the gun. Take the rugelach.
 
2010-03-24 11:38:22 PM
Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: FTFA: "A week before the start of the holiday of Passover, Israeli police raided a warehouse containing a 7-ton stockpile of matzah with fake kosher certificates."

7 tons of fake matzah?

This is no petty criminal.

Clearly organized crime.

Could be the work of the Kosher Nostra.

Danger Avoid Death: Leave the gun. Take the rugelach.


Okay...

Wait, which one was taped behind the toilet tank?
 
2010-03-24 11:43:02 PM
Farker T: Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: FTFA: "A week before the start of the holiday of Passover, Israeli police raided a warehouse containing a 7-ton stockpile of matzah with fake kosher certificates."

7 tons of fake matzah?

This is no petty criminal.

Clearly organized crime.

Could be the work of the Kosher Nostra.

Danger Avoid Death: Leave the gun. Take the rugelach.

Okay...

Wait, which one was taped behind the toilet tank?


Where else would you keep your rugelach?
 
2010-03-24 11:47:58 PM
Hurray for me; I get to buy all my sweetie's chametz and no cleaning needed :)
 
2010-03-24 11:52:43 PM
I'm willing to buy your chametz virtually. (SERIOUSLY.) Although you are in Chicago or in New York, you can say that your stuff belongs to someone living in Indiana! Is that proper do that? If so, let me know.
 
2010-03-24 11:59:58 PM
I read the headline in Jackie Mason's voice in my head.

www.biggybank.com

Oy vey!
 
2010-03-25 12:03:47 AM
Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: FTFA: "A week before the start of the holiday of Passover, Israeli police raided a warehouse containing a 7-ton stockpile of matzah with fake kosher certificates."

7 tons of fake matzah?

This is no petty criminal.

Clearly organized crime.

Could be the work of the Kosher Nostra.

Danger Avoid Death: Leave the gun. Take the rugelach.

Okay...

Wait, which one was taped behind the toilet tank?

Danger Avoid Death: Where else would you keep your rugelach?


But aren't you worried about the concentration... Oh, I'm sorry, I meant the condensation?

Flat matzah and soggy rugelach.

And they say we don't suffer!
 
2010-03-25 12:03:51 AM
I loved the headline.
 
2010-03-25 12:06:51 AM
phlegmmo: "Yo, ho, ho and a bottle of Manischewitz."

calbert: /what a Jewish pirate looks like

MAYORBOB: Oy vey, now this is a Jewish Pirate:

SecretAgentWoman: I read the headline in Jackie Mason's voice in my head.

Oy vey!




I LOVE THIS THREAD!
 
2010-03-25 12:12:54 AM
DavidVincent: Why do we have this and no threads on the AIPAC convention?

Hmmm...perhaps because "it's not news. It's FARK".
 
2010-03-25 12:15:23 AM
This is the second year in a row that my wife-elect's birthday has fallen on Passover. She is pissed off that she can't have any birthday cupcake.
 
2010-03-25 12:17:40 AM
calbert: /what a Jewish pirate looks like

But I don't WANNA be a pirate!
 
2010-03-25 12:22:56 AM
Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll.
 
2010-03-25 12:23:49 AM
This is a funny threads.

Thousands of years of HUMOR!
 
2010-03-25 12:28:17 AM
MadTheologian: I'm willing to buy your chametz virtually. (SERIOUSLY.) Although you are in Chicago or in New York, you can say that your stuff belongs to someone living in Indiana! Is that proper do that? If so, let me know.

It is a contract. You legally own their chametz. You can go raid their liquor stash. Not that I'm advocating that...

/will only buy chametz from people with good booze
 
2010-03-25 12:31:54 AM
Porous Horace: Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll ball.


Matzos. Ball.

FTFY
 
2010-03-25 12:32:17 AM
willicus: This is the second year in a row that my wife-elect's birthday has fallen on Passover. She is pissed off that she can't have any birthday cupcake.


So what? My birthday is on Columbus Day, and I still beat the living shiat out of a guido on that day.
 
2010-03-25 12:33:11 AM
Farker T: Porous Horace: Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll ball.

Matzos. Ball.

FTFY


You're gefiltefishing.
 
2010-03-25 12:35:44 AM
The_Sponge: willicus: This is the second year in a row that my wife-elect's birthday has fallen on Passover. She is pissed off that she can't have any birthday cupcake.


So what? My birthday is on Columbus Day, and I still beat the living shiat out of a guido on that day.


Why? How rude!

Wasn't Columbus Jewish or something?
 
2010-03-25 12:36:15 AM
Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: Porous Horace: Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll ball.

Matzos. Ball.

FTFY

You're gefiltefishing.


Matzo ball, gefilte fishing? Tell maror bad jokes, they make me cry with laughter.
 
2010-03-25 12:38:35 AM
Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: Porous Horace: Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll ball.

Matzos. Ball.

FTFY

You're gefiltefishing.


If you want to catch a gefilte fish, you need a good Jew-baiting your hook.
 
2010-03-25 12:39:08 AM
Duck_of_Doom: Danger Avoid Death: Farker T: Porous Horace: Don't think for a minute that Iran isn't behind this.
It's how they roll ball.

Matzos. Ball.

FTFY

You're gefiltefishing.

Matzo ball, gefilte fishing? Tell maror bad jokes, they make me cry with laughter.


Yet you never call your mother.
 
2010-03-25 12:42:45 AM
willicus: This is the second year in a row that my wife-elect's birthday has fallen on Passover. She is pissed off that she can't have any birthday cupcake.

you had an election to find your wife?
 
2010-03-25 12:43:09 AM
simpsonfan: There were Jewish pirates. Google it if you don't believe it.

Captain Morganstern and his chest of Goldblums.
 
2010-03-25 12:44:12 AM
frizzantik: willicus: This is the second year in a row that my wife-elect's birthday has fallen on Passover. She is pissed off that she can't have any birthday cupcake.

you had an election to find your wife?


Worked for James Carville.
 
2010-03-25 12:45:49 AM
and what's with all the shiksas? Would it kill you to rape and pillage a nice jewish girl?
 
2010-03-25 12:47:06 AM
NuttierThanEver: and what's with all the shiksas? Would it kill you to rape and pillage a nice jewish girl?

It might nag you to death.
 
2010-03-25 12:48:15 AM
Danger Avoid Death: simpsonfan: There were Jewish pirates. Google it if you don't believe it.

Captain Morganstern and his chest of Goldblums.


Yo ho ho and a bottle of MD 20/20!

(Fortified - Not sure if K/P. Consult your rabbi)
 
2010-03-25 12:50:23 AM
NuttierThanEver: and what's with all the shiksas? Would it kill you to rape and pillage a nice jewish girl?

You made me laugh irreverently.

A pox on your house.
 
2010-03-25 12:55:43 AM
Danger Avoid Death: NuttierThanEver: and what's with all the shiksas? Would it kill you to rape and pillage a nice jewish girl?

It might nag you to death.


Bloody nags.

www.noquarterusa.net
 
2010-03-25 12:56:16 AM
I see the good jews on FARK are up late tonight....

/shiksa
 
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