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(Yahoo)   Under Arkansas law you can run as "Bubba", "Porky" or even "Two" but they draw the line at "Colonel", even if you are one   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 65
    More: Strange, Porky, independent candidates, Christine Pelosi, secretary of states, fifth grades, military uniforms, u.s. rep., ratings  
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8254 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2010 at 4:59 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-23 01:48:19 PM  
Arkansas is abbreviated AR. AK is the abbreviation for Alaska.

I bet subby is Sarah Palin.
 
2010-03-23 02:15:22 PM  
AK is Alaska, dumbass.
 
2010-03-23 02:21:43 PM  
Ak?

www.toddmintz.com
 
2010-03-23 02:38:07 PM  
I wonder what Sergeant Shriver would have had to say about that.
 
2010-03-23 02:45:22 PM  
Under state law, already-elected officials can use their titles on the ballot. People seeking office can use a nickname - and many do when no one can recollect their given names. But the law prohibits professional or honorary titles from being used as nicknames.

Gosh, I wonder why they would do that...

Conrad Reynolds, one of eight Republicans running for the Senate, hoped to point out his military credentials by filing candidacy papers as "Conrad `Colonel' Reynolds," but election officials wouldn't allow it.

Oh, right, because it would seem like he was being endorsed by the government.
Look, Reynolds, if your only hope for being elected is trumpeting out your military credentials, then you'd probably suck at being a Senator.
 
2010-03-23 03:04:56 PM  
Plus it would unfairly influence the electorate by causing them to conflate Mr. Reynolds with delicious, crispy chicken.
 
2010-03-23 03:41:31 PM  
D'James? WTF

GOD, what a hick state! :-/
 
2010-03-23 04:14:59 PM  
Oh I hate the Colonel, with his wee *BEADY* eyes and that smug look on his face!!!
 
2010-03-23 05:02:48 PM  
www.tactileint.com
If he was still alive, he would have a word with the AK officials.
 
2010-03-23 05:03:03 PM  
If I lived there, I would just run under "The Moops"
 
2010-03-23 05:05:01 PM  
AR you serious? It's OK subby. AZ for ME, I knew the abbreviation. But you are gonna make lotsa people IL.
 
2010-03-23 05:06:10 PM  
I knew a woman that dated a man who told everyone to call him "5-card". No one called him "5-card"
 
2010-03-23 05:06:53 PM  
Every now and then when I have to give my address I like to say Arkansas, just so I can hear a dumbass say, 'What's the abbreviation for that?'

One of my friends in Los Angeles actually addresses my letters with AK, but thanks to zip code they still get here.
 
2010-03-23 05:07:43 PM  

Sybarite


Plus it would unfairly influence the electorate by causing them to conflate Mr. Reynolds with delicious, crispy chicken.


Too bad for Reynolds - looks like he was foiled again.
 
2010-03-23 05:08:32 PM  
Kyosuke: I wonder what Sergeant Shriver would have had to say about that.

IIRC his given name was SARGENT, so apparently his parents either had an odd sense of humour, or just couldn't spell.

/Major Major Major Major
//Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
 
2010-03-23 05:08:55 PM  
You know who is also known as Coronel?.

www.nerve.com
 
2010-03-23 05:09:47 PM  
www.tactileint.com
RIP Pat "Mr. Miyagi" Morrita
 
2010-03-23 05:10:29 PM  
Bad news for Tarquin Fintimlimbimlimbimwhinbimlin Bus Stop
Ftang Ftang Olay Biscuit Barrel (Silly: Luten)
 
2010-03-23 05:11:05 PM  
www.ladybooster.com
/Porky, eh? Go figure...
 
2010-03-23 05:12:32 PM  
therobalution.com
 
2010-03-23 05:14:24 PM  
Theaetetus: Oh, right, because it would seem like he was being endorsed by the government.

So if you saw "Conrad 'Colonel' Reynolds" on the ballot you would assume he was endorsed by the government? Are you new to the US?

It's because he was trying to use Colonel as a nickname. He should have just asked to include his title before his name.
 
2010-03-23 05:15:16 PM  
But if had not actually been a Colonel, but just had it as a nickname, you could have it.

He should use "General" or "Vice Admiral" instead.
 
2010-03-23 05:17:28 PM  
Theaetetus: Oh, right, because it would seem like he was being endorsed by the running for government.

ftfy
 
2010-03-23 05:21:52 PM  
In Washington State, you can run on the ballot as 'Doc' despite not being a doctor or a college graduate for that matter.
 
2010-03-23 05:22:30 PM  
trappedspirit
I knew a woman that dated a man who told everyone to call him "5-card". No one called him "5-card"


Yeah...self nicknaming never works. Because it's lame. Knew a guy in college who tried to nickname himself "The Sarge". F*ck you, Brian.
 
2010-03-23 05:23:54 PM  
Colonel Angus demands satisfaction! This will not stand, suh!
 
2010-03-23 05:24:52 PM  
culebra: Colonel Angus demands satisfaction! This will not stand, suh!

I guess he'll have to run under his given name, Enil Angus, instead.
 
2010-03-23 05:29:08 PM  
AK is for Alaska, Submitard, AR is for whatever godforsaken hole this article crawled out of.
 
2010-03-23 05:33:24 PM  
Call me T-Bone.
 
2010-03-23 05:33:39 PM  
Subby is definitely not smarter than a fifth grader.
 
2010-03-23 05:34:11 PM  
I use five names IRL because of my prosopagnosia (face-blindness). By what you call me I can usually tell from where I know you. I instinctively worked out this system as a kid and it's served me well. I can still freak people out, though, especially if they changed their hair or overall clothing style/appearance. My friends just know to immediately announce who they are if we're to meet outside a restaurant or a movie theater.

I can tell you that black people are the most annoyed when I don't recognize them - most likely a remnant of that "blacks all look alike" mentality. Well, they do to me. But so do whites and Asians. Asians are cool about it or at least never seem upset if I make a mistake. Whites are a mixed bag and reactions vary by intelligence and location. And forget twins. I'm just lost with them.
 
2010-03-23 05:40:06 PM  
radioman_: I can tell you that black people are the most annoyed when I don't recognize them - most likely a remnant of that "blacks all look alike" mentality.

By the way that you worded that, I think your problem with blacks runs deeper than you think.
 
2010-03-23 05:41:12 PM  
radioman_: I use five names IRL because of my prosopagnosia (face-blindness). By what you call me I can usually tell from where I know you. I instinctively worked out this system as a kid and it's served me well. I can still freak people out, though, especially if they changed their hair or overall clothing style/appearance. My friends just know to immediately announce who they are if we're to meet outside a restaurant or a movie theater.

I can tell you that black people are the most annoyed when I don't recognize them - most likely a remnant of that "blacks all look alike" mentality. Well, they do to me. But so do whites and Asians. Asians are cool about it or at least never seem upset if I make a mistake. Whites are a mixed bag and reactions vary by intelligence and location. And forget twins. I'm just lost with them.


I swear I think I must have a mild form of this. Seriously.
 
2010-03-23 05:46:01 PM  
To The Escape Zeppelin!: Theaetetus: Oh, right, because it would seem like he was being endorsed by the government.

So if you saw "Conrad 'Colonel' Reynolds" on the ballot you would assume he was endorsed by the government? Are you new to the US?

It's because he was trying to use Colonel as a nickname. He should have just asked to include his title before his name.


Reading the article was obviously too hard for you, huh? The only titles that are allowed are those of currently elected officials: Governor So-and-so or Senator So-and-so.
Not other titles, like Doctor so-and-so, So-and-so, Esq., or Colonel Farkity-Fark.
His brilliant idea was to say "oh, I can't use my military title? Well, it's not just a title, it's also my nickname! Make me Farkity 'Colonel' Fark!"
To which the election officials wisely responded, "how stupid do you think we are? GTFO."
 
2010-03-23 05:46:42 PM  
trappedspirit: I knew a woman that dated a man who told everyone to call him "5-card". No one called him "5-card"

To continue the theme of an earlier TFD... men who call themselves "5-card" can get dates, but I can't.
 
2010-03-23 05:49:07 PM  
trappedspirit: I knew a woman that dated a man who told everyone to call him "5-card". No one called him "5-card"

Because he had a hand like a foot.
 
2010-03-23 05:49:29 PM  
"Hey Mitch, how do you abbreviate Arkansas?
Well, you just start spellin' it, then quit."
 
2010-03-23 05:54:07 PM  
Came for Bill the cat.

/leaving sticky and itchy
 
2010-03-23 05:55:37 PM  
AR
 
2010-03-23 05:55:59 PM  
Colonel Porky?
 
2010-03-23 05:57:05 PM  
wiregeek: AK is for Alaska, Submitard

Thank GOD you were available to show up to the thread 4 hours later to translate Pfactor's post into liter.
 
2010-03-23 05:59:12 PM  
Beeblebrox

Because he had a hand like a foot.



You hear about the man who had 5 penises?

His pants fit him like a glove.
 
2010-03-23 06:28:09 PM  
There once was a man in Kentucky who was charged with an offense. In the courtroom, he told the judge, "Please address me as Colonel Soandso." The judge replied "As we have no record of you ever being in the military, can you explain what the 'Colonel' means?" The man answered "The same thing that 'Honorable' means before YOUR name."
 
2010-03-23 06:30:49 PM  
It appears that subby has not sent many letters to Arkansas.
 
2010-03-23 06:33:32 PM  
I was once told that 'Colonel' is also the title for certified auctioneers.
Can anybody confirm or deny?
 
2010-03-23 06:36:30 PM  
Vkingbanna: I was once told that 'Colonel' is also the title for certified auctioneers.
Can anybody confirm or deny?


I know a certified auctioneer who certainly believes it is.
 
2010-03-23 06:41:11 PM  
mofomisfit: Vkingbanna: I was once told that 'Colonel' is also the title for certified auctioneers.
Can anybody confirm or deny?

I know a certified auctioneer who certainly believes it is.


That actually deserves a little bit of explanation: the guy I know goes off to auctioneer training or whatever, gets his certification, comes back (I think the training was in NY maybe?) and he's handing out business cards that say Colonel Blah Blahblah. So everyone's like "LOLWUT Blah?" and he tells me that in the old days in the south auctioneers were called Colonel and in the north they were called the Knights of Something-or-other. So he decided to be a colonel.

Difficulty: we're in Massachusetts.
 
2010-03-23 06:41:44 PM  
What the Hell is Wrong With Alaska?
 
2010-03-23 06:44:43 PM  
In the South, sirrah, (you should be reading this in the voice of Foghorn Leghorn since that first use of "sirrah", right up there, to the left*, no your other left*), it is extremely confusing for members of the populace if you are a military office of the rank of Colonel (retired) and use the title as your nickname. In order to avoid such confusion, it is traditional for Colonels to use the nickname "General". Majors use the nickname "Colonel", Lieutenants use the nickname "Major" and Corporals use the nickname "Spud", unless they are Napoleon Buonaparte, in which case they use the nickname "Lefty".

*If you don't have a left, never mind.
 
2010-03-23 06:48:03 PM  
culebra: Colonel Angus demands satisfaction! This will not stand, suh!

came for Colonel Angus...

errr...

I'll just leave this here

4.bp.blogspot.com
/hot like Colonel Angus
 
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