Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Detroit Free Press)   If your own daughter won't let you pick her up from school... yeah, you might be too drunk to drive, mom   (freep.com) divider line 33
    More: Dumbass, alcohol by volume, free press, ferndale, arraignment, mom  
•       •       •

8165 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Mar 2010 at 10:37 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2010-03-23 09:38:03 AM  
Mr. Briggs: Hey, uhh... I might be late to pick you guys up.
Janey: Why, do you have a job interview today, daddy?
Mr. Briggs: No honey, I'll probably just be waaaay too drunk.
Janey: Oh, that's good, we don't want you drinking and driving.
Mr. Briggs: Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too shiat-faced to remember to pick you guys up.
 
2010-03-23 10:39:23 AM  
Sure are a lot more drunk women drivers lately...
 
2010-03-23 10:41:20 AM  
tuffsnake: Sure are a lot more drunk women drivers getting caught lately...

FTFM
 
2010-03-23 10:41:59 AM  
tuffsnake: Sure are a lot more drunk women drivers lately...

It's the obesity epidemic, they just aren't hot enough to get away with it anymore.
 
2010-03-23 10:44:15 AM  
Ashtrey: tuffsnake: Sure are a lot more drunk women drivers lately...

It's the obesity epidemic, they just aren't hot enough to get away with it anymore.


I thought they were just hoping the beer goggles effect would work when they looked in the mirror.

/it doesn't
 
2010-03-23 10:49:25 AM  
Three times the legal limit AND on Xanax?

Yeah, she was probably not quite fit to be driving that day.
 
2010-03-23 10:52:57 AM  
Hmmm. With all the fatties running around, one would think that the drunks would be men.
 
2010-03-23 10:56:07 AM  
having kids will do that do you.
 
2010-03-23 10:59:58 AM  
Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and rollers.
 
2010-03-23 11:01:18 AM  
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

/No occifer, I cannot walk the squiggly line
 
2010-03-23 11:04:48 AM  
Well, she's fat, drunk, drug impaired and pretty much by definition.. Farking Stupid!!

The prosecution rests.
 
2010-03-23 11:06:28 AM  
"you're here early"
"mom picked me up early from school so she wouldn't be late"
"wow, that's the worst thing I have ever heard"
"I had to drive because she had a 'buzz on'"
"No, that's it"
 
2010-03-23 11:07:21 AM  
Another Government Employee: Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and nothing but rollers.


/fixed that for my experience.
//almost nothing worse than the stench of hairspray, booze and Kent cigarettes in a station wagon on a rainy schoolday.
 
2010-03-23 11:08:10 AM  
Another Government Employee
Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and rollers.


Depends on the Mom...

AND why are they in school at 3:30 pm?? Sounds like the daughter isn't ANYTHING like her mother. And by that, I mean, not cool.

/NERDS!!!!!
 
2010-03-23 11:09:07 AM  
fappomatic: Another Government Employee: Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and nothing but rollers.

/fixed that for my experience.
//almost nothing worse than the stench of hairspray, booze and Kent cigarettes in a station wagon on a rainy schoolday.


I'll trade you the Kents for Chesterfields and a VW Beetle (1st time) or a Camaro (2nd time) for the Station Wagon.
 
2010-03-23 11:10:41 AM  
Or too fat.
 
2010-03-23 11:10:53 AM  
This biatch know how to party!
 
2010-03-23 11:12:32 AM  
What is wrong with kids today? We used to call that fun time with mommie. Seriously my mom was a drunk who used to let us stand up in the seats, she managed to wreck 8 cars between the time I was 1 and 16, all while drunk, yet never lost her license. Hell she wrecked two while pregnant with my brother. I've been thrown into the floor boards twice, over the backseat into the dash board once and through the windshield once, yet managed to survive my childhood. A drunk for a parent is just the natural state of life, isn't it?
 
2010-03-23 11:16:59 AM  
The Free Press is not naming the woman to protect the girl's identity.

What's the point, everyone at school already knows who she is
 
2010-03-23 11:17:19 AM  
You should have to have a license to have kids.

That girl is going to carry that memory with her forever. Sad.
 
2010-03-23 11:36:48 AM  
Fox2News had no problem outing her identity and gave us mugshot goodness.

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/local/police:-drunk-mom-at-ferndale-high-s c hool-100322
 
2010-03-23 11:38:36 AM  
Needs to be in jail, and for a long time.
 
2010-03-23 11:40:02 AM  
tuffsnake: Sure are a lot more drunk women drivers lately...

Yub cahma lun waiyyyyyy bay-hic-baaaaabbbYY!
 
2010-03-23 12:19:46 PM  
i287.photobucket.com

Probably inappropriate

/since it was Ferndale - she should have called her other mommy to pick her up
 
2010-03-23 01:04:50 PM  
detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: Probably inappropriate

/since it was Ferndale - she should have called her other mommy to pick her up


This made me lol. So true. So true.
 
2010-03-23 01:16:25 PM  
Another Government Employee: fappomatic: Another Government Employee: Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and nothing but rollers.

/fixed that for my experience.
//almost nothing worse than the stench of hairspray, booze and Kent cigarettes in a station wagon on a rainy schoolday.

I'll trade you the Kents for Chesterfields and a VW Beetle (1st time) or a Camaro (2nd time) for the Station Wagon.


Dad??!?!??!
 
2010-03-23 01:23:07 PM  
fappomatic: Another Government Employee: fappomatic: Another Government Employee: Been there.
Done that.

The shame is worse when Mom is in a nightie and nothing but rollers.

/fixed that for my experience.
//almost nothing worse than the stench of hairspray, booze and Kent cigarettes in a station wagon on a rainy schoolday.

I'll trade you the Kents for Chesterfields and a VW Beetle (1st time) or a Camaro (2nd time) for the Station Wagon.

Dad??!?!??!


Yes, Son. It's true.
 
2010-03-23 01:25:57 PM  
OMG it's soooooo embarrassing when that happens.
 
2010-03-23 01:39:10 PM  
Detroit. You need your own tag.


From the comments:

MyManBHO1 wrote:

Why are they picking on her? She didn't hit anything did she? She is probably used to driving like this and does a fine job. They need to find something else to do with their time besides pick on women like this.

3/23/2010 7:36:04 AM
 
2010-03-23 02:00:59 PM  
Sounds like my ex-sister-in-law. Her daughter has gotten to the point where she has refuses to get in to the car with her if mom has been drinking and will call her father or a grandparent 2 hours away to come get her.

Sad state of affairs, she still has custody.
 
2010-03-23 02:26:37 PM  
Sebastian: Sounds like my ex-sister-in-law. Her daughter has gotten to the point where she has refuses to get in to the car with her if mom has been drinking and will call her father or a grandparent 2 hours away to come get her.

Sad state of affairs, she still has custody.



Teach the kid to call the cops. Dad'll have custody soon enough...
 
2010-03-23 03:24:19 PM  
i42.tinypic.com
Maeby: My mom signed me out of school early, so then she wouldn’t have to pick me up later, so then she wouldn’t be late for the Christmas party.

Michael: That’s about the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

Maeby: I had to drive because she had a little bit of a buzz on.

Michael: No, that’s it.
 
2010-03-23 05:56:58 PM  
Damn! My father died of alcoholism and only got one DUI ever...
 
Displayed 33 of 33 comments



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report