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(LA Times)   "Bees bees bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away, your firearms are useless against them!"   (latimes.com) divider line 118
    More: Scary  
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16080 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2010 at 4:32 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2010-03-20 01:16:08 PM
www.valdosta.edu
 
2010-03-20 01:36:56 PM
Officials warn people to stay away from bee swarms and avoid loud noises or wild movements that may disturb the bees.

www.mojoimage.com


"How do you annoy a BEE?"
 
2010-03-20 01:39:55 PM
Man, f*ck bees.
 
2010-03-20 01:55:17 PM
 
2010-03-20 02:14:16 PM
Holy schnikes, it worked!
 
2010-03-20 02:24:17 PM
i.imgur.comi.imgur.comi.imgur.com
 
2010-03-20 02:35:24 PM
Oblig.

img511.imageshack.us
 
2010-03-20 02:44:31 PM
Serious question: How do bee keepers have hundreds (or more) bees all over them and not get stung? Unlike these two joggers, I mean. Is this a seasonal / territorial / other thing?
 
2010-03-20 03:03:38 PM
images.fanpop.com
 
2010-03-20 03:40:37 PM
doubleaxhandle.com
 
2010-03-20 04:23:48 PM
One summer, between semesters at college, a friend of mine and I decided our favorite place to smoke up and chill out was in the old barn on his family's land. Unfortunately, some bumble bees had decided to make their nest behind a sheet of old plywood. His mom wanted them gone because the barn was where the goats ate and slept and when she went to feed them, the bees would buzz her.

We would to get lit up, arm ourselves(we had a small fireplace shovel and a badminton racket) and proceed to battle bumble bees. Several times, the bees swarmed up and chased us from the barn. Most of the time, however, we would smack them into the Promised Land when they were coming in for a landing. The fireplace shovel earned the nicknames "El Kabong" and "The Kabonger" for the sound it made when you swatted a bee for a home run.

We spent the whole summer fighting with them. My friend's mom and older sister used to stand outside and watch us acting like Cheech and Chong fighting with bumble bees. We'd be yelling and screaming and swinging like madmen, stumbling over each other and falling down and we'd look up to see them laughing their asses off at us. It made for a pretty memorable summer.

/cool story bro?
 
2010-03-20 04:35:44 PM
monkeyman3875 = win
 
2010-03-20 04:37:31 PM
img30.imageshack.us

Nope, fire seems to have done the trick.
 
2010-03-20 04:39:22 PM
I, for one, welcome our new bee overlords!
 
2010-03-20 04:39:33 PM
TwistedIvory: Man, f*ck bees.

First thing I thought of.

PacManDreaming: One summer, between semesters at college....

/cool story bro?


Cool story bro.
 
2010-03-20 04:40:01 PM
i39.tinypic.com

G.O.B.: Oh. Good. Well, I'll start my own business. How hard can it be? Bzz! We'll see who brings in more honey. Bzz!

Micheal: He's thinking about bees again.
 
2010-03-20 04:41:31 PM
TheNyquilKid: G.O.B.: Oh. Good. Well, I'll start my own business. How hard can it be? Bzz! We'll see who brings in more honey. Bzz!

Micheal: He's thinking about bees again.


Thank you. Thank you so much.
 
2010-03-20 04:41:35 PM
it must have been a republican hive.
 
2010-03-20 04:41:51 PM
 
2010-03-20 04:45:58 PM
Videogame reference in 3.. 2.. 1..

Sounds like they were attacked by a Splicer. Damn swarm plasmid...
 
2010-03-20 04:47:42 PM
Elliot DiMauro: She left you in the woods, buddy. Nice girls don't do that.
Dennis Finch: Yeah! There were bees, and other loud things.
 
2010-03-20 04:49:03 PM
PacManDreaming: One summer, between semesters at college...

That was a good story. Lacked a good climactic ending, though. I suggest, in the future, you tell everyone that someone locked the barn door from the outside...and while you were yelling that you were in the barn....the bees started to swarm...
 
2010-03-20 04:49:37 PM
www.carolastrickland.com
 
2010-03-20 04:49:58 PM
The summer/fall I coached kid's soccer we had a record drought. As a result, come September 1, yellow jackets everywhere were in a foul mood. The parents on game day parked themselves under a near-by tree to watch. (Rather than to kvetch and 2nd guess from the sidelines.) One break, a kid poured some of his fruit juice down a hole in the ground and before my little word balloon, "Dooooonnnnn't" evaporated half those present were stung. Repeatedly. Kids got stung through their shin guards. (Or claimed they did anyway.) That same day, my wife was out back in our yard watering bushes and the same thing happened. Water down the yellow jacket nest, and an angry cloud of stinging insects on a mission from goad. My wife was the only target and must have been stung over 50 times. I'm still amazed she made it.
 
2010-03-20 04:51:45 PM
I would PUNCH every BEE in the FACE!
 
2010-03-20 04:52:42 PM
Hau Ruck

Serious question: How do bee keepers have hundreds (or more) bees all over them and not get stung? Unlike these two joggers, I mean. Is this a seasonal / territorial / other thing?



For the most part, depending on the species, bees are pretty docile. A friend of mine is a beekeeper. I have handled combs and had tens of bees crawling all over my uncovered hands, and never got stung. Move slowly, be gentle, and generally you will not get stung.

Do NOT crush a bee, no matter how freaked out you are. A chemical is released that makes other bees attack you.
 
2010-03-20 04:53:27 PM
www.ugo.com

"the drive B"
 
2010-03-20 04:54:19 PM
PacManDreaming: One summer, between semesters at college, a friend of mine and I decided our favorite place to smoke up and chill out was in the old barn on his family's land. Unfortunately, some bumble bees had decided to make their nest behind a sheet of old plywood. His mom wanted them gone because the barn was where the goats ate and slept and when she went to feed them, the bees would buzz her.

We would to get lit up, arm ourselves(we had a small fireplace shovel and a badminton racket) and proceed to battle bumble bees. Several times, the bees swarmed up and chased us from the barn. Most of the time, however, we would smack them into the Promised Land when they were coming in for a landing. The fireplace shovel earned the nicknames "El Kabong" and "The Kabonger" for the sound it made when you swatted a bee for a home run.

We spent the whole summer fighting with them. My friend's mom and older sister used to stand outside and watch us acting like Cheech and Chong fighting with bumble bees. We'd be yelling and screaming and swinging like madmen, stumbling over each other and falling down and we'd look up to see them laughing their asses off at us. It made for a pretty memorable summer.

/cool story bro?


Whenever you went into the nest, you should have yelled:

"It's an ugly planet! It's a bug planet!"

And then get torn in half. By a bee.
 
2010-03-20 04:55:31 PM
Guns useless against bees?

farm1.static.flickr.com

Approves
 
2010-03-20 04:56:10 PM
yakmans_dad

The summer/fall I coached kid's soccer we had a record drought. As a result, come September 1, yellow jackets everywhere were in a foul mood.

Yellowjackets are wasps, not bees, and are always in a foul mood.
 
2010-03-20 04:57:02 PM
your firearms are useless against them!

i.imgur.com
 
2010-03-20 05:00:46 PM
Hau Ruck: Serious question: How do bee keepers have hundreds (or more) bees all over them and not get stung? Unlike these two joggers, I mean. Is this a seasonal / territorial / other thing?

They try not to piss them off. Also you can smoke 'em.
 
2010-03-20 05:01:21 PM
Beads?
 
2010-03-20 05:01:25 PM
Bee's eyes
Bee's eyes are cryin'
Bee's eyes have seen a lot of loves
But they're never gonna see another one like I had with you.
 
2010-03-20 05:01:56 PM
TO THE BEEMOBILE!

You mean your Chevy?

... Yes.
 
2010-03-20 05:05:27 PM
Hau Ruck: Serious question: How do bee keepers have hundreds (or more) bees all over them and not get stung? Unlike these two joggers, I mean. Is this a seasonal / territorial / other thing?

Beekeepers have a few tricks.

Smoke - They puff smoke in to the hives, which tricks the bees in to thinking there is a forest fire. The bees then gorge themselves with honey in preparation of fleeing and starting a new hive some where else. A full bee is a happy bee.

Gear - Beekeepers wear protective suits that prevent them from being stung.

Calmness - Beekeepers don't freak out and swat at bees or make sudden movements that make the bees defensive. Surprisingly, bees don't like it when you swat at them.

Breed - If those people were minding their own business and didn't happen too close to a hive or do something to make the bees defend themselves, then the bees were probably africanized. Africanized bees are much more aggressive. Beekeepers kill off the queen of a "hot" hive and replace it with one from a friendlier breed. Many states have laws requiring africanized bees to be destroyed.

/beekeeper
 
2010-03-20 05:05:36 PM
PeterBeck: Videogame reference in 3.. 2.. 1..

"In theory."
"In theory?"
"Experimental technology. Only test is contact with seeker swarms. Looking forwards to seeing if you survive."
 
2010-03-20 05:06:53 PM
www.sptimes.com

The Killer bees, and their 'stingers'

www.cinemademerde.com

More killer bees.
 
2010-03-20 05:07:57 PM
PacManDreaming:

/cool story bro?


Surprisingly, yes.
 
2010-03-20 05:09:36 PM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Unavailable for comment.

/Washed ashore in different times
//covered in bees
///screaming still; help me, please
 
2010-03-20 05:12:50 PM
NoSugarAdded:

/beekeeper

Do you like your women like you like your coffee?
 
2010-03-20 05:13:51 PM
glenlivid: That was a good story. Lacked a good climactic ending, though. I suggest, in the future, you tell everyone that someone locked the barn door from the outside...and while you were yelling that you were in the barn....the bees started to swarm...

Unfortunately, the ending was very anti-climactic. We defeated them through attrition.

There was one really funny moment(wasn't funny at the time, though) when a pissed off bee(I had been swinging at him) landed on my leg and got tangled up in my hair. I was dancing around like a rabid chimpanzee, trying to rake him off with my racket, but he wouldn't or couldn't get loose. Several more started circling around me and I finally threw my weapon in the air, yelled "I'm outta here!" and took off running. Of course, my friend was rolling around on some hay bales, laughing his ass off. He had tears rolling down his cheeks as he stumbled out of the barn after me.

Or maybe it was only funny due to our level of intoxication? I laugh about it now, though. This was back in '93 or '94, but it's one of those moments from then that really stands out.
 
2010-03-20 05:15:29 PM
img.photobucket.com

Wanted for questioning.
 
2010-03-20 05:16:12 PM
Well, Mr. President, it's the bees and spiders again. They stole my food stamps and sold 'em to the rats. I go down to the car for to honk the horn for help, but the snakes is guardin' it for the cock-a-roaches. I go back upstairs, but the spiders has jammed the police lock! I ain't been inside for a WEEK ... and I KNOW my wife is sleepin' with the BEES!

/exit left to funway
 
2010-03-20 05:19:18 PM
A witness tells KTVK-TV she heard screaming Thursday evening and saw the women lying in the street covered in bees from head to toe. A man jumped in to help and was also stung.

Hero or stupid? Either way, this guy deserves to get laid, once his winkie has returned to normal size.

/my vote is for hero
 
2010-03-20 05:22:20 PM
Hau Ruck: Serious question: How do bee keepers have hundreds (or more) bees all over them and not get stung? Unlike these two joggers, I mean. Is this a seasonal / territorial / other thing?

Different TYPE of bee, keepers normally use smoke to calm them, keepers aren't jumping around but moving slowly.
 
2010-03-20 05:23:05 PM
I had bees living in my attic so I searched for a way to get rid of them. Then I found this little gem and laughed my ass off.

Getting Rid of Bees

Bees are good for pollinating your garden. Although they can be bothersome, bees certainly don't sting as rapidly (only if bothered) as wasps. If you want to garden in peace, the best time is in the evening when the bees are at their most dormant state and return to the hive.


WikiAnswers contributors share tips on getting rid of bees:

* It truly is difficult to rid of these pests, but the best way I have found is to date the queen bee. The way you should approach her is by offering a glass of mountain dew, and put roofies in it. After she slowly sips on the drink, she will become very woozy, and will talk to you about many problems in her life. Slowly bring up the topic of vacation, and she will undoubtedly go bonkers then immediately pass out. Add 2 and a half columbian roast coffee beans to 1 ounce of ammonia. Pour into a spray bottle, and mist it gently onto her chest. She will soon arise, in a dazed commotion of awkward movements. Ask her about that vacation and she will grab her friends, and leave. Voila.

/cool story brah
 
2010-03-20 05:23:38 PM
"Officials warn people to stay away from bee swarms and avoid loud noises or wild movements that may disturb the bees"
This is just going to ruin my daily routine of chasing after bee swarms, and obnoxious behavior to try to piss off the bees. Who came up with that?
 
2010-03-20 05:24:50 PM
kidsizedcoffin: Nope, fire seems to have done the trick.

Beat me to it. Best bee thread ever.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2243176

OH THE BEEMANITY
 
2010-03-20 05:25:28 PM
Maybe if we got rid of the dogs...
 
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