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(LBC 97.3)   Necessity is truly the mother of invention. Especially if you're a trainer at SeaWorld and your job is to brush the teeth of a whale who just ate a trainer   (wtsp.com) divider line 41
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13152 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2010 at 8:40 AM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-20 08:42:50 AM
And the price? Oh my gosh!
 
2010-03-20 08:43:19 AM
Duh. They call this an "Invention"? A longer toothbrush? Really? Really!
 
2010-03-20 08:44:34 AM
The bad part of the job is flossing out the blonde pieces.
 
2010-03-20 08:45:08 AM
NOM NOM NOM!
 
2010-03-20 08:47:53 AM
What the hell is that on the left side of the page?

img683.imageshack.us
 
2010-03-20 08:48:39 AM
I would gladly pay a little extra to see one gnarl-up a person. Mostly if it had a brilliant smile.
 
2010-03-20 08:54:48 AM
Why not stop keeping intelligent mighty animals in tanks just for our amusement?
 
2010-03-20 08:56:39 AM
Subby fails. No mention in any article of the killer whale "eating" the trainer.
 
2010-03-20 08:57:16 AM
Oooh,a two-foot long brush. That will certainly keep you out of range of a determined killer whale. They are famous for being unable to move fast or get out of the water. Yup. You'll definitely be able to keep yourself out of danger, especially when brushing the back teeth. This two-foot extension is definitely an insurmountable obstacle for a killer whale.
 
2010-03-20 09:00:57 AM
Spuddy345: Why not stop keeping intelligent mighty animals in tanks just for our amusement?

This. Plus giving them access to this is just plain foolish:

t1.gstatic.com
 
2010-03-20 09:06:27 AM
Spuddy345: Why not stop keeping intelligent mighty animals in tanks just for our amusement?

While I don't disagree, the problem is that most, if not all, of those currently in tanks probably cannot be re-introduced to the wild, so releasing them would essentially be killing them.
 
2010-03-20 09:09:04 AM
How about "Hell No"?
 
2010-03-20 09:12:17 AM
"Excuse me, would you take care of this? I've got a bit of human stuck in my teeth."

www.answersingenesis.org

/sorry
 
2010-03-20 09:14:04 AM
How do they handle the flossing? Or did the trainer's long ponytail take care of that?
 
2010-03-20 09:17:22 AM
Three times a day? Is that how often they brush their teeth out in the wild?
 
2010-03-20 09:24:48 AM
This is why I love Fark. Nearly all of the comments on the article's page are about how animals shouldn't be confined and how "Tilly" should be "set free" in a "nature preserve." In the Fark thread, there are jokes about using a trainer's long ponytail as floss.
 
2010-03-20 09:33:10 AM
Has someone considered brushing the whale's teeth with this?

www.thefirearmblog.com
 
2010-03-20 09:34:08 AM
TheRameres: Subby fails. No mention in any article of the killer whale "eating" the trainer.

Well, that's because it didn't happen. It's the whale who fails, not subby.
 
2010-03-20 09:34:12 AM
wow, two WHOLE feet. That will surely keep the trainers well out of danger.
 
2010-03-20 09:40:33 AM
Yeah, so I'm going to need you to brush the killer whale's teeth. Yeah, that one. The one that killed what's-her-face last week. Mmmkay? Oh, safety? Uh, yeah. Here's a two-foot stick. So if you could just get that done, that'd be great. Thanks.
 
2010-03-20 09:56:39 AM
Let's suppose, just for a minute, that you are a large, powerful sea creature who can't hunt as you naturally would because you are trapped in a puddle for reasons you can't begin to comprehend. Sort of like working for wages. But you have discovered that you can avoid starvation by jumping into the air and eating whatever the creature on the cement beach holds out over your cage. It's your job. It's what you do. You can't see it very well, but it always turns out to be a fish, and the land creature seems to be harmless. One day you see the land creature again, as usual, with something sort-of tan sticking out toward you. You jump up and grab it. In your teeth. Because you don't have any hands. As usual, you dive deep and try to swallow it, but this time it seems to be attached to something heavy. You can't really see it because of where your eyes are in your head, but it surely does make it hard to swallow the fish. And the fish doesn't taste very much like a fish, either, and it's kind of furry and gets stuck in your teeth. You try for a while to swallow it, but finally give up, open your mouth, and let it go. It floats away. Ever since, things have been subtly different, but what the hell, the land creatures still hold out the fish, and you are still stuck in the little pond.
 
2010-03-20 10:00:35 AM
With complete absence of what a two-foot toothbrush might look like.

Just an orca eyeing its next meal through the glass.
 
2010-03-20 10:05:19 AM
This whale kills people; it doesn't eat them.

Honestly, I don't know why people always assume they're so delicious. Just because someone wants to hurt you doesn't mean it's because they like you.
 
2010-03-20 10:24:58 AM
I think the thing that creeps me out the most about orcas is the fact that you can never see their eyes unless you get really close. So, in my mind, they end up being BLIND killing machines, and that just makes them that much scarier.
 
2010-03-20 10:30:23 AM
Spuddy345: Why not stop keeping intelligent mighty animals in tanks just for our amusement?

Uh duh...because they're pretty. Ooh shiny...
 
2010-03-20 10:31:32 AM
EighthundredmillionthFarker: Has someone considered brushing the whale's teeth with this?

You really shouldnt shoot an orca with anything smaller than a 4 gauge.

This is more suitable:
www.instablogsimages.com
 
2010-03-20 10:32:25 AM
mamoru: Spuddy345: Why not stop keeping intelligent mighty animals in tanks just for our amusement?

While I don't disagree, the problem is that most, if not all, of those currently in tanks probably cannot be re-introduced to the wild, so releasing them would essentially be killing them.


I'd be inclined, but for orcas and certain other mammals, the pod is a lifelong committment. Therefore, while we have no problem keeping them penned up to perform tricks, we damn sure don't want to exhaust the effort to match them back to their family.

/Kinda like what we do for foster children
//Our systems suck...
 
2010-03-20 10:35:35 AM
Alleyoop: "Excuse me, would you take care of this? I've got a bit of human stuck in my teeth."



/sorry


No problem =)

img694.imageshack.us

/also sorry
 
2010-03-20 10:45:44 AM
A whale penis is called a "dork" but an orca penis is called a "fiddle" (because it is really a dolphin, not a whale).
 
2010-03-20 10:45:45 AM
Bodine Wilson: EighthundredmillionthFarker: Has someone considered brushing the whale's teeth with this?

You really shouldnt shoot an orca with anything smaller than a 4 gauge.

This is more suitable:


I'd hate to be in the front row at Sea World when they used that thing. Holy Crap!

/killer thread, btw
 
2010-03-20 10:56:16 AM
Thosw: I think the thing that creeps me out the most about orcas is the fact that you can never see their eyes unless you get really close. So, in my mind, they end up being BLIND killing machines, and that just makes them that much scarier.

They do kinda remind me of the "xenomorph" aliens. At least they don't have a freaky second set of jaws like the aliens do. Or moray eels.
 
2010-03-20 11:22:26 AM
The orcas are just pissed at always being referred to as "shamu". They prefer "attractive and successful".
 
2010-03-20 11:31:21 AM
ChrisDe: Three times a day? Is that how often they brush their teeth out in the wild?

This.

And: Trainers will now have a 2-foot extension to brush Tilikum's teeth three times a day.

The toothbrush isn't 2 feet long. It's 2 feet longer.
 
2010-03-20 11:41:35 AM
Control_this: The bad part of the job is flossing out the blonde pieces.

You are EVIL. And you're now on my favorites list.
 
2010-03-20 12:07:33 PM
subby is a f*cktard. the whale didn't eat anybody.

/DIAF
 
2010-03-20 12:18:08 PM
8.5 tailed fox: A whale penis is called a "dork" but an orca penis is called a "fiddle" (because it is really a dolphin, not a whale).

Master of trivia, and there is some trivia I can do without, thanks.
 
2010-03-20 12:42:12 PM
Nightmaretony: 8.5 tailed fox: A whale penis is called a "dork" but an orca penis is called a "fiddle" (because it is really a dolphin, not a whale).

Master of trivia, and there is some trivia I can do without, thanks.


As a Gay, Dorky, Violinist... i find this most disturbing.
 
2010-03-20 02:06:10 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2010-03-20 10:15:47 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2010-03-20 11:29:55 PM
FTA, they were arguing about releasing footage. I know I saw some shakey-cam video that purported to be the killing, a bunch of places. anyone know anything about that? can i like videos like that here?
 
2010-03-20 11:30:52 PM
*link
 
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