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(Journal-Advocate)   Over-sexed deer causing traffic problems   (journal-advocate.com) divider line 44
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6003 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2003 at 7:19 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2003-04-28 02:06:19 PM
Yes, dear [snicker] friends, Bambi is all cute as hell until he gets whacked by your bimmer, slides across the hood and lands an antler in your throat.

The solution: Introduce more of the deer's natural enemy: Human hunters. Kill it and Grill it.

Praise the 'Nuge!
 
2003-04-28 04:29:53 PM
Also, take the Antler Hood Ornament off your car and amorous deer won't try to mate with your car. Those wacky Road Rules kids, up to no good again.
 
2003-04-28 06:50:32 PM
I thought mating season was more towards august and september. Learn something new every day on Fark.
 
2003-04-28 07:21:03 PM
hahaha, dear
 
2003-04-28 07:23:23 PM
i'm not too fawn of deers.
 
2003-04-28 07:23:36 PM
...boring...
 
2003-04-28 07:24:20 PM
Well maybe they should just make having sex with deers legal.
 
2003-04-28 07:27:22 PM
D'oh!

errr, I mean Doe

/got nuthin'
 
2003-04-28 07:27:36 PM
Exhibitionists. Serves 'em right.
 
2003-04-28 07:29:03 PM
Anti_Freak_Machine

yeah. I am a student at Magdalen College, Oxford. We have a deer park, but we are not even allowed to feed the deer....
 
2003-04-28 07:30:23 PM
Doe me on the hood of the car, baby, yeah!$#
 
2003-04-28 07:31:48 PM
Why do they call it being "oversexed" when you are in need of sex? Wouldn't that be "undersexed?" It's kind of like how we drive on parkways and park on driveways.
 
2003-04-28 07:32:08 PM
I love it when deer try to hump cars.
It's a brand new way of getting coolant into your vehicle.
 
2003-04-28 07:32:44 PM
Thedamndog-

But can you hump them?
 
2003-04-28 07:33:21 PM
i dont care for deer, now vennison is good stuff

has anyuone else noticed the font changing on fark or is it just my computer?
 
2003-04-28 07:35:36 PM
FINALLY!! after all these submissions, I finally get an article posted to fark. Who would've thought it would have come from a small town newspaper near my hometown!?!
 
2003-04-28 07:36:11 PM
Sounds like the meat's doing everything but lighting
the barbecue for ya...they're just trying to throw themselves in your grocery bag for you. I miss the deer
antics of the northwest- awakened by twenty (i counted)
sets of hooves walking down the street. and my neighbor
in oregon calling me and telling me to watch out my back door while he shot his buck for the season right off his
porch, just outside of my backyard...(tasty!).

or my gf who worked in a garden center getting the question
"what won't the deer eat?" .... she started answering
"pitchforks" "shovels" "Rototillers"... there's nothing
they won't eat, or rip up while tasting it...

couple buddies of mine used to go hunting for them in
the pickup with a huge tubular steel bumper- deer in
the road? Step on it! then take it out in the woods
and clean it. some of the meat was messed up, but mostly
just good eatin'!

Tadpole: Hehe- we went for a weekend at the races a few weeks back in the MTV "Road Rules" RV- fake books, lava lamp, and yes, the cow skull on the front of it... good
times!
 
2003-04-28 07:37:39 PM
"Best to hold coarse."

What, like 40 grit? Seriously...it's course. Amateur journalism at its finest!
 
2003-04-28 07:45:25 PM
I caused a 20 car pileup this morn...mmm...Boobies...
 
2003-04-28 07:46:51 PM
The worse time for deer accidents...

English, Mother-fukker! Do you speak it!?


What TwitGibbler said.
 
2003-04-28 07:48:04 PM
Are they sure it wasn't a feathered gazelle?
 
2003-04-28 07:48:40 PM
TwitGibbler

Thank you...wasn't sure if anyone else would grab that.

Skiinstructor
couple buddies of mine used to go hunting for them in
the pickup with a huge tubular steel bumper- deer in
the road? Step on it!


Well, I guess there's no seasonal limit to how many you can bag using that method...
 
2003-04-28 07:50:03 PM
Early in the mooring?? Wow, fark is turning me into a spelling/grammar nazi...
 
2003-04-28 07:51:29 PM
Anti_Freak_Machine

No. well not officially. You have to sneak over the fence in the middle of the night and hope you don't get caught.

The big problem is that we have two buildings that back onto the deer park-meaning that it is very likely that someone will see you....
 
2003-04-28 07:52:06 PM
however it does mean that I get to use deer puns a lot...
 
2003-04-28 07:52:27 PM
Kre8iv_gal

Are they sure it wasn't a feathered gazelle?

Avian gazelles laugh at mere automobiles.
 
2003-04-28 07:52:29 PM
Retard: Yes, I hate the font change.
 
2003-04-28 07:55:04 PM
"...if you see a deer coming in time, slow the car down..."

*snort*
 
2003-04-28 07:56:56 PM
Oh! Deer!
 
2003-04-28 08:01:39 PM
yeah i feel like i need to sit across the room from my computer to read fark anymore
 
2003-04-28 08:14:30 PM
'coming in time'

Now that is a party piece...
 
2003-04-28 08:18:25 PM
Doesn't anyone know it's the squirrels that are the sluts, not the deers? Just believe me.
 
2003-04-28 08:18:41 PM
Retard: Exactly.
 
2003-04-28 08:49:49 PM
sluts, squirrels, deers, dder nuts, beer nuts?
 
2003-04-28 09:20:26 PM
Beer nuts?

Don't have anything to do with this, no way you'll find them under a buck.
 
2003-04-28 09:53:07 PM
If you're going ot have sex with a deer, you have to bend it over a log first, otherwise it'll kick you when you try to enter it from behind.

 
2003-04-28 10:46:56 PM
 
2003-04-28 10:55:20 PM
Sgt. Michael Moore
Is WRONG! It is NOT mating season for deer. Deer are just coming out of winter, and have dropped there horns, and are giving birth.

Deer will not go into rut, or estrus, until October/November, depending on the region, species of deer and the climate.

Whoever this Asshat is, doesn't know jack squat about Deer.
 
2003-04-28 11:07:16 PM
You know.. i keep telling my girlfriend that if she lets this happen, i'll be a danger to traffic.. she still won't listen
 
2003-04-28 11:11:11 PM
"Dont try to swerve...Dont panic, rather hit the deer

Yeah, right. You know what hitting a full-grown doe when you're doing 65 down the highway does to your car? I found out first hand about a year ago. I'm lucky to be alive to tell you--it ain't pretty. Was a miracle I survived with only a few scratches. Had Bambi's Mom gone through the windshield, I'd have ended up as dead is she.
 
2003-04-28 11:31:13 PM
Nostrafarkus, if you'll surf around a little from the link, you'll find the follow-up article where, although she doesn't actually admit to having been full of crap about deer rutting season, she rather huffily explains that her real reason for writing the article was just to remind people about being careful while driving their cars in general, gee, they could get in accidents, and be hurt even! Just forget that part about the deer that was off by about 5 months... Clearly she's been corrected but is too vain to actually issue a correction.
 
2003-04-29 12:35:21 AM
Why won't Americans wear seat belts? It is beyond me.
 
2003-04-29 11:48:58 AM
I need to move there, probably most landowners wont let you hunt on their land though, "We just love to watch the deer feed, they are so cute" Meanwhile they eat your farm down to the nub, neighbors too. Deer populations are getting out of hand nationwide, except where public hunting land is, hunting pressure keeps them thinned to reasonable levels. Enough ranting about better hunting days....carry on folks.
 
fur
2003-04-29 12:19:28 PM
Why won't Americans wear seat belts? It is beyond me.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I'm sure people will tell us how certain states require it by law, but it seems that if this woman even needs to mention it, then there are plenty that don't.

The mad thing is, why make car manufacturers install seatbelts by law and then fail to enforce their use? Lunacy.
 
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