I call my schlong "the Rockford Files".
And together we solve a new mystery every night

/my balls are named "Kolchak" and "The Night Stalker"

"lightening in a bottle"?

QFT. That article is, in fact, the truth.

James Rockford, no. Richie Brockelman, maybe.

I can't believe I clicked on a Breitfart link and agreed 100%. The Rockford Files is my favorite show, ever and that guy hit it right on the money.

Great show and my all time favorite theme song. Mike Post is a genius. I have it on a 45.

The only person alive that would make a halfway decent "Rockford" would be Bruce Campbell, and he essentially plays "Jim Rockford" on Burn Notice via his "Chuck Finley" character. The biggest problem with a 2010 "Rockford" is that everything is computerized now; everything is virtual. Rockford would have to be a computer hacker to get away with 1/10th of the stunts he pulled back in the 70's. Besides, NOBODY is ever going to top the writing and cast of the original.

Fun Fact. James Garner had to give up Rockford because of the damage to his knees from doing all his own stunts. He had knee surgery after EVERY season and simply couldn't take it anymore.

Well this is a first! I've never agreed with a Breitbart link before!

I've been watching the Rockford Files on Netflix while I work (the fact that streaming it probably sparked this piece), and it's excellent. It really is one of those shows -like Hawaii Five-O- that holds up all these years later.

Personally I hope they never remake it, unless they cast Mel Gibson, who managed to hit the right combo of cheap sleazy and moral in the Maverick movie.

/it should be pointed out that like the Shat's TJ Hooker, the hairpiece does much of the heavy lifting when it comes to the acting in some episodes

Well of COURSE Rockfish didn't carry a gun. It was busy keeping his cookies nice and fresh.

I grew up watching The Rockford Files in reruns and no, they will never be able to capture that light(e)ning in a bottle again.

There is only one Jim Rockford and that's James Garner, I love his movies too, though they have been too few and far between

I loved Jim Rockford's wisearse comments about everything, helped me to sharpen my own wisearse ability, thanks Rockford!

If they're going to remake a Jim Garner series, which is absurd, then I suggest Nichols. Cancelled way too soon, had all the promise of Rockford, and just might be workable with someone other than Garner in the lead.

Nazi bar.

While James Garner will always be one of my favorites, you also need to add into the mix of what make Garner and Rockford great both Roy Huggins and Steve Cannell.

But especially Roy Huggins.

The Rockford Files has been one of my favorite TV shows for a long time. As was pointed out in the article, much of the show was Rockford standing up to corruption in government and the police and rooting it out. How is that going to work in this 2010 american police state war on terror ? Sure we need to see TV again that points how power corrupts, but is that going to fly today?

I by-passed a police checkpoint on my way home tonight and now I wonder how would Rockfish handle these things? Well, I guess if he could he'd go around them like I did... except he'd probably get chased instead of ignored.

Even if Rockford could be brought into the present day I just don't think network TV writers have it in them or at least their bosses won't let it out.

I wonder what his 21st century business card printer would look like :)

leadmetal: I wonder what his 21st century business card printer would look like :)

I find most modern tv shows that involve some sort of grifter or con artist, and that includes James Sawyer to be laughable and sad because Maverick and Rockford did it so well.

Hollywood has GOT to stop this crap of taking a recognizable character (usually one with strong name recognition with baby-boomers) and then re-imagining it for a TV series or movie that has little or no resemblance or connection to the original character ("Smallville" is the longest-running offender of this type).

It's time for Hollywood to grow some balls and take a chance on a new character or two. Contemporary scriptwriters need a break and can't create characters that were on TV before they were born.

Excellent article, BTW.

One thing I like about some of the better TV crime dramas is that they are more character and story driven without all the effects and quick cuts. I am not sure that says very much.

kyle chandler would make a good rockford. thats about it.

That guy takes being a purist to 11

/did RTFA

I read that as Nick Nolte and thought, that would be pretty interesting casting.

I remember seeing some of these a few years back and thinking they had some pretty bold elements for their time. One where a mob boss's son was gay and he ends up ordering a hit on him. One where Jim went on a picnic with a friends kind of mousy sister and they got jumped by a biker gang who beat Jim up and drug her off as Dennis Burkley says "Come on, mama. You're gonna pull a train." And she did. And then Jim and her brother had to get vengeance. Not your standard TV fair for the 70s.

Course the REAL question for the remake is who plays Angel. Or Lance White.

Doesn't matter. This WILL suck.

I worked with James Garner's nephew (Terry Bumgarner) several years ago. He said that when they were growing up "Uncle Jim" would come to visit and had a car that was the exact same one in the series. Evidently he did quite a bit of the stunt driving on the show... and according to Terry drove the same way in real life.

This is Jim Rockford. Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you.


"It's Norma at the market. It bounced. You want us to tear it up, send it back, or put it with the others?"

"It's Laurie at the trailer park. A space opened up. Do you want me to save it or are the cops going to let you stay where you are?"

"It's Aundra. Remember last summer at Pat's? I've got a twelve hour layover before I go to Chicago. How about it?"

"This is the blood bank. If you don't have malaria, hepatitis, or TB, we'd like to have a pint of your blood."

"Mr. Rockford? You don't know me, but I'd like to hire you. Could you call me at...my name is, uh, never mind. Forget it."

"This is Mrs. Mosely at the library. We billed you for your overdue book "Karate Made Easy." We abuse our libary, we don't get our cards renewed."

"Mr. Rockford? This is the Thomas Crown School of Dance and Contemporary Etiquette. We aren't going to call again. Now, you want these free lessons, or what?"

"Jimmy, it's Angel. Don't pay no attention to my other message. You're out of it. You're clean, no trouble at all. Just ignore the first message."

"Hi, Jim. Thanks for the dinner invitation. I'd love to, but does it have to be the taco stand?"

"Jim, it's Jack. I'm at the airport. I'm going to Tokyo and I want to pay you the $500 I owe you. Catch you next year when I get back."

"This is the message phone company. I see you're using our unit, now how about paying for it?"

Cue Theme.

PLEASE don't mess with this show, ok Hollywood?

Anybody else remember the 'Rockford Files' theme sung by frogs? I can't find it anywhere.

Dear Hollywood:

Don't touch Rockford Files or MASH.

The English Major: castufari: Dear Hollywood:

Don't touch Rockford Files or MASH.

They did retouch M*A*S*H. First, it was a novel. Then a movie. Then a TV series. And then you had After M*A*S*H. The one with Jamie Farr.

And this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W*A*L*T*E*R

thefatbasturd: Well of COURSE Rockfish didn't carry a gun. It was busy keeping his cookies nice and fresh.

I thought he kept it in the coffee can so it wouldn't rust?

I agree with the article 100%, and that freaks me out a bit.

If you ever want to be depressed, re-watch some Rockford Files.

They absolutely suck. Badly. Horribly.

It turns out that what we remember fondly are a couple of lines of dialog and James Garner looking cool. What we don't remember -- due to blunt force trauma -- are the tons of filler and the plots getting "solved" by 90 seconds of explication at the end of the "stories".

Best show ever.

Quantum Apostrophe: "lightening in a bottle"?

http://images.google.com/images?q=michael+jackson

yakmans_dad: If you ever want to be depressed, re-watch some Rockford Files.

They've been in my netflix queue for a while, I've watched a year or so of them. Granted they're not great or especially flashy but they still are entertaining. Compared to the stuff that comes out now they're no 24 but it's good classic TV.

I think James Garner has always been one of the smoothest guys on TV.