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(Some Supervillain) Misc Supervillain Smackdown: Mystique vs Catwoman   (thecorrectness.com) divider line 156
More: Misc, Catwoman, mystique, Back to the Future, Silver Surfer, fanboy, brackets, Green Goblin, kittens  
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9974 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Mar 2010 at 3:27 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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Hebalo [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 02:25:34 PM
The winner is: The makers of Kleenex.
 
Iowan73
2010-03-19 03:28:43 PM
The loser is: kittens everywhere
 
KatjaMouse
2010-03-19 03:28:53 PM
Hebalo: The winner is: The makers of Kleenex.

Well played, nerd. Well played.
 
IKanHazaBukkit
2010-03-19 03:29:07 PM
No competition: Mystique wins handily.
 
sonofslacker
2010-03-19 03:30:06 PM
Mewow!
 
netweavr
2010-03-19 03:30:50 PM
Does the DC universe completely lack credible female villains.
 
silentneep
2010-03-19 03:31:14 PM
Mystique morphs into Batman. Sexytimes happen, followed by confusion and shame from both parties.
 
factoryconnection
2010-03-19 03:31:34 PM
Is it bad that I didn't know that Catwoman was a villain? They made a movie focusing on the protagonist being a baddie?

Nice.
 
eagles95
2010-03-19 03:31:54 PM
the winner is wonder woman watching me
 
This
2010-03-19 03:33:01 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com

Seriously, the last spree of them flooded the Fark geek page and had moronic matchups that were basically "Doc Manhattan vs. a puppy".
 
Taku
2010-03-19 03:33:44 PM
Halle Berry v Rebecca Romijn?

Everyone wins
 
Oldiron_79
2010-03-19 03:33:50 PM
ceiling catwoman is watching you masturbate
 
This
2010-03-19 03:34:18 PM
factoryconnection: Is it bad that I didn't know that Catwoman was a villain? They made a movie focusing on the protagonist being a baddie?

Nice.

She's not a hero or a villain. She's walking, talking fan-service.
 
TheSignPost [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:34:20 PM
That depends on how well they do at making me a sandwich.
 
Jarlaxle78
2010-03-19 03:35:38 PM
Taku: Halle Berry v Rebecca Romijn?

Fap +1
 
CygnusDarius
2010-03-19 03:35:46 PM
Difficulty: KY jelly-filled bath-tub.

Handicap: Mystique cannot turn into any male hero/villain

/chauvinist pig comments off
 
pippi longstocking
2010-03-19 03:36:30 PM
Who cares who wins, just show us the fight in HD with multiple angles.
 
Oldiron_79
2010-03-19 03:36:41 PM
Taku: Halle Berry v Rebecca Romijn?

Everyone wins

I'll be in my bunk
 
CaesarSneezy
2010-03-19 03:36:52 PM
How many senators has Catwoman killed?
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:37:21 PM
farm4.static.flickr.com

Catwoman makes meh pants fit funnay.
 
PanicAttack [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:37:29 PM
netweavr: Does the DC universe completely lack credible female villains.

I think she was only in Batman: TAS, but I always thought Red Claw was pretty kick-ass.
 
optimus_grime
2010-03-19 03:37:42 PM
i could not make it past that retarded first paragraph.

justifying your over use of the gay pejorative is so 2008.
 
Hibikitour
2010-03-19 03:37:44 PM
Subby should always just paste the farking article in the Weeners. It isn't like these things stay up for more than one or two bloody comments before we nuke their server.
 
Ringtailed79
2010-03-19 03:38:10 PM
This: Seriously, the last spree of them flooded the Fark geek page and had moronic matchups that were basically "Doc Manhattan vs. a puppy".

Welcome to fark, where people talk about things you might not like!

Feel free to go fark yourself
 
alternative girlfriend
2010-03-19 03:38:12 PM
I like Mystiques boobs better. Catwoman looks like she had the Pam Anderson Special from the local plastic surgeon.
 
Ishkur [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:38:20 PM
This is dumb. They didn't even discuss powers or anything. They just rambled on about nothing.

Are they trying to be Seanbaby?
 
This
2010-03-19 03:39:35 PM
Ringtailed79: Welcome to fark, where people talk about things you might not like!

Oh, you misunderstand. I farking love comic-books, and everybody has a good time with the "who would win" arguments (unless batman's involved, his plot-armor is too thick).

No, my problem is just that these ones suck, and somehow consistently get pushed through the queue anyways.
 
CaesarSneezy
2010-03-19 03:41:15 PM
CaesarSneezy: How many senators has Catwoman killed?

Oh wait, nm. I forgot she didn't kill Kelly.
 
Doogles4221
2010-03-19 03:42:33 PM
I go with Catwoman. She seems to be a more capable fighter and can use a whip. Mystique seems more trickery and deceipt, a tactic that does little in an arena match. No matter who Mystique turns into, it is only going to be her and catwoman in the arena. Whip wins.
 
PanicAttack [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:42:40 PM
This: Ringtailed79: Welcome to fark, where people talk about things you might not like!

Oh, you misunderstand. I farking love comic-books, and everybody has a good time with the "who would win" arguments (unless batman's involved, his plot-armor is too thick).

No, my problem is just that these ones suck, and somehow consistently get pushed through the queue anyways.

I thought that was one of the main reasons for Fark. Most of the articles on here are ridiculous, which leaves room for hillarity to ensue in the comments.

Or am I doing it wrong?
 
BeerBear
2010-03-19 03:43:27 PM
This: Seriously, the last spree of them flooded the Fark geek page and had moronic matchups that were basically "Doc Manhattan vs. a puppy".

Puppy wins :D

and win for Mystique
 
Cozret
2010-03-19 03:44:02 PM
I see how it's going to go. DC heroes kicked the crap out of the Marvel heroes, so it's time to let Marvel win the villains contest so it can all be balanced. Servicing fanboys must be like being trapped in hell.
 
non compos mentat
2010-03-19 03:44:16 PM
silentneep: Mystique morphs into Batman. Sexytimes happen, followed by confusion and shame from both all parties.

FTFY
 
Englebert Slaptyback [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:45:23 PM

Hibikitour

Subby should always just paste the farking article in the Weeners.


Ouchie.
 
hockeyfarker
2010-03-19 03:45:41 PM
I never even saw the movie, and all I can think about right now is Halle Berry in a catsuit.
 
clovis69
2010-03-19 03:46:00 PM
Taku: Halle Berry v Rebecca Romijn?

Everyone wins

Michelle Pfeiffer is my Catwoman.
 
Hibikitour
2010-03-19 03:46:28 PM
weeners? What the heck...I said 1st comment.
 
Quasar [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:47:32 PM
Wait, Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry? This is important.
 
ConConHead
2010-03-19 03:48:33 PM
Would someone kindly post the article? I can't view that site from here. :(
 
Pollexabator
2010-03-19 03:48:51 PM
Ishkur: This is dumb. They didn't even discuss powers or anything. They just rambled on about nothing.

It's almost as though the point is not actually fantasizing about the victor of a physical battle but more focused on the potential for said battle to devolve into some sort of sexual encounter...

/Batman and Robin fan fic is probably more your speed :P
 
Isuldirs
2010-03-19 03:48:53 PM
IKanHazaBukkit: No competition: Mystique wins handily.
 
Miggity
2010-03-19 03:48:59 PM
NO PICTURES? You nerds are off your game today. STEP IT UP
 
Gosling
2010-03-19 03:50:32 PM
Cozret: I see how it's going to go. DC heroes kicked the crap out of the Marvel heroes, so it's time to let Marvel win the villains contest so it can all be balanced. Servicing fanboys must be like being trapped in hell.

DC has a better hero roster. Marvel has a better villain roster. Run down the list and see who would kick the ass of who. DC and Marvel don't match up well at all unless you play things straight-up hero vs. villain.
 
Crude
2010-03-19 03:51:01 PM
Cartoon boobs excite you kids, huh?

*smh*
 
PanicAttack [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:51:13 PM
clovis69: Taku: Halle Berry v Rebecca Romijn?

Everyone wins

Michelle Pfeiffer is my Catwoman.

I always thought Julie Newmar was gorgeous.
thirdcoastdigest.com
 
BreezyWheeze
2010-03-19 03:52:33 PM
Can someone copypasta the article? I'm getting the dumbass white-background-blue-bar nonsense. If I felt like staring at some color field art i'd either cough up 20 bucks at MoMA or just, you know, stare at my wall.
 
schattenteufel [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 03:54:12 PM
Cozret: I see how it's going to go. DC heroes kicked the crap out of the Marvel heroes, so it's time to let Marvel win the villains contest so it can all be balanced. Servicing fanboys must be like being trapped in hell.


Marvel always did have better villains than DC. Well, most of Marvel's heroes are cooler too, but not as all-powerful.
 
wbgraphic
2010-03-19 03:55:00 PM
THIS WEEK: Mystique vs Catwoman. The ladies duke it out to see who survives. For our purposes, Catwoman is her normal self from DC continuity, and Mystique is herself from standard Marvel continuity.



Rob:
Last smackdown, there was some concern about my homophobic disregard for the efficacy of particular mode of transportation. I would like to first apologize. I referred to the Green Goblin's hovering jet scooter as a "Gay Rocket Skateboard." This was unfair, and I am sorry. What I did was substitute the concept of homosexuality, rife with easy jokes, for the true intent of my dialectic, which was to suggest that anyone who rides a "Gay Rocket Skateboard" in not, in fact, necessarily, or even at all, gay (though it is possible statistically). Rather, I intended to convey that the act of flying around on such a device is less derisively "gay" and more utterly and impossibly emasculating in every conceivable way, and that gay and straight men alike feel a penis shrivelling, ball shattering, dick limpening, sack tightening horror at the idea of such a ridiculous contraption having any capacity for status-enhancing terror. On the top ten list of "Things Which Do Not Strike Fear into the Hearts of Men, and Women, and Kittens", number one with a bullet is "Floaty rollerskates", followed by "cloudmobiles", and "cuddleplanes".
Not only that, but men all over the world of any type of persuasion, queer, strait, transgendered, understand on an implicit and genetically pre-programmed level that a rocket sled of any kind is not going to get you laid, by man, woman, hermaphrodite, or compliant donkey. Your fantasy of having a hover board from Back To The Future dies when you realized driving in a multi seat motor vehicle, one often including a radio, is a far more effective method of attracting the ass of your particular orientation. Finding rocket skateboards a stupid thing for super villains to own and operate is not a choice. We are all born with an opinion on aerial sleds of all kinds, and on this matter we stand united: Nobody is scared of the dude on the NASA surfboard- in fact, this is why we think the Silver Surfer is so, not gay, or retarded, but rather cockpunchular, or if you prefer, douchetacular.
As for the matter of the fight between Mystique and Catwoman, I will not tarry long in a ridiculous straight-male fantasy that they will discover themselves suddenly very bisexual, extremely exhibitionist, and too aroused to fight. I will not describe, in any juvenile level of detail, the reflection of soft blue skin on milky white, in the low, low light of a steamy stadium. I will not elaborate on the possibility of Mystique taking the form of any beautiful woman, least of all Erin Cardillo, who, I will not go on to explain, plays the schoolteacher on the appalling "Suite Life of Zack and Cody: On Deck" and who is much, MUCH, too funny and beautiful for that show, as well as much too compelling of a performer to be in swiffer ads. I will not imagine Mystique and Catwoman drinking wine, agreeing to dress up, in no particular order, as a maid and a Catholic sorority girl, and I will not suggest the sound of two of the most extraordinary orgasms ever witnessed by humankind would render the sense of hearing forever purposeless, and make the music of the Beatles seem like the music of Yoko Ono's diarrhea.
Mystique takes this one, despite the compelling and conflicted character of Catwoman, and despite the fact that Catwoman has sometimes outsmarted Batman. You nerds can talk all about how powerful Mystique is, or how wily Catwoman is. I'm pretty sure this catfight is over before it is done. Unless the make out thing happens.
Winner: Mystique
Runner Up: Michelle Pfeiffer's awesome Catwoman
Honourable Mention: Erin Cardillo
Dave:
Some weeks we get many comments pointing out how wrong we are, and providing alternate arguments on why person X should beat person Y. We love this. This week, i'm thinking we're going to see a near unanimous comment section. Why? Because this fight is so incredibly one sided, I'm questioning why we ever thought it would be a good idea. Well, there is the fanboy lesbian thing. Yes, I remember why now.
The fact is, I can't think of a single clever way that a former prostitute turned jewel-thief with some acrobatic skills and no powers beats a 100 year old shapeshifter who has a limited healing factor (What, a Marvel character with a healing factor?????), is pretty much immune to poisons, and extremely agile.
Mystique's main weapon is usually deception, and the ability to surprise and throw opponents off-guard due to looking like someone else. She might be able to end the fight in the first few seconds by pretending to be a guard taking Catwoman to the arena, then drop her like a rock. But assuming they both get to the ring without event, this one takes the guise of a standard slug-fest, albeit one with bikinis and oil. Wait, what? Well, I like it better that way, sue me.
It goes like this: Catwoman does some fancy flips, jumps on Mystique's back. Mystique uses any one of 100 combat techniques she's picked over the last 6 decades, and slams Catwoman to the ground. Catwoman jumps up, attacks, is beaten back. Rinse, Repeat. At some point, Mystique gets tired of the game, and advances, breaking Catwoman's leg. As Catwoman staggers around, Mystique systematically breaks the remaining limbs, and eventually, snaps Catwoman's neck.
Game, Set, Match.
Winner: Mystique
Tony
It's been 3 hours and the crowd is getting restless.
Catwoman showed up on time, and has been pacing restlessly back and forth waiting for her opponent to show.
The audience knows Mystique could be anywhere. She could be sitting right beside them. For all they know, they could be sitting on her.
They start chanting "Start the fight, start the fight". Catwoman shrugs, and does a few whip tricks to try and keep the crowd interested.
There is a fairly large number of sweaty men with their hands buried in their trench coats right up front who look particularly eager for this to start.
1 hour later, still no sign of Mystique. The announcement comes over the P.A.
"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, by forfeit...."
"WAAAAITT!" screams Catwoman.. She motions to someone off to the side...he brings her a microphone.
As she takes the mic, her skin tight cat suit turns blue, she shakes her thick red hair free and laughs diabolically.
"Curiosity didn't kill shiat." She says contemptuously..." I killed the cat. Last night. (She changes into Batman) For some weird reason she didn't expect me to have a gun on me. (She changes back to Mystique) I'd ask for my money back if I were you."
She gives the booing crowd the finger as she strolls out of the arena.
Okay, so that's how I think it would go, but some of you might feel a little like the poor saps in the arena audience. You came to see a show and you didn't get one. Well, let me just add a post script and say that if Mystique had decided to "Play fair" she'd still be the winner. In combat, I'd say they were pretty evenly matched. Catwoman can go toe to toe with Batman, but she has the advantage of her "Feminine wiles", the Bat is basically wrapped around her paw and she knows it. No such luck with Mystique, who I would imagine would employ a strike and hide strategy, luring Catwoman into the audience and then...
shape change...wait...punch,
shape... change.... wait ...kick.
If Catwoman decides "fark this" and heads back to the open arena, I wouldn't put it past Mystique to pick her off from there. She does use guns, and certainly has no compunction about killing people.
Winner: Mystique.
I'll be in my bunk.
And so Mystique moves on to the Quarter-Finals. Tune in next week to see Magneto vs Sinestro. Magnets, or things made out of yellow? Sounds like science class!
 
some_beer_drinker
2010-03-19 03:55:01 PM
dont you morans ever learn? no matter what, batman wins.

i guess mystique could turn into batman...thats confusing.
 
hitlersbrain
2010-03-19 03:56:09 PM
Why don't they just do Galactus vs Darksied and save a bunch of time?
 
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