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(Hold Me Like You Did on Naboo) Fail Natalie Portman's career has finally hit rock bottom: she's starring in a romantic comedy alongside Ashton Kutcher   (digitalspy.com) divider line 74
More: Fail, Ashton Kutcher, Natalie Portman, romantic comedy, Ivan Reitman, sexual relationship, Ghostbusters, comedy  
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4095 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Mar 2010 at 7:55 AM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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Kurmudgeon
2010-03-19 12:20:23 AM
I figure dealing with Ashton is much like this, so she can handle it...
www.celebnewswire.com
 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 12:34:32 AM
She should star in a movie with me. Oh, hell, skip the movie and come to my house, Natalie.
 
Alphax
2010-03-19 07:59:17 AM
Bucky Katt: She should star in a movie with me. Oh, hell, skip the movie and come to my house, Natalie.

Damn, you beat me to it..

My offer stands as well.
 
The Dreaded Rear Admiral
2010-03-19 07:59:19 AM
Apparently the screenplay is rather funny. Plus it used to be called "Farkbuddies".

/+1 for the Lake on Naboo reference, Subby.
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:02:54 AM
"Friends with Benefits". That term is so smarmy and creepy. Especially with Ashton Kutcher involved. But Anakin was pretty smarmy and creepy in Attack of the Clones so I guess Natalie is used to it.
 
Brown Sauce
2010-03-19 08:15:53 AM
I'll always give him a pass because of That 70's Show

/it reminds me of happier days
 
LewDux
2010-03-19 08:17:57 AM
Rock bottom? Was it rock bottom for De Niro when he starred in "Pearl Harbor"?
 
The English Major [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:17:58 AM
The Dreaded Rear Admiral: Apparently the screenplay is rather funny. Plus it used to be called "Farkbuddies".

/+1 for the Lake on Naboo reference, Subby.

That line is seared in my consciousness for all eternity. I will find a way to work it into my wedding vows.
 
Sybarite [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:23:28 AM
I'm willing to give her a pass for this one since she's starring in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
 
kingflower
2010-03-19 08:25:08 AM
paycheck movie!

i luv u portman....call me.
 
Pro Zack
2010-03-19 08:34:20 AM
Full frontal?
 
AgytianCrave
2010-03-19 08:36:27 AM
the version of the screenplay i read was really good. one of the few times i actually laughed out loud while reading a screenplay... and i did a few times.

The problem isn't with natalie portman... the problem is how did ashton kutcher get cast in a movie that could be really good?
 
FLMountainMan [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:37:28 AM
My ex-girlfriend owned a DVD that had her and Paul Bettany as tennis stars. So she's gone the "crappy" movie route more than once, apparently.
 
FLMountainMan [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:38:03 AM
Why the hell did I put quotes around "crappy"?
 
skinink
2010-03-19 08:39:01 AM
Didn't Natalie hit rock bottom when she played a kid professing her love to a much older hitman? I really did like the Professional but the whole pedo storyline was too creepy.
 
Nemo's Brother
2010-03-19 08:39:21 AM
She kind of sucks. She was a great actress for being a child, but has not evolved since then.
 
merrymortician
2010-03-19 08:41:46 AM
She kind of sucks.

I'm counting on it.
 
feickus
2010-03-19 08:53:07 AM
Who? Oh you mean Demi Moores's husband. Wasn't he an idiot on "That 70's Show"
 
syrynxx [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 08:55:32 AM
Worse than starring in The Phantom Menace?

Chancellor, I was not elected to wear bizarre lipstick and three-foot hairstyles and fall in love with a six-year-old!
 
fish500
2010-03-19 08:59:09 AM
Kurmudgeon: I figure dealing with Ashton is much like this, so she can handle it...

i434.photobucket.com
 
howdyyall9999
2010-03-19 09:00:31 AM
FLMountainMan: Why the hell did "I" put "quotes" around "crappy"?
FTFY

/btw will be hiking up Mt Rogers in a few weeks...
 
Marisyana [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 09:01:03 AM
I remember seeing The Phantom Menace and during a scene with the kid and Natalie Portman some guy behind us yelled out "Hey, Amidala, that kid's totally gonna be banging you in ten years!" Sad to say that was the highlight of that movie for me.
 
bronyaur1 [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 09:07:49 AM
Nemo's Brother: She kind of sucks. She was a great actress for being a child, but has not evolved since then.

What everyone says is true - you really ARE never right about anything.
 
chewielouie
2010-03-19 09:14:58 AM
FLMountainMan: Why the hell did I put quotes around "crappy"?

therawfeed.com
 
galactus5000
2010-03-19 09:17:40 AM
Ashton was in The Butterfly Effect, and that was pretty decent.

He's been shiat in almost everything else.
 
GavinTheAlmighty
2010-03-19 09:19:51 AM
bronyaur1: What everyone says is true - you really ARE never right about anything.

I don't know, I might agree with him. She is a pretty terrible actress.
 
brimnac
2010-03-19 09:26:00 AM
FLMountainMan: Paul Bettany

That was with Kirsten Dunst. Makes no difference, really, but I sadly know the movie you reference.
 
Morpheses
2010-03-19 09:29:35 AM
Two words... Closer. Ok, that's one word. But if we went with "shiatty movie," that would be two words. That movie was the most awful, confusing piece of garbage that I've ever seen. Plus, no full frontal... just a cockteasing stripper scene where she never actually takes anything off.
 
HopScotchNSoda [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 09:36:58 AM
Brown Sauce: I'll always give him a pass because of That 70's Show

/it reminds me of happier days

What you did there; I sees it.
 
junglegoddess
2010-03-19 09:38:45 AM
I'm pretty sure Natalie Portman hit rock bottom when she did that movie where she gave birth in a Wal Mart.

Although The Phantom Menace is a close second.....
 
Brick-House
2010-03-19 09:40:04 AM
bigheaddc.com

I hear she is also staring in Beauty and the Beast. Here's a pict from that production -- for the 3 people out there confused, beauty is the one with the high beams on
 
StrikitRich
2010-03-19 09:40:13 AM
img228.imageshack.us

They could use this for the movie poster.
 
Whatthefark
2010-03-19 09:42:03 AM
She's a butterbody. You know, hot face, meh body. It's the inverse of butterface.

I guess I like women to have more curves than a sheet of plywood. If she put on twenty pounds, she'd look much better.
 
bugmn99
2010-03-19 09:54:40 AM
All I know is that jagoff better show some respect and take off his damned stupid trucker cap before he touches one blessed hair on her pedundum.
 
Shrugging Atlas
2010-03-19 09:55:23 AM
Marisyana: I remember seeing The Phantom Menace and during a scene with the kid and Natalie Portman some guy behind us yelled out "Hey, Amidala, that kid's totally gonna be banging you in ten years!" Sad to say that was the highlight of that movie for me.

Just reading that makes it the highlight of the movie for me as well.
 
Brick-House
2010-03-19 10:03:14 AM
Shrugging Atlas: Marisyana: I remember seeing The Phantom Menace and during a scene with the kid and Natalie Portman some guy behind us yelled out "Hey, Amidala, that kid's totally gonna be banging you in ten years!" Sad to say that was the highlight of that movie for me.

Just reading that makes it the highlight of the movie for me as well.

I guess that would make Natalie Portman a SciFi Couger or sorts?
 
nostratic
2010-03-19 10:10:05 AM
I'd rock her bottom.

If you know what I'm saying.

I mean I'd insert my...

sigh...
 
FLMountainMan [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 10:37:54 AM
brimnac: FLMountainMan: Paul Bettany

That was with Kirsten Dunst. Makes no difference, really, but I sadly know the movie you reference.

Damn, that's right. Dunst is actually a shyte sight worse than Portman, IMO. I'm sure she'd be devastated to hear that.

howdyyall9999: FLMountainMan: Why the hell did "I" put "quotes" around "crappy"?
FTFY

/btw will be hiking up Mt Rogers in a few weeks...

Enjoy! I love hiking it when it's colder out - less crowds. You should also try early August when the rhodedendrons bloom. I proposed to my (ex) fiance at Elk Garden in the fall. Damn, I need to get back out there.

chewielouie: FLMountainMan: Why the hell did I put quotes around "crappy"?

That skit was awesome. Especially the "too fat" part at the end.
 
Obscure Login
2010-03-19 10:43:41 AM
AgytianCrave: the version of the screenplay i read was really good. one of the few times i actually laughed out loud while reading a screenplay... and i did a few times.

The problem isn't with natalie portman... the problem is how did ashton kutcher get cast in a movie that could be really good?

Yeah, no matter how good the screen play may read, you still need Kutcher to act it out.

I'm sure the Butterfly Effect screenplay was a fantastic read, but then Kutcher had to step in and shiat all over the movie with his fantastic "acting".
 
Joy25
2010-03-19 10:47:40 AM
Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?
 
Tommy Moo
2010-03-19 10:50:37 AM
Meh. Maybe she has just done a string of artsy indy films and wants to get paid for a change.
 
Ashtrey
2010-03-19 10:54:04 AM
Joy25: Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?

I don't think she's that great of an actress. But that's about as far as we agree.
 
superoogie
2010-03-19 10:55:30 AM
Joy25: Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?

Your table is ready...

t1.gstatic.com
 
Train Defecator
2010-03-19 10:57:33 AM
Joy25: Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?

I'm with you. She's an awful actress. She's cute, like a normal girl you'd see around town, but not as hot as people go on and on about.
 
squeez cheez
2010-03-19 10:58:07 AM
Now that she's a Polanski supporter she has gone the way of Jane Fonda for me. Which is unfortunate - like Barbarella she looks pretty darn good and has proven capable of a good performance.
 
cryinoutloud
2010-03-19 10:58:55 AM
Whatthefark: She's a butterbody. You know, hot face, meh body. It's the inverse of butterface.
I guess I like women to have more curves than a sheet of plywood. If she put on twenty pounds, she'd look much better.

No she wouldn't, because all 20 pounds would go on her thighs or butt. She's a lil thing and she needs to stay that way.

/Boobs included, you pervs.
 
schattenteufel
2010-03-19 11:02:34 AM
Joy25: Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?

In general? Well, she's considered more than average-looking on the attractiveness scale, and she did get nominated for an Oscar won a Golden Globe for "Closer."

As for me? I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed (unless I thought there'd be some action on the floor) and I thought she's was good in most of the movies I've seen her in, including "Leon" "Closer."
 
Brick-House
2010-03-19 11:03:30 AM
I would not go out of my way to see her in a film, but given a chance to penis her, yea-- I give her a good hard pounding and kiss all her lady parts... In the end, we would both be hot, sweaty, out of breath and quite satisfied.
 
HawgWild [TotalFark]
2010-03-19 11:06:53 AM
I really, really want to play "uppy downy" with her.
 
schattenteufel
2010-03-19 11:07:04 AM
schattenteufel: Joy25: Anybody with me that she is not all that attractive and not really a good actress?

In general? Well, she's considered more than average-looking on the attractiveness scale, and she did get nominated for an Oscar won a Golden Globe for "Closer."

As for me? I certainly wouldn't kick her out of bed (unless I thought there'd be some action on the floor) and I thought she's was good in most of the movies I've seen her in, including "Leon" "Closer."

Weird. My "" (ampersand) signs didn't show up in my post.
 
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