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(Newsday)   Asshat impersonates war hero, now plays real life prison biatch   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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11022 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Apr 2003 at 8:29 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

68 Comments     (+0 »)
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2003-04-28 08:31:58 AM  
He couldn't handle the truth.
2003-04-28 08:32:05 AM  
What a tool.
2003-04-28 08:32:14 AM  
As far as altering documents, yes, maybe I can see that, but he's getting jail time for wearing a uniform?
2003-04-28 08:33:22 AM  
this guy is obviously not a very good impersonator, seeing as he has been caught twice.
2003-04-28 08:34:06 AM  
His wife Morgan Fairchild has since filed for divorce.

[image from too old to be available]
2003-04-28 08:34:20 AM  
I did not know that was a crime..
2003-04-28 08:34:57 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Was it this guy?

/We will never speak of this again
2003-04-28 08:35:58 AM  
2003-04-28 08:39:56 AM  
"White was in the Marines from 1973 to 1976, but prosecutors say his records show he never achieved a rank higher than sergeant and did not serve in Vietnam or in combat. He has a federal conviction for impersonating a CIA agent."

Hahaha, what an asshat!
2003-04-28 08:40:46 AM  
Prison Biatch. yep, now he's gonna be impersonation a female.

I hope he learns to like biting the pillow.
2003-04-28 08:41:03 AM  
I think prison is a little harsh, but this dickweed deserves every bit of shame that can be heaped upon him.
2003-04-28 08:45:59 AM  
We need to ban the "A" word that rhymes with "masshat"...

It's dead, it's old, it's tired, and let's face it, it was funny the first (and maybe second time) you said it to yourself, now it's just plain stupid...
2003-04-28 08:46:51 AM  
I wonder if he has ever impersonated a vibrating dildo.
2003-04-28 08:47:15 AM  
Stfu asshat.

/joking, put the pitchfork down
2003-04-28 08:47:53 AM  
prison?little to harsh i thing,these are the situations where you re-thing the baning of public whipings
2003-04-28 08:50:04 AM  
This must be the best title ever. :)
2003-04-28 08:50:14 AM  
So, one cannot dress up in an army uniform? I wanted my boyfriend to get one, they are hot.

/didn't read the article, perhaps I should...
2003-04-28 08:52:17 AM  
I think problem comes from making an apperance (most likely for money) by representing something your not.
2003-04-28 08:54:31 AM  
Wydock, beat me to it punk! :)
2003-04-28 08:56:36 AM  
LexiLuthor: So, one cannot dress up in an army uniform?

I dunno about that one (googling right now . . .) but this guy impersonated an officer of the US military and got paid money because of it.

(Yes he was in the army, but he's still impersonating. . .)
2003-04-28 08:57:32 AM  
I think I hear a news vacuum....
damn this is going to be a slow day.
2003-04-28 08:58:46 AM  
Whoever came up with this headline is retarded. Dumbest headline ever.
2003-04-28 08:59:41 AM  
I wonder if headlines are filtered. Hmmm.
2003-04-28 09:02:50 AM  
I think I hear a news vacuum....
damn this is going to be a slow day.

Please don't say that... You know that it always jinxes thing and then something really really bad happens.

/goes to hide in the bunker
2003-04-28 09:09:54 AM  
If anyone should be thrown in prison for impersonation's it should be Conan O'Brien
2003-04-28 09:12:50 AM  
Heh. Public whiping Now THAT would be humiliating!
2003-04-28 09:19:42 AM  
There's a guy like this in every town, hanging around the local gin mill. He's the guy saying, "I know 214 ways to kill a man with a beer bottle, I got this scar in the Mai Jing Delta." Sometimes he limps on this left leg, sometimes on his right.

Eventually he finds some Oli North on a bad night and gets his ass kicked.
2003-04-28 09:21:49 AM  
shiat? Sergeant in 3 years? Wow, that guy must have done a lot of ass kissing.

I am a PV2 in the Army and I get promoted at a slow pace. Normaly, anyone in the service takes at least 5 years to go from enlisted 1 (Private) to enlisted 5(Sergeant)
2003-04-28 09:29:03 AM  
Prison? It doesn't bother me that they sent him off to the "Pokey".
You know why it's called the "Pokey"?
You don't want to know.

I'd have turned him over to a Veterans group (real Vets) and let them supply a little attitude re-adjustment.
8 months would probably seem tame by comparison.

2003-04-28 09:31:00 AM  
But does he still play with his man-boobs?
2003-04-28 09:43:07 AM  
Yes you can wear military uniforms,but you cannot have certain things on them like rank. tour ribbons and you must take off the flag on the uniform on the upper right or left shoulder. and For you American fellas you have to remover the words U.S army on the front.

Then its legal. the uniform colours are fine aslong as you try not to affilitate yourself with a military or goverment of your or other nations.
2003-04-28 09:44:57 AM  

It took me 4 years to get to corporal lol the bottom of the food chain sucks ass on so many levels.
2003-04-28 09:46:10 AM  
Grivas, yeah..that's the ticket.
2003-04-28 09:46:21 AM  
Who did you piss off? I've only been in two and a half years, and I'd have my five right now if I'd made points. I was lazy and didnt do correspondance courses and now I'm paying the price, but I should have it by July anyhoo. But its not uncommon for people to get their sgt at two years. Three is actually kind of slow.
2003-04-28 09:46:39 AM  
Guy near Houston did this last year. He'd been impersonating a Vietnam war hero for 30 years. I think he's doing time.

/still don't like the AM/PM stuff, now I don't like the font or color of the names, eother.
2003-04-28 09:49:25 AM  
As far as altering documents, yes, maybe I can see that, but he's getting jail time for wearing a uniform?

It was more the "impersonating an officer" bit. There's nothing that says that as a civilian, you can't wear a military uniform, if there was there'd be a lot of military surplus stores and gay bars out of business. The problem is when you make claims that you are (or were) something that you aren't/weren't.

The big no-no though (aside from the false documents), was the medals. Particularly the Navy Cross, as the article states, it's second in order only to the MoH, they don't hand out Navy Crosses like candy (unlike the "National Defense Medal that I got in boot camp).

Basically it's false representation, and in my opinion, does a great disservice to those who actually wore the uniform. This guy was a Marine sergeant, that's not a bad thing to be, and if he'd worn his uniform with sergeant's stripes instead of warrant officer bars, he'd have been okay on the uniform bit, the unearned medals of course would still a problem.

To give you an idea of how serious the military takes this sort of thing, a few years ago, the Chief of Naval Operations was accused of wearing medals that he didn't earn. The media had a field day, and he ended up committing suicide due to shame and embarresment. It was later learned that he most likely did qualify for the medals, but it was by that point too late.

And last month I thinkk it was, Fark ran a story about some sailor who went home on leave and made claims that he was a SEAL, the Navy found out about it, and that was pretty much the end of his career. When I was in aircrew school, we had a similar incident, kid goes home to get married, throws on a stack of ribbons & medals, a SEAL trident, etc. All is good until the asshat starts showing his wedding pictures around. Asshat then gets a first hand lesson in Captain's Mast or Court Martial.

So, one cannot dress up in an army uniform? I wanted my boyfriend to get one, they are hot.

Nah, your boyfriend should be fine, as long as he doesn't run around town claiming that he's actually in the military. And if it's just a bedroom sort of thing, then do whatever you want.

2003-04-28 09:50:46 AM  
Kpar90: still don't like the AM/PM stuff

What AM/PM stuff? Am I missing something?
2003-04-28 09:53:27 AM

Prohibited Wearing of Army Uniform

8 Aug 1995

1. Purpose. To identify times and circumstances where wearing the Army uniform is prohibited.

2. Facts.

a. Wear of the uniform by active duty personnel. Personnel on active duty pursuant to orders issued under Title 10 of the U.S. Code are prohibited from wearing the Army uniform under the following circumstances:

(1) In connection with the furtherance of any political or commercial interest or when engaged in off-duty civilian employment;

(2) When participating in public speeches, interviews, picket lines, marches, rallies, or public demonstrations, except as authorized by competent authority;

(3) When attending any meeting or event which is a function of, or is sponsored by, an extremist organization (for example, a subversive organization which advocates commission of acts of violence, seeks to deny others their rights under the Constitution, or advocates violent overthrow of the Government);

(4) When wearing the uniform would bring discredit upon the Army;

(5) When otherwise prohibited by Army regulation or lawful order.

b. Wear of the uniform by non-military personnel.

(1) Pursuant to 10 U.S.C. 771, and enforced by criminal sanctions under 18 U.S.C. 701 and 702, no person, unless otherwise authorized by law, may wear the uniform or a distinctive part of the uniform of the U.S. Army; or any device which is similar to a distinctive part of the uniform of the U.S. Army.

(a) This extends to soldiers in civilian clothes. Distinctive parts of the uniform may only be worn with civilian clothes when specifically authorized by AR 670-1.

(b) The power to define an authorized uniform has been delegated through the President to the Secretary of the Army.

(2) Unauthorized personnel may not possess or wear distinctive uniform items. Those items include:

(a) All Army headgear when worn with insignia;

(b) Badges and tabs--identification, combat, marksmanship, and special skill;

(c) Uniform buttons--U.S. Army or Corps of Engineers;

(d) Decorations, service medals, service and training ribbons, and other awards and their appurtenances;

(e) Insignia of any design or color the Army has adopted.

(3) Civilians attached to Army forces overseas may wear certain Army uniforms under conditions specified in para. 29-10, AR 670-1.

(4) Pursuant to 10 U.S.C. 772(f), actors in a legitimate theatrical production may wear military uniforms.

(5) "Requests for use of DoD uniforms and insignia in commercial advertising and promotions will be referred to OASD(PA) for approval." para. VII, DoDI 5410.20, Public Affairs Relations With Business and Non-Governmental Organizations Representing Business. See also para. 3-37b, AR 360-5, Public Information.

c. Wear of the uniform by former military personnel.

(1) Former members of the Army who have been honorably discharged may wear their uniforms at funerals, memorials, weddings, inaugurals, military parades, and on national or state holidays.

(2) Medal of Honor recipients may wear their uniform at their pleasure so long as they do not violate the provisions of subparagraph a., above.

(3) Former members of the Army may wear full-size or miniature medals on appropriate civilian clothing on patriotic, social, or ceremonial occasions.
2003-04-28 09:56:18 AM  

True, that is true. But I am talking about the average. I have met a Specialist that has been in for about 7 years. Some dumbasses dont care about becoming an NCO.

I cant wait for my freaking PFC in two months!
2003-04-28 09:57:41 AM  
Well, since I doubt he's actually going to run around saying he's in the army, I think we'll be fine. Thanks for the help :)
2003-04-28 10:07:11 AM  
Meanwhile Enron execs continue to walk free. Who are the bigger criminals? Where is the justice?
2003-04-28 10:08:04 AM  

The only way to be sure is post pictures of what YOU are going to wear. :)
2003-04-28 10:08:15 AM  
A great many of those super senior specialists got in trouble too. An article fifteen or four can do wonders for slowing a climb up the promotion ladder. Then they talk a lot of shiat about how they 'dont really give a fark' and thats why they're getting e4 pay with seven years in. Of course there are the rare exceptions. The Army Times had an article about a guy with eight years in who was an e4.. though he'd just gotten his doctorate in neurosurgery, and now was on his way to getting his captain. He was too busy with school to go too PLDC, so he stayed a specialist. For him it was a good move. Still, overall, as long as you keep your head on straight you should manage to climb the ranks to seargent in three years max.
2003-04-28 10:09:55 AM  
The only way to be sure is post pictures of what YOU are going to wear. :)

I'll second the motion.

2003-04-28 10:11:32 AM  
Hahahahahahahaha, sorry boys, I don't know how to post pics!

/computer un-literate
2003-04-28 10:12:49 AM  
Warning, warning, danger Will Robinson!

Others will ask LexiLuthor to post a picture, and when she does, she'll get called an Attention Whore.

Not that ever happened to anyone . . . (today)
2003-04-28 10:13:39 AM  
LTC Doe - SGT Ate-up, I hearby demote you for insubordination. Your new rank is SPC. I suggest you look towards PV2 Squared-away for some suggestions of how to be a good soldier!

SGT Ate-up - Do'h!
2003-04-28 10:17:06 AM  
What a frkking wannabe.

This asshat sounds like my ex.
2003-04-28 10:25:19 AM  
I hear its the death penalty if you dress up as Saddam...
2003-04-28 10:26:08 AM  
Maybe he got a nasty bump on the head and had some amnesia and then some other folks convinced him he was a war hero when really all he was trying to do was remember his true identity.

Nah. Not funny enough.
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