FARK.com: (5122949) Woman sees Jesus in wooden door. Lady, that's knot Jesus. (w/ video)

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(Some Nutjob)		Woman sees Jesus in wooden door. Lady, that's knot Jesus. (w/ video) (abclocal.go.com)		76
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5832 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2010 at 8:21 PM | Favorite | share:

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Britney Spear's Speculum

2010-03-18 03:56:55 PM

Mexican Flag? Check. Pregnant? Check.

phlegmmo

2010-03-18 04:00:04 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum:
Mexican Flag? Check. Pregnant? Check.

Dios mio!

phlegmmo

2010-03-18 04:10:00 PM

"She called for me and told me that she saw the image and I told her no, that she was crazy," Martinez recalled. But she now believes.

You were right the first time.

*facepalm*

Britney Spear's Speculum

2010-03-18 04:21:20 PM

phlegmmo: Dios mio!

I live in an area with lots of believers and the other day I found a stain in the sidewalk that oddly resembles the silhouette of the virgin de guadulupe. Unfortunately, it's embedded in the sidewalk so I have no way of legally charging ~~suckers~~ people to view it.

phlegmmo

2010-03-18 04:22:52 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum:
phlegmmo: Dios mio!

I live in an area with lots of believers and the other day I found a stain in the sidewalk that oddly resembles the silhouette of the virgin de guadulupe. Unfortunately, it's embedded in the sidewalk so I have no way of legally charging ~~suckers~~ people to view it.

Finally! Concrete proof!

FloydA

2010-03-18 04:23:46 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: phlegmmo: Dios mio!

I live in an area with lots of believers and the other day I found a stain in the sidewalk that oddly resembles the silhouette of the virgin de guadulupe. Unfortunately, it's embedded in the sidewalk so I have no way of legally charging suckers people to view it.

Set up a table next to it and sell candles.

Britney Spear's Speculum

2010-03-18 04:47:17 PM

FloydA: Set up a table next to it and sell candles.

There's a Mexican Supermarket like 100 yards away :(

phlegmmo

2010-03-18 04:59:54 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum:
FloydA: Set up a table next to it and sell candles.

There's a Mexican Supermarket like 100 yards away :(

Location, location, location

FloydA

2010-03-18 05:20:15 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: FloydA: Set up a table next to it and sell candles.

There's a Mexican Supermarket like 100 yards away :(

All the better. That way you don't have to walk far after buying out their entire stock!

Adjective Bird Whiskey

2010-03-18 05:23:31 PM

The stupidest recurring news story in modern history. Hello, Channel 12? I see in . WELL STOP THE PRESSES AND JERK THE DOG OFF, WE'LL BE RIGHT OVER.

thenapalm

2010-03-18 05:45:12 PM

In the house where I spent my formative years, a closet door had two knotholes that looked like Beavis and Butthead.
I want a feature segment on the news too, dammit.

Hobodeluxe

2010-03-18 05:50:03 PM

FloydA

2010-03-18 05:50:30 PM

Green?

Then please fix the headline. The crazy person thinks her door looks like the Virgin Mary, not Jesus.

madmann

2010-03-18 07:15:38 PM

If I told everyone I saw Thor in my driveway or the Flying Spaghetti Monster in my Spaghetti-Os, they'd lock me the fark up.

Why do Jesustologists get a free pass?

MaxxLarge

2010-03-18 07:54:04 PM

madmann: Why do Jesustologists get a free pass?

Because we're not allowed to criticize them. Honestly...we used to call people who heard voices, believed in the invisible, and talked to people who weren't there by the correct name: "Mentally Ill." But now, as long as their imaginary friend is named "Jesus," we have to refer to them as "religious." So they're supposedly above reproach.

Shame, that.

joeyromeo

2010-03-18 08:22:55 PM

ROCKS.

jekxrb

2010-03-18 08:24:22 PM

Usually I'm pretty good at discerning patterns and images, but I don't really see it.

Maybe you could argue for the grain of the wood being shaped like a mandorla and I suppose I see a bit of a head inside that, but otherwise? This is a real stretch.

The condom Mary is much better:

ZeroCorpse

2010-03-18 08:24:29 PM

P
A
R
E
I
D
O
L
I
A

When will the news grow up and mention it when they do these stories? Or better yet: stop doing these stories!

The Invisible Sky Wizard

2010-03-18 08:24:58 PM

Stop hitting yourself.

InvincibleCritic

2010-03-18 08:26:29 PM

Our Lady of the Plywood Laminate Door?

CaesarSneezy

2010-03-18 08:27:37 PM

Yes, obviously divine.

the_chief

2010-03-18 08:28:12 PM

Women who have abortions should get the electric chair.

Wulfman

2010-03-18 08:29:10 PM

Looks like Natalee Holloway.

GungFu

2010-03-18 08:30:47 PM

Religious people and their 'visions' are doing my farking nut.

I want to bash her head into that door and make her see butterflies or whatever random object that appears in her splattered blood.

Oh, and fark Mexico.

Bit'O'Gristle

2010-03-18 08:30:54 PM

Martinez said the image appeared on the door of a spare bedroom after a friend spent the night.

Had a feeling that it was a Mexican catholic before i even clicked the link. Yep.

/STOP WORSHIPING THE DOOR AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH!!

No_One_Special

2010-03-18 08:31:19 PM

Every time someone shows me the "image" of Jesus appearing in x... I always notice that it looks just as much like Charles Manson or Che Guevara as it does Jesus.

jekxrb

2010-03-18 08:31:33 PM

CaesarSneezy: Yes, obviously divine.

The divine Bob Marley?

the_chief

2010-03-18 08:32:49 PM

It would be nice if instead of painting pictures on doors, god would do something about all the human suffering.

Clete Orris

2010-03-18 08:33:52 PM

the_chief: Women who have abortions should get the electric chair.

As opposed to the proven medical procedure?

therhinodep

2010-03-18 08:35:49 PM

jekxrb: CaesarSneezy: Yes, obviously divine.

The divine Bob Marley?

www.poolparty.com

The divine Miss M.

madmann

2010-03-18 08:35:49 PM

the_chief: It would be nice if instead of painting pictures on doors, god would do something about all the human suffering.

God doesn't want to support the capitalist system. He's an artist.

pup.socket

2010-03-18 08:36:42 PM

nothing on that door that a light sanding won't fix. i guess there is enough sand around there too.

Norad

2010-03-18 08:39:30 PM

No_One_Special: Every time someone shows me the "image" of Jesus appearing in x... I always notice that it looks just as much like Charles Manson or Che Guevara as it does Jesus.

And even that is wrong as hell. Jesus wasn't a long-haired bearded Caucasian guy. He probably looked more like one of the 9/11 hijackers than the Western 'white guy' version.

Never understood that.

Barakku

2010-03-18 08:43:34 PM

It looks more like...um, like an...um...I don't see anything to even make fun of.

AuCinaoaMie

2010-03-18 08:48:16 PM

So Jesus has nothing better to do than appear in every day inanimate objects? Or perhaps he is trying to reach out to us from the other side like the little girl in Poltergeist?

HotLonelyTeenageGirl

2010-03-18 08:49:18 PM

pup.socket: nothing on that door that a light sanding won't fix.

Ok, now that actually made me LOL. Heavily.

Arthur the Sandwich Maker

2010-03-18 08:56:43 PM

We had Jesus' image appear to us on our dinner-table, blotched in turkey grease from where we put the roast at Christmas dinner. Hallelujah!

lh6.ggpht.com

Bit stupid of him though, since we're an atheist household but no one ever said gods or their children were smart. And he's obviously the crown-of-thorns variety Jesus, so wrong bloody anniversary too. Idiot.

Asako

2010-03-18 08:59:42 PM

I don't see anything but I can't criticize her for her faith. Many times things like these are meant to be personal and for the edification of that particular individual.

Liliac_Hill

2010-03-18 09:03:01 PM

Henry Poole does not approve.

/would post pic, but I has no skills.

HotLonelyTeenageGirl

2010-03-18 09:05:33 PM

Arthur the Sandwich Maker: We had Jesus' image appear to us on our dinner-table, blotched in turkey grease from where we put the roast at Christmas dinner. Hallelujah!

Bit stupid of him though, since we're an atheist household but no one ever said gods or their children were smart. And he's obviously the crown-of-thorns variety Jesus, so wrong bloody anniversary too. Idiot.

You atheists are too damned blind and ignorant to see a direct sign from The Lord trying to save you from the eternal fiery damnation that comes from not accepting God's unending love, understanding, and forgiveness. He even gave it in the form of turkey.

The Grinch

2010-03-18 09:05:36 PM

Clete Orris

2010-03-18 09:06:58 PM

the_chief: It would be nice if instead of painting pictures on doors, god would do something about all the human suffering.

He did. I believe it is called "divorce".

vrax

2010-03-18 09:11:35 PM

An evil skull has appeared in your "Dinner Table Jesus". I would like to come by and offer a virgin sacrifice to it. thx

CaesarSneezy

2010-03-18 09:24:27 PM

vrax: An evil skull has appeared in your "Dinner Table Jesus". I would like to come by and offer a virgin sacrifice to it. thx

That is one seriously evil skull.

HotLonelyTeenageGirl

2010-03-18 09:29:29 PM

vrax: An evil skull has appeared in your "Dinner Table Jesus". I would like to come by and offer a virgin sacrifice to it. thx

"Dear Penthouse Forum,
It all began one night on a popular internet forum when I posted a picture of Jesus which had appeared in the grease from my Christmas turkey...."

jingks

2010-03-18 09:37:21 PM

When I was a kid and bored, say in a waiting room or something, I would always try to identify/imagine images in wood objects. Kind of like cloud watching, but to me at least, a lot easier.

traylor

2010-03-18 09:39:49 PM

Jesus will be going through really difficult times when he finally decides to show himself here and there.

Lot_Lizard

2010-03-18 09:40:17 PM

Well, it's still better than the Michael Jackson tree...

http://www.kcra.com/entertainment/19970694/detail.html

MuToiD_MaN

2010-03-18 09:40:36 PM

Seriously? There's nothing there.

Forbidden Doughnut

2010-03-18 09:46:25 PM

Old news. Didn't Penn & Teller already cover this on their TV show?