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(Yahoo)   "Moms' self esteem hurt by helpful dads" says Institute For Mens' Lazy-Ass Excuses   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 223
    More: Stupid, low self-esteem, parenting skills, inequality, mens, gender differences, social norm, child care, University of Texas  
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9303 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2010 at 4:17 PM (4 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



223 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-18 03:31:01 PM  
Is "helpful dads" the new slang for internet porn?
 
2010-03-18 04:18:44 PM  
It seems to me that instead of paying women in money, we should just pay them self-esteem. Perhaps in hat form.
 
2010-03-18 04:19:00 PM  
Howd they get out of the kitchen?
 
2010-03-18 04:19:13 PM  
Your self esteem would be hurt to if your significant other made his own sammiches.
 
2010-03-18 04:19:31 PM  
Cry me a river. We've been nagged and mocked for decades for not helping, so enjoy it.
 
2010-03-18 04:21:36 PM  
I think I saw an Andy Griffith episode about this once.

Aunt Bea got all pissy because Andy cooked dinner and cleaned house while she was gone.
 
2010-03-18 04:21:50 PM  
8.5 tailed fox: It seems to me that instead of paying women in money, we should just pay them self-esteem. Perhaps in hat form.

farm4.static.flickr.com

Agrees
 
2010-03-18 04:21:58 PM  
My kid's dad is a great dad...pays me with peace and quiet. Silly article is silly
 
2010-03-18 04:22:07 PM  
Sounds about right.

"WAAAH! You never help me!"
*helps out*
"WAAAH! Your helping hurts me!"

/biatches ain't never happy
 
2010-03-18 04:22:09 PM  
Headline submitted by the Feminazi Misandrist Society.

For cripes sake. We do everything you want us to do. Now we're doing too much?
 
2010-03-18 04:22:34 PM  
8.5 tailed fox: It seems to me that instead of paying women in money, we should just pay them self-esteem.

It works for me. I've been getting paid with pats-on-the-back for about 5 years now.
 
2010-03-18 04:22:50 PM  
They should have thought about it more when they asked for rights.
 
2010-03-18 04:22:55 PM  
Then there is always the lovely situation in which the husband does housework, but never ever to the impossibly high standards of his wife. It's not enough to load the dishwasher... you must also make sure the silverware is all sorted in the basket before washing. Vacuuming the floor? You can't go up and down...you have to go back and forth.
 
2010-03-18 04:23:12 PM  
I want my wife to have high self-esteem, so I think I'll go home tonight and ignore my family entirely. Maybe I'll work in the backyard or play some video games, but no matter how tempted I might be to change a diaper or feed the kid, I won't let myself do it. She'll be so thankful that I'm sensitive to her needs...
 
2010-03-18 04:23:44 PM  
8.5 tailed fox: It seems to me that instead of paying women in money, we should just pay them self-esteem. Perhaps in hat form.


photos.killervirgo.com
 
2010-03-18 04:23:56 PM  
That sounded more to me like "societal pressure makes parents crazy. Here is an example."
 
2010-03-18 04:24:03 PM  
You want self esteem too? Not tonight honey, I got a headache....
 
2010-03-18 04:24:20 PM  
"Husbands are often told by their wives that they are good parents when they are involved in care-giving that their wives normally do, such as feeding, changing diapers, shame-screaming and soothing," Sasaki said. "In contrast, husbands do not tell their wives that they are good parents even when their wives exhibit such behavior probably because it is taken for granted."


And when do the wives- aw fark it.
 
2010-03-18 04:24:43 PM  
slave2grind: I think I saw an Andy Griffith episode about this once.

Aunt Bea got all pissy because Andy cooked dinner and cleaned house while she was gone.


Where did Aunt Bea go? To get some pie-makin' fixins?
 
2010-03-18 04:25:25 PM  
Marriage is so gay.
 
2010-03-18 04:25:27 PM  
I really do feel for you guys.
 
2010-03-18 04:25:36 PM  
lukelightning: Then there is always the lovely situation in which the husband does housework, but never ever to the impossibly high standards of his wife. It's not enough to load the dishwasher... you must also make sure the silverware is all sorted in the basket before washing. Vacuuming the floor? You can't go up and down...you have to go back and forth.

I've had my girlfriend reload the dishwasher after I did it "wrong", meaning not the exact same way she does it.

/probably gonna marry her anyway
//probably
 
2010-03-18 04:25:47 PM  
What someone with low elf-esteem might look like:

api.ning.com
 
2010-03-18 04:26:21 PM  
Damned if you help, damned if you don't. Sorry, guys.

(shame-screaming?)
 
2010-03-18 04:28:07 PM  
lukelightning: Then there is always the lovely situation in which the husband does housework, but never ever to the impossibly high standards of his wife.

Heh. I had a girlfriend tell me the other day how her husband had cooked dinner for her the night before and she was SO PR0UD of herself for only telling him he was doing it a little bit wrong.
 
2010-03-18 04:28:26 PM  
ToxicMunkee: (shame-screaming?)

It's some kinky BDSM roleplay involving someone dressing up as
graysmatter.codivation.com
 
2010-03-18 04:29:15 PM  
"While mothers are encouraged to join the workforce, socially constructed ideals of motherhood requires mothers to be primary caregivers," said study researcher Takayuki Sasaki of the Osaka University of Commerce in Japan.

Maybe we should be addressing real problems instead of those which come from external social ideals.

1) Accept someone else's definition of what oneself should be, even from something as nebulous as 'social norm', and you run the risk of having that more easily deflated by external influences. It's almost formulaic enough to base Hollywood movies upon.

2) Reject the external 'social ideal' (if you even actually know anyone who would have approved said social idea given the chance) and you run the risk of making your own mistakes... but personally I prefer option 1, making it more likely I don't get caught in the 'self esteem in a can' syndrome.

3) This is what's coming out of Japan now instead of more tentacle pr0n?

/otaku is disappointed
 
2010-03-18 04:29:22 PM  
RIP Steam

static.howstuffworks.com
 
2010-03-18 04:30:16 PM  
HotWingConspiracy: Marriage is so gay.

It is now.
The republicans tried to stop it.
 
2010-03-18 04:30:35 PM  
Ginsbergs Ink
My kid's dad is a great dad...pays me with peace and quiet. Silly article is silly

Happy to see you didn't use the parlance of our times and say "baby daddy"
 
2010-03-18 04:31:43 PM  
How would it impact her self esteem if she found out I don't give a fark one way of the other about her self esteem?

Not that it makes a difference anyway, because I ain't one of those half-men "helpful" dads.
 
2010-03-18 04:33:04 PM  
I call bullshiat.
 
2010-03-18 04:33:47 PM  
chopit: lukelightning: Then there is always the lovely situation in which the husband does housework, but never ever to the impossibly high standards of his wife. It's not enough to load the dishwasher... you must also make sure the silverware is all sorted in the basket before washing. Vacuuming the floor? You can't go up and down...you have to go back and forth.

I've had my girlfriend reload the dishwasher after I did it "wrong", meaning not the exact same way she does it.

/probably gonna marry her anyway
//probably


Good work training her. After a few more times of that she'll tell you not to bother, she'll do it herself.

/feigned helplessness FTW
 
2010-03-18 04:34:14 PM  
halfof33
...because I ain't one of those half-men "helpful" dads.

But you are half of 33
 
2010-03-18 04:35:38 PM  
Fano: chopit: lukelightning: Then there is always the lovely situation in which the husband does housework, but never ever to the impossibly high standards of his wife. It's not enough to load the dishwasher... you must also make sure the silverware is all sorted in the basket before washing. Vacuuming the floor? You can't go up and down...you have to go back and forth.

I've had my girlfriend reload the dishwasher after I did it "wrong", meaning not the exact same way she does it.

/probably gonna marry her anyway
//probably

Good work training her. After a few more times of that she'll tell you not to bother, she'll do it herself.

/feigned helplessness FTW


Think fo all the self esteem she will have after she realizes how much better she loads the dishwasher than you.
 
2010-03-18 04:35:52 PM  
The Helpful Bus will fix that.
 
2010-03-18 04:36:00 PM  
can we do anything rite
 
2010-03-18 04:36:04 PM  
Since when is a woman's standard of home cleanliness higher than a man's? The 70s? I have met very few women under the age of 40 who put in any real effort to keep a clean house. Most don't bother to dust or vacuum more than once every couple months, and when they try to help at your place they inevitably stick your best cookware and knives right in the dishwasher.
 
2010-03-18 04:36:20 PM  
gis for "sunday hat" and you find this lil treat:
static.flickr.com

/but it wouldn't be nothing.... NOTHING!!!!
//...without a woman or a girl
 
2010-03-18 04:37:59 PM  
In this house if you make the mess you clean it up. I'm not your maid, your cook or sherpa. Mr. Chick helped make the kids, he helps take care of them. That's how it should be. Do I feel threatned? Fark no. I'll take all the help I can get.
 
2010-03-18 04:39:07 PM  
BunkyBrewman: Headline submitted by the Feminazi Misandrist Society.

For cripes sake. We do everything you want us to do. Now we're doing too much?


Nah, its the Militant International League of Feminists a.k.a, MILF's. They will always find something to biatch about.

/sombody post a pic of Al Bundy in his NO MAAM shirt.
 
2010-03-18 04:39:20 PM  
busy chillin': Ginsbergs Ink
My kid's dad is a great dad...pays me with peace and quiet. Silly article is silly

Happy to see you didn't use the parlance of our times and say "baby daddy"


Maybe if I had drama with the kid's dad, I would. But there is no drama ever. The guy is a great dad, a better cook than me, and cleans the house.

Maybe he's secretly gay?

/I keed
 
2010-03-18 04:39:35 PM  
how do you say...done in one?
 
2010-03-18 04:40:05 PM  
hockeychick: In this house if you make the mess you clean it up. I'm not your maid, your cook or sherpa. Mr. Chick helped make the kids, he helps take care of them. That's how it should be. Do I feel threatned? Fark no. I'll take all the help I can get.

Wait'll the kids tell you they like how daddy reads the bedtime story better or that he makes better sammiches and we'll have to talk you off a ledge.
 
2010-03-18 04:41:10 PM  
Fano: Cry me a river. We've been nagged and mocked for decades for not helping, so enjoy it.

THIS. And I'm a woman and I still say THIS.
/even though I'm sobbing and feeling emotionally inadequate and vacant right now
//*sniffle*
 
2010-03-18 04:41:43 PM  
Fano: hockeychick: In this house if you make the mess you clean it up. I'm not your maid, your cook or sherpa. Mr. Chick helped make the kids, he helps take care of them. That's how it should be. Do I feel threatned? Fark no. I'll take all the help I can get.

Wait'll the kids tell you they like how daddy reads the bedtime story better or that he makes better sammiches and we'll have to talk you off a ledge.


He's already a more popular story reader. I can get the kids to eat more veggies. It's a trade off.
 
2010-03-18 04:42:12 PM  
Right up until there's a spider on the wall.
 
2010-03-18 04:43:32 PM  
Women are insecure.

Most things are explained by that.
 
2010-03-18 04:43:44 PM  
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty: /biatches ain't never happy
 
2010-03-18 04:45:47 PM  
There is some genius in the comments under that article. Check the Boobies gem:

I blame this entirely on the Obama Administration. Haha. First nut on the column--now all of you other GOP republican crazies can take the day off. Maybe you can go play golf, shoot defenseless animals, shout at a tea party, or just generally freak out and count your money. LOL

You can't go anywhere on the net and read an article without some rightwing nutjob blaming obama in the comments.
 
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