one potato, two potato, three potato, floor

Attack of the Killer Tomatos?

Shot down in a blaze of celery.

Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:

News: ... Not News: .. Fark:

Some shiat happens do you c) ...

Ugly ass animal born here are some pictures

mother/Father of the year award goes to...

Retarded headline returns with repeatative redundancy

Doing something stupid is no way to go through life.

Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

When they ban vegetables, only criminals will have vegetables.

1nsanilicious: Agreed. If you throw in: still no cure for cancer - you'll have my support to pass this bill.

TFA said customers threw groceries at the robber, not vegetables. Cans of corn can be injurious to your health!

I don't know, for a multiple choice headline, this one wasn't bad. I actually had to look at the article because, since this is fark, any of the choices could have been the right one. . .

porkzero: one potato, two potato, three potato, floor


I see your three potatoes, and raise you one psychotic, super potato:





Also beware of the pumpkins:

Bendal: TFA said customers threw groceries at the robber, not vegetables. Cans of corn can be injurious to your health!

This is a good tactic, even against people armed with guns.

Generally, if there is an 'active shooter' in your general area, the safest thing to do is to find a room with a stout door that you can lock from the inside, one the preferably doesn't have windows, and wait it out.

Once the active shooter is in the same room and aware of your presence, though, the situation drastically changes. You throw every thing that can be picked up and thrown at the person, and try to rush and tackle him and take away the gun. At that point, you really have nothing to lose.

The reason for throwing things is that accurately shooting a firearm requires fine motor skills and good eye-hand coordination, all of which goes out the window when you are being pelted with books, chairs, and yes, canned corn. I don't know any shooter, including Todd Jarrett and Jerry Miculek, who could accurately shoot while being hit by various large and small pieces of flying debris, while being simultaneously rushed.

Given how dangerous the critters are in Australia, I'd expect that their vegetables are similarly lethal.

FOOD FIGHT!

I'm sad that people are treating Terri Schiavo with so much disrespect. Couldn't they have found something else to throw?

I hope they booed as they threw them. Crush his self esteem. CRUSH IT! This wouldn't work in the UK, the vegetable throwers would be arrested for assault with a deadly melon.

Lettuce not pass judgement...

Was it one of these men?



"Oh good, they've opened a salad bar."

Looks like he got the short end of the Carrot stick!

This is Australia. Even the vegetables are venomous. Don't try to hold up a store in Australia with a knife.

skammie: Then, I don't know, maybe you should submit your own witty headlines.

I've tried, but while I'm not creative, at least they were original compared to the patterns 1nsanilicious complained about. But personal experiences aside, having been sponsored a few times (so I got a glimpse of what's redlighted), I concur that it seems like with the exception of a few HotW candidates, a majority of headlines fit one of a few cliche patterns. If hits = beer money, one wonders why Drew doesn't instruct the mods to automatically reject every overused meme, because frankly it's getting farking boring.

Did they beet him to submission? I bet they didn't carrot all if they hurt him.

A drive by fruiting?

Employee: "Should I get the cops to take him down?"
Customers: "No, lettuce."

LEEKSPIN!!! (new window, sound included, mind your speakers)

1nsanilicious: Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:



Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

I have yet to see this one.
Please, demonstrate with your own greenlit gem of wisdom and allow us to bask in the awesomeness of your literary might.

vudukungfu: 1nsanilicious: Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:



Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

I have yet to see this one.
Please, demonstrate with your own greenlit gem of wisdom and allow us to bask in the awesomeness of your literary might.

How you you interpreted what I said to mean that I can do better is anyone's guess.

All Im saying is that I believe that there are alot of submissions to headlines that are witty, so why are we getting the same tired old "wit" thrust on us day after day?

I can only assume that the Mods have a hard on for those tired cliches or the Mods are allowed to submit headlines themselves guaranteed to go green and are really unoriginal.

Oh I left out the one that says:

Fark Ready Headline: " ... "

Ballsy ozzies

/gotta love "em

I would have squashed him. Right in the old melon!

Came for Teal'c.

Leaving disappointed.

Gimme the cash!!!

I bet that a hail of durian would be painful.

Couldn't they have waited till Det. Cobretti got there??

1nsanilicious: Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:

News: ... Not News: .. Fark:

Some shiat happens do you c) ...

Ugly ass animal born here are some pictures

mother/Father of the year award goes to...

Retarded headline returns with repeatative redundancy

Doing something stupid is no way to go through life.

Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

Who forces you to come here?

I go to a website and don't like the the comments. Should I A)go someplace else B)Submit your own comments C)Cry like a little girl?

c.) bring him down with a hail of vegetables?


FRUIT ATTAA-A-A-A-CK!!

*blam*
*blam*
*blam*
*ratatatatatatat*

*fruit throwers retreat*



"It's all right, Andy. It's just Bolognese!"

Being carrotted is a horrible way to die.

youtook: 1nsanilicious: Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:

News: ... Not News: .. Fark:

Some shiat happens do you c) ...

Ugly ass animal born here are some pictures

mother/Father of the year award goes to...

Retarded headline returns with repeatative redundancy

Doing something stupid is no way to go through life.

Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

Who forces you to come here?

I go to a website and don't like the the comments. Should I A)go someplace else B)Submit your own comments C)Cry like a little girl?

Old and Busted: your post. New Hotness: This is Fark so what do you think will happen.

1nsanilicious: Can we get new headline styles please?

I find it hard to believe that out of the many headline submissions that the very few selected to go live are always in the form of:

News: ... Not News: .. Fark:

Some shiat happens do you c) ...

Ugly ass animal born here are some pictures

mother/Father of the year award goes to...

Retarded headline returns with repeatative redundancy

Doing something stupid is no way to go through life.

Please, no more of the afore mentioned headlines.

---------------------------------------------------------

*Yawn*

If this is "biatch about a Fark cliche day", here my two cents' worth:

Maybe the TF'ers could do something about not approving any link with the following incredibly repetitive cliches?

- Your dog wants '(fill in the blank)'
- Duke sucks
- yada, yada, yada... Here comes the science (or whatever)
- You submitted this with a funnier headline
- Hilarity (or Jailarity, etc) ensues

Really.

I mean really, really. It is possible to come up with a creative headline without using these really worn out cliches. On the other hand, seeings as these seem to almost guarantee the link will be accepted...

---------------------------------------------------------

Just so you know what you're up against, there, the second quote is from a HA! HA! Guy thread that ran its course way back in 2005. You might want to start out with some more easily winnable campaign, like maybe against the tides, or continental drift.

d. ruin $2 of store inventory for every $1 that would have been stolen.