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(Grand Forks Herald)   What the North Dakota Legislature did from A to Z. "Bikini waxing" is in the B's   (grandforks.com) divider line 58
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9100 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2003 at 5:01 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-04-27 02:12:27 PM
Ralph: The $100 million hockey arena that UND benefactor Ralph Engelstad built in Grand Forks should carry his name, the Legislature decided. The building is already called the Ralph Engelstad Arena, but the name's placement in state law will make it more difficult to change later.

I don't think "benefactor" covers that. Then again, if you are stuck in ND and have $100 million to blow, what else are you going to spend it on?
D
 
2003-04-27 04:00:38 PM
Wow, $2,000 fine for giving someone a computer virus. I hope no one that uses Kazaa lives in North Dakota, or I could be in some deep shiat.
 
2003-04-27 05:03:56 PM
one of my best friends lives in north dakota. she's getting tired of me telling her "man, go look at fark again. more grand forks news. your state sucks! bwhahaha."
 
2003-04-27 05:05:33 PM
so wait, was it illeagle to have a bikkini wax before 2003? would they arrest you? NOrth dakota blows, and duke sucks.
 
2003-04-27 05:06:57 PM
I stopped reading after "A"

"Alcohol: Proposals to allow liquor, wine and beer sales on Thanksgiving Day, and to extend bar closing time from 1 a.m. to 2 a.m., were defeated."

Bastards.
 
2003-04-27 05:06:57 PM
Raccoons: Raccoon hunters will be able to put another battery in their flashlights when stalking their prey. State law has limited flashlights to two batteries, with no more than four volts, when hunting raccoons. The change puts the power limit at six volts and eliminates the two-battery limit. One size "D" flashlight battery normally has 1.5 volts. Higher voltage equals brighter light.

WHAT? Someone please explain to me why they limit batteries in your flashlight.
 
2003-04-27 05:07:31 PM
Diplomas: It will be a crime to manufacture a fake college diploma, or use a diploma from an unaccredited college to get a job, a promotion or admission to a legitimate college. Making a fake diploma is a felony, while using one is a misdemeanor, punishable by a year in jail and a $2,000 fine.

Well, I guess North Dakota is now off of my list of states in which to create a fake diploma manufacturing concern for use in getting a job, promotion, or admission to a legitimate school.

My only hope now is to get Breast Inspectors University accredited somehow.
 
2003-04-27 05:08:54 PM
$2000 and a year in jail for giving someone a computer virus,
good,maybe this will stop all the assholes that insist on emailing everyone everything they ever see,ever.
Kunts.
 
2003-04-27 05:09:19 PM
What, they didn't do anything beginning with "U"?
 
2003-04-27 05:09:20 PM
Raccoons: Raccoon hunters will be able to put another battery in their flashlights when stalking their prey. State law has limited flashlights to two batteries, with no more than four volts, when hunting raccoons. The change puts the power limit at six volts and eliminates the two-battery limit. One size "D" flashlight battery normally has 1.5 volts. Higher voltage equals brighter light.


Oh, dear God...
 
2003-04-27 05:12:27 PM
Irockalot:

I would rather know why people are hunting raccoons in the first place, let alone why you shouldn't be able to see what you are hunting.
 
2003-04-27 05:14:29 PM
You might still be able to get a little money for raccoon fur...but it's probably mostly just for fun now.

I guess the lighting is to prevent an unfair advantage for the hunter...like limiting the use of bait or dogs to hunt bear.
 
2003-04-27 05:18:22 PM
Drunken driving: North Dakota's legal blood-alcohol limit for driving is scheduled to drop from 0.10 percent to 0.08 percent on Aug. 1, although the legislation is the target of a referral drive. DUI offenders with greatly elevated blood-alcohol levels also face longer license suspensions. Someone who tests at 0.18 percent or higher, for example, will have his or her license suspended for six months instead of the current three.

Wish I had drunken driven here :(
 
2003-04-27 05:19:37 PM
E-mail: North Dakota senders of commercial e-mail are barred from including false or misleading information in the subject line. Solicitations must include the abbreviation ADV, for advertisement, as the first letters of the subject line. Advertisements for pornography must begin with ADV-ADULT.

Now, why can't the other 49 states pass this law as well? Alright, I know it won't cut down on spam from outside the US, but at least it would cut down on the crap we get from inside the country.
 
2003-04-27 05:22:08 PM
04-27-03 05:09:19 PM MisterBagelbutt
What, they didn't do anything beginning with "U"?

Uhaul - what to use to get the hell out of the state.
 
2003-04-27 05:26:11 PM
Anti_Freak_Machine
I'm with you there, man. Of course, I don't live in Grand Forks... shiat I don't even live in the country! But I'm still with you there.
 
2003-04-27 05:30:39 PM
No Xs either. I feel cheated.
 
2003-04-27 05:32:58 PM
Credit cards: Starting Jan. 1, merchants will have restrictions on printing receipts that display a customer's entire credit-card number. Printers that are put into service after Jan. 1 must comply immediately. Merchants have until Jan. 1, 2007 to bring existing equipment into compliance. Handwritten receipts are exempted.

I wish they would pass a law like that in TEXAS. Someone tried to use my credit card no# and thankfully my bank found out before any money was moved from my account.Not that Im rich or anything, but its my money , not theirs.
Anyway, I think a chinese rest. i eat at, shows the full cc# on their receipt. Its just speculation, but it makes me wonder
 
2003-04-27 05:35:58 PM
Raccoons: Raccoon hunters will be able to put another battery in their flashlights when stalking their prey. State law has limited flashlights to two batteries, with no more than four volts, when hunting raccoons. The change puts the power limit at six volts and eliminates the two-battery limit. One size "D" flashlight battery normally has 1.5 volts. Higher voltage equals brighter light.


Well, I guess Jerry Clower will be happy.....
 
2003-04-27 05:47:01 PM
Here's an X for ya: X-ray machines cannot be used to hunt racoons.
 
2003-04-27 05:49:40 PM
Duck hunting: A license that allowed out-of-state hunters to hunt ducks statewide for seven days has been abolished. Visiting hunters still may buy a seven-day license that allows them to hunt in as many as two of North Dakota's three hunting zones.

???
 
2003-04-27 05:51:03 PM
A better X:
eX-residents of North Dakota outnumber current residents. No jobs, no entertainment, and too damn cold.
 
2003-04-27 05:53:30 PM
Totally off-topic, but what's up with that "Matrix Boycott" banner?? I doubt Farkers are the target audience for this :) I'd write it off as satire if it were witty or funny or entertaining in any way, but it's not...
 
2003-04-27 05:56:21 PM
Clevershark
Did you actually click on that banner? It's worth a laugh reading all that...

The Matrix Murders

The first film killed 13 students at Columbine High School, blah blah blah...


Yeah, exactly.
 
2003-04-27 05:56:45 PM
MysticWolf I was at a brew pub in Hood River this winter and their receipts had full card number, name, expiration date, and address on them. Let's just say that isn't something any establishment should be handing out on a slip of paper handled by a service-industry employee (or anyone else for that matter). Especially in a location dedicated to impairing your judgement.
 
2003-04-27 05:58:52 PM
clevershark, by the aaliyah thing i knew it must be satire, it just isn't that good....
 
2003-04-27 06:02:09 PM
Ugh... stupid Grand Forks Herald. As a resident of this fine city, I'm ashamed that articles from this rag keep getting posted. We're really not all crazy, gun-toteing, bikini-waxing, hockey loving weirdos.

Now if you excuse me, I'm done with work now and have to get home on my snowmobile.
 
2003-04-27 06:06:34 PM
J-po well don't feel bad. My town only gets Fark headlines for topless car washes and arrested terrorist suspects.
 
2003-04-27 06:07:56 PM
Wow...theyre speeding tickets are cheap...at least compared to where I live in Texas. (ie: 100+ for 5mph over the speed limit)
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2003-04-27 06:08:14 PM
State_College_Arsonist:

Several other states already have anti-spam laws requiring an "ADV:" in the subject line and/or real contact information in the body.

Do people in California or Washington get any less spam than the rest of us?
 
2003-04-27 06:09:53 PM
Ouch. I don't know Idaho tickets, but WA are $50 for 5 over, $76 for 13 over, $162 for 23 over...not sure how the laws break down. I just know because of a recent incident being stopped for 13 over and having the officer lie and write the ticket for 23 over.
 
2003-04-27 06:10:41 PM
This was all on the freeway BTW...where it went from 70 to 55 in the middle of nowhere. So I'm not that reckless.
 
2003-04-27 06:11:12 PM
TheFlyingDutchman check out


 
2003-04-27 06:11:20 PM
Sidi

Hmmm... its probably better that we don't have terrorists. But I'd kill for one of those topless car-washes. All we have are meth-labs, sugar beat refineries, and banks that get robbed. And I guarentee if you go to the Grand Forks Herald website front page each day, you will see a story about one of the above-mentioned topics.

I so need to get out of this damned state.
 
2003-04-27 06:12:59 PM
Sadly, the topless car washes are no more. The city council finally managed to kill them.

But, we're probably one of the few towns that had boobies at a city council meeting (in protest of what they were trying to do).
 
2003-04-27 06:14:10 PM
http://cartalk.cars.com/Mail/Haus/09-19-97-1.html

how do I make that link work? I did <A href="http://cartalk.cars.com/Mail/Haus/09-19-97-1.html">. Someone help?

/neophyte
 
2003-04-27 06:20:28 PM
Diplomas: It will be a crime to manufacture a fake college diploma, or use a diploma from an unaccredited college to get a job, a promotion or admission to a legitimate college. Making a fake diploma is a felony, while using one is a misdemeanor, punishable by a year in jail and a $2,000 fine.

Darned good job. I'm sick of people with all these 'fake' qualifications.

Lucky Eddie BSc, BA, MSc, BPharm, PhD, FARK
 
2003-04-27 06:42:01 PM
Motel tax: Starting in July, motel room bills will carry a 1 percent state tax, which is intended to raise $2.9 million for out-of-state marketing of the Lewis and Clark bicentennial celebration

I would think that they'd have to use the $2.9 million to pay people from out of state to visit for this celebration... NoDak is one of those states that has 3 more electoral votes than they deserve.
 
2003-04-27 06:53:21 PM
JovianCricket
The "a href" part is correct; after that, you have to type some kind of text and then close the tag with <a>.
 
2003-04-27 06:53:59 PM
Uhh.. that's </a>...
 
2003-04-27 07:08:59 PM
As noted earlier, there are no new 'U' laws...hmm...you would think if they had enough time to regulate the battery quantity for raccoon hunting, they would certainly address the issue of usury.
But maybe that's just me. :-)
 
2003-04-27 08:21:25 PM
My favorite was M is for Methemphedamine.
 
2003-04-27 08:25:24 PM
Didn't The Matrix come out after the columbine shootings?
 
2003-04-27 08:36:57 PM
that article had a great potential for being very boring and i'm quite disappointed that it actually managed to hold my attention for a while. seems some worthwhile laws are actually making up a small part of the statue somewhere on the planet for a while. neat.

but... what the hell... if you're .18 blood alcohol (which is pretty high, say 4 or 5 beers) it's just a 3 month suspension?
in britain .10 (or was it .8) is a year ban, and you have to take the test again after extra tuition. in germany, you'd be sans auto for life.

matrix boycott.. fairly amusing for the way it started out looking like a genuine, typical borderline rabid rant blaming some generic action flick/bit of rock and roll/etc for all of society's ills (how about the hoods that never saw it then.. jack the ripper never watched the matrix or listened to manson), and gradually went totally insane and 'this has got to be a parody.. hasnt it?'
not funny in it's intended way though.

that it's on "www.pointlesswasteoftime.com" should be a clue.
 
2003-04-27 08:48:06 PM
dude.

you know it's bad when the homework you were doing was more entertaining than the fark article you read in order to procrastinate frwom said homework.
 
2003-04-27 09:06:12 PM
Good point Eddy. Give me my sex, drugs, and rock and roll any day.
 
2003-04-27 09:11:21 PM
Sad But True:

Check out the docket for any state's legislature, and you'll find similar silliness...

It ain't just Ashcroft and the Feds: even these state-level Bozos won't be happy until they can regulate how many breaths you take, how many babies you make, how many cakes you bake (insert Sting riff here)
 
2003-04-27 09:59:41 PM
You all realize that by reading this article, you are now registered voters in the State of North Dakota?
 
2003-04-27 10:04:01 PM
I am stationed in ND, and let me tell you what a drag it is having last call at 12:30 on a Saturday night. This place sucks.

DUKE ROCKS!!!
 
2003-04-27 10:21:26 PM
Raccoons: Raccoon hunters will be able to put another battery in their flashlights when stalking their prey. State law has limited flashlights to two batteries, with no more than four volts, when hunting raccoons. The change puts the power limit at six volts and eliminates the two-battery limit. One size "D" flashlight battery normally has 1.5 volts. Higher voltage equals brighter light.

What the fark!?
 
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