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(Redline)   "My name is Ulrich Haarburste and I like to write stories about Roy Orbison being wrapped up in cling-film."   (michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Weird  
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4615 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2003 at 9:30 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-04-27 01:51:03 PM  
Roy Orbison. Man he was ugly but the man could sing.
 
2003-04-27 02:13:34 PM  
Covered in plasic wrap?? aaaaaaoooooowwwwwwwwww!!!

I think I have a turtle-head pokin' Out
 
eps
2003-04-27 02:37:45 PM  
seems perfectly normal to me.
 
2003-04-27 02:55:36 PM  
Roy stands. 'Commence.'
I start at the ankles and work up. I am like a spider binding him in my gossamer web. I do it tight with several layers. Soon Roy Orbison stands before me, completely wrapped in cling-film. The pleasure is unexampled.
'You are completely wrapped in cling-film,' I say.


David Lynch, is that you?
 
2003-04-27 03:13:45 PM  
The only other person to notice it was ZygoticMynciBoy, but this was clearly ripped off of Something Awful's Awful Link of the Day.

Bah.
 
2003-04-27 03:18:59 PM  
bah! i submitted this DAYS ago and was told no thanks. oh well my headline sucked anyways.
 
2003-04-27 04:05:22 PM  
To get serious for a moment, Michael Kelly died in Iraq. It is interesting to think that this venerated reporter had such a funny side to him.

RIP.
 
2003-04-27 04:08:03 PM  
For anyone who wants to know, "Haarbrste" means hairbrush in German, so the name translate to Ulrich Hairbrush.

/useless fact
 
2003-04-27 04:11:21 PM  
But if you switch the and the R in his name, you get Haarbrste, which means hairbreasts. Now THAT is something!
 
2003-04-27 04:12:14 PM  
But if you switch the u and the
 
2003-04-27 04:15:22 PM  
What's happened to Wuzupperson? Has there been another terrorist attack?
 
2003-04-27 04:27:35 PM  
My German keyboard was trying to get back for typing German letters!
 
2003-04-27 04:30:43 PM  
By the way, RandomBob, nice bio... did you make the error loop yourself?? ;-)
 
2003-04-27 04:50:12 PM  
I love his essay on Why I hate the Internet. The best part is:

'Here is my gerbil, Gross Domestic Product of Brazil.'
 
2003-04-27 04:50:59 PM  
Nah, it just does that for some reason. Ask Drew why he's mixing SQL Server and perl.
 
2003-04-27 05:04:30 PM  
And what was supposed to be in you bio, then?
 
2003-04-27 05:34:17 PM  
I don't think Ulrich is a real guy because Haarburste is german for hairbrush. Not a very likely german nachname.

*shrug*
Not everyone uses their real last name on the internet. It's not very likely anybody he associates himself with knows he does this.
 
2003-04-27 05:51:35 PM  
The pleasure is unexampled
 
2003-04-27 08:42:12 PM  
Mama doesn't know that I have a tattoo of Roy Orbison on my ass. What mama don't know, won't hurt her.
 
2003-04-27 10:52:40 PM  
the funniest article of michael kelly's is the one on the "secret" page, there is a single underscore that links to a blank page at the end of the list of articles, press ctrl A to show the text... or just click here... read Archbishop

John Major pushed his way through the throng that had gathered.
.."All right," he said, "what's going on?"
.."They attacked me," Clinton wailed, hauling himself shakily to his feet.
.."He started it, John," I said. "And His Grace had nothing to do with it."
.. "He punched me for no reason," whined Clinton, "and then the faggot in the dress," - this in reference to the Archbishop's episcopal regalia - "hit me with his stick."
"Dress?!" snarled the Archbishop, straining against the arms holding him, his face contorted with rage. "You fat shiathouse, if I'd hit you you'd still be on the farking deck."


i piss myself laughing every time i read this story. ANd it got me into The Pixies
 
2003-04-27 11:16:56 PM  
-Hoyab

In the internet neighborhood, Fark is like the corny soccer mom who's still doing the macarena..

Of course I am a member here, so what does that say about me... eh, least I don't pay for it?
 
2003-04-28 12:43:12 AM  
Wrap your head in Cling Wrap.
 
2003-04-28 04:45:56 AM  
This is so laaaame!

I read this five days ago on my favorite blog, then four days ago I saw the link on seventy three of my other favorite blogs, then three days ago I saw the same damned link over on Something Awful, and then I found it on three hundred and twelve other blogs I read frequently, then it's on Memepool and then it's on Fark!

Geeze, Fark, you need a life.

...like me.
 
2003-04-28 08:12:02 AM  
This completely ruins my idea of making a website full of stories about Johnny Cash wrapped up in aluminum foil.
 
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