Cue the Onion video...

/ Marine DIs everywhere snicker
//hopes gerbil training isn't next

Makes you a crack-shot as a thermal image gunner, though.

CPT Ethanolic: I wonder if they're going to change the APFT. Every army doc keeps telling us to limit our running - yet that's the main focus of the damned PT test! I would be happy to see a change, because when you're 200+ lbs, running 4-5 days/week takes a toll on the knees over the years.

Yep, my knees are garbage now.

UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

Or just charge into rooms swinging a knife.

Figure out a way to train them to respawn.

CPT Ethanolic: I wonder if they're going to change the APFT. Every army doc keeps telling us to limit our running - yet that's the main focus of the damned PT test! I would be happy to see a change, because when you're 200+ lbs, running 4-5 days/week takes a toll on the knees over the years.

That's what the article said. New training will be more gym/strength/agility based.

I thought they were going to switch to training their soldiers with Call of Duty: Modern Warfare because they wanted to increase enrollment numbers.

UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

and they will all be able to carry Barrett .50cal's and fire them from the hip.

Can't they just add the Marathon perk to all classes?

Sherjo311: UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

and they will all be able to carry Barrett .50cal's and fire them from the hip.

...and 2 desert eagles

They did not talk about the fight club... Good.

CPT Ethanolic: I would be happy to see a change, because when you're 200+ lbs, running 4-5 days/week takes a toll on the knees over the years.

hell, my knees still hurt just from running 4 days last week.

although there was a ski day in there too.

Teknowaffle: As a 6'3 190 lb guy leaving for basic in early august, I am most pleased.

I can sprint like hell for short distances, but long runs kill me.

As someone at meps once told me, "In combat you'll probably never have to run 5 miles in a half hour, but you might have to run 1/4 mile really fast."

You mean that new recruits won't learn "What makes the grass grow!?!" or "What makes the grass grow green?!?"

Teknowaffle

As a 6'3 190 lb guy leaving for basic in early august, I am most pleased.

6'3 & 190 lb? you got to be skinny as hell.

but what the f*ck is AOL news? really?

Too bad they weren't doing this a few years ago. My friend's son spine has been destroyed from 2 deployments carrying 80 pounds on his back, not to mention his knees are trashed...oh yeah, and the bullet that went through his hip. He's being medically discharged this month...

Maybe a fitter Army will give my own Navy son pause to make fun of the fatties they've been known to produce so many of. Probably not.

My knees hurt just thinking about running.

Sherjo311: UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

and they will all be able to carry Barrett .50cal's and fire them from the hip.

One of the dumbest parts of the game.

j__z: Teknowaffle

As a 6'3 190 lb guy leaving for basic in early august, I am most pleased.

6'3 & 190 lb? you got to be skinny as hell.

That's thin, but not that skinny. When my grandpa joined the marines, he was 6'3" and 130lbs. I'm not kidding.

This Looks Fun: Sherjo311: UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

and they will all be able to carry Barrett .50cal's and fire them from the hip.

One of the dumbest parts of the game.

One piece of dumb in a sea of stupid. You know what? fark that game

hockeyfarker: but what the f*ck is AOL news? really?

You gotta go somewhere once someone links the story off of Google, Yahoo, and AP.

j__z: Teknowaffle

As a 6'3 190 lb guy leaving for basic in early august, I am most pleased.

6'3 & 190 lb? you got to be skinny as hell.

Not really. I'm maybe an inch shorter and five pounds heavier... not scrawny. I've got a friend who's 6'5" and weighs a little bit less than 200 pounds... now he is a skinny motherfarker.

In the Army, too, interestingly enough.

FTA: "Most of these soldiers have never been in a fistfight or any kind of a physical confrontation. They are stunned when they get smacked in the face," said Capt. Scott Sewell, overseeing almost 190 trainees in their third week of training. "We are trying to get them to act, to think like warriors."

Yup! Because most schools ban any kind of "boys will be boys" activity and raise them up to be like girls. We can't let our little snowflakes rough-house and tumble around and get banged up.

Oh yeah, and when we suspend or expel boys because (horrors) they draw figures with guns or play "army" or something imagining any kind of violence, we raise up a generation without the ability to physically defend itself. It isn't a fluke that in previous wars the kids who were the best shots, fighter aces, and all were country boys who grew up hunting and fishing and living in the wilderness.

They should just hire Tony Horton to give them all the ab ripping programs they'd ever need.

/loves me some ab ripper x

AssCobra77: This Looks Fun: Sherjo311: UberDave: The Army is going to train every soldier to noob tube or carry akimbo G18s/1887s.

and they will all be able to carry Barrett .50cal's and fire them from the hip.

One of the dumbest parts of the game.

One piece of dumb in a sea of stupid. You know what? fark that game

Yeah, your better off playing Quake Live. Totally free too :)

FTA On a recent training day Todd was spinning recruits around to give them the feel of rolling out of a tumbled Humvee.

...WTF? Who designed this shiat? Mr. Miyagi? How about instead of gimmicky bullshiat you just focus on a do-able foundation that emphasizes general fitness? There's a long way to go in emphasizing fundamental fitness before we get to stupid shiat like spin-drills to prepare the .01% of all soldiers who will experience a humvee roll-over in combat and be confused on vehicle egress.

How about the ability to just hoist yourself over an 8 foot wall with all your gear on (over...and over...and over... thanks Rutbah and walking long distances with about a 60 lb load. Constantly having to climb shiat and walk is applicable to Afghanistan and Iraq for almost everyone in a combat arms capacity.

//Unless you're a POG, then you can just practice carrying my water.

HMS_Blinkin: That's thin, but not that skinny. When my grandpa joined the marines, he was 6'3" and 130lbs. I'm not kidding.

Here's what 6' and 125lbs looks like.

Bayonet drills had continued for decades, even though soldiers no longer carry the blades on their automatic rifles. Hertling ordered the drills dropped.

That's f*cking stupid. Knowing how to kill someone with a knife is an important skill to have.

Also:

How about Segways with trailers?

HaywoodJablonski: Cue the Onion video...

Done. (new window)

keylock71
I wouldn't piss that guy off, he might snap.

as someone who is considering the military because I have no job prospects... already have B.S. under my belt so would be going in as officer type.

6'1 220, need to lose about 15 lbs to be the ratio of muscle to weight that I want.

NightOwl2255: HMS_Blinkin: That's thin, but not that skinny. When my grandpa joined the marines, he was 6'3" and 130lbs. I'm not kidding.

Here's what 6' and 125lbs looks like.

That guy's lost...he can't find the fridge.

It's behind you!

Molavian: Bayonet drills had continued for decades, even though soldiers no longer carry the blades on their automatic rifles. Hertling ordered the drills dropped.

That's f*cking stupid. Knowing how to kill someone with a knife is an important skill to have.

Also:

Bayonet training is not "knife fighting" training. I remember when I went through basic the bayonet skills and assault course was a joke.

If you want or need knife fighting there are courses they teach while you're in that you may attend or request.

60lbs? try 120

If real wars were like video games Audy Murphy would have been shot in the face by a thirteen year old standing 300 yards away with a pistol.

thatguyfred: Molavian: Bayonet drills had continued for decades, even though soldiers no longer carry the blades on their automatic rifles. Hertling ordered the drills dropped.

That's f*cking stupid. Knowing how to kill someone with a knife is an important skill to have.

Also:

Bayonet training is not "knife fighting" training. I remember when I went through basic the bayonet skills and assault course was a joke.

If you want or need knife fighting there are courses they teach while you're in that you may attend or request.

Of course being a Marine you would know that. I don't understand your argument then, perhaps the Marines bayonet training was quite different from the Army. Also during MCMAP you learn the basics of armed (knife) combat if I'm not mistaken. There are similar things in the Army, but its not required for everyone.

You mean all these guys don't get heart beat sensors, hack for super speed, and have care packages come out of the sky like it's raining?

Molavian: Bayonet drills had continued for decades, even though soldiers no longer carry the blades on their automatic rifles. Hertling ordered the drills dropped.

That's f*cking stupid. Knowing how to kill someone with a knife is an important skill to have.

Also:

I would think bayonet training and knife training are two different things, but wtf do I know.

Just train everyone how to use sentry guns or call in harriers, I'm sure we'll be fine.