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(Orlando Sentinel) Florida 300-pound "White Boy" calls Mom to tell her he left his coke stash at Spank's house. From jail   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 71
More: Florida, spankings, Polk County, Kissimmee, St. Cloud, St. Patrick's Day, ecstasy, cushion, Franco Mayernik  
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11844 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2010 at 9:50 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2010-03-16 09:52:49 PM
He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?
 
2010-03-16 09:53:04 PM
That's a special kind of stupid, right there
 
2010-03-16 09:53:25 PM
Close call for the FAIL tag, but FLORIDA is the trump card
 
2010-03-16 09:53:40 PM
snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

White boy stupid
 
2010-03-16 09:55:07 PM
Eaton / Dykes.
 
2010-03-16 09:58:12 PM
Did mom snort it all up before the Po-Po got a warrant?
 
2010-03-16 09:58:47 PM
That's a soapin in the mouth.....Son.
 
2010-03-16 10:01:35 PM
A 300lb white boy.

/no one to see this?
 
2010-03-16 10:02:14 PM
Link goes to the genius's mug shot & charges. Link (new window)
Yep, that guy is MENSA material.
 
2010-03-16 10:03:40 PM
Way to kick a guy when he's down, coppers.
 
2010-03-16 10:04:10 PM
Never talk to the police.

Wait...

What?
 
2010-03-16 10:05:10 PM
snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

Yeah, but I've seen an even more special kind of stupid.

Former roommate (the kiddie-porn enthusiast) was sitting in a cell awaiting trial for 20 counts of possession of child porn (which was a tiny fraction of what they COULD have charged him with, but the Judge said "eh, fark it, 200 years is enough"), and he not only corresponded with other kid-diddlers from his cell, but wrote stories about farking children while he was there.
 
2010-03-16 10:06:12 PM
Jaymi77: Link goes to the genius's mug shot & charges. Link (new window)
Yep, that guy is MENSA material.


oh lordy, if that was my son i wouldn't have even accepted his call. what is he, one of them juggalos?
 
2010-03-16 10:10:01 PM
300 pounds? Sounds like White Boy needs to do more of that coke...
 
2010-03-16 10:10:28 PM
Hello, Ma? I'm in jail.
Hello, Ma? I'm in jail.
I like it here.
Say 'Hi" to Spank...from jail.
 
2010-03-16 10:10:54 PM
snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

img529.imageshack.us
 
2010-03-16 10:12:41 PM
Hosebeatings: snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

Yeah, but I've seen an even more special kind of stupid.

Former roommate (the kiddie-porn enthusiast) was sitting in a cell awaiting trial for 20 counts of possession of child porn (which was a tiny fraction of what they COULD have charged him with, but the Judge said "eh, fark it, 200 years is enough"), and he not only corresponded with other kid-diddlers from his cell, but wrote stories about farking children while he was there.


Maybe no one ever talked to you about choosing friends wisely.
 
2010-03-16 10:16:54 PM
"METHAQUALONE", talk about a trip on the way back machine.

I didn't think quaaludes existed anymore.
 
2010-03-16 10:17:31 PM
Hosebeatings: snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

Yeah, but I've seen an even more special kind of stupid.

Former roommate (the kiddie-porn enthusiast) was sitting in a cell awaiting trial for 20 counts of possession of child porn (which was a tiny fraction of what they COULD have charged him with, but the Judge said "eh, fark it, 200 years is enough"), and he not only corresponded with other kid-diddlers from his cell, but wrote stories about farking children while he was there.


not that i condone this sort of thing, but I'm looking at that story and see that dude got 200 hundred years for kiddie porn. yeah roast his ass, but hell, why should he give a damn at that point. if the prison is giving him a ways and meens to contact and distribute, thats the prisons problem. guy is serving a multiple life sentence, and forbid he is released, hes going on be hardcore on the registry so what does it matter?

as far as I'm concerenced? if dude is a 200 year convicted kiddy diddler.. let him talk to kiddie diddlers on the outside, if all his shiat is monitored, then all the better to catch more kiddie diddlers.
 
2010-03-16 10:19:05 PM
What's the matter with you people? You make cruel comments about a persons looks? Did you ever think that maybe its people like you who caused this person's problems? What kind of website is this where people get kicks out making fun of other people?
 
2010-03-16 10:20:40 PM
Bgnome: as far as I'm concerenced? if dude is a 200 year convicted kiddy diddler.. let him talk to kiddie diddlers on the outside, if all his shiat is monitored, then all the better to catch more kiddie diddlers.

Absolutely. Still monumentally stupid on his part though.

/he wound up only getting 80 after the plea bargain
 
2010-03-16 10:21:34 PM
shanrick: What's the matter with you people? You make cruel comments about a persons looks? Did you ever think that maybe its people like you who caused this person's problems? What kind of website is this where people get kicks out making fun of other people?

nice one. that made me lol, thanks!
 
2010-03-16 10:22:10 PM
shanrick: What's the matter with you people? You make cruel comments about a persons looks? Did you ever think that maybe its people like you who caused this person's problems? What kind of website is this where people get kicks out making fun of other people?


Ha! Open TFD and submit your profile pic for scrutiny.
 
2010-03-16 10:24:46 PM
Sounds like the whole family are drug dealing scumbags who need to be locked up, every asset seized, and their bank accounts raped.

/just sayin.
 
2010-03-16 10:26:55 PM
Jaymi77: Link goes to the genius's mug shot & charges. Link (new window)
Yep, that guy is MENSA material.


did anyone else notice the killing of a police horse in his charges?

//he's a fish
 
2010-03-16 10:29:21 PM
EviLincoln: "METHAQUALONE", talk about a trip on the way back machine.

I didn't think quaaludes existed anymore.


I heard they're only widely available on the street in South Africa.

/I heard they call it "cat food" in Click-Pop-Ooga-Booga or whatever
 
2010-03-16 10:37:18 PM
Bit'O'Gristle: Sounds like the whole family are drug dealing scumbags who need to be locked up, every asset seized, and their bank accounts raped.

/just sayin.


This attitude is a complete surprise coming from you.
How's that job search going?
 
2010-03-16 10:40:26 PM
AbbeySomeone: Bit'O'Gristle: Sounds like the whole family are drug dealing scumbags who need to be locked up, every asset seized, and their bank accounts raped.

/just sayin.

This attitude is a complete surprise coming from you.
How's that job search going?


Actually over now..just havent updated the site, because i enjoy getting trolled by jackasses like you.
 
2010-03-16 10:43:44 PM
Advice of the day:

beware of coke dealers that call you from jail.

/freebie
 
2010-03-16 10:43:47 PM
snowcircle: That's a special kind of stupid, right there

He runs in a circle of stupid:

The residents, Christopher "Spank" Eaton and Alexandria Dykes, welcomed deputies to try their luck.

"Sure, come in and search whatever you want," Dykes told them ... Nothing was hidden in the couch, but deputies asked to search the rest of the house after they found four Ecstasy pills next to the living room TV. The roommates agreed, but Dykes first wanted to remove her dog from a bedroom, the report stated.

"I looked inside and observed Dykes removing two bags of cocaine from a shoe," a detective wrote. "Eaton spontaneously stated, 'Look, man, I am sorry we lied to you. ... Franco has never done anything for me so I figured I would just go to Polk County and sell this to make some money."



*facepalm*
 
2010-03-16 10:43:48 PM
Excen: I heard they're only widely available on the street in South Africa.

No kidding? I thought those went out with disco.
 
2010-03-16 10:44:14 PM
He'll be layin' down the boogie and playin' that funky music till he dies.
 
2010-03-16 10:51:28 PM
Oh Spanks, you rapscallion you!
 
2010-03-16 10:51:48 PM
theorellior: He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?

No, only because you're part Eggplant.
 
2010-03-16 10:52:30 PM
ALL RIGHT, CRACKER THREAD!!!!!

blog.rv.net



images.jupiterimages.com

www.chevychasecentral.com
(I so wish I could find a better pic of Chevy Chase lost in the 'hood.)
 
2010-03-16 10:53:27 PM
This is a great prank to pull from jail. Just drop the names of people you don't like in conversations on the phones in relation to drugs or whatever you're being incarcerated for.

Now, the question has to be can the media tell the prank from the idiots? I can't.
 
2010-03-16 10:54:01 PM
"'Powder' is street terminology for cocaine."



Wow. Who woulda thunk it?
 
2010-03-16 10:55:26 PM
300 pound cokehead. FAIL
 
2010-03-16 10:57:40 PM
shanrick: What's the matter with you people? You make cruel comments about a persons looks? Did you ever think that maybe its people like you who caused this person's problems? What kind of website is this where people get kicks out making fun of other people?

Awesome.
 
2010-03-16 11:05:03 PM
www.fotothing.com
 
2010-03-16 11:05:41 PM
i154.photobucket.com

This Joel (MST3K) ihl-ihl-ihl moment brought to you by 300 lb white boys.
 
2010-03-16 11:06:48 PM
FTA: "Franco told his mother he left two ounces of powder in the cushion on the couch. 'Powder' is street terminology for cocaine."

This is just awesome.

Thanks, officer!
 
2010-03-16 11:07:24 PM
www.StuffWhitePeopleLike.com is such a great source of knowledge.

Example: (Quote) Ed Hardy is a clothing company that makes a wide range of expensive t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. These clothes are notable for their use of elements from classic tattoo design such as skulls, hearts, and dragons. On the surface, the use of the words "classic" "tattoo" and "t-shirt" would seem like a logical fit for white people, but it is not. White people hate these clothes unilaterally and it is advised that you merely accept that at face value. If you were to ask a white person to explain why a regular size dragon logo is ok but one that goes around the neck is not, you would be trapped in a long and fruitless conversation.

To put this in proper perspective, Ed Hardy is so hated by white people that it cannot be worn ironically. This is no small feat. As it stands, the only other entries in this category are Nazi Uniforms, Ku Klux Klan Robes, and self-tanner. (End quote)

www.dvorak.org
 
2010-03-16 11:07:29 PM
i306.photobucket.com">
 
2010-03-16 11:10:45 PM
Constable Tom, what is the deal with the dead dude photo? Talk about buzzkill! WTF.
 
2010-03-16 11:11:55 PM
Sorry. I calls 'em as I see 'em.
 
2010-03-16 11:12:24 PM
shanrick-
r u a psychologist by any chance?
 
2010-03-16 11:13:51 PM
theorellior: He must have thought it was white boy day. It ain't white boy day, is it?

fasterthantheworld.com

Nah, Boss. It ain't white boy day.
 
2010-03-16 11:19:09 PM
awwwwwwWWWWW JEAH!!!


www.steevven1.com
 
2010-03-16 11:24:12 PM
Jaymi77: Link goes to the genius's mug shot & charges. Link (new window)
Yep, that guy is MENSA material.


*checks charge sheet...*

"INJURE/KILL POLICE DOG/HORSE,"

img300.imageshack.uswat
 
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