If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AOL News) Unlikely Ever have a teacher who kept chewing your ear off? Probably not like this   (aolnews.com) divider line 43
More: Unlikely, snacks, drunk, teachers, diners, St. Paul Pioneer Press  
•       •       •

9951 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2010 at 10:47 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



43 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
gopher321 [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 08:55:58 PM
So this woman was in a restaurant, probably with family or friends, had too much to drink and assaulted this guy.

At what point in the story does the fact she's a teacher become relevant? It could have been a waitress, a company CEO, a sewer inspector, or a pole dancer...wtf?

Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?
 
rcain
2010-03-16 09:16:59 PM
"The complaint says the suspect approached the group of men, licked the victim's ear, then bit off part of it."

Or to paraphrase: He had a boner, but she ated it.
 
EighthundredmillionthFarker
2010-03-16 10:53:10 PM
Heeeeyyyyyyyy!

img191.imageshack.us
 
EviLincoln [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 10:54:05 PM
I would hazard a guess she was drunk.
 
dark_canuckistani
2010-03-16 10:56:08 PM
img.photobucket.com

Amateur.

/Anti-Semite!
 
EighthundredmillionthFarker
2010-03-16 10:58:06 PM
dark_canuckistani: Amateur.

/Anti-Semite!

You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.
 
UsikFark
2010-03-16 11:06:20 PM
EighthundredmillionthFarker: You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car.

Do you see this? This is what happens when you bite a stranger's ear!
 
snake_beater
2010-03-16 11:08:03 PM
First thing I thought of:

tvtropes.org

/stupid image is burned into my head
 
snake_beater
2010-03-16 11:09:39 PM
Oh, bloody hell!

img11.imageshack.us
 
RandomAxe [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:12:06 PM
Bah. When I was a kid, teachers used to eat our ears on a regular basis, for minor infractions!

I had three ears eaten by my Second Grade teacher on the last day before summer vacation, and I didn't cry about it, you better believe me.
 
Marcintosh
2010-03-16 11:14:04 PM
when she attacked the man at the Uptowner about 4 a.m. Sunday.

Aint nuthin good gonna happen after the bars close son.


Experience allows me to tell you . . .*shudder*
 
bugmn99
2010-03-16 11:14:53 PM
Not me. Actually, I was always up the teacher's ass.
 
sgnilward [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:16:57 PM
Teacher in question...

media2.myfoxtwincities.com

Hot like her cold sores
 
Satanic_Hamster
2010-03-16 11:19:25 PM
Damn, was hoping she was crazy hot.
 
sgnilward [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:20:19 PM
Satanic_Hamster: Damn, was hoping she was crazy hot.

Nope, just batshiat crazy
 
UsikFark
2010-03-16 11:21:23 PM
sgnilward: Teacher in question...

media2.myfoxtwincities.com

Hot like her cold sores

that image makes my eyes water
 
HumbleGenius
2010-03-16 11:22:51 PM
Who hasn't wanted to go for a bite after the bars close?
 
Clete Orris
2010-03-16 11:23:50 PM
She looks high. Perhaps it was the munchies that made her do it?
 
a4dzac [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:25:39 PM
gopher321: Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?

Why do journalists feel the need to mention that it was an SUV that clipped some drunk as he drunkenly walked home in the middle of the road one night? Do you think they would have said a "small, fuel-efficient sedan"? It's all about the story.
 
reillan
2010-03-16 11:28:01 PM
gopher321: Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?

Maybe they think we'll be understanding, since any of us who became teachers would be crazy, too.
 
Clete Orris
2010-03-16 11:30:07 PM
a4dzac: Why do journalists feel the need to mention that it was an SUV that clipped some drunk tree at the end of the driveway as he drunkenly walked home in the middle of the road fled from his outraged cuckolded wife, who was wielding his nine iron one night? Do you think they would have said a "small, fuel-efficient sedan"? It's all about the story pussy.
 
LesserEvil [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:41:22 PM
Wow... more details in the local paper:

Link (new window)

Why would anybody let her near enough to their face to bite their ear, let alone allow them to lick it in the first place? She's one rough looking 30 year old.

Also bonus: The reporter called the school about the arrest, and it was the first they had heard about it. That's a real newsmaking reporter, right there!
 
Scruffinator
2010-03-16 11:47:45 PM
From LesserEvils link, C.R.H. was treated by a plastic surgeon at a hospital and told that some of the ear would grow back.

I can't find the picture(my google-fu is weak), but you all know the Simpsons I'm thinking of...
 
Pumpernickel bread
2010-03-16 11:50:56 PM
My daddy ate my eyes
 
HumbleGenius
2010-03-16 11:52:25 PM
gopher321: Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?

Probably because she's in a position of trust. If someone who's watching your kid is capable of serious violence, you'd probably want to know about it.
 
Nightjars
2010-03-16 11:53:44 PM
Om nom nom
 
UsikFark
2010-03-16 11:53:59 PM
Scruffinator: ear would grow back

Yeah, about that... Unless the dude is some kind of gecko-based super hero.
 
ferfer72
2010-03-16 11:55:18 PM
I've said it before, and I say it again:

Teaching middle school can drive you batshiat.

/Middle school teacher
 
Dwedit
2010-03-16 11:59:59 PM
img267.imageshack.us
Amateurs.
 
WelldeadLink
2010-03-17 12:17:04 AM
Maybe she should teach that 11-year-old that hasn't figured out that fire is hot.
 
Ebert
2010-03-17 12:20:02 AM
I guess ears weren't on the menu that early in the morning.
 
John_David_Stutts
2010-03-17 12:36:22 AM
From LesserEvil's link:
As they left, one of C.R.H.'s friends told police, he saw Mwarabu pick up the piece of C.R.H.'s ear from the floor and put it in her mouth, according to the complaint.

oh cool, they have to-go orders too
 
Danger Avoid Death
2010-03-17 01:08:43 AM
FTFA: The complaint says the suspect approached the group of men, licked the victim's ear, then bit off part of it.

Foreplay gives her the munchies.
 
Max Awesome
2010-03-17 01:59:49 AM
Pumpernickel bread: My daddy ate my eyes

I want that on a t-shirt.
 
Mija
2010-03-17 02:12:22 AM
gopher321: Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?

It's relevant because this psycho has no business being around children. She's obviously mentally unstable.
 
Danger Avoid Death
2010-03-17 02:13:56 AM
Mija: gopher321: Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?

It's relevant because this psycho has no business being around children. She's obviously mentally unstable.

You've just listed the prime requisite for becoming a teacher.
 
kbokc
2010-03-17 02:35:26 AM
the pic of the old man in the ad next to the article is hi-larious!
 
NotATFer
2010-03-17 03:26:41 AM
She should be sentenced to go 12 rounds against Tyson... with both of them in straight jackets and covered in ketchup.

/Winner gets the doggy bag
 
praxis44241
2010-03-17 04:07:27 AM
There was a subcontractor at one of my job sites that got drunk, got into a fight, and the other guy bit off both of his nipples.
I didn't buy the story one bit.
Until he showed me.

/Didn't sleep for three days.
 
Danger Avoid Death
2010-03-17 04:15:24 AM
praxis44241: There was a subcontractor at one of my job sites that got drunk, got into a fight, and the other guy bit off both of his nipples.
I didn't buy the story one bit.
Until he showed me.

/Didn't sleep for three days.

www.frontrowking.com

Thinks it must have been the work of two beavers.
 
Hoarf
2010-03-17 06:20:26 AM
From the local paper:
"As they left, one of C.R.H.'s friends told police, he saw Mwarabu pick up the piece of C.R.H.'s ear from the floor and put it in her mouth, according to the complaint" Link (new window)
So she bit a hunk of his ear off, spit it on the dirty diner floor, then decided she liked the taste after all? Damn.
 
Ebert
2010-03-17 06:36:22 AM
Hoarf: From the local paper:
"As they left, one of C.R.H.'s friends told police, he saw Mwarabu pick up the piece of C.R.H.'s ear from the floor and put it in her mouth, according to the complaint" Link (new window)
So she bit a hunk of his ear off, spit it on the dirty diner floor, then decided she liked the taste after all? Damn.


I hope she followed the 3 second rule.....she might catch something.
 
hbk72777
2010-03-17 09:32:17 AM
gopher321: At what point in the story does the fact she's a teacher become relevant? It could have been a waitress, a company CEO, a sewer inspector, or a pole dancer...wtf?

Really, wtf? Why is it important to tell the readers she's a teacher in her day job?



I don't know, maybe because she's trusted to spend a certain amount of time to be responsible for children? Wouldn't you like to know if your kids teacher was lady Mike Tyson?
 
Displayed 43 of 43 comments

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
From the Fark Shop:
More from the Fark Shop »