I would watch a David Lynch version of Twilight.

Gus Van Sant?

So, they're going to be upfront & graphic about the homosexual buttsecks in this one?

No Uwe Bol? He'd be my first pick

madmann: Gus Van Sant?

So, they're going to be upfront & graphic about the homosexual buttsecks in this one?

This. while reading subby's headline: Wha?, Maybe (could see it), and no farking way. Twilight is a money machine, no way will the studio risk it to anyone that won't go by the numbers.

FeedTheCollapse: I would watch a David Lynch version of Twilight.

Something vis-a-vis (sp?) Mulholland Drive?

The concept of an epic war between evil vampires and an alliance of good vampires and werewolves, instigated by the unimaginable sin of breeding vampire babies, is awesome and could be epic with a good director.

However, that's not the book that was written. And, the screenwriter is the same as for the first three. So instead, we'll get a literal interpretation of the book, which reads like fanfic, minus anything that could make the characters interesting.

/yes, read all the books. And watched the movies.
//no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

Im going to cast my vote for whoever actually puts the entire bloody c-section by tooth vampire spine breaking baby creepily imprinted by an adult for sexual mating purposes.

FeedTheCollapse: I would watch a David Lynch version of Twilight.

THIS.

/ has to have Harry Dean Stanton, Isabella Rossellini, and Kyle MacLachland somewhere in the cast...

pivazena: //no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

Ok someone who read it who does not gush, so what is the draw, we all need to know now.

rcain: No Uwe Bol? He'd be my first pick

DAMN YOU!!!

shouldn't have been working so I could have posted that

//How about Michael Bay doing Twilight?

It should be Cronenberg

eagles95: //How about Michael Bay doing Twilight?

Its sparkly enough... you want more lens flare?

IdBeCrazyIf: eagles95: //How about Michael Bay doing Twilight?

Its sparkly enough... you want more lens flare?


I've never seen any of them. And if more lens flare kills off some of these twilight losers it will be a good outcome.

AuralArgument: pivazena: //no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

Ok someone who read it who does not gush, so what is the draw, we all need to know now.

I've read all four books as well. They suck!

/works in a bookstore. what's your excuse?

Given the subject matter (which has been discussed here ad nauseum), wouldn't it be more appropriate for Takashi Miike to direct it?

Of course then you'd have sparkly vampires walking around with soup ladles up their rears and the baby would be kept in a sack next to the telephone.

I still don't get why they are making the last book into two films. Nothing happens after the hell spawn is born. There is no epic battle because of Bella's super speshel powers. It's just a bunch of standing around and then it ends.

No I didn't read Breaking Dawn, but I did read this guy Mark's blog about it and it was hilarious.

/bored at work so that's my excuse.

DoughyGuy: Given the subject matter (which has been discussed here ad nauseum), wouldn't it be more appropriate for Takashi Miike to direct it?

Of course then you'd have sparkly vampires walking around with soup ladles up their rears and the baby would be kept in a sack next to the telephone.

Ahhh Imprint.

IdBeCrazyIf: Im going to cast my vote for whoever actually puts the entire bloody c-section by tooth vampire spine breaking baby creepily imprinted by an adult for sexual mating purposes.

So... Rob Zombie?

xxBirdMadGirlxx: IdBeCrazyIf: Im going to cast my vote for whoever actually puts the entire bloody c-section by tooth vampire spine breaking baby creepily imprinted by an adult for sexual mating purposes.

So... Rob Zombie?

Actually....Id prolly watch that. Its not like the guy can fark something up that's already farked up.

I'm all for Gus van Sant doing it if he tweaks the story to something more like Elephant.

And by that I mean having all of the characters shot and killed.

madmann: Gus Van Sant?

So, they're going to be upfront & graphic about the homosexual buttsecks in this one?

Sweet! I'd totally pay $10 to watch Kellan Lutz bone Taylor Lautner.

NikolaiFarkoff: For a second I thought "Bill Conti," but then realized that Twilight could not handle that level of awesomeness.

I thought it said the same thing, and was looking forward to seeing sparkly vampires shadow lifting nets full of rocks and climbing Siberian mountains while running away from the KGB. Alas...

AuralArgument: pivazena: //no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

Ok someone who read it who does not gush, so what is the draw, we all need to know now.

Okay. Bearing in mind, I'm in my upper 20s, happily married, good to excellent sex life, and getting a PhD in biology. And, I was nerdy in high school.

I think the success of the novels is that it appeals to all kinds of women for different reason. For the "fat fifteen year olds," this is the mysterious dreamy dude that for no apparent reason is into her. Fun to fantasize about.

For me, the intense feelings that these guys feel for each other powerfully remind me of how I felt about my husband when we first met. The knot in your stomach when you think about them, blah blah blah. The worst thing that happens to these guys is that the are desperately in love with each other. In any romance novel or romantic comedy, the main characters always screw it up for themselves, then reconcile. That doesn't really happen in these books-- they're driven only by their love for each other. So for women who have been in actual love (not infatuation), it allows you to really easily go back into infatuation mode without the possibility of being hurt, because you become reinfatuated with the person you're in love with.

I know it sounds really really stupid, and I can't speak for all twi-tards. Girls get carried away, and I don't like that Edward is mostly described for his looks rather than actions in the books, though that evolves as the books progress. Older women might be unhappy in their marriage and for them, these books are about escapism. For me, it's dumb and easy fantasy-- not that much different from the "beach books" you can buy at the grocery store.

The writing is awful, and anybody who says it's literature is kidding themselves. But it's done two things for me. The first is that since reading, I've been looking at my husband like I was the first day we met, and we met six years ago. The second-- and this is the doublethink backwards marketing that makes the Jonas brothers sex objects-- is that it makes me feel okay to be me, but be sexual. Being a woman in academia, I've found myself really suppressing my sexuality. Dressing in hoodies, shuffling around, pretending that I don't have two X chromosomes or that they don't matter for anything, and that attitude started trickling into my marriage. Since reading the books, I'm re-realizing that I'm allowed to be a sexual creature, and that it doesn't diminish my intelligence. Again, that doesn't sound that profound but you'd be amazed at how you feel you have to alter yourself in a testosterone-driven environment.

That's all I've got.

pivazena

The writing is awful, and anybody who says it's literature is kidding themselves. But it's done two things for me. The first is that since reading, I've been looking at my husband like I was the first day we met, and we met six years ago. The second-- and this is the doublethink backwards marketing that makes the Jonas brothers sex objects-- is that it makes me feel okay to be me, but be sexual. Being a woman in academia, I've found myself really suppressing my sexuality. Dressing in hoodies, shuffling around, pretending that I don't have two X chromosomes or that they don't matter for anything, and that attitude started trickling into my marriage. Since reading the books, I'm re-realizing that I'm allowed to be a sexual creature, and that it doesn't diminish my intelligence. Again, that doesn't sound that profound but you'd be amazed at how you feel you have to alter yourself in a testosterone-driven environment.

Ok.. I'm really confused by this. I agree with you that these books are written by a two year old with downs syndrome, but after that I'm lost. You think back to the time when your husband was an abusive psycho stalker? You've become more sexual after reading books that tell you sex before marriage will literally kill you? You like books that demean women and say that our place is in the kitchen and making babies? I'm really confused.

Sofia Coppolla has a best director oscar folks.

Maybe she can handle a film like this?

Tarantino. But I like trainwrecks.

Pucca:


Ok.. I'm really confused by this. I agree with you that these books are written by a two year old with downs syndrome, but after that I'm lost. You think back to the time when your husband was an abusive psycho stalker? You've become more sexual after reading books that tell you sex before marriage will literally kill you? You like books that demean women and say that our place is in the kitchen and making babies? I'm really confused.

*shrug*

I didn't interpret the books that way, or the movie for that matter. But, I've never had a stalker, so I don't have anything to base it on. I also didn't really receive the message that my job is to be in the kitchen and make babies... Perhaps you're bringing a bit of your own issues to the table? I don't think the author was using vampires as a metaphor for anything, because that would require some literary talent. We're all bringing our own interpretation to it.

eagles95:

//How about Michael Bay doing Twilight?

Sorry, but he's directing the NextWave movie in my perfect world.

/Admit it, you know that it would work beautifully

pivazena: /yes, read all the books. And watched the movies.
//no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

I'm not even as concerned so much with "why" as "how"? I consider myself something of a coniseur of horrible cinema. I've seen every verion of Solaris; including Sphere. I've even seen La Bête. In a theater. (I'm pretty sure just seeing it is illegal). I couldn't watch Twilight, even on fast forward. I thought maybe I'm just getting old, I can't tolerate the things I used too, I'm too jaded and now everything bores me. So I tested myself by watching a Dane Cook movie, which I had no problem viewing. It's not me, it's Twilight. So I ask "How?" not out of condemnation, but awe.

I just want to know who's going to direct the reboot, instead of breaking dawn.

/movies don't get a part 4 anymore, right?

Brainwash: Sofia Coppola has a best director original screenplay Oscar folks.

Maybe she can handle a film like this?

fixed

and it'll be adapted to remove all of the weird sex and birth bits just like what her dad did.

Tickle Mittens: pivazena: /yes, read all the books. And watched the movies.
//no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try

I'm not even as concerned so much with "why" as "how"? I consider myself something of a coniseur of horrible cinema. I've seen every verion of Solaris; including Sphere. I've even seen La Bête. In a theater. (I'm pretty sure just seeing it is illegal). I couldn't watch Twilight, even on fast forward. I thought maybe I'm just getting old, I can't tolerate the things I used too, I'm too jaded and now everything bores me. So I tested myself by watching a Dane Cook movie, which I had no problem viewing. It's not me, it's Twilight. So I ask "How?" not out of condemnation, but awe.

I recommend watching Not Another Teen Movie the day before, to prepare yourself for the cliche stupidity. I didn't enjoy the movies, but I went to see* them because I was hoping that some director could capture the way I felt about the books and put them into movie form... but, uh, they didn't do that. Not by far. SInce the books are a blank slate, people interpret them however they want to, meaning everybody's going to be unhappy with one director's vision.

And yes, it helps that Robert Pattinson is some delicious eye candy.

* by "see," I mean I rented Twilight and saw New Moon at our dollar theatre.

pivazena: The concept of an epic war between evil vampires and an alliance of good vampires and werewolves, instigated by the unimaginable sin of breeding vampire babies, is awesome and could be epic with a good director.

However, that's not the book that was written. And, the screenwriter is the same as for the first three. So instead, we'll get a literal interpretation of the book, which reads like fanfic, minus anything that could make the characters interesting.

/yes, read all the books. And watched the movies.
//no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try


This. I know, I know, I sound 15 and fat, go me.

ladyway905: pivazena: The concept of an epic war between evil vampires and an alliance of good vampires and werewolves, instigated by the unimaginable sin of breeding vampire babies, is awesome and could be epic with a good director.

However, that's not the book that was written. And, the screenwriter is the same as for the first three. So instead, we'll get a literal interpretation of the book, which reads like fanfic, minus anything that could make the characters interesting.

/yes, read all the books. And watched the movies.
//no, I cannot explain the draw. But if you ask, I'll try


This. I know, I know, I sound 15 and fat, go me.

lulz. It's like a coming out party... nice to see that there are a few fans

pivazena 2010-03-16 05:18:55 PM
Pucca:


Ok.. I'm really confused by this. I agree with you that these books are written by a two year old with downs syndrome, but after that I'm lost. You think back to the time when your husband was an abusive psycho stalker? You've become more sexual after reading books that tell you sex before marriage will literally kill you? You like books that demean women and say that our place is in the kitchen and making babies? I'm really confused.

*shrug*

I didn't interpret the books that way, or the movie for that matter. But, I've never had a stalker, so I don't have anything to base it on. I also didn't really receive the message that my job is to be in the kitchen and make babies... Perhaps you're bringing a bit of your own issues to the table? I don't think the author was using vampires as a metaphor for anything, because that would require some literary talent. We're all bringing our own interpretation to it.

Are you trolling or just amazingly stupid? Bella does nothing but cook, clean, and serve her men in those books. There are no strong female characters except maybe Alice. Every women in the books are obsessed with making babies.
Edward controlls Bella and is abusive. He disabled her car so she couldn't go see Jacob. HE DISABLED HER CAR. He constantly lies to her to "protect her" He snuck into her room to watch her sleep without her knowing. He reads the thoughts of everyone around her (which is creepy as fark) just so he knows her every move. CREEPY. There is nothing redeeming about his character.
Bella is an awful character and teaches girls that it's ok to be treated this way cause the guys just wuvs them so much!

AND.. the Mormom propaganda is thrown right in your face with every page. Bella is just a fragile little girl and Edward will kill her if he farks her. He tells her this. When they do have sex (after marriage of course) he farks her unconscious.

Good lord how can anyone read these books and not be appauled by the way women are portrayed and how the "ideal" man is portrayed? Makes me sick.

Pucca: pivazena 2010-03-16 05:18:55 PM
Pucca:


Ok.. I'm really confused by this. I agree with you that these books are written by a two year old with downs syndrome, but after that I'm lost. You think back to the time when your husband was an abusive psycho stalker? You've become more sexual after reading books that tell you sex before marriage will literally kill you? You like books that demean women and say that our place is in the kitchen and making babies? I'm really confused.

*shrug*

I didn't interpret the books that way, or the movie for that matter. But, I've never had a stalker, so I don't have anything to base it on. I also didn't really receive the message that my job is to be in the kitchen and make babies... Perhaps you're bringing a bit of your own issues to the table? I don't think the author was using vampires as a metaphor for anything, because that would require some literary talent. We're all bringing our own interpretation to it.

Are you trolling or just amazingly stupid? Bella does nothing but cook, clean, and serve her men in those books. There are no strong female characters except maybe Alice. Every women in the books are obsessed with making babies.
Edward controlls Bella and is abusive. He disabled her car so she couldn't go see Jacob. HE DISABLED HER CAR. He constantly lies to her to "protect her" He snuck into her room to watch her sleep without her knowing. He reads the thoughts of everyone around her (which is creepy as fark) just so he knows her every move. CREEPY. There is nothing redeeming about his character.
Bella is an awful character and teaches girls that it's ok to be treated this way cause the guys just wuvs them so much!

AND.. the Mormom propaganda is thrown right in your face with every page. Bella is just a fragile little girl and Edward will kill her if he farks her. He tells her this. When they do have sex (after marriage of course) he farks her unconscious.

Good lord how can anyone read these books and not be appauled by the way women are portrayed and how the "ideal" man is portrayed? Makes me sick.

You sound bitter

pivazena

No not bitter, just confused as to why this book was published in the 21st century. But hey, you go on and think that Edward is so dreamy.. with his controlling issues... and the lying... and the stalking...

Gus Van Sant would be a good choice. They're filmed up in the northwest where he lives, and he also did that Hanson video

Pucca: pivazena

No not bitter, just confused as to why this book was published in the 21st century. But hey, you go on and think that Edward is so dreamy.. with his controlling issues... and the lying... and the stalking...

Shrugging, again.

You've already made up your mind about the message of the book, as have I, and we disagree. The fights are most ardent when so little is at stake, and I'm not going to get into a line-by-line fight defending my position. Except to say, last-word-freak that I am, that I don't think it's stalking if they're both into each other, and it's not antifeminist to want children, or to acknowledge that other women do.

Your objections smack of the "concerned" parents who don't want other parent's precious snowflakes reading Harry Potter, lest they become bewitched

pivazena 2010-03-17 01:57:30 PM
Pucca: pivazena

No not bitter, just confused as to why this book was published in the 21st century. But hey, you go on and think that Edward is so dreamy.. with his controlling issues... and the lying... and the stalking...

Shrugging, again.

You've already made up your mind about the message of the book, as have I, and we disagree. The fights are most ardent when so little is at stake, and I'm not going to get into a line-by-line fight defending my position. Except to say, last-word-freak that I am, that I don't think it's stalking if they're both into each other, and it's not antifeminist to want children, or to acknowledge that other women do.

Your objections smack of the "concerned" parents who don't want other parent's precious snowflakes reading Harry Potter, lest they become bewitched

Just so I understand you...
You don't think it's stalking to sneak into someone else's bedroom and watch them sleep without their knowledge. You don't think it's stalking and creepy to listen to other people's thoughts so you know where someone is at all times? Whether Bella was obsessed with him too or not (and it was obsession, those two were never in love) it's stalking and really creepy.
It's not anti-feminist to want children, but to have all of your female characters (except one) cry that a woman is useless unless she has a child is sexist and demeaning.
But you think that Edward is oh so dreamy so I'm talking to a wall.
Does your husband know you are posting on the internet because I'm sure he'd like it better if you were barefoot, pregnant, and making him a sammich.

/btw, I love Harry Potter so don't compare me to those crazy fundie Mom's that tried to tell their kids that Harry was the devil.

pucca

Easy there, tiger. It'll be okay. Reading comprehension is hard, but it's just the internet. There's no such thing as winning an argument

pivazena 2010-03-17 04:43:34 PM
pucca

Easy there, tiger. It'll be okay. Reading comprehension is hard, but it's just the internet. There's no such thing as winning an argument

Excuse me kitten, but what are you talking about? I clearly stated my facts on the book and you ignored them. Now you best be going, I'm sure the master, oh I mean husband, needs some grub.

Dude, srsly. Chill. It's about vampires and werewolves. It's not like their behavior is going to be normal. If she were writing about humans, which she wasn't, then sure, it'd be a little different. Go back and read the Anne Rice novels. They were creepy as shiat. Homo as Homo gets.

NTTAWWT

Pucca: my facts

Precisely.

While ignoring half of my initial post

I'm with FeedTheCollapse on this one.

Just to see how weird it would be.

/really tired of the whole vamp phase