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(Dallas News) Strange "...dinosaurs were born of Satanic angel who has sex with woman and the animal kingdom that created ungodly reptilian creatures," said the former jail guard wondering why he no longer has a job   (dallasnews.com) divider line 209
More: Strange, Dallas County, state attorney general, sworn statement  
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12354 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Mar 2010 at 1:29 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



209 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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thalassatx [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 10:13:19 AM
Wow. Just...

Please note: He does not represent all Texans. Or even any other Texans that I've ever known. Damn.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 10:41:28 AM
i.imgur.com
 
yanceylebeef [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 10:44:18 AM
Sounds perfect for the Texas Board of Education.
 
Dead for Tax Reasons [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 10:51:45 AM
www.vn-productions.com

please! tell me about the farking golf shoes.
 
I_C_Weener [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:00:39 AM
i586.photobucket.com
 
Adjective Bird Whiskey [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:06:57 AM
And I'm sure he votes.
 
2wolves [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:13:22 AM
Free speech? No, that doesn't mean what you think it means.
 
Godscrack [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:15:23 AM
Another warlord of God's army has been outed.

Amazing how many people like this are attracted to positions of authority, especially guarding incarcerated people.
 
abb3w [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:19:11 AM
thalassatx: Please note: He does not represent all Texans.

people.virginia.edu
 
Godscrack [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 11:34:53 AM
img535.imageshack.us
 
xanadian [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 12:00:09 PM
FTFA: In October, he interrupted a private conversation among jail staff and "interjected his own opinions," telling them all gays should be annihilated, sheriff's reports show. He also said that whites were the superior race and that he supported slavery, reports show.

I'm sure that was all said in the same breath.
 
Doctor Funkenstein [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 12:01:18 PM
"He continued making statements which included his belief that God had sex with angels, and that dinosaurs were destroyed because man had sex with them, as well as his belief that the Devil had sex with humans," the report concluded.

Ummm...wut? Dinosecks? Aren't these people given psychological examinations before being given guns and sent off to guard prisons? How does someone who thinks man humped dinosaurs into extinction get past one of those? How many questions can I ask in a row? Four, the answer is four.

Those dirty dinowhores.
 
meat0918 [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 12:10:35 PM
Doctor Funkenstein: "He continued making statements which included his belief that God had sex with angels, and that dinosaurs were destroyed because man had sex with them, as well as his belief that the Devil had sex with humans," the report concluded.

Ummm...wut? Dinosecks? Aren't these people given psychological examinations before being given guns and sent off to guard prisons? How does someone who thinks man humped dinosaurs into extinction get past one of those? How many questions can I ask in a row? Four, the answer is four.

Those dirty dinowhores.

You are mistaken. There are five questions.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
oldebayer
2010-03-16 12:44:45 PM
He may not have a job, but he is first in line for a nice white coat.

The kind you put on backwards.
 
Doctor Funkenstein [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 12:48:34 PM
meat0918: You are mistaken. There are five questions.

D'oh!
 
impaler [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 12:54:23 PM
Johnson said the Bible supported his opinions, reports show.

Well, that much is true.
 
Fano
2010-03-16 01:32:03 PM
Why would that prevent holding a jailer job?
 
Goldmaniac
2010-03-16 01:32:09 PM
This is just another example of why Texas needs its own Fark tag.
 
Conjured Corsair of Conservation
2010-03-16 01:32:15 PM
That sounds like a wild japanese porn of some sort.

Or they already have porns like that from japan. I would not be suprised..I'll research this later...
 
EthelPP
2010-03-16 01:32:51 PM
yanceylebeef: Sounds perfect for the Texas Board of Education.

So much this! Perhaps he can get a job vetting textbooks.
 
Fabric_Man
2010-03-16 01:34:03 PM
"He said that his free speech rights were violated but that he had no plans to appeal his firing."

Because the lecture circuit is more lucrative!
 
MightyPez
2010-03-16 01:34:09 PM
Fano: Why would that prevent holding a jailer job?

Read the whole article. Pay particular attention to the portions outlining his belief in white people being a superior race and his support for slavery.

Then think about the general racial makeup of prisons.
 
Tatsuhiko
2010-03-16 01:35:19 PM
Conjured Corsair of Conservation: That sounds like a wild japanese porn of some sort.

Or they already have porns like that from japan. I would not be suprised..I'll research this later...

The formula's pretty much the same.

"Angel + sex + ungodly monsters / logic"

Works the same for japanese RPG video games.

"Angel + evil corporation + ungodly monster / comprehension"
 
Loud_Mouth_Soup
2010-03-16 01:35:47 PM
He said that his free speech rights were violated but that he had no plans to appeal his firing.


I'm sure there's a lawyer on the phone with him right now telling him otherwise.
 
Znuh
2010-03-16 01:36:18 PM
Sounds like the Best. Pron. Ever.

In other news, what's this about the Texans pumping out new history books that kinda...sort of...edit out key moments of history?

And they're going to be put in every school in the US?

U.S. history textbooks could soon be flavored heavily with Texas conservatism - Yahoo! News
 
lotonah
2010-03-16 01:36:20 PM
That's weird, I said pretty much the same thing a few weeks ago. Of course, I was drunk as shiat when I said it ;)

Glad I wasn't at work when I did, or else I wouldn't know what I was fired for--being a drunk idiot or being a drunk idiot at work.
 
hotter than the ads
2010-03-16 01:36:28 PM
Godscrack
Another warlord of God's army has been outed.

Amazing how many people like this are attracted to positions of authority, especially guarding incarcerated people.

In my experience (admittedly not within the system), prison/jail guards are far lower on the evolutionary order than the demon spawn of dino/human coitus.
 
Hip_about_time
2010-03-16 01:36:48 PM
....that is more or less what is taught in Alabama public schools so.....yea.
 
Funk Brothers
2010-03-16 01:36:55 PM
Must be a follower of Sarah Palin.
 
Thoran
2010-03-16 01:36:57 PM
"He continued making statements which included his belief that God had sex with angels, and that dinosaurs were destroyed because man had sex with them, as well as his belief that the Devil had sex with humans," the report concluded.

Why does it always seem like these fundy nut jobs are so hung up on sex? Seriously, it's like they want Rule 34 to apply to real life (or think it already does).
 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 01:37:20 PM
Dead for Tax Reasons: please! tell me about the farking golf shoes.

No, no, no, those are reptiles, not dinosaurs.

/But somebody was giving booze to those god-damned things
 
Regnad Kcin
2010-03-16 01:38:09 PM
Conjured Corsair of Conservation: That sounds like a wild japanese porn of some sort.

Or they already have porns like that from japan. I would not be suprised..I'll research this later...

Dino-Sore (Parts 1 and 2)
Three-Way-A-Tops
Take-It-Allosaurus
 
Trance750
2010-03-16 01:38:17 PM
Alex, I'll take 'Things Pat Robinson May Say' for $1000
 
HotWingConspiracy
2010-03-16 01:38:25 PM
Johnson said the Bible supported his opinions, reports show.

Well he's got them there.

also

Johnson also said that he didn't believe in homosexuality

It's ok, buddy. Homosexuality believes in you.
 
Pants full of macaroni!! [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 01:38:28 PM
Summon Bevets.
 
pwhp_67
2010-03-16 01:38:31 PM
Goldmaniac: This is just another example of why Texas needs its own Fark tag country.


yep, give it back to the Mexicans...
 
Sun Khan
2010-03-16 01:38:54 PM
Dude just gave the furries a whole new angle to play.

/facepalm
 
mraythor83
2010-03-16 01:38:55 PM
hi tennx
 
pwhp_67
2010-03-16 01:39:36 PM
MightyPez: Then think about the general racial makeup of prisons.


That's racist profiling, you racist...
 
genner
2010-03-16 01:39:37 PM
Love how the guy defends himself.

Well slavery is a good thing and all the gays should die but I don't recall saying that whites are the superior race.
 
sxacho
2010-03-16 01:40:07 PM
OK, that other stuff was something, but this...

And in 2008, he made a defamatory comment about illegal immigrants.

...I never would have suspected this from someone of his character.

Next you're going to tell me that he beats his wife.
 
baka-san [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 01:40:13 PM
Sheriff Decker, for all his flaws..

Would have kid this guys ass.
 
pwhp_67
2010-03-16 01:42:17 PM
Znuh: And they're going to be put in every school in the US?


I want the people who think the Second Amendment is all about standing up to the government to FARKING stand up to the government.

If this is where the country is heading then we really do need to consider having a revolution...
 
The Shoveller
2010-03-16 01:42:19 PM
Pants full of macaroni!!: Summon Bevets.

I believe he's busy looking for a new job.
 
Fupac
2010-03-16 01:43:09 PM
sawiggins.files.wordpress.com

I laugh every time I see this picture
 
pwhp_67
2010-03-16 01:43:16 PM
The Shoveller: I believe he's busy looking for a new job.


Who wouldn't hire an intelligent and articulate fella like him?
 
baka-san [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 01:43:28 PM
baka-san: Would have kid this guys ass.

That should have read "kicked"
 
dragonchild
2010-03-16 01:44:35 PM
thalassatx: Please note: He does not represent all Texans. Or even any other Texans that I've ever known.

No, just the Board of Education. Give it twenty years.

Conjured Corsair of Conservation: That sounds like a wild japanese porn of some sort. Or they already have porns like that from japan. I would not be suprised..I'll research this later...

It ain't Japanese.
 
danny_kay [TotalFark]
2010-03-16 01:45:36 PM
Sun Khan: Dude just gave the furries scalies a whole new angle to play.

/facepalm

FTFY
 
pwhp_67
2010-03-16 01:45:39 PM
dragonchild: It ain't Japanese.


I think I'm turning Japanese...
 
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