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(970 WFLA) Florida You can't find your wife at a theme park. Do you: a) call her cell phone, b) ask for help, or c) leave your four-month-old baby in the bushes and walk around for an hour?   (970wfla.com) divider line 48
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8926 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2010 at 11:27 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!



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2010-03-15 09:41:42 PM
www.orlandosentinel.com
 
2010-03-15 09:56:20 PM
That's why you put her on a leash.

The wife, that is.
 
2010-03-15 10:12:33 PM
What was he supposed to do? Those things can weigh as much as 20 pounds. Nothing but dead weight that would hinder rescue operations.
 
2010-03-15 10:21:59 PM
Babies, they're always in the damn way.

/Yay, a proper a,b,c headline
 
2010-03-15 10:22:38 PM
I like him for that dead manatee in Palm Beach, too. Sure, he says he spent the time looking for his wife, but...
 
2010-03-15 10:39:21 PM
Universal? Did the kid have a lightning bolt mark on her forehead?

Besides, I thought you were supposed to feed the kid to the whale.
 
2010-03-15 10:43:36 PM
ahahaha omg people are so farking stupid.
 
2010-03-15 10:58:42 PM
I was thrown out of Universal Orlando once but it was because I was shiatfaced, I wasn't endangering any children.
 
2010-03-15 11:29:11 PM
"The child is now in the custody of the Department of Children and Families."

Apparently no one else could find the mother either.
 
2010-03-15 11:30:06 PM
It's not like a four-month old can wander away and get lost.
 
2010-03-15 11:30:13 PM
Intelligent Design or Man (d)evolved from Monkeys?
 
2010-03-15 11:30:33 PM
What the hell were these idiots doing taking a 4 month old to a theme park in the first place?
 
2010-03-15 11:30:47 PM
Well he's worthless.
 
2010-03-15 11:31:16 PM
"Walk," smitty? This is Florida.

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2010-03-15 11:33:31 PM
I hope this douchebag has his nuts ripped off.

/have a nice day ;)
 
2010-03-15 11:34:52 PM
If only he had some kind of device that he could have used to transport the child around without carrying it. Something with wheels.
 
2010-03-15 11:35:32 PM
headstone: What the hell were these idiots doing taking a 4 month old to a theme park in the first place?

I would imagine if you live near there it's not a bad family outing, something people with very small children desperately need. Can't just go to a restaurant, people get pissed at babies. Movie? Right out. Wandering a theme park, trading rides, watching the daily parade? Probably sounding pretty good after four months of no sleep.

Not saying the two in the article are bright enough to have figured that out, more likely they were just bored after dragging their infant to movies and annoying everyone else for the last 4 months and wanted to do something different.
 
2010-03-15 11:36:08 PM
They can't walk at four months. I don't see the problem.
 
2010-03-15 11:39:44 PM
Wtf? Was he hoping the carnies would come steal the kid? It's a park, not the circus.

/With their creepy little hands
 
2010-03-15 11:40:11 PM
Of course he couldn't find her at a theme park. She was probably in the kitchen, right where she was supposed to be.
 
2010-03-15 11:40:38 PM
CravenMorehead: They can't walk at four months. I don't see the problem.

Mine is 11 months old. I miss the days where you could leave him somewhere and he would still be there later.

/By somewhere, I mean on the floor with toys, not in the bushes at Universal Studios.

//Now he army crawls everywhere...and gets in the damn way because he thinks it's funny.
 
2010-03-15 11:40:55 PM
hey when in doubt leave the kid with its grandperants chances are they both wear the same brand of diapers this is a win win
 
2010-03-15 11:44:24 PM
images.mirror.co.uk

Or you could do like the Chinese do and chain your child to a pole first so he doesn't run away while you go look for her.

/Photo explanation
 
2010-03-15 11:47:49 PM
This sounds like any given episode from the latter days of Malcolm in the Middle.
 
2010-03-15 11:57:19 PM
ok, I have 4 kids, and my first were twins. It was the first time I was ever around babies. Six months without sleep, followed by another six with a little sleep led me to consider some weird things. But even then, my animal instinct would take over. If I had stashed a kid in the bushes, I wouldn't have gotten one step away before realizing I can't do that. This guy, and his missing wife don't care enough.
 
2010-03-16 12:00:30 AM
Lets give him the women's excuse Post Partum Depression caused it.
 
2010-03-16 12:12:11 AM
They take kids away for a whole lot of reasons these days.

/Was unheard of back in my day.
 
2010-03-16 12:40:51 AM
The parents should be shot for taking a useless 4 month old whiny boat anchor to an amusement park in the first place.

They are just annoying, and prevent at least one person to stay behind at each ride.
 
2010-03-16 12:56:19 AM
Psycoholic_Slag: If only he had some kind of device that he could have used to transport the child around without carrying it. Something with wheels.

I don't think you can take a carry-on bag or a beer cooler into the theme park.
 
2010-03-16 01:01:07 AM
I am dying to hear his rationale for ditching the kid, considering he had a stroller. I bet he was embarrassed to push the stroller around by himself.

/why did you have two more after twins?
//had one, then decided to have another
///had twins
 
2010-03-16 02:12:20 AM
Good thing it wasn't at Disneyland, because the possums and feral cats would have eaten it by the time he got back.

Either that, or the gypsies would have carried it off.
 
2010-03-16 02:31:06 AM
This guy is clearly not very smart. His kitchen is nowhere near Universal Studios.
 
2010-03-16 03:50:50 AM
D) Use the kid as a prop to hit on women.
 
2010-03-16 04:27:20 AM
IonBeam2: Alien Robot: Or you could do like the Chinese do and chain your child to a pole first so he doesn't run away while you go look for her.

/Photo explanation

Wow. It's even more messed up than it looks, what with it happening every day and all.


If you look at the child, he seems completely at peace with being chained to a pole. I think it's just a matter of conditioning.
 
2010-03-16 04:50:29 AM
The most disturbing thing about this is knowing that some woman actually had sex with that choad.

*shudder*
 
2010-03-16 06:52:00 AM
Well if she's missing for an hour she's making more babies anyway with some other guy behind the hot dog cart, so whatever. One more or less.
 
2010-03-16 07:18:50 AM
I thought it said foul-mouth old baby.
 
2010-03-16 07:47:14 AM
Standard Deviant: If I had stashed a kid in the bushes, I wouldn't have gotten one step away before realizing I can't do that.

But you had a backup copy.
 
2010-03-16 08:05:53 AM
NephilimNexus: The most disturbing thing about this is knowing that some woman actually had sex with that choad.

*shudder*


I don't know why, but I had the same thought. *shudder*shudder*shudder* I haven't heard the term "choad" in a long time. An apt description.

He looks like a meth head, yeah? Betchya I know exactly what happened: They were both cranked up on meth, the wife got confused and wandered away with their stash. He's so cranked and angry he can't figure out how to work the wheeled conveyance the baby is sitting in, so he drags it into the bushes to go and search for instructions.
 
2010-03-16 08:30:13 AM
Psycoholic_Slag: If only he had some kind of device that he could have used to transport the child around without carrying it. Something with wheels.

Reading the article is important.

FTA: "Police reports say a Universal Studios employee found the crying child in her stroller in the bushes late Saturday"

He's just a lazy sack of shiat. Funny that the article doesn't mention where the mother was or what she was doing....or even if she was found. Maybe she abandoned them?
 
2010-03-16 08:31:50 AM
NephilimNexus: The most disturbing thing about this is knowing that some woman actually had sex with that choad.

*shudder*


Women have sex with dumb aholes?? Known that for years.
 
2010-03-16 08:40:57 AM
The guy couldn't find the kitchen for over an hour?
 
2010-03-16 11:04:18 AM
So... where the hell is the mother at stupid article?
 
2010-03-16 11:08:56 AM
Dupe from 3000 years ago?

Two women find a basket in the reeds with a baby in it?
 
2010-03-16 12:52:54 PM
At first glance I misread it as: "...or c) leave your foul-mouthed baby in the bushes..."

The article for *that* headline would have had a few more chuckles in it, that's for sure.
 
2010-03-16 02:10:44 PM
That guy's an idiot. Do you know what a white 4-month-old baby is worth on the open market? Leaving the kid parked in the bushes at a theme park is like leaving a Ferrari in a Compton parking lot, unlocked with keys in the ignition.
 
2010-03-16 02:53:23 PM
Ishkur: Psycoholic_Slag: If only he had some kind of device that he could have used to transport the child around without carrying it. Something with wheels.

Reading the article is important.

FTA: "Police reports say a Universal Studios employee found the crying child in her stroller in the bushes late Saturday"

He's just a lazy sack of shiat. Funny that the article doesn't mention where the mother was or what she was doing....or even if she was found. Maybe she abandoned them?



I know this response is being posted the next freaking day and you will probably never read it but....uhhhh......you don't do sarcasm much do you?

If you still don't get it, why yes I did read the article, that's why my post was so freaking hilarious.
 
2010-03-16 07:54:54 PM
Psycoholic_Slag: If only he had some kind of device that he could have used to transport the child around without carrying it. Something with wheels.

You know how long that line is to even get one? One would hope there are bushes near the entrance.
 
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