He has six toes, he was the second shooter, he likes long walks on the beach. Three more, free of charge.

There's an "S" on a building in Chicago?

He can't bust heads like he used to, but he has his ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time he caught the ferry to Shelbyville. He needed a new heel for his shoe. So he decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So he tied an onion to his belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that he had an onion tied to his belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.

Farker T: There's an "S" on a building in Chicago?

Sears tower comes to mind.

/troll?

I kind of wish this had had the Hero tag.

So he's the apotheosis of Cool Story Bro?

Another brown-nose job by Jeffrey Toobin, the most overrated legal writer in the USA. Look, Toobin, we get it: you're a left-leaning guy too terrified of public opprobrium to do anything more controversial than note that Clarence Thomas chooses to rely on finely polished appellate briefs than on often flustered oral argument. Instead, you blather on and on (in measured language) about how awful it is that people like you think the Court is moving right without mentioning that the government isn't getting any less invasive or expensive and without noting the subleties in the opinions of any one justice. Far easier to paint with a broad brush and play at being the legal Sanjay Gupta, popping up to kiss some ass on CNN so some of the most idle couch potato rich wave to you at The Palm.

There was no called shot.

JP and I share the same birthday. 4/20!!!!!!

/best damn birthday going

If only there were someone with good, unbiased judgment at that game, we would know for sure whether the Babe called his shot or not.

Some say his toupee is made from pure Himalayan spider silk. And that he once spent an entire weekend whittling a rotary telephone from solid mahogany.

All we know is, he's called The Stevens!

aerojockey: If only there were someone with good, unbiased judgment at that game, we would know for sure whether the Babe called his shot or not.

Well he did, but then George Lucas lost his balls and changed it for the Special Edition.

/Seriously, Lady GaGa's done as much in SCOTUS arguments as Tomas since '06?

Washington, Washington Six foot eight. Weighs a farking ton. Opponents beware. Opponents beware. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming.

Here comes George, in control.
Women dug his snuff and his gallant stroll.
Ate opponent's brains, and invented cocaine.
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

Had a pocket full of horses, farked the shiat out of bears.
Threw a knife into Heaven, and could kill with a stare.
He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky.
Killed his sensei in a duel and never said why.

Washington, Washington.
Twelve stories high, made of radiation.
The present beware, the future beware,
He's coming, he's coming, he's coming.

GaryPDX: He also sucked FDR's polio infested Johnson.

/that's what they called it back then
//penis

You always try too hard...
/hard...penis

skinink: "Clarence Thomas never says anything. (Thomas has not asked a question at an oral argument since 2006.)"
Jeebus, I think George Bush Sr get a bad rap for a lot of things, but not for nominating this guy. Thomas seems like the weakest SC judge. I can't wait for the day when he retires.

Not saying Thomas is a great judge, but the questions rarely, if ever, have any real influence on the decision.

His dancing at a cousin's wedding inspired Bob Fosse to create a revolution in American choreography.

NOBODY expects the Clarence inquisition.

studebaker hoch: There was no called shot.

When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.

SharkTrager: skinink: "Clarence Thomas never says anything. (Thomas has not asked a question at an oral argument since 2006.)"
Jeebus, I think George Bush Sr get a bad rap for a lot of things, but not for nominating this guy. Thomas seems like the weakest SC judge. I can't wait for the day when he retires.

Not saying Thomas is a great judge, but the questions rarely, if ever, have any real influence on the decision.

He doesn't need to ask questions. He just has to wait for Tony to tell him which way to vote

SilverSurfer3000: JP and I share the same birthday. 4/20!!!!!!

/best damn birthday going

You know who else..... aw, forget it.

GaryPDX: He also sucked FDR's polio infested Johnson.

/that's what they called it back then
//penis

polio? 'Cause a lot of people think that's not what he had.

Stevens is the tallest man alive. They used Stevens as a 1:1 scale on the Lincoln memorial. When they were trying to figure out how the Sphinx at Giza lost its nose, Stevens admitted that he got drunk and angry and knocked it off with his fists. After he realized Moses had tried to cheat him at cards.

That man can eat anything, that fat bald ghey guy on the travel channel read Stevens lost grocery list and got the idea for the show. The man snorts pool cleaner when he has allergies and uses polonium for aspirin. One time his flight was delayed. He got so angry that his thoughts altered the space and time of this dimension. Oceanic 815 isn't a sci-fi drama, its a reality show. Jacob is actually Stevens. As is Lock. As is the smoke monster. In fact every character is based on an aspect of Stevens. And yeah, he banged Kate and Claire. At the same time. While Rose held the camera.

Little known fact, the supreme court building was also targeted on 9-11 but Stevens laughed and the wind from his lungs blew the plane to a field in Pennsylvania. The IDF planned a multi-front battle that would last two months. Stevens said all he would need would be Six days. One day for fighting and five days for banging hot IDF chicks.

Why hasn't the US gotten involved with Darfur? Thats where Stevens spends his weekend as a war lord, castrating local men and raping the women. The four horsemen of the apocalypse where crafted after a story that Paul heard about a Stevens bender. The locals say that in the 40s when the Nazi scientists were doing experiments Stevens told them to take a single drop of his blood, give it to a monkey and then give that blood to a native, thus the birth of AIDS.

Both Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton are Stevens daughters. Stevens allegedly dared the Drugars to try and catch up with the number of children he has. They reached 18 and asked if they finally beat him. He laughed and told them he had impregnated 18 DC legal aids. That morning. By merely walking by them on the street. Stevens is the only person to DVDA. By himself. Larry Flint was physically ill after Stevens pitched a idea for a Supreme Court Conquests Porn. Its said that Stevens sperm powers the nuclear reactors of the world.

I know many men would want to speak ill of Stevens, but to me he is STEVENS!

dictyboy: SilverSurfer3000: JP and I share the same birthday. 4/20!!!!!!

/best damn birthday going

You know who else..... aw, forget it.

I know...it's just too easy. My glee is pure schadenfreude, and I'm okay with it. Mention Columbine, too, and he'd probably poop himself.

The Face Of Oblivion: Another brown-nose job by Jeffrey Toobin, the most overrated legal writer in the USA. Look, Toobin, we get it: you're a left-leaning guy too terrified of public opprobrium to do anything more controversial than note that Clarence Thomas chooses to rely on finely polished appellate briefs than on often flustered oral argument. Instead, you blather on and on (in measured language) about how awful it is that people like you think the Court is moving right without mentioning that the government isn't getting any less invasive or expensive and without noting the subleties in the opinions of any one justice. Far easier to paint with a broad brush and play at being the legal Sanjay Gupta, popping up to kiss some ass on CNN so some of the most idle couch potato rich wave to you at The Palm.

When he's not knocking up the married daugter of television commentator Jeff Greenfield, only to duck his child support obligations (^), or chasing Judith Regan's tail (^).

I couldn't finish the article, the woman asking her husband "What's with the Tim Russert act?" really threw me for a loop. Their cartoons are so terrible I am thinking of buying framed prints for birthdays and anniversaries of my in laws. Then each time I see it hastily hanged in some place of confused albeit polite reverence, no doubt moments before I enter, I will chortle and chuckle and muse about what a good cartoon for the New Yorker this story could be.

NathanielTaggart: NOBODY expects the Clarence inquisition.

That made me giggle like the deranged mad-man I am.

Yes, I did know all those things. Also that he wears bow ties and was a awesome bridge player before senility struck.

Since he's been on the Court since the Andrew Johnson administration, these little factoids tend to get recycled in his decennial profile.

theoriginaljordan: I couldn't finish the article, the woman asking her husband "What's with the Tim Russert act?" really threw me for a loop. Their cartoons are so terrible I am thinking of buying framed prints for birthdays and anniversaries of my in laws. Then each time I see it hastily hanged in some place of confused albeit polite reverence, no doubt moments before I enter, I will chortle and chuckle and muse about what a good cartoon for the New Yorker this story could be.

Would a good one involve a pig at a complaint department?

DFWPhotoGuy


that was amazing thank you

Stevens once ruled against Chuck Norris.

studebaker hoch: There was no called shot.

Authority seems to be split on this issue.

Ruth later said that as he neared first base he yelled at Charlie Root, the Cubs' pitcher, "How do you like those apples, you g*dd*mned son of a b*tch!"

Root threw one more pitch in that inning. Lou Gehrig hit it into the right field bleachers for a home run.

subaudio: I kind of wish this had had the Hero tag.

Hero? I was thinking of the Sad or maybe a special Pathetic tag.

Just like there is no reason for an elected official to still be in office past the age of 80, by then life has passed you by and there is no way you can relate to those even 20 years younger. And these are the people that make laws for generations 3 times removed.

Im sorry, age limits for all elected officials is a must, right along with term limits.

Rubberband Girl: Is he afraid of sounding stupid?

Prolly that. He's bitter and thin-skinned, his memoir is a list of grievances. He even makes a grievance of his affirmative-action Yale degree.

A friend of mine has written a biography of Stevens that's coming out in May. Amazon link (new window)

Vodka Zombie: What choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?

-1

/Fark you Macy's

from wiki: Stevens married Elizabeth Jane Shereen in June 1942. Divorcing her in 1979, he married Maryan Mulholland Simon that December. He has four children: John Joseph (who died of cancer in 1996), Kathryn, Elizabeth and Susan.

The story was he was living in the Beverly neighborhood of Chicago and would hop on the morning train only to hop off one stop later to meet his mistress.

Way tl:dr.

Ugh. I'm horrified that NPR and The New Yorker are on fark. Standards have fallen and boundaries have been blurred.

Leave the intellIgentsia alone!

SilverSurfer3000: JP and I share the same birthday. 4/20!!!!!!

/best damn birthday going

You know who ELSE was born on 4/20?

He witnessed Babe Ruth's called shot, enlisted the day before Pearl Harbor, and a Chicago hotel still bears his family initial



Seen all, done all, he has.

steamingpile: subaudio: I kind of wish this had had the Hero tag.

Hero? I was thinking of the Sad or maybe a special Pathetic tag.

Just like there is no reason for an elected official to still be in office past the age of 80, by then life has passed you by and there is no way you can relate to those even 20 years younger. And these are the people that make laws for generations 3 times removed.

Im sorry, age limits for all elected officials is a must, right along with term limits.

When is the election for the Supreme Court, I must have missed that.

You know the freaking CONSTITUTION says it is a LIFE TIME appointment. Given that he is not dead he is within the limits set by the framers of the constitution. They put a term limit in...

/not a fan of JPS, but Christ on Toast he is NOT elected.