FARK.com: (5112861) In just one day, English police caught a motorist steering his car with his elbows while using both hands to roll a cigarette and reading from a clipboard placed across the steering wheel, and another woman driving with her hood up

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		In just one day, English police caught a motorist steering his car with his elbows while using both hands to roll a cigarette and reading from a clipboard placed across the steering wheel, and another woman driving with her hood up (dailymail.co.uk)		46
		More: Strange, Dorset, beach resort, steering, english police, seat belts, reckless driving, police officers

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46 Comments (+0 »)

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Snarfangel

2010-03-16 12:10:48 AM

I thought English police would bust people for splitting infinitives and using double negatives.

TwistedIvory

2010-03-16 01:04:47 AM

That first one sounds a lot like a guy I witnessed on the road in Tempe. At a stoplight I found myself behind a guy in a Toyota Corolla. He was sending text messages while stopped. Irritating (because often folks who do this aren't watching the light and tend to hold up traffic) but non-critical. However, when the light turned green he continued to text -- with both hands, no less -- on his cell phone. I pulled up next to him and saw that he had a Bluetooth gizmo in his ear and was chatting on the phone, too (this second phone attached to a cradle on the dash). The driver wasn't paying any attention at all to the road or traffic. Astonished, I watched him then pull out a legal pad and begin writing notes on the pad while driving down a surface street (speed limit 45) at 60mph.

I was on one of my motorcycles. I waved, honked, and tried to get his attention so I could encourage him to pay attention to driving. Nothing.

When I saw this guy get on the on-ramp for the highway I pulled over, took out my own cell phone, and got state DPS on the line. I read them his license info and described the vehicle and driver so that they could take care of it.

Still, though. . . I wish I could've taken one of his rearview mirrors out with my fist. Maybe he'd have paid attention to the road then.

snuff3r

2010-03-16 06:23:36 AM

TwistedIvory: Damn, dude. Nice collection. That Sprint is pure porn.

Aarontology

2010-03-16 06:59:57 AM

I roll my own smokes, and I found an awesome alternative to rolling one while I drive: I roll a few beforehand.

I_Am_Weasel

2010-03-16 07:43:25 AM

Those people with a cigarette in one hand and a cell phone in the other are precious.

I was rearended by someone on a cell phone, killed my car. She was far too busy continuing conversations afterward to ask me if I was OK.

Fortunately we now have a handheld cellphone driving ban, but it hasn't stopped every asshat. I can't imagine any cell phone conversation is that important to drive while holding the phone. I accept handsfree, but they're still not paying full attention, causing more trouble for those of us who nap while driving.

EZ Writer

2010-03-16 07:52:17 AM

People still smoke?

GooberMcFly

2010-03-16 07:53:28 AM

Hawnkee

2010-03-16 08:03:11 AM

I thought women always drove with a hood.

Regnad Kcin

2010-03-16 08:03:19 AM

English police caught a motorist steering his car with his elbows while using both hands to roll a cigarette and reading from a clipboard placed across the steering wheel, and another woman driving with her hood up

You like it like that, don't ya subby.

TheyCallMeSirr2

2010-03-16 08:10:35 AM

'On one patrol a lady was stopped, she had three children in the back without seat belts on.

'When asked why they did not have belts on, she said they weren't her children.

/ I Smile

Minipax

2010-03-16 08:11:33 AM

Snarfangel: I thought English police would bust people for splitting infinitives and using double negatives.

What you did there...

RU_Rules

2010-03-16 08:14:08 AM

Being Britain subby, that should have been "and another woman driving with her ~~hood~~ bonnet up."

Queen's English grammar nazi

Mad Scientist

2010-03-16 08:17:04 AM

There is a bill working through my state's legislature that would ban texting while driving. There is significant serious opposition to passing the bill.

/and that's just one reason why my state is a joke

dieselfrost

2010-03-16 08:17:37 AM

Why were they in Jersey?

Bendal

2010-03-16 08:22:30 AM

I've got that beat. Driving down I-40 right before rush hour near Raleigh, I came upon a woman performing these actions while driving:

-smoking a cigarette
-reading a map unfolded over the steering wheel
-talking on a phone cradled between her ear and shoulder
-writing on a note pad stuck on the windshield
-holding a cup of coffee

She was steering the car with one finger of the hand holding the coffee cup; presumably she was also using her knee to hold it steady. Traffic at the time was heavy and moving about 55-65mph and building to the usual rush hour "stop and go". I got away from her as fast as I could.

Shakespeare's Monkey

2010-03-16 08:23:06 AM

This makes me want to keep my motorcycle in my garage and never take it out again. I don't want to be road pizza for some text addict.

Scruffinator

2010-03-16 08:28:02 AM

I_Am_Weasel: Those people with a cigarette in one hand and a cell phone in the other are precious.

I was rearended by someone on a cell phone, killed my car. She was far too busy continuing conversations afterward to ask me if I was OK.

Fortunately we now have a handheld cellphone driving ban, but it hasn't stopped every asshat. I can't imagine any cell phone conversation is that important to drive while holding the phone. I accept handsfree, but they're still not paying full attention, causing more trouble for those of us who nap while driving.

I had an accident happen right in front of me because of a young girl talking on her cell phone. Same deal, didn't even get off the phone. Apparently didn't have the time of day to get off the phone for the family of 4 she pulled out in front of while they were going 55 mph.

/peaced out once I knew everybody was ok

TheManWho

2010-03-16 08:37:20 AM

RU_Rules: Being Britain subby, that should have been "and another woman driving with her hood bonnet up."

Queen's English grammar nazi

Thank you. I didn't read the article (Daily Fail and all), but I thought getting stopped for having a piece of head wear on was a bit harsh.

ethics-gradient

2010-03-16 08:39:48 AM

There's more of this bollocks around in the UK, because for the last decade the cops haven't been enforcing driving standards, preferring the easy work of ticketing people for "excess speed". This panders to our ruler's simplistic view that the only test of driving competence is how fast people go. Result? Long queues of traffic held up by fools driving 30mph or so below the limit because they're "driving safely", i.e. they don't know how to judge risk, speed or road conditions but they never set off speed cameras so they never suffer consequences.
If the cops had the guts to tell Labour politicians the truth it would be easier to forgive them for letting things get to this state.

/I'm not even sure Gordon Brown has a driving licence, and don't get me started on that prat Cameron.
//Enough already, give us one single police force that observes the spirit of law as well as the letter.

dittybopper

2010-03-16 08:56:09 AM

Shakespeare's Monkey: This makes me want to keep my motorcycle in my garage and never take it out again. I don't want to be road pizza for some text addict.

I would encourage you to go ahead and take your motorcycle out, because hey, free pizza for the rest of us!

Gussie Fink-Nottle

2010-03-16 09:11:33 AM

I've only ever had one fark-worthy accident as a driver. I was stopped at a stop street and a guy rear-ended me in his pick-up.

It was actually a scary experience. I could see that the driver wasn't paying attention to the road and would never stop in time in my rear view mirror, but because of cross traffic I couldn't take any avoiding action.
Luckily the driver slammed on brakes at the last moment and although both vehicles were quite badly damaged, nobody was hurt.

The driver was most apologetic. Apparently his cousin had borrowed his brand new pick-up to transport some pigs. He hadn't seen either me or the stop street because he'd been trying to check out how much mess the pigs had made in the back of his truck.

Idiot.

Scruffinator

2010-03-16 09:14:11 AM

Gussie Fink-Nottle: I've only ever had one fark-worthy accident as a driver. I was stopped at a stop street and a guy rear-ended me in his pick-up.

It was actually a scary experience. I could see that the driver wasn't paying attention to the road and would never stop in time in my rear view mirror, but because of cross traffic I couldn't take any avoiding action.
Luckily the driver slammed on brakes at the last moment and although both vehicles were quite badly damaged, nobody was hurt.

The driver was most apologetic. Apparently his cousin had borrowed his brand new pick-up to transport some pigs. He hadn't seen either me or the stop street because he'd been trying to check out how much mess the pigs had made in the back of his truck.

Idiot.

On a small highway leading into my town, there's a couple of stoplights. One day, a guy on a motorcycle must of not been paying attention or something, slammed full speed into the back of a tractor trailer stopped at the stop light. I never did hear if he survived or not.

The Envoy

2010-03-16 09:14:59 AM

ethics-gradient: There's more of this bollocks around in the UK, because for the last decade the cops haven't been enforcing driving standards, preferring the easy work of ticketing people for "excess speed". This panders to our ruler's simplistic view that the only test of driving competence is how fast people go. Result? Long queues of traffic held up by fools driving 30mph or so below the limit because they're "driving safely", i.e. they don't know how to judge risk, speed or road conditions but they never set off speed cameras so they never suffer consequences.
If the cops had the guts to tell Labour politicians the truth it would be easier to forgive them for letting things get to this state.

/I'm not even sure Gordon Brown has a driving licence, and don't get me started on that prat Cameron.
//Enough already, give us one single police force that observes the spirit of law as well as the letter.

Iain M. Banks fan?

IAAl

2010-03-16 09:15:25 AM

It doesn't seem like catching these people would take an entire day. I guess they are not paying attention and don't see the flashing lights?

alaric3

2010-03-16 09:22:43 AM

In just one day? Wow! No, wait I'm being sarcastic. Do they want a medal or something? I see that kind of thing every day. That's like saying you saw kids in hoodies on their knees on skateboards at 3am in the middle of traffic. It happens all the time.

Dubai Vol

2010-03-16 09:28:48 AM

I thought getting stopped for having a piece of head wear on was a bit harsh.

Some British cars have hoods that can be up or down, but it's not an offence to have it either way. Not very clever to have it down in the rain, of course....

The most infuriating thing I've seen recently was the woman on the phone, parked. Good for her. Sadly, rather than remain parked until she finished her call, she just pulled out and went right on jabbering.

/WTF do women find to yammer on about for hours on the phone?
//I overhear them constantly, and it's always pointless drivel

Dubai Vol

2010-03-16 09:29:26 AM

HTML fail for me : )

Sork

2010-03-16 09:34:50 AM

Gussie Fink-Nottle: I got rear-ended by a pig farmer's cousin in his pick-up. It was actually a scary experience.

www.frontiernet.net

/squeals like a pig

BuzzBoy

2010-03-16 09:41:35 AM

It was on Fark that I read about the British Police being on the lookout for an obese woman driving on the A-8 Motorway while eating a meal off a plate with a knife and fork.

danno_to_infinity

2010-03-16 09:41:36 AM

come on, everybody knows you steer with your knees while rolling smokes when driving.

/slushboxes rule, sticks drool

dittybopper

2010-03-16 10:07:19 AM

Kinda disappointed I had to do it. Slackers.

Scaryduck

2010-03-16 10:12:44 AM

Awww, crap. More stupid people from my home town.

FarkinNortherner

2010-03-16 10:33:45 AM

ethics-gradient: I'm not even sure Gordon Brown has a driving licence, and don't get me started on that prat Cameron.

Yeah, I wouldn't expect some radical transformation under the Tories, it was the Major government that realised you could transform 'crime' clear up rates and massively reduce police costs by replacing trafpol with speed cameras. Unfortunately Winky's been even more keen on it this bollocks than they were.

/I can haz new government?
//preferably from the 'none of the above' column

FarkinNortherner

2010-03-16 10:34:27 AM

FarkinNortherner: Unfortunately Winky's been even more keen on it this bollocks than they were.

I swear this was a sentence in my head.

dittybopper

2010-03-16 10:43:51 AM

FarkinNortherner: FarkinNortherner: Unfortunately Winky's been even more keen on it this bollocks than they were.

I swear this was a sentence in my head.

Well as I say, you'd just be talking and out'll pudenda the wrong word and ashtray's your uncle. So I'm really strawberry about it.

Fark Me To Tears

2010-03-16 11:49:06 AM

Sounds like a typical morning on the GW Parkway.

LiberalZombie

2010-03-16 11:50:53 AM

In one day? That would be just one hour in the event blotter for the Aurora Colorado police.

Evilmogwai

2010-03-16 11:54:44 AM

Dubai Vol: Some British cars have hoods that can be up or down, but it's not an offence to have it either way. Not very clever to have it down in the rain, of course....

they meant the bonnet. see the pics in the article.

agsfark

2010-03-16 12:04:20 PM

I used to travel I-40 in Raleigh stop/go/stop/go/ad infinitum.

Every now and then I would pull alongside someone reading a paperback or newspaper. My M.O. is to pull alongside the driver's door, honk the horn and slam on the brakes as if we're about to wreck. When the jackass finally figures out I was just trying to scare him, I would laugh, wave and carry on.

Similarly, for drivers that talk on the phone while trying to crash me, I just pull alongside and hold the horn so they can't hear the phone.

Now, thankfully, this roadway terrorist takes the stoplight-to-stopligh racetrack that is TW Alexander.

cwsfa

2010-03-16 12:13:25 PM

Anyone still wondering why we all pay so much for auto insurance?

Scaryduck

2010-03-16 12:17:40 PM

The Envoy: I'm not even sure Gordon Brown has a driving licence

I doubt if he's ever driven, on account of him only having one eye.

Farkage

2010-03-16 12:17:42 PM

Scruffinator: must of

must have
/pet peeve

radioman_

2010-03-16 12:44:05 PM

In just one day, New York police almost caught this poster steering his car with his elbows while using both hands to roll a joint and reading from a New York Post placed across the steering wheel. I was also shifting and drinking coffee and eating an hard roll.

Sork

2010-03-16 12:48:36 PM

Karma Curmudgeon

2010-03-16 01:40:10 PM

radioman_: In just one day, New York police almost caught this poster steering his car with his elbows while using both hands to roll a joint and reading from a New York Post placed across the steering wheel. I was also shifting and drinking coffee and eating an hard roll.

Wow, talk about something dangerous that you could regret. I hope you take better care next time to avoid what could be very unfortunate results to your actions. Everyone knows that the Post is filled with misinformation and uninformed gossip.

chatoyance

2010-03-16 07:46:41 PM