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Why lost productivity due to March Madness is a load of crap, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/7 - 3/13
Posted by Drew at 2010-03-15 1:34:08 PM (28 comments) | Permalink
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4359 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2010 at 1:37 PM | | share: more»
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It's still a month too early to start sending out the legions of reporters to do a breathless live feed in front of long lines at the Post Office as people file their taxes, but that doesn't mean that you won't see press releases on "little-known tax loopholes" stories that are often thinly disguised advertisements for tax preparation companies.
For the next two weeks, other sports will continue to exist, and there are a lot of important things happening, but 90% of what you'll be hearing about will be related to March Madness. The annual story about the NCAA men's basketball tournament lowering worker productivity by x% should be out today, or tomorrow at the very latest (update: never mind, it's already out).
It's total crap, and here's why: every single office worker in America has already figured out the sliding scale of their workplace. On one end is how much work to do in order to be promoted, and on the other end is how little work they need to do not to get fired. Anybody with half a brain knows how to slack off while looking busy. So yeah, people will be paying attention to the tournament, but no, it's not replacing working. It's replacing the slacking off doing other crap that people were doing while looking busy but not working.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2010-03-07 to Sat 2010-03-13:
Bigfoot spotted in Maine, solid brown everywhere else
Psycho killer...signs himself...out of the ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hospital, then he...runs runs runs runs, runs runs runs away
Large Hadron Collider misses again. This is not a repeat from 2011
Semi overturns and spills 45,000 pounds of batteries. Driver not charged
Teen shoots himself in the testicles. Bet he doesn't have the balls to do that again
7.2 magnitude earthquake stirs Chile
Thieves steal beloved hamster from school for children with autism. Students describe hamster as 18.375 cm long, weighs 197.901 grams, eats 10.34 grams of sunflower seeds per day, and has 15,728 hairs on its body
Female reporter says she doesn't feel like a woman when she's abroad
Math Teacher sentenced to [-C+π²+πlog(9/4),(-2+2e+8e²)/e] months ∈ (the prison population) for corruption of individual x where age(x) is less than 17
One in ten British children believe that the Queen invented the telephone. The remaining 90% think that she will, she will, rock you
Australia may lower the blood alcohol limit for motorists to .02, meaning they'd returned to the good old days when 98% of the residents were prisoners
Hall of Famer Merlin Olsen passes away at 69. If only there were some way to send condolences to the funeral
Johnny Weir says Stars on Ice doesn't want him in the show because he's too gay. So apparently Stars on Ice is going with an all-female cast this year
Tiger and Elin show the world that a deep, abiding love of sponsorship money conquers all
Yellowstone Park's Druid wolf pack is gone. Nobody knows who they were, or...what they were doing. But their legacy remains, hewn into the living rock...of Yellowstonehenge
Cisco just invented a new router that can download the entire Library of Congress in one second, every movie ever made in four minutes, all the porn on the internet in 69 years
Women with good genes have more sexual partners than those without, possibly because their butts look so damned good in them
Chuck Norris would be 70 today if time wasn't afraid of him
Mario Lopez and his girlfriend are expecting their first child. Lopez says when he finds the guy responsible he's going to kick his ass
Woman whose picture appeared in "Couples Retreat" sues for humiliation, embarrassment, emotional distress, shame, mortification and injury to her career. Wouldn't that apply to everyone that appeared in that movie?
The Clinton family thinking about putting their little one into a Jewish Marriage Ceremony. Bill reminded the last time he put his little one into something Jewish, it didn't turn out so good
Jesus, Crist is getting crucified by Marco Rubio in the Florida Senate Primary *and* by McColum in the Governor Primary. There's little chance of him coming back from the dead THIS time
Democrats already vying to be Senate majority leader next term to replace Harry Reid, who has combined the excitement of vanilla pudding with the legislative effectiveness of, well, vanilla pudding
The Melvins to release new album and go on tour, which is excting news for the dozens of fans still listening to grunge
Coming this June: Green Day Rock Band. Even on Expert level, you'll only need to use two of the buttons
Ray Charles musical set to open on Broadway this fall. Too bad he didn't live to see it
Citi plans to foreclose on a house unless the homeowner pays them $0.00. Where will he get that exorbitant amount of money?
Your Shopper loyalty card: a great way to get discounts, special offers, and warnings from the CDC that the food you just bought could make you vomit blood from your eyeballs
FCC launches its own broadband speed test site so you can see exactly how your ISP is humping you like a horny donkey
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