This thread can't be threadjacked.

"Anybody with half a brain knows how to slack off while looking busy."

Do the people that actually work at fark kill time by creating accounting spreadsheets? How else could you screw around?

I find if you have a large office just get some paperwork and walk around like you have somewhere to go and just mumble to yourself. Works all the time, nobody will stop you since you look like you are mad and busy.

Productivity lost due to Fark is something else entirely.

The (not)LeBron James/Steroid headline deserves to be here...

Unfreakable: Torrentius: le that actually work at fark kill time by creating accounting spreadsheets? How else could you screw around?

When Drew's not looking, I draft 50-page long range plans that analyze market trends, research customer histories and write memos.

/please don't tell him

Your secret is safe with me, although I've heard he does occasionally read these threads.

Can't say it'll get in the way of my work. Probably cause I'm gainfully unemployed. Still I doubt it'll have the effect most reporters think.

Unfreakable: It's a context headline. It's not funny until after you click the link. It'll be in the running for that sub-category this year; I've already flagged it but it's not in this list.

Hmm. Yeah I knew it wasn't funny without the underlying story, figured that's why it wasn't here. But I didn't know there was a sub-category for that kind of stuff. Cool.

I figure the time I've wasted on the job doing non-work things is nowhere close to the amount of my time my various employers have wasted having me wait on people to get out of meetings, conference calls, back from lunch, etc., in order for me to do something. I once had to wait until almost 8 PM to wait for a higher-up to get back from dinner with her family. Another time, I waited on someone to get out of a meeting until after 9 PM on a Friday night.

Add to that all the time I've wasted doing things that turned out to be useless because we were given the wrong information about something, or changing something again because the first changes they gave us were incomplete, and yeah, it's just about even on the productive work vs. time wasted by other people equation. And none of the shiat I've mentioned above is anywhere close to being within my control. I can't command people to take a shorter lunch or step out of a meeting to deal with stuff that involves me. I have to wait on them.

I don't take long lunches, I don't call in sick a lot, I don't surf porn on company machines, I don't spend half the day bullshiatting with coworkers, I don't take 15 smoke breaks a day, I don't disappear into the bathroom for 30 min. at a time, I don't drink on the job, I don't come into work late, will frequently be at work until 630-7 PM... compared to most people, I'm a model employee.

So the occasions on which I do non-work stuff are justifiable. My bosses may not agree, so it's a good thing I'm not asking them. I figure if my farking off periods start to affect my job, they'll let me know. 10 years and counting... so far so good.

theoriginalslash: I don't take long lunches, I don't call in sick a lot, I don't surf porn on company machines, I don't spend half the day bullshiatting with coworkers, I don't take 15 smoke breaks a day, I don't disappear into the bathroom for 30 min. at a time, I don't drink on the job, I don't come into work late, will frequently be at work until 630-7 PM... compared to most people, I'm a model employee.

You need to be less motivated. People know you'll pull up their slack.

What, no love for Blast in Lahore takes at least 39 lives, costs extra?

Wow, my second HOTW in a row. Thanks, benevolent modmins.

One in ten British children believe that the Queen invented the telephone. The remaining 90% think that she will, she will, rock you

Huh, missed that headline, might be the Champion.

I would like to be able to read comments on threads I submitted but were not approved.

And no, I won't pay $5 for it. I already waste half my life here as it is.

march whatness? is that like spring fever?

Good headlines, but not enough bodily function humor for them to be HOTY worthy

Wow. When I first saw that Chile earthquake headline, I totally missed the double meaning. A retroactive bravo to the submitter on that one.